Golden Fox smiled up at Father Sun, spread her arms, and bathed in his warmth for a short span before heading down the steep path. Sister Wind brushed her hair away from her face. When she reached the bottom of the mesa, she realized that she carried her body straighter, and her steps grew more confident as she followed the trail. A wave of happiness washed over her.

It felt as if she had walked away from the life of a giggly, young girl, to take her place fully as a woman among her people. When she reached the foot of the mesa, Blue Spirit Dog wiggled her way. She knelt, ran her hands through Dog’s thick fur, and hugged her around the neck. “You watched over me, eh?”

A deerskin lay on the ground. Grandfather had left her clothes for the sweat lodge. She shed her dress and her footwear, wrapped herself in the skin, and gathered her belongings. The sharp smell of burning wood filled the air. With a deep inhale, she pulled in the scent of pine.

“How did they know when I would come?” She grinned so wide her cheeks hurt. “Grandfather was always near, as he said he would be. I was never alone.”

Arms spread, she twirled around. “I feel stronger. For the first time, I understand about Power. Even the flowers, and the trees, and the grass are brighter.” Joy welled up in her and spilled from her mouth in a laugh.

Blue Spirit Dog trotted ahead of her, past a grove of trees and toward a small sweat lodge.

At the flap, White Elk waited. A wide grin stretched his lips as his eyes twinkled with happiness for her. When Golden Fox drew near, he lit a bundle of Sage and handed it to Dances In Storms, who waited across from him.

The Holy Woman waved the smoke over her body and even on the bottoms of her bare feet. She handed the Sage bundle back to him, then knelt and crawled through the open flap as she asked all her relations and all living to join her during this Sacred Time.

Golden Fox took the Sage from White Elk. In a soft murmur, she asked all her relations and all living to join her during this Sacred Time, while she wafted the smoke over herself. Done, she handed the bundle to White Elk, stopped, and entered the sweat lodge.

Blue Spirit Dog had taken up a position in front of and to one side of the flap.

White Elk closed it from the outside.

The glowing stones in the fire circle in the center of the lodge gave off a muted red light. Golden Fox stopped just inside the flap and looked toward Dances In Storms.

The Holy Woman waved a hand toward the flap. “Always, we entered the sweat lodge from the place of beginning, where Father Sun wakes. The yellow sun painted on the flap honors Father Sun, who is the beginning of each day. I sit here in the direction of purity, and of the cold season of rest, because a Holy Person must purify herself before she can help those who seek her. Because in the sweat lodge, a person must give up her ties to the outside and let her Spirit rest, for she has come inside the womb of the Mother, and will leave a new person.

“In that direction....” She waved toward the place where Father Sun went to rest. “In that direction, we find the end of day as well as the end of life. Those who seek the sweat to bring an end to something—perhaps, to end the life they now lead—sit there, as do those who have traveled the path of their life and prepare to journey to the campfires in the sky.”

Dances In Storms lit the Pipe of Truth. “You, Golden Fox, are young. You have gone on your Vision Quest and returned. You sit in the direction where Father Sun rises and blesses our Peoples with a new day, for you have come to the sweat lodge as a new person.”

As Golden Fox settled with her back to the flap, Dances In Storms smoked the Pipe of Truth, and then passed it to her. This was only the second time she had smoked the pipe. Her hands trembled as she took it and lifted the stem to her lips. Once she pulled in the smoke and released it, every word she spoke inside the sweat lodge would find its way to the Great Mystery on the grey breath of the smoke.

Though being dishonest was not the way of her people, still she would have to judge each word to be certain it held not the slightest taint of dishonesty. Every word must come from her heart, without censor, or she must not speak it at all. Dishonesty after smoking the pipe was always punished by the Spirits. Such punishment came in many ways, and the person would never know when to expect it, only that it would come.

She sucked deep on the pipe and held the smoke inside her, so that it might twine with her Spirit and help her speak only the truth. Slowly, it eased out of her mouth. Only then did she realize that in the shadows at the back of the lodge, Long Sun stroked a soft beat on the drum. A song rose in her chest and burst from her. Dances In Storms’ voice joined with hers.

When the pipe had been smoked and their songs had been sung, silence fell between the women.

Long Sun quietly made his way over to the fire and poured water on the hot embers. The lodge filled with steam, and he returned to his spot away from the fire.

Dances In Storms sprinkled Sage on the hot, moist stones, and waved the sweet-smelling smoke over herself. She nodded to Golden Fox to do the same.

“Tell me of your quest, Golden Fox.” The Holy Woman folded her hands on her crossed legs.

For many heartbeats, Golden Fox talked of Shining Light, the colors she saw in the Spirit Land, the songs she heard, and of how she felt. Finally, she related the story of the water bladder.

Dances In Storms laughed. “I have yet to hear of a full water bladder until after a Vision Quest. Somehow, it is always either dry or has sand in it. As for the colors...” She poured more water on the hot embers. “The Spirit colors show you are never alone. All living is with you in this land and the Spirit Land.”

Tossing another handful of Sage on the stones, she cocked her head. “Tell me what Spirit Guides came to you, and what you learned.”

Golden Fox nodded. “Spider came and wove her web. She reminded me that all living things are part of the web of life. When a strand is broken, all of the web is weakened.”

“What does that mean to you, Golden Fox?”

She considered her words carefully before answering. “We are stronger together, and no one is more important than any other. We all have an important place in the Circle of Life.”

Lips pursed, Dances In Storms nodded. “What else did you learn?”

“Elk came, carrying a baby Fox on his back. He said that stamina and strength lie inside, and that I must use my strength to carry others. I am not sure how I am to do that.” She scrunched her brows together.

“In time, that will be made clear, if you keep your mind open.”

“Holy Woman, Fox said it is my gift to hide in plain sight. How am I to use such a gift?”

A chuckle spilled from the older woman. “Ahh, I am certain you have already used that gift, and will learn more about it as you journey on the Mother.”

“Dances In Storms, Fox came to me and changed into Wolf.” The heat of the embers brought sweat out on her forehead. She brushed it away with the back of her hand and squinted through the dim light. “Fox and Wolf are very different, and many times Wolf will chase Fox away, because they are both hunters and protective of the food they need for their young. How can it be, then, that one changed into the other?”

“All life is interwoven, Golden Fox. Fox and Wolf are not so very different. When you can find the sameness instead of the differentness, you will understand the most important lesson of all. Did Wolf have a message for you, too?”

With a nod, she gazed into the darkness at the back of the lodge, letting her mind return to the time Wolf came to her. “Wolf reminded me that when we belong to a pack, we are stronger, and we are never alone. But, what does it mean that I felt Wolf’s paw on my hand? His paw was real, as real as my own skin.”

Head tilted, Dances In Storms stared deep into Golden Fox’s eyes. “Perhaps, you will have a wolf companion. That Shining Light comes to you makes me believe this might be so.” A smile reached from her lips to her eyes. “We have waited a long, long time for Wolf to join our people once again. It may be that you will bring Wolf back to us.”

Dances In Storms sat up tall, her body speaking of the importance of what she would say. “There is one more thing I must ask, since during your Vision Quest, Elk turned white.”

“I believe I know what you wish to speak of with me, Holy Woman.” Golden Fox flicked a look Long Sun’s way.

Dances In Storms glanced between her helper and Golden Fox. “Do you wish Long Sun to leave?”

She dipped her head, but did not speak.

With a wave of her hand, Dances In Storms motioned toward the flap, and Long Sun silently left. Once the flap closed, she looked at Golden Fox. “What is this you wish to say that you could not say in front of my helper?”

Chewing on her lower lip, Golden Fox wrung her hands together. “When Elk turned white....” Her eyes darted away from the Holy Woman’s.

I must speak the truth inside of me, for I have smoked the pipe, yet I am not sure I wish to speak of this with Dances In Storms.

After many long breaths of silence, Golden Fox gathered her courage.

The Holy Woman would not ask if it was not important. I must answer as truthfully as my heart will allow.

“When Elk turned white, I... I wondered if this meant I should look with favor on White Elk.”

Hands clasped in her lap, the Holy Woman leaned forward. “How do you feel about White Elk?”

“He has been good to me.”

“Is that all that you feel?”

Squirming, she refused to look at the Holy Woman. “I... it is like... like I can feel him—feel his honor and his respect. I could never do that before. Why can I feel this now?”

“Spider came to you. Think about how Spider must live her life—she must be constantly aware of everything around her, for many things see Spider as food. She must know whenever something touches her web, whether they come as food for her or as danger to her and to her web. She gave such a gift to you—to be much more aware of the lives around you.”

“Does being so aware of... of White Elk mean we are to be together?” Shadows danced along the walls of the sweat lodge, dipping and swaying in harmony. How she longed for such harmony in her life.

“What do you think it means, Golden Fox?”

Hands spread, she cried out in frustration. “I do not know, Holy Woman. He... he makes me feel safe, and I do... could maybe... love him, but.... There is something I do not know. I feel it when I am around him.” She raised her head and an ache settled in her chest. “Or, perhaps, I know, but am not willing to see what it is.”

The Holy Woman sat very still, eyes locked with Golden Fox’s for several long breaths. Finally, she dropped her eyes, reached out, and tossed more Sage on the embers. Smoke rose between them, obscuring Dances In Storms. “White Elk will be a part of your future, Golden Fox. Do you choose to let this happen?”

“Do I have a choice, Holy Woman?”

The Holy Woman’s gaze met and held Golden Fox’s as she softly answered. “There is always a choice. Even in those bands that do not allow a woman to choose her mate, there is still a choice for her to make.”

Golden Fox tipped her head to one side and studied the older woman. “How is it with your people? Do they allow men to take more than one woman?”

Her eyes widened and, for a short span, she played with her fingernails. “I will tell you a story that I do not often share.” Her shoulders pulled back and her chin lifted. “My mother came from a band where a young woman has no choice in who will be her mate, or in how many her man may choose. In my father’s travels, he came through the camp where my mother lived with her father. At that time, my father had three extra mustangs with him.

“He only meant to sleep at their camp, and then move on, but my mother’s father needed the mustangs, and offered to trade my mother and her sister for the animals. The next day, my father left the camp with my mother, her sister, one mustang, and the three dogs gifted to them by the people to carry my mother’s and sister’s belongings, and the gifts from their band. If my father had refused my mother and her sister, it would have shamed her sister. My mother’s sister had already seen fifteen winters, and for a man to not look her way would have been bad. She would have been scorned. When they arrived to my father’s band, he set the sister free to choose her own man. At first, she thought she had been thrown away, and she readied to leave, until my mother explained. She stayed in the same lodge, but before three sunrises, she had four suitors to choose from.”

Dances In Storms stared into the fire pit of glowing stones, and laughed. “My mother had a choice, even when she was not allowed to choose. You see... my father set them both free. She refused to leave him. My mother and my father love each other as deep as I hear the salty waters are.” She lifted her gaze. “Do you understand what I mean?”

Eyes darting away, Golden Fox replied in a voice that reflected the feelings battling within her. Head lowered, she pulled the purifying steam and smoke into her face, sat back, and flipped the hair away from her eyes. “I... I am not sure I could make such a choice as your mother made, not really knowing him as she should have.”

“Love comes sometimes at first glance—”

“I... I know you hold a secret, Holy Woman, one you try to keep inside, but I can feel the edges of it like a sharp knife. I... I feel that perhaps White Elk is already spoken for. If he is, I am young, and Blazing Fire tells me I would make a good warrior woman. Maybe it is time for you to share your secret with me, Holy Woman.” She locked her eyes on Dances In Storms and leaned forward, as if to dig until she found the secret hiding behind the other woman’s eyes.

A sharp pain lanced through her head. With her fingertips, she rubbed her forehead.

Dances In Storms’ voice lashed out at her. “Do not seek answers you are not meant to know! When your head hurts bad, as it does now, you will know you have invaded a person’s mind without permission and without need. You are not to use your gift so that your life might be made smooth, like a stone from the river. Gifts are given to us to use for the good of all.”

The older woman reached for the water bladder and sprinkled water over the hot stones, then crumbled three sprigs of Sage on the red embers. “There are things that must happen as they happen, and we are only given the choice of how we will act. Even as a Holy Woman, I must listen to the Spirits, the same as you, Golden Fox. There are futures that I cannot clearly see. I only know this: you will live in the canyons until the leaves are full again, and White Elk will be part of your life. What part, I cannot say.”

“Cannot say, or will not say, Holy Woman?”

“Know this: you will live in the canyons until the leaves are full again. White Elk will be at your side when it is time for you to leave. I, too, will be there. More men will follow, if they are needed. What you are to do is save our people whose Souls barely live.

“Your father is not the bad man you think he is. He lives the life taught to him by his own father, and he knows no other way. This I have learned through a vision. He is part of your future. Remember, you are never alone.

“Know White Elk would give his life to save yours. He has a great love for you, unlike any I have seen. I, too, can feel emotions, woman.

“We must speak of the deep meaning of your vision, if you ask. This will be a hard time for you, girl. You must cleanse your body and mind from worry and fear. Many depend on the child within for much—to bring back joy, to not let the adult take complete hold, and to find answers only a child understands. I ask that you let your child go for now. She will always be part of you when you need her.

“Your grandfather, White Elk, Long Sun, and I will be close by. Stay as long as you need.” She sprinkled more Sage on the stones, and spoke a silent prayer as she leaned over the stones, and left.

***

The darkness in the lodge left Golden Fox emptying her gut and sweating.

People lay wrapped in their death robes because they were unable to fight the pull.

She pulled up her legs, laid her head in shaky hands, then lay on her side clenching her belly.

Heat! So much heat.

She tried to speak to Dances In Storms, to tell her no more hot stones, no more steam.

Where is Dances In Storms?

She shook in someone’s arms while they rocked her. Her body pained and she screamed.

“Too Hot!” Arms tightened around her. “I die!”

“No, woman, you do not die.”

“I do! Please save me... me....”

Fox brushed soft, golden fur against tears on her face. “Come with me. Follow me.”

Golden Fox uncurled from Fox, reached out, and fell silent.

Long, rich, bright yellow and white grasses swayed in the gentle breeze. The grasses rose so tall, they hid Golden Fox and the young foxes who slept curled next to her. Without a thought, she turned sideways, and brushed one of the baby’s fur beside her. Twisting back, her eyes opened up to a deep, dark red sky, with a darker, dripping red sun fighting to turn yellow. She bolted upright.

Young foxes protested her movement and tried to pile closer around her. One called out, and the mother pushed the grasses aside. “You have awakened. Good. Follow me. My young will follow us.”

“Mother Fox, where are we? Why is some of the grass white? And the sky—”

“I cannot tell you why. You chose the colors.”

Faded images of humans wandered across the grasses, some in groups, some alone.

“Do not gawk at the Spirits. They might not like it.”

“But, I know these people!”

“I understand. Allow them to come to you, if it is their desire. Come, we will sit on this white sparkling sandstone at the base of the bright, yellow shrubs on the hillside. Beautiful, is it not? While we wait to see if any Spirits come, my young will play, and we will sit quiet and relax in each other’s Energy.”

“What do you mean, I chose the colors? Is this the Spirit Land? Yes, how silly of me.... Why else would Spirits be here? My pain... it is gone, but how? Why did I feel this pain? Why is not Father Sun—”

“‘You have yet to understand quiet, little one.”

“I am a woman, not a little—”

“Act as one. Be still and think about why the colors are the way they are. You must feel their pain to know it.” Fox swished her thick tail and brought it forward to lick it clean.

“Running Girl!” Golden Fox jumped up to hug her, but her hands passed through her friend.

“Gentle Golden Fox, I feel no pain, nor does my mother. It is my father who wanders. His own mustang kicked him off and stomped him. When he saw us in the Spirit Land, he ran from us into a dark shadow. We could hear many people cry. There must be a way to free them. My grandmother cries out from the shadows!”

Fox spoke out. “Stay in the pure light, Running Girl. Never venture into the shadow. Golden Fox will help your father, and more who seek the light.”