In move number five, we talked about walking in your customers’ shoes. This was about understanding what your market and customers value from a product-solution viewpoint. But as a black belt marketer, you know that you are dealing with human beings, and as such you need to understand how they buy. All buyers want to be heard and understood, and this means that you have to master a skill called empathy, which is the ability to understand and relate to others at a psychological level.
Some people call the ability to connect with anyone at anytime and in any place, people skills. To connect with prospects, suspects, customers, and employees you need only do one thing: be empathetic.
Empathy, as quoted in Webster’s English Dictionary, is “One’s ability to recognize, perceive, and directly experientially feel the emotion of another.”
Empathy respects the feelings of others. Whatever the nature of your business, you deal with people all the time. If you want to connect with them, you must have care and consideration for their feelings.
Empathy comes through great listening skills, not just through asking questions. People want to be heard. I have a friend who knows a prime minister, and he occasionally wines and dines dignitaries with him. The friend explains to me that within minutes, the prime minister can make another person feel at ease and like the most important person on the planet. It’s an invaluable skill. How does he do this? By showing empathy
1. Provide the speaker with your undivided attention, and make direct eye contact.
2. However trivial the issue, do not be judgmental. Listen and acknowledge that you truly understand the problem and can relate to it—even if it’s not the first time you have heard about the issue.
3. Observe the emotions behind the words. Is the speaker angry, afraid, frustrated, or resentful? Respond to and validate the emotion as well as the words.
4. Be quiet. Don’t feel you must have an immediate reply. Often, if you allow for a lapse after the speaker has vented, they will break the silence and offer a solution.
5. Assure your understanding. Ask clarifying questions and restate what you perceive the speaker to be saying.
People want to be heard. Your job as a black belt marketer is to be a counselor with great listening skills. People love to talk about themselves! You can’t go wrong if you find out what is of value to them.
What does a best friend do for you? She listens and gives great advice. If you truly care about your customers, their success, their dreams and desires, you will want to listen to them.
Black belt marketers know that once you help your customers and prospects and are empathetic, they will by default want to help you.