As a young woman, Betty Ng raced along a straight path marked by effort, focus, and ambition. Talent and dedication to work translated into scholarships that carried Betty through college and graduate school. She started her career at the top, working between London’s financial district and New York City’s Wall Street. Her coveted job came with first-class travel and a salary that most of us can only dream of—until illness and pain destroyed her perfect world.
“I was living a very good life,” Betty recalled. “The pain was like a surprise guest that disrupted and ruined my party.” That uninvited guest clung to her for more than ten years, progressively destroying her life with each additional illness. Her multiple ailments led her to all manner of healers, including top New York City doctors, a shaman in Peru, and meditation masters in British Columbia. She finally found two practices that led her to a full recovery: the ancient Chinese system of qigong and Essentrics.
The pain started in her early thirties when she was one of a five-person team managing a billion-dollar hedge fund. It was the kind of job that required a good night’s sleep, but Betty was plagued with severe heartburn that kept her awake all night. The stress of working, combined with lack of sleep, put strain on her body.
Betty progressed through the ranks of prestigious doctors until finally being treated by the number one gastroenterologist in New York City. He ordered many tests at a facility he partially owned; the expensive tests generated results that Betty already knew—that she had acid reflux and a stomach hernia. “When I experienced side effects from medication, he prescribed additional meds to offset the side effects,” she said. She saw that she was going down the path of dependence on medications, and she felt she was too young for that.
Medication was the only option her doctor offered. When Betty told him that she had revamped her diet, eliminating alcohol and caffeine while adding whole grains such as quinoa, the doctor asked her what quinoa was. “I was shocked,” Betty said. “I would not expect an average doctor to know about these grains, but I thought a top gastroenterologist should. I decided not to go back to him.”
And so began a long and expensive journey to seek a cure. Among the health-care practitioners Betty turned to were a chiropractor specializing in applied kinesiology and an acupuncturist. At the point when her digestive issues showed some signs of improvement, she began experiencing back pain, then shoulder and neck pain along with hip pain. Pain would flare up in different areas, ease for a time, and then resurface. She was in a downward spiral, she said, highlighted only by migrating pain.
Her social life vanished as she spent her time either at work or in treatments. “For the first time, I was not in control,” Betty said. “When you are in pain and nothing seems to help, it creates a primal fear because you really feel you have lost control of yourself, your body. You have gone from being healthy to being taken over by pain. It’s as if your identity, your sense of self has become obliterated.”
It was a slow, painful decade for Betty as her health declined into an unmanageable swamp of pain and fear. “I was holding the emotional stress within the body,” she said. “It was all tension from the stress and worry of work. Going back and forth from work to doctors all the time just added to the cycle of stress, frustration, and anxiety.”
At work, Betty tried to maintain a healthy facade, which only added to her anxiety. She and her coworkers, all high achievers, closely followed the global financial markets that operate almost around the clock, always tethered to their phones. She also traveled a great deal, which was exhausting. Hers was a world in which mistakes could cost millions and were easily spotted by both friends and foes. The need for fast and accurate decisions was constant. “I had a solid track record of making very good decisions and consistently generating profits. I had the respect of my peers, but the relentless pressure to keep doing better and better and never stop, in a very volatile environment, was breaking me,” Betty recalled.
All the while Betty’s marriage was dissolving. “I actually felt that my pain was causing marital stress because it was so hard for my husband to understand what I was going through,” she explained. “Pain can wreck a relationship.” She and her ex-husband remain good friends, but at the time the sadness of having to confront the end of her marriage added another layer of emotional stress.
Betty’s health had declined to such a degree that she decided to take a two-year rehabilitation sabbatical. A year into her sabbatical, her health had still not improved. By then she’d lost more than fifteen pounds from her already tiny frame. Her digestive problems persisted, and widespread pain left her weak and semi-immobilized.
“My lower spine was so rigid that I could not lie flat on the bed even with a very good mattress,” Betty recalled. “The chiropractor took some X-rays and he said, ‘You have lost the curvature of your lower back. It is straight.’ I asked him how that could have happened. He said, ‘I’m not sure.’ I asked him the remedy. He said, ‘Well, the damage is done—there is no way to cure it.” Her acupuncturist was more optimistic but felt it would take a long time before her spine got any better.
Betty was desperate. When friends raved about the healing powers of a certain shaman, she traveled to southeastern Peru to be treated by him and his crystals. (Didn’t work.) She also explored mindfulness meditation, and went on a ten-day retreat during which she sat in complete stillness for eighteen hours a day. “My concentration to block out the pain got better, but my pain didn’t,” said Betty, adding that she became even more aware of her body and discovered “micropains.”
Finally, friends then connected her to a couple in California; the wife was a neuroscientist and qigong healer, and her husband a biologist and qigong teacher. Qigong (pronounced “chee gung”) is an ancient Chinese practice that integrates physical postures, breathing techniques, and focused intention. Qi translates as “life force or vital energy,” while gong means “accomplishment or skill.” Qigong practices can be classified as martial, medical, or spiritual. Betty felt immediate benefits from both the qigong training and healing, which helped her untangle emotional issues related to some of her pain and her intolerance of certain foods. “Slowly, slowly, I got better,” said Betty. She eventually moved to San Diego to work more closely with the couple, and after a few years of working with them, she was finally getting better. “My body was very weak and my pain was not completely gone,” she recalls, “but I was definitely getting better, not worse.”
Before her illness, Betty had been athletic, participating in yoga, cycling, and hiking. She wanted her strength back but couldn’t summon up the energy to do much more than go for an occasional walk. That’s when she saw Classical Stretch on PBS for the first time. She was intrigued enough to record the program and try it.
“I felt so good right off the bat,” Betty recalled. “I started doing the twenty-two-minute program maybe twice or three times a week; it was all that I could handle at that point. On a week when I wasn’t feeling so great, I would do just the stress-release episodes, the ones which just entailed floor work, gentle stretching, no strengthening at all.”
Within the span of six months, despite some bumps in the road, Betty grew stronger and became pain-free. Relative to her entire struggle with pain, it was a short time. “You have to remember I had been in pain for ten years and going through different treatments before that! And within a half year, I went from not wanting to do any sports to wanting to become a fitness instructor, to teach Classical Stretch,” she said.
Betty is now focused on teaching Essentrics and on rebuilding her financial health. “My old colleagues can retire; I cannot. My health ate into my savings. I am starting from zero again. I have to think how I can generate enough income to live for the next thirty to forty years—but that is fine. I feel capable,” she said.
Stress has been well documented as a major cause of real physical conditions and diseases. It’s no surprise that Betty’s body was incapable of permanently withstanding the extreme stress she had put on it throughout her life. Very few people don’t have health problems when they endure years of stress. When there is extreme stress, something has to give, mentally or physically—or both.
Pain is a message telling us that something is wrong. We are not trained to listen to our bodies, which was why Betty didn’t understand what was happening to her as one system after another became paralyzed with pain. Her body was telling her to stop and get rid of the stress, but because she didn’t understand what it was saying (nor did any of the health professionals she visited!), she just kept pushing herself as she searched for a medical solution.
Finally, her body took control of her through pain that forced her to stop. Her pain had become unbearable, and she had no energy to move. Her body gave her no choice; it closed down.
In this high-pressure world, our jobs often require us to live unbalanced lives. Such jobs are often fun, challenging, and exciting, making slowing down to live a more balanced life a difficult choice. However, no human can withstand constant stress. There is a reason why there are so many people addicted to anti-anxiety drugs, antidepressants, digestive medication, and opioids. I know many people who do not slow down when they should, ending up in even worse shape than Betty.
Working hard, achieving dreams, and excelling at our chosen careers are the pursuits that make life so much fun—a continuous adventure and a challenge. However, we all must decide when to pull back and give our hearts, minds, and bodies a rest. You don’t have to learn the hard way!
This workout is ideal for those who are overwhelmed by stress. Stress creates tension in our muscles and interferes with the functioning of all the systems of our body, from our cardiovascular and digestive systems to our musculoskeletal systems. Stress forces our body to contract, internally tightening our muscles and slowing down the functioning of basic organs. This is why Betty’s pain migrated all over her body from one part to another and one organ to the other.
Use these exercises to relax your muscles when day-to-day existence becomes too stressful. They will help relieve the tension in your muscles and joints, and remind you how good it feels to be pain-free.
NOTE: A stress release workout is not intended to build strength. It is intended to release excessive tension in your muscles. While doing these stress-release exercises, you will be instructed to stay relaxed and floppy, like a rag doll. The healing benefits of total relaxation while moving are powerful. By staying relaxed throughout these exercises, you will see a huge change in your tension and pain while enjoying an increase in energy.