‘What’s this?’
I’m standing in Jimmy’s office, his computer monitor turned towards me with my emailed story plastered across the screen.
‘What happened to the Dangerous thing? I think our readers would have flocked to that story, Ambri. Instead I’m now publishing a story about some snot-nosed teenager who wants to be the next cable-TV reality superstar that will fade into nothing not even an hour after her episodes air?’
‘That’s not going to happen and she’s not a snot-nosed teenager. She’s lovely, actually.’
I can’t believe he’s being such an asshole about this. The Taylor story is a good story. Surprisingly, even Trevor agreed. We can get Portland to rally behind one of our own and create a buzz about a possible up-and-coming singer. And if she wins… come on. Hands down a good story.
‘I know for a fact you got that Dangerous story and I want it on my desk in the next hour.’
Damn it, Trevor. I knew he’d tell him. I knew he couldn’t keep it a secret. That’s why he was so supportive over the Taylor story when I showed it to him. He already knew it wasn’t gonna fly.
‘I can’t write the Dangerous story, I’m sorry. The Taylor story is good. Trust me on this. I have a good feeling.’
‘You have a good feeling? Feelings don’t pay people’s wages, Ambri.’
How dare he pretend that it would be my fault if he can’t afford to pay us without the Dangerous story? If that’s the case, then he’s fucked this website over far more than he’s let on. I know I know nothing about how the website makes money but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t depend on just one story.
‘I know that, Jimmy. But neither will you if you don’t run the story I’ve written.’ I snap it out like poison. I’m tired of being abused by him on a daily basis. The site’s success or lack of is not my problem. I’m only a small piece of the puzzle.
‘Now you’re telling me how to run my own business?’ he snaps back, jumping out of his chair.
‘Apparently you’re not very good at it…’
Clearly, I’ve lost it. It’s my time to snap. I take a step back out of his office, for an easier getaway considering how mad he seems.
He takes a breath, slowly walking my direction. ‘I’ll tell ya what, Ambri. You’ve got two choices. One, you can write the story no matter what kind of dirt you have on someone and keep your job. Or – and this would be the dumbest decision you’d ever make – you decide to stand up for your friend and lose your job. Take your pick.’ He’s holding out his hands, an invisible option in each one.
I glance between the two. I kind of need a job. I also kind of don’t fuck over my friends.
‘I choose my friend.’
‘Get out!’ He points towards the main entrance doors.
‘Good. I’ll take my Taylor story with me too.’
‘What will you do with it? Read it on the toilet?’
I groan to myself as I pack up my desk, everyone in the office now watching. What am I gonna do with the Taylor story? I feel like I can’t let her down now that I’ve gotten her all excited for a string of stories on her progress. I guess I could post it myself. Yeah, I’ll do exactly that! I’ll make my own damn website. I shove the last few things from my desk in my bag and turn to Jimmy, who is still standing in the center of the room after following me to my desk.
‘You just met your biggest competition.’ As the words leave my mouth I realize I’ve never said anything with as much of a hateful tone as I just used.
‘We’ll see about that. TREVOR!’ He screams his name even though he’s literally sitting a foot from him.
Everyone in the office is now pretty much cowering in their cubicles hoping not to be his next victim.
‘Yeah?’ Trevor stands slowly, not quite as eager to fawn over Jimmy as usual.
‘Write the damn story! Make it up if you have to, just get it to me in the next twenty minutes!’
‘Your dream come true… a promotion by default,’ I say to Trevor with an evil smile. ‘Good luck.’ He’s gonna need it.
Jimmy makes his way back to his office, slamming his door behind him and knocking all the framed photos from the wall to the floor.
I’ve been here two years. I was not prepared for this much change in the last week. I’m starting to feel like my world is crumbling all over again.
*
Tonight, I promised Noah I’d start packing. I’ve put it off long enough. My lease is up soon and if I don’t pack now it’s really gonna get stressful. We invited Claire and Ben over to have dinner and make a night of it. Now the night will be not only about me packing up the apartment I’ve lived in for a decade but me losing the job I loved as well. Sounds like a real pity party to me.
I open the door to my apartment, the smell of greasy no-good-for-you delicious pizza hitting me in the face. Noah walks around the counter with his arms out.
‘I’m so sorry about your job, babe.’ He wraps his arms around me as soon as I drop my bag onto the floor. I lean my head against him. ‘But don’t worry, you’ll find another one and until then you’ll be fine.’
I texted him as I left my building. He was as shocked as I was.
‘So, what exactly happened?’ Claire asks, turning away from the box she’s filling with kitchen items.
I glance to Noah.
‘I haven’t told them the details yet.’ He shakes his head with a small smile.
I nod, grabbing a slice of pizza and hopping up onto a bar stool and turning towards my living room. ‘Well, we went to the Dangerous show, ya know, and Karmen wasn’t exactly honest with me about how she had such a connection with them.’
‘Uh-oh…’ Ben is sitting on the couch watching TV, but he turns his attention to me. ‘I have a feeling a panty-thrower story is headed our way.’
‘Worse,’ I sigh. ‘Matthew is her ex and she apparently still has a thing for him.’
‘And he wasn’t exactly over her either,’ Noah adds in.
‘Our interview took a weird turn. I only had a couple questions out when I realized they were very obviously into each other and I couldn’t run it knowing what she was doing to Henry. They were all bad-mouthing him and I couldn’t hurt him like that.’
Ben drops the remote, scrambling to pick it up and put the batteries that have rolled across the floor back in. I watch him for a minute until he looks up with a goofy grin.
‘Sorry,’ he says, gently setting the remote on the coffee table in front of him as if it’s made of glass.
‘Anyway, I had another story, one I’d found on my own and everything. But Trevor got to Jimmy first. He’d only accept the Dangerous story and gave me only two options. Either write it and end up hurting Henry or stand up for him and lose my job.’ I grin, my teeth gritted like I’m in pain. ‘I couldn’t write a fake story. You guys know I’m a terrible liar, so, I stood up for him.’
‘You lost your job for Henry?’ Claire is now standing in the middle of the living room, her jaw agape and eyes wide. Ben stares at me, a huge weird grin on his face.
I shrug my shoulders. ‘Looks that way.’
‘I can’t believe you did that after what he did.’
‘That’s actually not the worst part,’ I say, hoping to blow past the Henry thing. I don’t exactly want to get into how my feelings are changing for Henry in front of Noah or Ben. Mostly because that also means my feelings for Noah are changing and I’m not ready to face it yet.
Ben laughs. ‘How much worse could it get?’
‘It’s me…’ I point to myself as if that explains it all and he nods. ‘I might have told Jimmy that I’d build my own site.’
Ben bursts out another laugh, making me feel terrible that I even said it out loud. I know it was a bit ballsy but he doesn’t have to make me feel like total shit.
‘Stop laughing at her, Ben!’ Claire demands.
‘I’m not laughing at her. Just the whole thing really.’
‘Why is it funny?’ Noah asks.
‘It’s not funny. I just happen to know a guy who could actually help make this happen. If that’s really what you wanted, that is. He could help you build a site that could easily compete with PDX Weekly.’
‘Who?’ Noah asks, my heart sinking a little bit more with each passing second. Claire told me all about Henry’s new job venture. From what I know, his clients are people not starting a website to write about things as trivial as local reviews. He’s probably the most expensive web and graphic designer I could choose. There is zero way I’m asking him for help. I can’t afford it, for one thing. Plus, things are weird as it is.
‘Henry!’ He raises his hands as if we’re all complete idiots.
I shake my head. ‘I think he might have a lot going on right now. He definitely doesn’t have time to help me out because I told my asshole boss I’d be his biggest competition.’
‘Is that actually what you said?’ Noah asks with a disbelieving laugh.
I nod, my cheeks starting to burn with embarrassment.
‘Besides, a website probably costs a lot and I’m sure Henry isn’t cheap. I’m unemployed now, remember? I can’t exactly afford hundreds of dollars or however much it costs for a website I don’t even know how to use.’
Ben cocks his head, a sly smile on his face. ‘You actually think he wouldn’t do it for you as a favor after hearing what you did for him?’
‘Ben’s right,’ Claire adds. ‘You saved him from public humiliation. I’m pretty sure he’d help you out.’
I chew on my fingernails, looking between the three of them. Would he? I didn’t do this expecting a favor and even asking seems wrong. Morally challenging, you could say.
Noah sighs as if what he’s about to say is painful. ‘It’s worth a shot. You just saved him some heartache. If it was me, I’d help.’
‘See…’ Ben says, walking across the room and throwing an arm around Noah’s neck. ‘Noah is a smart guy and even he agrees.’
‘I dunno.’ I take a bite of pizza, chewing it slowly while I think. ‘I kinda want to wait and see what happens between him and Karmen. She’s supposed to tell him today. I can’t ask him for a favor until he knows the truth.’
Ben smiles. ‘You’re a smart girl, Ambri.’
I shrug, almost in agreement with him. Isn’t it bad enough that Henry had to save my life? Now I’m supposed to ask him to help me save my career?
‘Let’s pack! It’ll get our minds off things.’ Claire grabs my hand, walking me into my room and handing me an empty box. She starts pulling things out of my closet. ‘I’m sorry I mentioned the “what Henry did” thing in front of Noah. I know you don’t like the constant reminder.’ She’s quiet when she says it, obviously trying to keep it between us.
I flop back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. ‘We’ve been fighting about him lately. I’ll have to tell him how I’m feeling eventually.’ I sigh. ‘I ran into Henry this morning, at Starbucks.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. He’s up to something.’
‘Why do you think that?’
‘He bought us both coffee and when he handed me my cup the name written across it was YouArePerfect.’ I finally sit up, crossing my legs underneath me Indian style. ‘And his said I’mTheBiggestIdiot.’
Claire grins. ‘That’s pretty cute, Ambri.’
‘You don’t have to tell me twice.’ I start looking around the room, suddenly noticing the already sealed boxes near the door. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘An hour?’
‘You did all this in an hour?’
‘When you grow up as a military brat, you get really good at packing. You called the right girl to help.’
I nod. Her moving here was her family’s last move. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am for that. I watch her digging through my closet, putting things in the box next to her.
‘Why are there boxes in here labeled with an H?’ she says from the back of my closet. ‘And since when do you collect records?’ She pulls out the only half-dozen records I own. None that I bought myself. ‘And why do you have two of this one?’ She holds up Infusion’s last album.
‘The boxes are everything that reminds me of him. And the records, well…’ I walk over, taking one from her with a sigh. ‘This one’s signed. “To Ambri, our biggest fan. Brad Winston.”’ I read the writing across the front of the album cover.
‘Everything that reminds you of him? As in Henry?’
I shrug.
She laughs a disbelieving laugh as she shakes her head. ‘How do I not know about this record? You’re, like, obsessed with the guy. I’m surprised you haven’t hung this on your wall in a frame of gold.’
‘Henry sent it about six months ago. I sent it back to him, but he only sent it right back, so I shoved it in here with the rest of them.’
‘Ambri, he probably went to a lot of trouble to get that. It’s not just signed. It’s made out to you. He probably met Brad at some point and this is what he asked him for. While he was dating someone else, I might add.’ She looks through a few records. ‘Infusion, Infusion, Infusion, Billy Idol, Billy Idol.’ She laughs. ‘He bought all these, didn’t he? He’s the only one that ever played into your ridiculous musician obsession. Especially this one…’ She holds up one of the Billy Idol records. ‘Surely you’ve grown out of Billy?’
‘Are you kidding?’ I make my way into the back of my closet, pulling out the life-size cardboard cut-out Henry gave me one year for my birthday. I set it on the floor in front of Claire, who bursts out a laugh. ‘He’s a legend. Look at him! He’s not exactly some troll with a bunch of old songs. He’s, like, forever hot.’ I make my way back to the bed, sitting on the edge.
‘First of all, I can’t believe you still have this thing. Why did you hide away everything that he’s given you?’
‘Because I had to forget him, Claire. Seeing him all over my apartment was killing me.’
Claire frowns. ‘Listen…’ she walks to where I’m sitting on the edge of the bed ‘… I think it’s about time you and Henry have a real talk. You owe it to yourself, don’t you think?’
‘I’m actually trying not to think about exactly that. I don’t know what’s up with him, but this morning he was almost the Henry I used to know. He was… so nice.’
‘Were you?’
I nod. ‘I think so, before I ran out, that is.’ I stare over at Billy. ‘The thing is, I don’t know how to feel about him being the Henry I knew. I don’t know how to let him back in or if I even want to. I don’t know how to trust him again.’
‘Call him. Meet up for lunch and talk. Talk to him about the website too. It can’t hurt. It’ll give you a chance to figure out how you feel.’
‘I’m kinda voted out by all you guys so I guess I’m gonna have to.’ And here I thought I was better with peer pressure than I so obviously am.
‘Do you mind if I borrow this?’ She takes the signed record from the bed where I left it.
I shrug. ‘Sure. I didn’t know you were an Infusion fan, but you will be once you listen to it.’ I laugh, walking over to the closet to start finally packing even though I really don’t want to. While the rest of my life is in shambles, my life with Noah is supposed to just be beginning. I should probably figure out if that’s actually what I want. Soon.