vi.

I didn’t take my Zyprexa till I got home, well after midnight. It took two hours of tossing and turning in bed before the soporific effect of the Zyprexa dragged me down into a deep sleep.

I dreamt savage dreams.

I saw myself taking the big blond man, a knife in my hand, slicing through his arms as I cut through his defensive guard, angling for the thick neck and the ropy veins pulsing there. Then I saw the teenage girl, Sarah, her sweet face and soft voice and her woman’s body, and my body betrayed me with an erection. I was disgusted with myself for wanting her, but I dreamed of taking her, her white body laid open like a flower beneath me. We lay together in a bed in a small whitewashed room, and the head of the blond man was mounted on a shelf above the bed, his eyes open and watching us, his mouth twisted in a leer as he watched the young girl move beneath me.

I dreamt of Marcos, on foot, facing down a small army of large boxes the size of an old style telephone booth, and each one opened to disgorge the angry man from the bus station, dozens of them with all the same face. Marcos fought them all, skillfully, his hands and feet whirling in the intricate traps and parries of kali, a blade in one hand, a stick in the other, the stick whistling in a series of blows to open their guards so he could enter with the knife, but they kept coming, more and more of them, till he was finally taken down by the dark tide of men.

The blond man’s face spread across the sky like the angry visage of God, watching Marcos go down. Clouds swirled around his face and his evil leer darkened the sky, and then he laughed as the men swarmed over Marcos, and it was like a distant thunder. I struggled to reach Marcos, but my limbs were slow and sluggish, as though I were fighting my way through oil, and I couldn’t get there in time to help him. My friend fought to his feet and then long daggers flew from the eyes of the blond man and struck Marcos down.

I woke with a start, my heart pounding, and looked at the clock. It was four a.m. I’d only been asleep for two hours. I went to the bathroom and used the toilet, then went back to bed, groggy and not quite able to fall asleep. I lingered in that half twilight between sleep and waking, with bits of dream dancing just out of reach of my logical mind, until the dark began to lighten outside my windows.