‘It was one of the hardest conversations with her that I’ve ever had. There were parts where it felt like things were exactly how they should be. Then spots where I wasn’t sure she was completely with me,’ I say to Ben as he throws a dart across the room towards the board, landing it just outside the bullseye.
When we were holding hands, I could have kissed her right then. It was a struggle to hold back. To see her upset that I’ve ever had a suicidal thought pretty much guaranteed that I couldn’t ever leave her. I can’t ever hurt her again like I did.
‘Could have been worse. She could have told you to go fuck yourself. If I was in her place I might have.’
‘Luckily for both of us, you are not in her place.’ I sip my beer. ‘She said she’s not sure how she feels about Noah anymore.’ I glance over at him.
‘She was feeling that before you got back. You know, she had a hard time even dating him to begin with. We convinced her to give him a shot, that maybe dating someone was what she needed to finally move on.’
‘Move on from me.’ I drop my head with a sigh. ‘God, I’m a fucking idiot.’
‘We all think so.’ He laughs.
‘I think we might be turning into a couple of gossips.’ I laugh, taking my turn, throwing my first dart and hitting the wall about a foot above the board.
‘Nah… Gossips tell everyone. Plus, this is manly shit. Mostly.’ He laughs at my second shot that hits the wall, falling to the floor. ‘Man, that girl fucks you up for concentration. I’ll have to thank her for all the extra cash.’
‘I’m about to go broke, ya know?’ I kid. We’re now playing for ten bucks a game. The pool crushing was a little too rich for me to do every time I hang out with him. Today, I’m already down thirty bucks.
‘I doubt you’re going broke.’ Ben sips his beer. ‘What’s the next step in your plan?’
‘I’m having the signed album framed for her birthday. I think giving it to her now might mean more.’
‘Speaking of her birthday…’ Ben takes his place in front of the board now that my three shots have successfully landed nowhere near where they should have. ‘We’re going to eighties night. You’re invited but Noah will be there for a while, so you’ll have to play it cool.’
‘I can’t miss her birthday because he’s gonna be there. And what do you mean by a while? He’s not staying for the whole thing?’
‘He’s on nights starting tomorrow. He picked up some extra shifts since Ambri lost her job. He wanted to help her out.’
‘Damn it.’
‘What?’
‘Why can’t she be dating some douche bag?’
Ben laughs. ‘Because she’s a smart girl. And I’m pretty sure you taught her to stop dating douche bags. Remember?’
I roll my eyes. ‘Then I guess it’s just past me fucking over future me.’
‘He’ll only be there ʼtil nine-thirty. We’re leaving at eight. You could be fashionably late and miss him altogether. It won’t be that weird. And… we’re dressing up.’
‘Dressing up?’ Ugh. I hate eighties night exactly for this reason. I hate dressing up. The last time we went I refused to dress like a fool; Ben made up party-pooper songs about me all night.
‘Henry? Ambri mentioned you were back in town!’
Ben raises a single eyebrow when we exchange glances. I’d know his voice anywhere. Wynne Jennings. Ambri and Rory’s father. I turn towards him with a nervous smile. I haven’t talked to him since I left. I didn’t only leave Ambri when I left, I left her whole family and, after everything they’ve done for me, I half expected them to hate me when I finally returned.
‘Ben!’ He extends a hand to Ben first, then reaches for mine. ‘How you doing, Henry?’
‘Good. Actually, I’m doing a lot better than I was.’ I look around for Jana, his wife, but don’t see her. They are the only couple I know besides Ben and Claire that represent everything a marriage should be. Hopefully, nothing has happened to her since I’ve seen them last. ‘How’s Jana?’
‘She’s doing great. She’s still my rock.’ He waves a fist in the air with a grin. ‘This place has the best nachos and she hinted that she could go for some, so I thought I’d come by and pick some up for her as a surprise.’ He laughs. ‘Drove clear across town for her. The things we do for women, eh?’
‘I hear that, Wynne,’ Ben says, tossing another round, completely taking over my turns. As if I had a chance at beating him anyway. I toss another twenty on the table.
‘We sure miss you,’ he says to me with a smile. ‘Our family isn’t quite the same without you around.’
‘The feeling is mutual.’
‘How’s the website building going?’
‘Ambri told you about the website?’ Even though she’s starting to be open to seeing me, I feel like she’s really holding back getting close to me, so I’m surprised she told her parents any of this. Including the fact that I’m back in town.
‘Yeah. We had lunch with her a couple of days ago and she was nervous about asking you. I’m glad she finally did. I took a chance there even mentioning it. She’d have been upset if I’d have let the cat out of the bag. I’m glad to see you two back to being friends. You were always quite the pair.’
I nod. ‘We were. I’ve missed her. I’m always here for Ambri, for anything she needs.’
‘I know you are.’ He nods, still watching Ben continue to kick my ass at darts. ‘Can we talk, Henry?’ He squeezes my shoulder, walking me away from Ben’s ears.
‘Absolutely.’ I start to get a little nervous. He sounds more serious than I’ve heard him in a while.
‘You doing better with everything?’
I nod. ‘I had a rough time for a while. I’m sure you know that.’
‘That I do, that I do. I was in that same place for a long time. You know what I learned?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Life changes. Seasons change. Feelings change. Don’t let the past overtake your future. She’d want you to be happy.’ Wynn grins. ‘I know she would.’
‘I actually came to the same conclusion recently. Thank you for reminding me.’
‘You’re a good man, Henry. A really good man.’ He pats my back the same way I’ve seen him do with Ambri so many times. This family is my family even more than my own. ‘Well, I should get going before Jana worries. Women always worry. Remember that, boys, it’ll save you a lot of trouble.’
‘Will do,’ Ben says with a nod.
Wynne walks towards the front counter but stops midway and turns back. ‘Henry.’ I look over. ‘Don’t you give up on her this time…’ He winks, a smile saying he knows a lot more than I give him credit for.
‘Never again.’ I’m almost positive Ambri didn’t tell them what happened between us. It’s not her style. She’d have gone to the grave with it because she was hurt. She doesn’t handle hurt very well. Just like me.
‘You can’t run from fate,’ Ben says as soon as Wynne leaves the building. ‘I don’t know when you’ll finally start taking my advice.’
I nod, blowing out a breath. ‘You are officially the master of deep meaningful advice.’
‘Finally!’ He throws out his arms. ‘Someone gives me a little bit of credit.’
‘Brad Winston is playing a show here next week. I’ve got something big planned.’
‘Oh yeah? Now that is the Henry I grew up with.’
‘It’s not enough. I’m gonna have to dress up and act like a complete idiot for her birthday. You wanna help?’
‘Do you even have to ask me twice? Hell, yeah! I say go big or go home.’
‘I knew you would.’ I pull my phone from my pocket, pulling up her contact.
Meet me at Pioneer Square, tomorrow, ten a.m.? I’ll bring cake.
I hit send, hoping she shows because it’s the first part of my plan in showing her who I really am again without all the apologizing and bad memories.
Cake for breakfast? Like I could say no to that.