“DAD! DAD! DID you see? Look at this here. It’s so cool!”
Matteo couldn’t help but smile watching Gino bounce from one side of the private plane to the other, pressing his nose against the windows as he looked down into the mountainous range welcoming them to Montana. The wonder filling his son’s eyes made the challenging hours following Gino’s arrival fade into smoke.
“I see, Gino.” He shifted his attention from Gino to Peyton, who had had her head stuck in her laptop since takeoff. “Peyton, did you want to see?”
“Huh?” Her eyes were narrowed behind her glasses when she looked up. With her mussed hair and furrowed brow, she looked like a confused, sexy librarian pulled out of a daydream. He glanced to the window, back to her, and shook his head in amazement when she did the same. Then looked back at her computer. “Yep. Pretty.”
It wasn’t his place, he reminded himself for the tenth time, to pull her out of her work so she could see at least a fraction of the world around them. It wasn’t his place to make sure she took at least more than two seconds to see the vista awaiting them when they landed in twenty minutes. It wasn’t his place to...care.
The cockpit door opened, and a woman with dark, tied-back blond hair and a round face emerged. “Big E’s arranged for a car once you land. We should be touching down soon.”
“Thanks, Donna,” Matteo said as Gino shot back across the cabin and landed on his knees on one of the padded bench seats. Donna and her sister Jody were copiloting the flight, which, much to Matteo’s dismay, had included an endless supply of sodas and snacks and pretty much anything else they could want or need.
“Hey, Gino,” Donna said. “How would you like to sit up in the co-captain’s chair for a little while?”
“Really?” Gino spun and dropped into the seat so fast Matteo was surprised the plane didn’t shake. “Wow. That would be awesome. Dad, can I?”
“If it’s okay with Donna and Jody, sure. Just don’t touch anything. I mean it.” He used the stern tone he knew would get Gino’s attention. “You keep your hands to yourself.”
“Yes, sir.” Gino’s distracted agreement had Matteo crossing his fingers as Donna held out her hand.
“You’re really good with him.” Peyton’s murmured comment was so quiet he wondered if she’d meant to say it out loud.
“Surprised again?”
She shrugged. “I guess. I thought you said you hadn’t seen him in years.”
“Not in person, no.” The truth of that statement dropped like a brick. He looked out the window, losing himself momentarily in the mountains and sky. “I flew out to Japan for his fourth birthday, just after they moved. The trip blew up my savings, but seeing him, being able to spend time with him, made it worth every penny. Ever since then, we’ve talked at least once a week on video chat, and we play online video games together. I get to at least touch base most days.” Resentment he wished he could bank piled up like stones in a wall. “As happy as I am during those times, nothing comes close to seeing him in person again.”
When Peyton didn’t respond, he found himself looking back at her. And saw her watching him, chin in her palm, tears glistening in her eyes.
“What?”
She shook her head, blinked as if embarrassed at having been caught expressing her emotions. He had to admit, her expression caught him off guard.
Ever since he’d met her, he’d thought her one of the coolest, most detached individuals he’d ever met. Not unlike his ex-wife, who had frequently gotten so caught up in her work, she’d forgotten anyone else existed, including her own son. The Peyton avoiding his gaze now was a different person. It made him wonder which woman was the real Peyton Harrison.
“You’re just really good with your son,” she repeated and began shuffling papers. “He likes you. He trusts you. That means, or it will mean, a lot to him when he’s older.”
“I hope so.” He wasn’t about to pry into the depths of the Blackwell family issues. They weren’t any of his business. But Peyton most definitely was his business. At least for the next few weeks. “You were good with him, too. At your apartment.”
She flashed a smile. “I like kids. Always have.”
“But you don’t have any yourself.” The question slipped out of his mouth before he came close to thinking about it. He held up his hands. “Sorry. None of my concern.”
“It’s okay.” She shrugged. “Kids have never been high on my to-do list, I guess. I’ve always been very focused on business.”
“Sure.” Where had he heard this before? Sylvia had always had her eye on something beyond him. Something more important to her than marriage. It was a good reminder of the type of woman he was currently protecting. “Like I said, none of my—”
“I helped raise my sisters,” she said as she powered down her laptop and put her work away. “My dad, he left when I was seven. Just disappeared one day.”
“Thomas Blackwell.” He’d been paying close enough attention to glean a few details. “Big E’s son.”
“The son he apparently didn’t know he had. But that’s not important.”
Wasn’t it? Matteo wasn’t so sure.
“I was the oldest,” she went on. “My mother’s little adult,” she added with a ghost of a smile. “Having five kids under seven wasn’t easy.”
Had Matteo taken a sip of his coffee he’d have spit it out. “Five girls under seven?”
“The middle three are triplets—Lily, Georgie and Amanda. Fiona was born a few months after my dad left. We didn’t have a lot of money, and Mom needed a ton of help. Our neighbors were great, but I—”
“Stepped up to the challenge.” One of the other things he’d noticed about Peyton. She didn’t shirk away from anything resembling a problem. She tackled them like a right or left guard protecting the quarterback, or in this case, her family. “I can’t imagine a seven-year-old taking care of babies.”
“One baby. Three toddlers.” Funnily enough, he didn’t see a trace of resentment on her face when she talked about her sisters. But he did see affection. Love. And the faintest hint of longing. “When our mom met and married Rudy, well, everything changed. For the better. Mostly.”
“Rudy’s your stepfather.”
“Retired Navy Admiral Rudy Harrison.”
Matteo had no doubt his eyes had gotten as big as his son’s. “You’re kidding me.”
“You know him?”
“I know of him. He was, is, one of the good ones. The really good ones,” he added. “I’ve watched some of his commencement addresses from naval graduations. He helped solidify my faith in the service. Reminded me of the honor serving our country is and that I should never, ever take it for granted.” Matteo tried not to dwell too much on the past, but there were days—like that day, like the day his son had been born—that left an indelible impression.
“That sounds like Rudy,” Peyton said with a soft smile. “He’s a good man. An understanding one. And he took amazing care of us and our mom.” She hesitated. “She died last year.”
“I’m sorry.” Matteo meant it. “That must have been rough.”
“It was. No rougher for any other family that has to deal with. We weren’t as close as I think she’d have liked for us to be.”
“Because of Thomas?”
“Yes.” There was the closed-off Peyton he knew.
Clearly he’d prodded a little too deeply. “I might not have a lot of experience with family dynamics and relationships, but I’d be happy to listen if you want an objective ear.” The plane dipped and angled around, pushing the mountains out of sight.
Her smile was quick and didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks. I’m good. Feels like we’re circling for landing.”
“Guess so. I’d better go remove Gino from the copilot’s chair. Buckle up.”
PEYTON WAITED UNTIL Matteo was out of sight before she removed her glasses and pushed her fingers into her eyes so hard she saw stars. How did a simple conversation with a practical stranger churn up emotions she’d kept at bay for most of her thirty-plus years?
It wasn’t the conversation, she told herself as she swallowed around her too-tight throat and focused on getting her stuff put back into her case. It was watching Matteo out of the corner of her eye for most of the flight—watching him watch Gino with such obvious joy and pride—that made her heart ache.
Did Thomas Blackwell ever long for the daughters he’d left behind? Had he ever thought about them once he was gone? Tried to see them? Wanted to? There was a time, not so long ago, when Peyton would have given anything to see pride in her biological father’s eyes. To know that he was proud not necessarily of what she’d accomplished in her career but of how she’d turned out. Despite of him. Maybe in spite of him.
Sometimes she wished she didn’t remember Thomas at all. It would have been better for everyone, certainly easier for Rudy and her mother. She loved Rudy, but despite trying to forgive Susan for the secrets she’d kept, Peyton couldn’t withstand the resentment that had built toward her mother. Eventually, the pressure of keeping her promise had driven Peyton away from the family. And made the fallout from Peyton’s secret equal a nuclear winter.
“Should just be another few minutes.” Matteo returned, Gino a few steps in front of him, and they strapped back in, this time with Gino at the window.
“How was the cockpit?” she asked Gino after having to clear her throat a few times.
“Uh-may-zing! I want to be a pilot like Jody when I grow up. Can I do that, Dad?” Gino looked down as Matteo tightened his son’s belt.
“You can do anything you want to, G.”
“Cool.”
“Matteo?” Peyton couldn’t help herself. She kept her voice low, reached over and brushed her fingers over the back of his hand when he took hold of his coffee. “Don’t you ever stop being his dad. Whatever else happens, whatever you have to do, don’t you ever walk away.”
She saw the flare of temper, as if she’d offended him with a deeper, unspoken accusation. But the fire faded when he looked down at their hands touching. With a short nod, he covered her hand with his and squeezed. “I won’t.”
“ARE WE THERE YET?” Gino’s dramatic whine from the back seat reminded Matteo so much of his ex-wife that he found himself gnashing his teeth. “We’ve been in this car forever.”
Matteo glanced at the GPS. They’d passed through Falcon Creek, Montana, a little over twenty minutes before—one of those blink-and-miss-it towns that, despite its size, appeared to display more charm and entertainment value than Matteo honestly expected. It would be worth a trip back to check out the local businesses, maybe find someone who could keep an eye out for strangers, although there would probably be plenty of them. “We should be there soon, G. I bet we’re going to be seeing some cattle and horses, so keep your eyes open.”
Under his breath, Gino muttered something Matteo probably wouldn’t have been thrilled to hear, but he let it pass. The kid was overwhelmed, hungry and tired, and more than a touch cranky. He glanced to the passenger seat, where Peyton was tapping on her phone, eyes scanning constantly over whatever was displayed. Given how she was twisting her mouth, Gino wasn’t the only one who could probably do with a time-out.
According to his information, they weren’t too far away from Blackwell property. He’d spent the better part of the drive ignoring the dread and unwanted memories of an upbringing he’d struggled so hard to leave behind. It was strange, he thought, as he cast his weary gaze over the expanding sky around them, how it was more beautiful than he’d realized. The second he’d heard Big E talk about the Blackwell Ranch, he had visions of dry, parched earth and air so thick with dust he could barely breathe. Now, driving down the road toward Peyton’s grandfather’s homestead, it was like heading directly into a Technicolor world.
Pastures and skies dotted with trees and clouds like someone had plunked down those extra little details that made an already-lush landscape feel more like paradise.
Paradise. Matteo nearly laughed at the description. He’d learned early on that appearances were deceiving. It didn’t matter how perfect a place appeared to be, there was always a form of darkness lurking just beneath the facade.
“Aw, man. My battery died.” Gino groaned in that put-upon way children had before they went ballistic. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Peyton glanced back. “Right there with you, pal.” She jiggled the charging cable she’d plugged into her phone and the car the second she’d closed the door. “My reception just completely disappeared.”
Feeling his own patience begin to fray, Matteo pulled over to the side of the road.
“What’s going on?” Peyton twisted in her seat. “Is there something wrong with the car?”
“No. There’s something wrong with my passengers.” He shoved open his door, walked around and opened both Peyton’s and Gino’s. “Out. Both of you. Leave those.” He grabbed Peyton’s phone and Gino’s handheld gaming device and tossed them back in the car.
“I don’t have to pee,” Gino said, the confusion on his face evident as he slid out.
“This isn’t a pee break,” Matteo said when Peyton looked about to respond. “This is a get your heads out of your devices and look where we are break.” He motioned for them to follow. The wire-fence line wasn’t exactly welcoming, but he didn’t need it to be.
Peyton started coughing, her impractical heels almost slipping in the gravel and dirt. “What do I smell?”
“Fresh air.” Matteo stopped, lifted his head up to the sun and smiled against the rays beating against his skin. “Grass. Maybe a touch of manure. Best get used to all of it.”
“Smells like air to me,” Gino grumbled. “Can’t we just get to wherever we’re going, Dad?”
Matteo looked at his seriously cross son and felt his own irritation bubble to the surface. Not at Gino, but at Sylvia, who clearly hadn’t done much to show their son how important it was for him to look up once in a while and see the world.
He checked his attitude, giving himself a mental shake. He had to stop blaming Sylvia for whatever shortcomings Gino had. As he was fond of reminding his ex, Gino was just a little boy still figuring out how to maneuver through a world of confusing emotions. Having parents who lived halfway around the world from each other didn’t make it any easier.
“Come here, G.” Matteo held out his hand, and almost felt relief when Gino did as he was told. Matteo hoisted him into his arms, hitched him against his hip and turned in a slow circle. “Tell me what you see.”
“I don’t see nothing.”
“Then you aren’t looking hard enough.” For the past few days, Matteo had been dreading this trip, the idea of being out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but land and sky and open spaces to get lost in. When he’d been Gino’s age, the world had been terrifyingly huge and unwelcoming. Stifling. “I see a sky that doesn’t end. It just goes for as far as you can possibly see. And those clouds racing past? Where are they going?” He pointed to one that reminded him of a wild mustang riding across the land. “I see acres of lush green grass that just begs me to run through it, to see how thick it is, how high it goes. And I see hours spent having fun beneath a full sun or even a full moon.”
“I guess I see that.” Gino squinted and leaned forward, nearly falling out of Matteo’s hold. “I’m not sure that sounds like fun, though.”
“You can choose to make anything fun, G. That’s what I’m asking you to do. Stop complaining so much. Stop and look around and see what possibilities there are. Can you promise me you’ll try to do that while we’re here?”
He wasn’t talking only to Gino now. He’d glanced over his shoulder to where Peyton stood, stone still, arms wrapped around her torso, razor-sharp hair blowing in the gentle wind. She looked like some kind of outcast, plucked out of one world and dropped into another, one she wasn’t entirely convinced would ever accept her.
It was that uncertainty he saw shimmering in her eyes that made him realize her discomfort was about more than being ordered into hiding; it was about facing a family and secrets and changes that scared her.
“You can’t look out at that sky and not feel powerful,” Matteo said as he carried Gino back toward the car. “We’re here. And while Big E is always touting the importance of family and connections, there’s something else you might be connected to, Peyton. You come from this land. Your father came from this land. It’s in your blood. And I’m betting you can feel that already.”
“I wouldn’t wager too high on that, if I was you.” Still, she offered a weak smile and reached a hand out to Gino’s hair, then seemed to think better of it and tucked back into herself. “You’re right, though. Sky like this deserves to be seen. I’ll try to remember that.”
“Then this was worth the stop.” He lowered Gino to the ground, then helped him up and into the SUV. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road. Blackwell Ranch, here we come.”