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“HEY, LOOK OVER THERE.” Veronica nods excitedly towards the entrance of the tent where three new faces are looking around in wonder as Jabari shows them around.
I smile to myself.
More and more magic users have been showing up by the day. No one’s sure how they’re finding us or what’s leading them here, but it’s exciting to see more magic users come under the protection of the Lost Souls.
The ones that have shown up over the past couple of weeks have already made themselves at home and are acclimating well. Some were given safe passage to another troupe in a different domain that has room for them.
Some of the stories I hear from the newcomers and where they came from squeezes my heart. At first the pain from being reminded of the visions the Ringmaster showed me was too much, but I knew trying to pretend like everything was okay and remaining ignorant to the lives of magic users would be counterproductive to what I actually wanted to accomplish. And that’s helping them.
I committed myself to sitting and listening to each one of their stories to gain a better understanding of them, of their long standing relationship to the rest of the world, and of myself.
During lunch in the den and kitchen, Rowan comes out with a bag full of mail and packages propped over his shoulder.
“Mails here!” He calls. A bubble of excitement ripples throughout the room as everyone eagerly turns to see if they have any packages or letters from loved ones they still keep in touch with, or special job opportunities vetted through Rowan and Jabari for safety.
I smile as he passes the mail out to a couple of excited people, then he passes a letter to me. I look down at it surprised.
Is it another letter from Malala?
I curiously take it and flip the letter over in my hands. The royal seal of Zaphyre glints back up at me.
“Oooohhh.” Sol giggles over my shoulder. I jump.
Where the heck did she come from?!
“Zemira’s got a secret admirer.” Scirocco echoes and a blush creeps into my cheeks. Rowan gestures to Dante and they bring out another giant bag.
“Oh, the Prince of Zaphyre has also sent us gifts, courtesy of our very own Zemi.”
The others gasp in excitement and awe as Rowan and Emitt pull out jars and loaves of goods and preserves, baskets of fresh fruit, fabrics, and valuables.
Why would he send all of this?
While the others fawn over the gifts I take out the letter and scan the contents. It’s indeed from Prince Kuruk himself. A few more salacious and flirty comments float my way as they dig into the gifts and I excuse myself, embarrassed.
“Leave her alone.” Scirocco scolds everyone as I close the front door behind me.
I wave to some people having their lunch by the firepit and a couple walking by before sitting on the porch and unfolding my letter.
Dear Zemira,
I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to sincerely apologize for how you and the Lost Souls were treated during my birthday celebration in the kingdom of Farrah. It was never my intention for any of you to be treated in such a manner.
I realize I should have been more assertive. Telling everyone to stop and return back to the party was not enough in handling a situation like that, so I am personally seeing to it that Duke Herrington, along with the other nobles that night, are being dealt with properly and face the consequences of their careless actions.
It’s intolerable for anyone to make any esteemed guests of mine feel uncomfortable and discriminated against. Something of that nature will never happen again under my care, and I hope that you and the Lost Souls can forgive me for my mishandling.
Sincerely,
Prince Kuruk of the Zaphyre Kingdom
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A SMILE PULLS AT MY lips and a warming sensation blooms through my stomach.
It takes a lot for any noble, especially a royal, to apologize and take accountability for something. Especially if the transgression wasn’t even their fault. I really appreciate his words and for caring so much. It puts my heart at ease. But I should also apologize for my coldness after visiting the palace gardens of Farrah with Princess Mayvie. The mistreatment of magic users that I’ve been witnessing since I left Hivena was not Prince Kuruk’s fault, and I shouldn’t have taken my frustrations out on him by making him feel that we weren’t friends.
I head back inside, pass the troupe still gushing over the goodies sent from Zaphyre, and grab a pen and some paper before plopping back on the porch.
I write back, forgiving him and thanking him for the gifts he sent. He didn’t have to do so much, but I appreciate his form of making it right.
With each word I feel the comfortability between us returning, even from miles away.
I tell him that I’ll be leaving in a few days time to go to another dominion to perform, and we’ll be gone for a while. I’m really excited to go to a new place with different people and perform my new routines. I also tell him not to worry about what happened at his birthday celebration. It was a learning experience for me too in understanding that I don’t have all the answers either. Not everything is black and white and my actions aren’t alway “correct”.
I thank him again for the gifts and for thinking about us, and seal the letter away in an envelope.
I didn’t realize Prince Kuruk felt that guilty about what happened. That explains all the gifts. He was probably worried that the Lost Souls may never want to perform for them again because of what happened. Hopefully this letter will put his mind at ease and he can rest more peacefully knowing the Lost Souls don’t hold anything against the kingdom of Zaphyre.
I head back inside. Everyone better enjoy the gifts while they can. That may be the last they see any until we perform in Zaphyre again.
I give the letter to Rowan to send when he has the chance and slip out to get back to practicing my routines, and get away from the smirks and playful smiles everyone keeps throwing my way. By now, Sol, Jubilee, and Scirocco have let it slip all over the camp that I went on a night stroll with the prince while we were in Zaphyre. I don’t know what everyone thinks is going on, but it’s annoying.
I suppose for a commoner this would all seem very exciting, having some favor of a royal. Many of the magic users that have just arrived have never seen so much food and luxuries in one sitting before, let alone be the receiver of gifts from a prince.
I’m glad they’re all enjoying it. I chuckle to myself and try to rid my mind of all of their teasing comments about Prince Kuruk and I. Even at my expense.
*****
“ZEMIRA!”
“Zemi!”
The familiar voices of my sisters send me into a panic. I look around in the dark, but I can’t see them. I can’t see anything.
“Zemi help!”
“Malala needs help!” Their screams fill me with dread as I fight to find my way out.
What’s happening?! What’s going on?!
A set of lips press right up against my ear and Reyna’s voice fills my head.
“You aren’t done with us yet, sister.”
I gasp awake in a sweat and look around the room for my sisters. My eyes frantically search every corner, but they aren’t there.
I take a deep breath and look around the room I share with Scirocco, Sol, and Jubilee in the Lost Souls cabin, worried that I made too much noise. Jubilee shifts in her bed across the room but doesn’t stir, and Sol and Scirocco don’t move at all. I try to ground myself and slow my heartbeat.
What was that about? I haven’t had a nightmare about my sisters since talking to Malala. Are they still angry with me?
I push off my covers and slip out of bed. The cool floor under the soles of my feet calms me and helps to ease away the dread from the dream with each step I take.
I need something to drink to calm my nerves.
I pad into the kitchen and spot Rowan sitting at the counter again.
“Well, if it isn’t my insomniac buddy.” He smirks when he notices me. I shake my head and have a seat next to him on the stool. “So, why can’t you sleep tonight?” I shrug my shoulders.
“I had a bad dream.” He pats my shoulder sympathetically, then whispers.
“I know where Pierre stores his fancy hot chocolate. I’ll make us some.” He gets up from the counter and opens one of the cabinets to rummage out a tin hidden behind some pots and pans and grabs two mugs. This is starting to become a bit of a ritual for us.
“If you need a listening ear, I’m here to talk.” I feel touched by his statement, and as he sets a steaming mug in front of me and takes a seat with his own, I feel more calm.
I blow on my beverage and take a sip. Wow, this really is some good hot chocolate. I wonder if Pierre smuggles it from his home country.
I look at Rowan as he takes a sip from his mug.
“You know, you’re really good at taking care of people.” He chuckles and looks at me with a cheeky smile.
“It’s my job.” I shake my head with a chuckle. Come to think of it, him and Scirocco are good at taking care of people.
“I’m serious Rowan. If it weren’t for you and Scirocco, I don’t know where I'd be. Especially Scirocco. She saved my life.”
He stares off into space with his mug and smiles lightly.
“Yeah, Scirocco’s a good person.” I fidget with my mug.
“Has she always been that way?” He looks at me curiously. “I’ve just been wondering...I never really asked Scirocco why she helped me so much. We wee just pen pals with an interest in each other's lives. I was so grateful at just having her as a friend and having her help me that I haven’t even realized I never asked why she did.”
Rowan nods his head in understanding, then takes a sip from his mug.
“To answer your question. Yes. She’s always been this way. Atleast ever since I’ve known her. Her and Jabari were helpful from the start and have since helped me to keep the Lost SOuls up and running. Scirocco always wanted a family. She had one when she was younger, they were all magic users, and they all died. Some nobles came to their house in the middle of the night and set it on fire. Her older sibling got her out of the house and took her to a neighbors and went back for their parents...but he didn’t make it out. That just left her.”
I swallow hard, holding back tears.
“I think she had a hard time forgiving herself for not being able to do anything back then. Survivors often blame themselves for being the ones to survive and often feel like they have to make up for it. I think when she connected with you Zemira, she valued your friendship and didn’t want to leave you alone. She often wants to be the support that no one was for her. That trait alone makes her an incredible friend.”
I wipe the tears that slipped from my eyes on my sleeves and try to wash away the emotions with my drink. I’ve been so consumed in everything that’s been going on in my life, I didn’t even take a moment to stop and really take a look at Scirocco. I didn’t ask her about her past or how she’s been with everything going on...none of it. She’s just been right there, helping me every step of the way.
My guardian angel.
I rake my hand through my scalp and mentally chastise myself for being a shitty friend. I promise myself to check in on Scirocco and be more present with her.
Then it dawns on me.
“What about you? Why are you having trouble sleeping?” I ask, taking another long sip of my hot chocolate. Rowan goes quiet for a moment.
“Ah...I think I’d rather not say.” His voice has a serious note I’ve never heard him express before, so I don’t press him. I don’t want him to feel pressured to share anything he isn’t ready to share. I just nod and continue to drink my hot chocolate in silence until it’s all gone.
The silence isn’t unpleasant like you’d think it would be. It was the type of silence you feel when you just want to be alone with your thoughts with the company of a friend. I like that I don’t always have to express my grievances aloud with Rowan. It reminds me of the dynamic I had with my sisters. I’m happy that sometimes we can just be, in whatever mood we’re in.
Rowan finishes his mug and grabs mine, placing them both in the sink.
“Are you gonna be okay Zemi?” I nod and squeeze my arm.
“Yeah, you?” He nods back. But before walking away he perks up.
“Oh, and do you happen to have another letter you’d like to send to your sister?”
My sister?
I give him a questioning look and he clears his throat nervously. I can’t help but smirk at the look on his face.
“No...why?”
“Oh no reason...just, whenever you need me to deliver a letter to your sister...or anything for that matter...to your sister, I’d be happy to...any time.” Now I really can’t help the chuckle that escapes my lips.
“Sure, Rowan.” He smiles.
“Okay, good.” He saunters away and I can't help to think how Rowan comes off as a sly ladies man. Like the kind that used to flirt with Suri at royal parties, but I’m not worried. Malala’s not really a romantic and isn’t woo’d very easily. If he acts up she’d eat him alive.
I slide off the stool and head back to bed feeling a bit better, but I still can’t manage to get rid of the sinking and guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I crawl back into bed.
The memories of that night come seeping back to me. The sounds of their haunting shouts and screams drifting through the halls echo in my ears as I turn over and cry silently in my pillow for the rest of the night.
*****
IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER before morning comes and I sleepily make up my bed and head to breakfast with everyone else. While I'm fixing my plate, Rowan slips me a letter.
“Maybe this will cheer you up.” I look at him confused. It isn’t the usual time that he brings out the mail. I flip the letter over to see the royal seal of Zaphyre on it.
Did he forget to tell me something?
I set down my breakfast to open it and a fresh scent wafts out from a pressed flower delicately placed within the folds of the paper.
Dear Zemira,
That sounds exciting. Please tell me more! I’d love to hear about your routine you’re working on and the land you're traveling off to. How long will you be gone? I’d love to see you when you get back.
P.S. I saw this striking blue flower in my grandmother's garden and it reminded me of you. I’d like you to have it as a good luck charm on your travels.
My eyes scan the letter over and over again and my heart flutters as a smile blooms on my face.
