| |
––––––––
IT WASN’T, IN FACT, a good night. I couldn’t sleep. The tea warmed me up significantly, and by the time I got back to my room I was nice and sleepy. But the prince’s smile replayed over and over again in my head, and so did the heart palpitations.
He’s so much more handsome up close.
I mentally kick myself out of frustration and exhaustion.
Come on Zemira, this isn’t a fairy tale. Prince Kuruk was just being a gracious host.
But I still couldn’t help the smile that pulled at my face. I’ve never been close to a man before. Courtship isn’t allowed for dwarf queens because of the unfair advantage of possibly having a mate that’s more powerful than the others, despite you yourself not being the best candidate as queen. It’s important for the subjects of Hivena to have a powerful and sound queen, since that’s who trains the next brood of dwarf queens and makes decisions for the queendom. Of course that didn’t stop my sisters from having their flings and flirting. For one of my sisters, it cost her and her partner's life.
I swallow hard, trying not to remember the day the guards dragged off Kasim and The People killed my sister.
Not only is connecting with a partner already hard and terrifying enough, growing up with the thought that you’d be punished if you do makes it almost paralyzing.
I let the image of Prince Kuruk’s smile sweep into my mind again and my stomach warms.
A girl can still dream though can’t she?
At least I’m not a royal in this place. Here, I’m just a regular young woman who’s a part of the Lost Souls troupe. Not a dwarf queen of Hivena.
“Ugh, enough Zemira.” I growl at myself, burying my warm face into the covers. Our work here is not over. We still have many days and performances to get through. I don’t want to risk being the weak link from exhaustion. It’s my time to prove to the Lost Souls, and the Ringmaster, that I belong here with them.
After a few measly hours of sleep, I wake up to the birth celebration of Prince Kuruk in full swing, and even more grand than the first night.
I didn’t even know that was possible!
More nobles and guests from far away places have come to Zaphyre to celebrate the prince. I’ve heard in the past that King Raphael was well respected, but I didn't know his connections extended so far and wide. It just shows you how truly in the dark and disconnected from the rest of the world Queen Mother and the court of Hivena kept us.
“Are you ready, Zemi?” Scirocco asks, snapping me out of my thoughts and back into the intimate dining room
“Oh, yes.” I get up and attempt to clean my area, but my hand is swatted away by a few grumpy and insistent servants.
We had breakfast in our own dining area, away from the other guests, which I greatly appreciate. I’m sure if we were with them they would’ve been hounding us to show them table tricks instead of letting us enjoy our breakfast in peace. The grand birthday brunch isn’t until tomorrow, so we have time all morning to practice before we get back into casually entertaining the guests in the castle.
The Lost Souls will be performing many routines all week, along with a few other invited entertainers, but I was only able to learn and practice a couple in such a short time before we arrived. It does leave me a little bummed that I won’t be able to be with everyone for every performance, but it also gives me an opportunity to observe from the ground.
Once practice comes to a close at midday, I watch the Lost Souls from the crowd during the prince’s luncheon. Rowan watches with me, which makes me feel a little better about not being able to participate. He is the captain after all, and even he doesn’t perform in every show.
The lights dim and a spotlight is cast on the performers as the aerialists plume from the ceiling, with long strips of colorful fabrics trailing after them in a fantastic display. The guests gasp at the sudden stunt and change in atmosphere, turning their gaze from their food to cheer ecstatically. The aerialists extend their arms out and circle above the crowd like a human merry go round.
They look amazing!
Sol does a fantastic job on the ground beneath them in her reflective suit. She creates colorful light that emanates from her hands and reflects off the dancers sparkly leotards before bouncing around the room.
I smile to myself, feeling like a child again laying eyes on the Lost Souls for the first time. This routine is stunning. Although it’s one of the first routines I wanted to learn because of how opulent it is, it was too complex for me to get in such a short time.
My smile falters a little as their movements make me hyper aware of the stillness of my body. I attempted to do this routine with them in practice, in a last ditch effort to get it before the show, but it's a dangerous stunt, and I don’t have the power of self healing or agility like the other aerial dancers to fall back on if something goes awry. It would take such a long time to be able to do what they can do in this routine. The flexibility is inhumane.
Rowan bumps my shoulder and I look down at him out of the corner of my eye.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be back up there soon.” My cheeks burn.
“Oh no, I was just...admiring.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to hide it. That’s the nature of a Lost Soul. Our magic itches beneath our skin, begging to be used and seen. There’s nothing wrong with your desire to join the others.” A bashful smile comes to my lips.
“But I don't have any magic.” I remind him under my breath. Rowan glares at the side of my head for so long I almost wished I could suck the words back out of the air. I turn to look at him in hopes that he’d stop, but unfortunately for me, Rowan is the type of man who has no shame. His intense hazel eyes sear into mine and an uncomfortable spark lights in my chest.
“The best kept secret of all time Zemi, is that we all have magic within us. Everyone.” He seems so convinced by his words that I can’t help but nod in agreement.
We turn back to the troupe and I feel lighter and less guilty about feeling a little sad that I wasn't able to lock down the routine in time to join.
The troupe looks spectacular up there. I cheer and clap along with the crowd and look towards the royal family to see if they’re also enjoying the show. The king and queen clap in merriment, which is always a good sign. My gaze unintentionally drifts towards Prince Kuruk and his eyes lock right onto mine. My heart jumps in my chest at the sudden contact.
He gives me a slow smile and nods his head. I smile and bow in return. He turns his attention back to the performance and I force myself to do the same, telling myself that whatever I do, do not look back over there. I don’t want him to think that I’m a creep for staring.
When the performance is over, and the Lost Souls receive their standing ovation, the nobles enjoy other great entertainers and the Lost Souls retire back to our quarters.
“That was amazing!” Jabari beams. He looks brilliant in his black and red tunic. Him and Jubilee were really in sync during their segment. I don’t think I’ve ever seen their fire burn so bright and have so much control.
“Yes, one of our best performances yet!” Pierre billows. Veronica turns to Rowan with excitement.
“Now that our performances are done for the day, let's hit the town to celebrate!” Sol gasps and nods in agreement.
“Yes, there's a shop in town I’ve been dying to visit! Please Rowan, please!” Everyone looks at Rowan in anticipation and he rolls his eyes and nods.
“Fine, we can head out into the town, but remember the birthday brunch performance is first thing in the morning. I don’t want to hear that anyone hasn’t gotten enough sleep or had too much to drink to perform. Got it?” Our group jumps in excitement.
“Sir yes Sir!” Pierre salutes and marches out of the room to go change. Everyone else follows suit and go to their respective rooms to change out of their costumes.
We nod to the guards as we exit the castle grounds and walk across the bridge to explore more of the city. The night air feels refreshing as we merge with the people merrily walking the streets, stopping at stands and having a good time.
We stop at the different games and food stands, competitively trying to win prizes while munching on street snacks to our hearts content. Dante huffs after losing a flag game to a little girl in a purple dress.
“I need a drink.” He pouts. Pierre laughs and bolsters.
“I know where we should go.” Minutes later we’re ambling up to a building with the sign ‘Pink Lantern Pub’ written out front. Warm light, and the laughter and chatter of the patrons, spill out from the open door and windows. It’s packed.
“I definitely need a drink after today’s performance.” Jubilee says, skipping ahead. The others follow suit and I stare into the window of the pub nervously. I’ve only heard horrible things about the people who enter places like this. Queen Mother would always say it isn’t a place for a lady, and any time we passed one while out in Hivena, she’d snub her nose at it and mutter about the subjects inside being filthy animals.
“Come on Zemi!” Scirocco and Sol beam as they grab my arms and pull me towards the entrance with the others. I wasn’t sure what to expect. The tension in my shoulders didn’t entirely go away as we entered the fray of cheery people, but it was surprisingly much more warm and welcoming then I thought it’d be.
People of all kinds talk around heavy wooden tables and over at the bar. They laugh jovially over huge mugs of ale and food.
“Come on.” Scirocco wraps her arm around mine so we don’t get separated as she squeezes through the packed people to follow our group. I reach back and grab Sol to do the same. Jabari and Rowan find us a table and we huddle around it in a fit of giggles and laughter.
“Next time, I’m setting the whole stand on fire.” Jubilee growls as we laugh at her pain of losing the ring toss game in the market to Emitt.
“It’s all in the gentleness of the wrist.” He teases, earning a dirty look from Jubilee.
“Oh yeah? Well how about I fix that for you.” She lifts her hands and flames spark at her fingertips, trailing from one finger to the next. She laughs playfully at the horrid look Emitt has on his face when a cup of ale goes sailing across the room and splashes on her, soaking our table.
We stand, shocked, and look over at the table to the person who did it. A hunched over middle aged man with a black hat, and his companions, glare at us with dirty looks.
“Hey, watch it!” Jabari shouts at him, grabbing napkins for Jubilee.
“We don’t do that sickness here.” Our table goes dead silent, and I look from Jabari to Scirocco.
Sickness?
“If you want to do that demonic work to entertain the nobles with twisted taste, that’s fine, but you don’t do that here.” My stomach drops at his words as the entire pub goes silent and stare in our direction.
I can see Jubilee balling her fists out the corner of my eye. Fire blazes in her eyes and Jabari has to hold her wrist tight, his own jaw clenching at the man.
“Can I help you good sir?” Rowan rushes over from the bar with a smile. “We're just out to have a nice drink and enjoy ourselves. No need to squabble.”
“Well, so are the rest of us!” The man gruffs. “Your kind shouldn't be doing things like that here. Those unnatural things.”
“Of course sir.” Rowan smiles charmingly. “We’re not trying to cause any harm. My friend here just got carried away. You don't have to worry about us.” The man looks from Rowan, disarmed by his charm, to the rest of our silent table.
“Just keep your ways to yourself. We may not be the classiest bunch like the fancy nobles, but we aren’t so low that we’d subject ourselves to magic wielders.” I look from the man to the other patrons around the pub, stunned at their silence. Some have the decency to look a little ashamed by the man's behavior, while others look on without a care.
The man turns away and the pub slowly resumes talking. We all look at each other nervously and slowly sit back down at our table.
No one’s going to speak up? That was barbaric!
My blood boils over.
“He can’t do that!” I burst out. Scirocco grabs my arm.
“Zemi–”
“No one’s gonna do something? He can’t just–”
“Zemi. Enough. It isn’t like that for us.” I stare at Rowan and the others, a warm wash running over me. “Just look around.”
I look around at all of the patrons who’ve gone back to minding their business.
“No one’s going to be on our side if we cause a scene, and no one’s going to jump in to help if those gentlemen decide to get rough. And if they somehow got hurt, who do you think will be the one’s to blame?” Angry tears burn in my eyes. Then he takes on a gentler tone. “That was actually pretty tame compared to what we’ve experienced in other places as open magic users.”
“Yeah. It’s upsetting, but don’t worry Zemi. Many of us have come from much worse.” Sol smiles at me sweetly trying to offer me comfort, but it only makes it worse. How could someone treat someone as sweet and kind as Sol horribly. How could anyone treat them so horribly?!
Shame and guilt burn my cheeks as I realize just how uneducated I’ve been about the Lost Souls and magic users all together. I’ve always wanted to be like them. I’ve romanticized them and what they can do. I was aware of magic user’s treatment, but I’ve completely ignored the realities they must face on a daily basis when they aren’t on stage and being showered with applause.
I look down at my hands embarrassed. I have no right to criticize anyone over this matter. There was a time where I participated in their discrimination. I was just as silent as the subjects were in this pub when I lived in Hivena.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way right. They can fight back! I’ve seen how powerful their magic is. This doesn’t mean they have to sit back and do nothing!
We finish the rest of our drinks silently, our table trying to make ourselves as small as possible, then we make our way back to the castle.
I don’t know what would have happened if Rowan hadn't diffused the situation. Even though my friends' spirit’s lift back up and they chat away as we walk back through the lively streets as if nothing happened, I still feel uneasy and on edge.
I feel angry, ashamed, and sorrowful all at the same time. I’ve spent most of my life being quiet in the face of wrongdoing. Turning a blind eye to people's pain and mistreatment. I hate the person I once was, and I’m scared I won’t have the strength to change, but I can’t bear the thought of continuing to live my life the same way.
