Willow woke up to knocking in her head. Odd, since she hadn’t gone to poker night and hadn’t had any alcohol. The knocking started up again, louder this time, and she realized it wasn’t her head, it was the front door. At 6:00 a.m.
Someone was going to die.
Even though she was wearing baggy sweats she normally wouldn’t be caught dead in, she staggered out of the bedroom and whipped open the front door prepared to blast someone with morning breath. “WHAT?”
Luna shoved a small bag into Willow’s hands.
Okay, so if it was a blueberry scone, she’d forgive Luna on the spot. She opened the bag and stilled. Not a blueberry scone. She lifted her head and stared at Luna. “You’re kidding.”
Unusually serious, Luna shook her head. “You threw up on Jameson’s shoes, and also on your precious tulips. Chef says you’ve been light-headed a couple of times. We both know math isn’t my strong suit, but in this case, one plus one equals you with a baby on board. You’re taking that pregnancy test if I have to pee on the stick myself.”
“Yeah, cuz that’s exactly how it works.” Willow’s sarcasm didn’t quite cover the fact that her voice was shaky. Hell, everything was shaky. She staggered back a step, shaking her head. There was no way. No possible way. “I’m on birth control.”
“Yeah, well, you and Shayne have been boinking like Energizer bunnies, and birth control is only ninety percent effective.”
The bag was trembling. Oh, wait. That was her. She was trembling. Which was ridiculous. “I’m not pregnant, Luna.”
“Then you won’t mind peeing on the stick.”
“I don’t have to pee.”
Luna pulled a thermos from her backpack. “Drink.”
“This isn’t funny, Luna.”
“Do I look amused? You acted like the Queen of Hearts yesterday.”
“Yeah, well, your crew misbehaves when Mom’s gone. I think they wanted me to fail.”
“You know that each and every one of them loves you. Now take that test right now so I can kill you where you stand if you’re not pregnant.”
Willow whirled on a bare heel and headed to the bathroom, not realizing Luna was right on her until she tried to shut the door on her nose. “Stay!” she demanded, and slammed the door.
Carefully not looking at herself in the mirror, she peed on the damn stick, then finished her business. The entire time she washed her hands she never glanced over at the potential life bomb on the counter. She refused to look. Couldn’t. “Luna!”
Luna opened the door so fast that Willow knew she must’ve been plastered up against it.
Willow thrust the peed-on stick at her. “Watch that.”
Luna gingerly took the stick with the tips of her fingers. “Okay, but this is some seriously sister shit here. If this doesn’t prove I love your mean, stubborn, crabby ass, I don’t know what will.”
“Just look at the stick! What does it say? Is there a plus or minus sign?”
Luna looked at the stick, her face revealing nothing.
“Well???”
Luna looked up, still giving nothing away. “What do you want it to say?”
Willow opened her mouth, then closed it again. When she spoke, she was surprised to hear herself lie. “Not pregnant, obviously. Do you not know me? Have we not been best friends for over twenty years?”
Luna bit her lower lip, reminding Willow without words that she’d been the wedge between them.
“Just tell me what it says.”
Luna’s eyes got suspiciously misty and Willow’s heart stopped because Luna never cried. A positive test. Pregnant. “Shit.” She grabbed another test from the bag. Peed on it and watched the stick herself.
It lit up with a plus sign so fast her head spun. “Oh my God.” She tossed it to Luna. “Another test, quick!”
“Stop throwing your pee sticks at me! And are you a water hose or what?”
The third one came out positive as well.
“Stop,” Luna said.
“I can’t!”
The fourth was also positive. Willow looked at the sticks lined up on the counter, all positive. She felt her eyes fill up.
“No, don’t cry,” Luna begged. “Please don’t cry. I’ll go to another store!”
Willow shook her head. “There’s no point.”
Luna, who’d already started toward the door, stopped and faced her. “You sure?”
“Yes,” she said, ignoring the catch in her voice. She and Shayne had always said that thanks to how they’d each grown up feeling like an afterthought, they never wanted kids.
Never.
Ever.
But there was a funny thing about saying never ever, and that was you couldn’t tell your heart what or how to think. Or that it wasn’t allowed to change its mind.
Because Willow’s heart had definitely done exactly that, changed its mind. Yes, she felt inadequate. Yes, she knew she was too much like her mom and Luna’s grandfather, tough and distant. She’d make a horrible mom. So it made no sense that this was exactly what she wanted.
Luna pulled a food container from her backpack. Willow opened it and stared down at the two blueberry scones. They swam as tears filled her eyes. As far as love languages went, with her and Luna, food was the epitome of unconditional love.
Luna patted her pockets and came up with two napkins, and in that moment, Willow knew she couldn’t have asked for a better sister of her heart.
They ate, and when the sugar hit Willow’s bloodstream, she sighed.
“Are you okay?” Luna asked softly, like how one might speak to a person holding the detonator to a bomb.
“I don’t know.” She took another bite of the scone. “I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired. And I’ve already used up tomorrow’s tired.”
“I meant the baby. Are you okay about the baby?”
Willow sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall. “I was just going to wait for you to have kids. I was going to be that cool aunt who never settles down, and ruins every family party by drinking too much. And I was okay with that.” She sighed. “This is all Shayne’s fault.”
“Yeah? And who kept dragging him into a closet, bathroom, cabin, wherever?”
Willow jabbed a finger at her. “That’s not the point. The point is that you’re supposed to be on my side.”
Luna came over, sat on the floor too, and hugged her. “Always.”
“How is this even possible?” Willow whispered.
“Well, when the birds and the bees—”
Willow choked out a laugh and dropped her head to Luna’s shoulder. “I can’t be pregnant, Loo.”
“Okay, but you are.”
“I’ve chased my husband away, and we both know the truth—I’ll make a terrible mother, single or otherwise.”
“You’re going to make a great mother.”
“I don’t even know what a good mom looks like.”
“Hey, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Luna said. “You won’t make the same mistakes your mom made. You’re going into it with a clean slate. And personally, I think you’ll make an amazing mom.”
“But what am I going to tell Shayne? We agreed a long time ago—no kids. Now I’ve changed the game on him.”
“There were two people in that closet. And everywhere else you two jumped each other.”
Willow thought of how great Shayne was with his nieces and nephews. “He’s going to be better at being a parent than me.”
Luna choked out a laugh. “How is this a competition?”
Willow pleaded the fifth by taking another bite.
“And we’ve been through much worse than this,” Luna said.
“We have?”
“Okay, maybe not.”
Willow managed a laugh, and Luna smiled at her. “It’s going to be great. You’ll see.”
Willow shook her head. “I’ve got zero idea how to handle myself, much less myself, a job, and a baby.”
“You’re an excellent multitasker.”
Willow gave her a look. “Are you kidding? Ask anyone how I handled being Head-in-Charge.”
“Oh, believe me, I heard.”
Willow thunked her head back against the wall. “This killing them with kindness is taking a lot longer than I thought it would.”
Luna snorted. “I think you forgot to add the kindness part.”
“Yeah, well, it’s the thought that counts.” Willow sighed. “I don’t know how you do it, how you make everyone love you, while also getting them to do what you want them to.”
“Bribery, mostly.” Luna met her gaze. “What can I do to help?”
“Figure out how I’m going to tell Shayne.”
“Tell me what?”
Shayne appeared in the doorway, propping up his tall, leanly muscled, and perfect bod against the jamb like he had all the time in the world. He was in soft, faded jeans and a navy T-shirt, which meant he was off duty, and his eyes were hooded. Her fault.
Willow looked at Luna, feeling completely betrayed. “You texted him.”
Luna rose to her feet. “You might be mad at me now, but I promise you, this is what a best friend does.” She walked out of the bathroom, but then her footsteps stopped, like maybe she would stay to referee in case Willow needed it.
And just like that, Willow felt the ball of emotion clog her throat. Gratitude, because she didn’t deserve Luna. Nerves, because Shayne was silent and watching her in that calm way of his, and she knew she didn’t deserve him either.
But he deserved answers.
She was still sitting on the floor, but now she had two fistfuls of the sticks in her hands. She hadn’t even had a chance to process this, and now she had to tell him that she was carrying his baby in spite of their long-ago promise to each other.
Her husband pushed off the doorway and crouched next to her on the floor before nudging his chin toward the sticks. “Something you want to tell me?”
“I tested positive, but not for Covid.”
He sat at her side and nudged a shoulder to hers, his smile saying that maybe her holding the positive sticks was the best thing he’d ever seen.
“Everything’s terrible and you’re smiling?” she asked in disbelief.
His smile spread and she shook her head. “What’s wrong with you?”
“A lot of things,” he said. “But not this—I’m excited.”
She stared at him. “Are you crazy? You didn’t want kids.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We always said no kids.”
He shook his head. “We maybe said it once, like when we were what, eighteen?”
“And?”
“And . . .” He cupped her face. “I had no idea those words were even still standing between us. I mean, at the time I wasn’t even legally allowed to drink.”
“And yet we did. That very night as I remember.”
He smiled. “True. But I don’t think I should be held accountable for what I said when we were both drunk.”
“What are you saying?” she asked softly. “That you think this is a good idea?”
He took her hand in his big, warm one. “Yes.”
She was boggled. She’d counted on him freaking out too. “But we aren’t even together. What kind of world would I be bringing this baby into?”
“We,” he said. “What kind of world would we be bringing this baby into. We’re in this together, Wills.”
That gave her a flutter, the good kind, which meant she turned to sarcasm to cover her discomfort. “Really? Are ‘we’ going to push a bowling ball out your va-jay-jay?”
“No, but I’ll do everything I can to make it as easy as possible for you.”
She just looked at him, so filled with questions and emotions and feelings that she couldn’t speak. “Why aren’t you freaking out? Why am I the only one?”
He just kept smiling. “Because I love the idea of a baby with you. I hope they have your eyes, your laugh, your sweet, sunny nature.”
She snorted and shook her head, a little stunned to realize his excitement was contagious. “We’re not together,” she whispered again.
“And why is that again?”
Willow opened her mouth to tell him all the reasons why, only none of them seemed to matter in the moment. “Honestly? I have no idea.” She swallowed. “I think I got caught up in a cycle of unhappiness, and I blamed it on you. And Luna.”
“I accept your apology,” Luna said through the door.
Shayne brought Willow’s hand to his mouth so he could kiss her palm, and she dropped her head to his chest. “I’m still mad,” she whispered. “Except when I’m this close to you I forget why.”
Luna’s voice came through the door. “It’s because he hurt your feelings when he didn’t tell you about the job offer before he accepted it.”
“Thanks, Luna,” Shayne said dryly.
“Don’t blame her.” Willow looked at him, into his beautiful face. “She’s right. We need to talk about stuff more. Especially if we’re going to have a . . .” She couldn’t say the word. She literally couldn’t get it out.
And then Luna, knowing her better than anyone, and permanently cementing her BFF status in Willow’s life, said through the door, “. . . a T. rex. You’re having a T. rex.”
Shayne grinned. “I love T. rexes.”
Unbelievably, Willow felt herself smile. “Oh my God. We’re having a T. rex.” Which seemed way less scary than an actual human baby.
Very gently, as if she were made of the finest china, Shayne lifted her off the floor and settled her onto his lap. He ran a finger along her temple, pushing a loose strand of hair off her face. “How do you feel about this? For real.”
“For real? Terrified.” She set her head down on his shoulder and breathed him in. “You know that I have no idea what a happy household looks like.”
“I always thought we had a happy household.”
“We did.” She paused. “At least until I screwed it all up.”
“No,” he said gently. “I’m the one who screwed it all up. Luna’s right. I should’ve come to you about the job offer. I acted on impulse, like I always do. I’m sorry, Willow. So sorry.”
“And it’s not like it didn’t work out,” Luna said through the door. “It brought you back here, to me!”
Being angry took a whole bunch of energy. In fact, it’d taken all her energy, and she was tired of carrying it around with her, letting it invade every corner of her life and every relationship. It was time to let it go and create room in her heart for a new dream. A dream her body had already moved on to. Her hands went to her belly as she let that sink in. She’d been fighting against change, against letting herself be happy, and she wanted to be done with that. “Luna’s right.”
“Of course I am.”
Shayne’s gaze held Willow’s. “Remember our first date?” he asked. “At the last minute you got cold feet, and I had to work my ass off to charm you into changing your mind and giving me a shot. You never even noticed how nervous I was.”
“You were not nervous. You never get nervous. You’ve got nerves of steel. You run into burning buildings for a living.”
Shayne laughed. “I hate to argue with the pregnant lady, but I was incredibly nervous on our first date, and I’m nervous now.”
This surprised her. “Come on.”
“I am. I did this to us. I moved us around to earn more money and move up the ladder faster, but I hate what it did to our relationship. I hate the distance it put between us.” He cupped her face. “I miss you, Wills.” He smiled. “You complete me.”
She snorted. “I don’t know if I could ever complete someone. But driving you batshit crazy sounds doable.”
He grinned, but it faded quickly. “I love you, and I want my best friend back.” He took one of her hands and placed it against his chest so that she could feel his heart racing beneath her palm. Unbearably touched, she did the same for him and they stared at each other.
“Can you ever forgive me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, one hundred percent sure. “If you can forgive me for hiding myself and my feelings from you, when deep down I knew I could trust you with them. With everything. Because I love you too, Shayne. So much. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” She cupped his face. “I want you to come home.”
“Thank God.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “The guys at the firehouse have nicknamed me Goldilocks because I hop beds to whichever one’s empty.”
She found a laugh. “Good thing then that our bed is just right.”
“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” He slid a hand to her still-flat belly. “Our life is perfect.”
This made her snort. “It’s not.”
“It’s perfect for me. I can’t wait to see you become a mom, Wills. You’re going to be so good at it. Our T. rex is lucky to have you.”
Her eyes were leaking again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“It’s the pregnancy hormones,” Luna said through the wood.
“Makes sense,” Willow said. “But why do I get the feeling pregnancy is going to be like a high school group project, where one of us is going to do all the heavy lifting while the other one shows up fifteen minutes late with his coffee and just takes the A?”
Shayne laughed. “But I’ll rub your feet whenever you want.”
“Well, okay then.” Reaching past him, she opened the door for Luna.
Luna waved her phone. “I’ve been googling pregnancy. Apparently you’re going to cry all the time and get horny. Oh, and your boobs are going to hurt.”
Willow winced. “Is there anything good on that list?”
“Didn’t you hear the horny part?” Shayne asked.
Willow gasped.
Shayne smiled. “I know, right?”
“No! I forgot to tell you guys something! Something big! Better Homes & Gardens wants to do a spread on the botanical gardens!”
“Of course they do,” Shayne said. “You’re the best of the best.”
“That’s so great,” Luna said. “I told you that you are amazing. And, not to change the subject or anything, but . . . we’re all okay?”
“Correct.” Willow burped and scrambled off Shayne’s lap. “But you both need to back up, like back way up. Our baby wants to throw up now.”