Elle Woods glanced at the reflections of her bickering sorority sisters Margot and Serena in her vanity mirror. She sat on a pink-skirted stool with faux fur trim that matched the comforter on her bed, where her Chihuahua, Underdog, was comfortably resting.
“At least mine won’t sag!” Serena pointed to her saline-enhanced chest. “My boobs are as perky as the day I put them on my credit card!”
“So what if they’ll never sag,” Margot said, unimpressed. “They’re as hard as rocks.”
“They’re also blocking the only natural light in this room,” Elle whispered to Underdog, who looked up sympathetically. Both Underdog and Elle had heard Serena and Margot’s argument countless times before. Elle refused to get involved, because her father, the trendy Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Wyatt Woods, known among the nip and tuck crowd as “the Best for Breasts,” had done Serena’s work. Anyhow, Elle had a more pressing concern.
“They’re not hard. They’re firm!” Serena said, and stamped her foot. There wasn’t half an inch between Serena and Margot, squared off chest to chest.
Margot’s lips, pouty from last year’s lip injections, were set in a glossy purple smile that matched the Nike swoosh on her little-used cross-trainers. Despite the fact that Margot had undergone enough plastic surgery to be on a frequent-slicer plan, she told Elle that she prided herself on the fact that she had never let a doctor touch her boobs. Clinically, anyway.
“Have you guys totally forgotten? Tonight could be the night!” Elle shouted to get Serena’s and Margot’s attention. “I need to look perfect. I want everything to be exactly right tonight!”
“Of course I didn’t forget,” Serena said, turning her back on Margot. “I even have a Cosmo tip for you. I read that you can totally put someone at ease by matching their body language. The article said that Jennifer did that with Brad and it made it a lot easier for him to pop the question, since he was kind of nervous beforehand.”
“Warner has to propose to you tonight, Elle,” Margot chimed in. “Not only is tonight your third anniversary, but I checked your chart and masterful Saturn has begun a long transit through Taurus. It’s your time to make life-altering decisions.”
Elle appraised her appearance once again in the mirror and decided she needed a bit more blush. Her long blonde hair gleamed and framed her heart-shaped face. Her flawless fair complexion was set off by huge deep blue eyes that shone with kindness, and her size 2 figure was poured perfectly into her red slip-dress.
“In fact, I’m way ahead of you, Elle,” Serena said. “Look what I picked up today!” She held up a copy of In Style Weddings with a shot of J-Lo on the cover.
“Oh my God!” Margot shrieked. “Not that one. Don’t you know anything? J-Lo never should have done that cover! There’s an In Style Weddings curse. Like three of their cover brides, including Courtney Thorne-Smith, were divorced before the issue hit the stand!”
“That’s true,” Elle said, “but that was totally sweet of you, Serena.”
A voice over the sorority house intercom suddenly interrupted them just as Margot pulled out the latest issue of Brides magazine: “Warner’s here, Elle.”
“Keep your fingers crossed!” Elle said to Serena and Margot as she checked her reflection again, still unsure about the dress she had chosen. “Are you sure this is it?” she asked her friends for the fourth time.
“Maybe you should go with pink. It is your signature color,” Serena said. “Ow!” Margot had given her a sharp elbow to the ribs.
Elle stood frozen, suddenly unsure of her choice. Would it be the dress she would want to tell her great-grandchildren about when she regaled them with stories about the night Warner proposed? What if it looked dated and stupid by then?
“No, Elle, that’s it,” Margot said. “I’m positive! Red is the color of confidence and it matches your aura.”
“Well, I don’t want to look like I expect anything.” Elle tucked her smooth golden blonde hair behind her ears, checking that the diamond earrings Warner had given her for her birthday were securely in place.
“He’ll ask. You know it’s coming, Elle,” Serena said, sounding mildly annoyed. “Anyway, Margot’s right. Red is better.”
“Group hug!” Margot announced, and suddenly Elle was sandwiched between the biggest and most expensive boobs in the Delta Gamma house.
Warner stood waiting in the foyer. His tall, blonde, and handsome looks never failed to leave all of Elle’s sorority sisters in a stunned silence. As Elle approached him, he pulled her close to him with one arm while smoothly holding a dozen long-stemmed shell pink roses in the other.
Elle snuggled against him; her smile lit up the room as her delight to be with him radiated from her. She was completely absorbed in the moment. “Mar, will you put these in a vase for me?” she absently asked her friend, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with the rest of the Delta Gamma house, all trying to look casual while inspecting the couple with magnified intensity and not a little envy.
“I’ll do it,” Serena said, stepping in front of Margot and making an obvious show for her sorority sisters of tucking In Style Weddings under her arm before she reached for the flowers. “Warner, you look fantastic. Anything special planned for tonight?”
Warner looked slightly amused by Serena’s comment and gave her a devastating smile.
“Every night with Elle is special,” he said. He gave Elle a smile, and squeezed her hand. “C’mon, Elle. I don’t want to be late.”
As Warner guided her through the Delta Gamma front door, Elle looked back over her shoulder at Serena and Margot, who were giving her a big thumbs-up.