‘I see you got your things moved in last night?’ Claire says as she and Ben walk into my office unannounced again.
‘I did and thank you. I won’t stay long, I promise. Ben’s already made it very clear that the loud sex will happen with or without me in the next room.’ I cringe. ‘I’ve already got a couple appointments to check out some apartments today.’ I’ve been scouring the Internet all morning looking for anything downtown that I don’t have to sell my soul for. The rent in Portland has gone up even after my being away only two years. I’ll easily be paying almost what I did in LA.
‘That’s right. On my days we get loud.’
‘Your days?’ I ask, a little afraid to hear what exactly he means.
‘We trade off. She gets anything she wants one day and the next is mine.’
I shake my head, with a mostly disgusted laugh.
Claire sits in one of the chairs in front of my desk making herself comfortable as Ben walks the walls looking through the bookshelves.
‘Why do I feel like welcoming me into your spare room isn’t why you’re here?’
She grins. ‘When did you meet Brad Winston?’
How does she know about that?
I fold my arms across my chest and lean back in my chair. ‘Last year.’
‘How?’
‘Am I in trouble for something?’ Claire never interrogates me unless she’s got something on me and she’s giving me a chance to tell the truth. Which isn’t often. I’m starting to feel like this is one of those moments.
She shakes her head. ‘How’d you meet him?’
‘He came to me for a logo on his new album. I did some work for him.’ That’s not entirely how I know him. I also run their band website. I’ve been talking to Brad on a monthly basis for about a year now. I always intended to tell Ambri all this but I kind of needed to be on her good side to do so.
Claire leans down, pulling something from her bag. She hands me the record. ‘You did some work for him and asked him to sign this for Ambri?’
I nod, taking the record from her. I couldn’t believe it when I got it back in the mail. I couldn’t believe she’d let how much she hated me overpower how much she loved this band. Right then I knew I might never get to talk to her again. It didn’t stop me from sending it right back to her though. I wanted her to have it. I know how obsessed she is and I knew I’d probably never get the chance to surprise her with it again.
‘I kind of thought this would have been something she loved. She didn’t.’
‘She kept it. She kept all of it. Anything you’ve ever given her. Anything that reminds her of you, she’s got it all. Including that stupid Billy Idol cut-out. It’s all buried in the back of her closet.’
I glance up from the record. ‘How do you know this?’ We did exactly the same thing, packing each other away, hoping not seeing each other or anything that reminded us of each other would make everything go away. It didn’t. For either of us.
‘Ben and I were there helping her pack up her apartment last night.’
I rub the back of my neck. I forgot she was moving in with Noah soon. My chance with her is fleeting.
Ben is now at my side looking out the windows behind me. ‘She lost her job for you yesterday.’
‘What?’ I turn to him, shocked to hear this.
‘I’m gonna assume you know what a whore your hot piece of ass was since you’ve now moved in with me?’
I nod. ‘Yeah. Her uh… Matthew sent me a little preview of it before I was even able to talk to her.’
‘Classy. So that’s the shit rock-star money buys, is it?’ Ben laughs.
‘Her boss demanded the Dangerous story yesterday. He gave her an ultimatum. Either write the story and keep her job or protect whoever she was protecting and lose her job.’
‘She chose to be fired to protect me?’ I rub my forehead. I can’t believe she’d do that. ‘I suppose she hates me even more now?’
Ben and Claire both laugh.
‘What?’
‘It’s your lucky day. She challenged that asshole boss of hers with a head-to-head of PDX Weekly against her very own website. You know anyone that might be able to help a beautiful heartbroken woman with a website that could blow that dickweed out of the water?’ Ben stares over at me.
‘Does she even want my help?’
‘I think she does,’ Claire says with a small smile. ‘But her asking isn’t going to come easily. You might need to volunteer.’
‘I’ll do whatever she wants whenever she’s ready.’
‘Aw. Ben, pay attention. You’re not all gushing with me anymore. I’m gonna need some of this,’ Claire says to Ben, who only rolls his eyes.
‘Yeah, thanks a lot for coming back around, Henry,’ he bursts out before letting out an irritated laugh.
‘Remember when I was here last?’ Claire takes over the conversation again. I can see her definitely being the disciplinarian if these two ever have kids. She’s good at it.
‘How could I forget?’
‘I asked you if you still had feelings for her and you said you didn’t know. I have a feeling your answer may have changed.’
I sigh, standing from my desk and walking around it, sitting in the chair next to her. If I’m going to become someone who doesn’t keep secrets from the people who mean the most to me, I have to start doing the right thing with all my friends.
‘You’re right. You’re both right.’ I look over at Ben, who is now making himself comfortable at my desk, scrolling through the website on my screen. ‘I know exactly how I feel about Ambri. I just don’t know how to fix this. She’s moved on, she’s moving in with Noah. I’m doing my best to show her who I was. Who I still am, but she’s stubborn. She also has every reason to choose him over me.’ I sigh nervously. ‘She doesn’t have to let me in again.’
‘You’re right.’ Claire leans forward in her chair. ‘But, that said, you’re in. You’re not in very far, though, so you’ve got a lot of work to do, but I know she’s starting to see the you she fell in love with. It’s written all over her face every time you’re mentioned. If you really love her, you’re gonna have to fight for her.’
‘I think he’s one step ahead of us, baby.’ Ben picks up the paper I’ve been scribbling a list on. Making lists is something Ambri taught me to do a long time ago. I have ridiculous lists of things I’ll never do or need all over my office, my computer, even my phone.
‘Somehow I knew you would be.’ Claire stands, patting my shoulder as she walks by. ‘I wanted to hate you for her, Henry.’
‘Recreating the last few days you had with her? Not a bad idea,’ Ben says, nodding as he reads through it.
‘I do what I can.’ I laugh. ‘Does this mean I’m officially forgiven?’
‘You’re forgiven. Don’t fuck it up again.’ She stops in the doorway. ‘Come on, Ben.’ She waves Ben towards her. ‘Oh, and the names on the coffee cup thing… that was a nice touch. You’re starting to resemble the Henry I once knew.’
I laugh. The fact that Ambri told Claire about it says it stuck with her enough to get her thinking. The names on the cups was a last-minute decision I knew I had to do the moment I saw her sitting there all alone in the place where I used to sit with her. Those mornings were always the best part of my day. I can’t believe she still does it without me. That one hurt. It reminded me of how bad I messed up.
When the barista asked for the names I asked if I could write them on the cups. She looked at me like I was nuts, but she handed them and a Sharpie over to me. The moment Ambri noticed hers was when she finally saw me through everything she’s made me out to be in her head. She saw the guy who never would have let her down. The guy even I lost for a while. When she saw mine, I saw her bite her lip. She can’t keep how she feels about me buried away forever.