The afternoon sun slipped through the gap in the curtains, creating a golden sliver of light across the bed and Liam’s naked torso. As though hypnotised, she was snagged in his heavy-hooded gaze. Of their own accord, her feet took her to the bed and she slipped beneath the covers, and snuggled close to him, her back to his front.
She was taken aback with the feeling that being here, like this, with Liam was so right. That this place, in his arms, gave her sanctuary from her life of responsibility. That just for a few moments, she could forget and just be Clover Loveday the person. It was a nice place to be. She hadn’t found a haven since her father had died, and she didn’t realise how she needed one. Until now.
Liam rested his arm about her waist, and drew her close to him so that they spooned from her bottom to her shoulders. He pressed his lips to the side of her neck, breathing in deeply as he kissed her there. Sleep had done them both good, and they had woken, relaxed and renewed.
‘I love the fragrance of you.’
She turned to face him, a smile on her ready lips. She kissed his mouth, then, ‘I love yours, too.’
They watched each other for a few moments, letting the peace of the moment wash through them. Even with the pain of the phone-call she’d just made, she felt as though she could cope. As though sensing her thoughts, Liam spoke. ‘How is Gloria?’
‘She’s not out of the woods. The chair didn’t break any bones, but her muscles took a battering.’ Clover took a deep breath. She needed to come clean. At this stage, Liam would know a normal healthy sixty year old didn’t go to hospital through a chair injury. ‘Liam, there’s something I have to tell you. It’s about my mother. She has Parkinson’s…you don’t seem surprised.’
‘Holly told me.’
Clover stiffened. ‘How much did she tell you?’
‘Relax. She didn’t want to tell me, but I sort of forced it out of her. Believe me. She basically told me what you just told me. Gloria has Parkinson’s and the disease has been quite degenerative. More so lately.’
Clover nodded. ‘It has taken a strong hold.’
‘To tell you the truth, I did notice something wrong when I came here for dinner that night.’
Clover bit her bottom lip. Her worst nightmare was coming into fruition. The disease was becoming noticeable. Her mother was suffering for it.
‘I try and cover for her as much as I can. But now, with the café, I can’t be around her all the time. What happened last night goes to show how much I’m not helping her.’
Liam rose onto his elbow. ‘But you can’t be in two places at once.’
‘I need to be. I have to run the café and look after Mum. I know Mum is more important, but…’
‘Give yourself a bit of slack, Clover. You’re working as much as four people. You’re doing your best.’
‘If last night has anything to show for it, my best isn’t good enough.’
‘Clover, you can’t do everything on your own. Can you get some help with the café, or get a nurse in for your mother?’
She’d love to do both, but the simple fact was her earnings didn’t extend to much more than the bills, the mortgage, and her father’s debts. ‘I’ll think of something.’
‘I can get someone to look at your books. Make your business more streamlined. Maybe there’s somewhere you can save you’ve overlooked.’
‘I’ve done that. And believe me, its running on the smell of an oil rag. I grow my vegies here to use in the café, so I don’t need to buy as much. I do the work around here to save on…the costs.’ She was going to say tradies’ costs, but caught herself in time.
‘You’re not paying me for the work the guys are doing around here, and I don’t want to hear any argument. Think of it as a gift. From me to you.’
He had an increasing uncanny knack of knowing what she was thinking. She didn’t know whether to be rattled or delighted.
‘At last. No protesting!’ His playful smile made her tap him on the shoulder. She liked the playful Liam. He’d kept that side of him hidden very well, buried beneath complex layers built through a lifetime of experiences very different than her own. Holding her in his arms like this, it didn’t seem such an obstacle.
‘I don’t think it would matter what I said.’
‘At last. The woman is listening!’
‘Ha. You can talk!’ His boyish grin twisted her insides. She delighted in the light-hearted feel of the moment. She very much liked this Liam.
Although he had enough money to last him a lifetime when he’d been born, it didn’t account for the pain of losing a parent. That much she knew first hand. And it certainly didn’t make up for an absent father. Although her mother was sick, she’d always been by her side. A constant support.
‘I feel bad about the way I left Connor last night. Have you spoken to him?’
A frown crossed his brow. ‘No. That’s very unusual. He usually picks up the phone on the second ring, ready to talk.’
‘Holly’s missing too. Do you think..?’
‘Hmmm. Let’s not think right now.’ Liam stroked her cheek with his fingertips and she closed her eyes, enjoying his touch, making her nearly forget her curiosity.
‘Tell me about Connor. Do you see him often?’
His stroke descended to her shoulder. She moved so that he could continue it down her arm.
‘As much as we can. Business gets in the way sometimes, but we make sure we have time for each other. At least every three to four weeks. No matter where we are in Australia.’
‘He travels as much as you?’
‘We’re both in the business, but he takes care of the national accounts. I’m on the floor in construction.’
He started massaging her neck and she almost purred with pleasure. She closed her eyes, giving herself up to the gratification of his hands on her flesh. ‘That feels so good.’
He chuckled. The resonant sound slipped into her belly. ‘It’s meant to.’
‘What does…oh…’ He found a knot at the base of her neck and massaged it. ‘What does your dad do in the company?’
‘He’s the head. Has his fingers in all the pies.’
Clover paused, then, ‘You’re not as close to him as you are with Connor.’
His fingers stilled a little, then moved in slow circles again. She’d thought she’d overstepped the mark with her barrage of questions. He was sensitive when it came to his father. ‘Brothers are different than fathers. It’s just the way it is.’
‘I didn’t feel that with my father. We were pretty close. He taught me all about the garden, growing trees and planting vegetables. We both started the garden in the backyard. I guess it’s kind of his legacy to me. His gift keeps growing every year. Every time the plum trees fruit, or I pick the lemons, I think of him.’
His hands had stopped moving. She opened her eyes and found him staring into space, lost in thought. His mouth had turned down at the edges, eyes narrowed, living a moment of another time and place. He sensed her gaze and his eyes snapped to hers. A lopsided grin lit his face as he was shaken out of his private thoughts.
‘Roll over.’
She rolled onto her stomach as he moved and straddled her. His weight felt good across the back of her legs. His muscular thighs imprisoned her, but she liked being trapped this way. He leaned forwards, brushing his hands over her back. She shivered as his fingers splayed over her skin. He pressed his fingers, the pressure changing from erotic to clinical.
‘You have knots as large as tennis balls in your shoulders.’
She winced as he found one and put pressure on it. ‘And you’ve nearly found them all.’
He leaned forward over her. His chest brushed her back, his lips replaced the sore spot his fingers had found, wet heat seared her skin. ‘That better?’ His voice had gone lazy. Intimate. She liked this Liam too. Very much.
‘Hmmm hmmm,’ she nodded.
His fingers probed, rubbing, pressing. When she winced as he worked each knot, his lips soon followed until there was no strength in her limbs to move. His fingers traced the swell of her bottom. She let him touch her there, not wanting to stop his erotic caressing, not sure her body would respond if she wanted to. She moaned as her lower belly started to liquefy. The tips of his fingers lightly traced the line of a cheek, and moved to the soft tissue of her inner thigh. A series of tingly sparks travelled through her flanks.
She moved her thighs apart and his hand slipped lower, sliding into her cleft, finding her wet heat. He slid a finger inside her core and she groaned as fire ignited an inferno of need. He moved his finger in and out and she rode his hand, sensation spiralling between her thighs to enflame her stomach.
His finger moved inside her as another found her clitoris. He circled the sensitive area, then gently pressed. She jerked, caught in a cascade of rocketing nerves snapping to life. His hand moved from her intimacy and snagged either side of her hips, drawing her bottom upwards.
There was nothing she wanted more than him inside her. She burnt with needy anticipation. His weight shifted behind her as he drew her derrière higher until she was on her knees, her face still side on the pillow.
The soft tip of his erection replaced where his fingers had been, lazily slipping along her wet cleft. Up and back until she couldn’t stand the sensual pain. As he moved up, she manoeuvred her hips so that he slid into her core, stretching and filling her intimately.
She gripped the sheets, scrunching the material with her nails. He moved so slowly. Too slowly. She needed more. Was greedy for it. She brought her backside backwards to meet his forward thrust and she nearly screamed as a building wave of glory crashed upon her.
His hand moved from her hip to the front of her intimacy, stroking as he thrust. Internal pressure built and she forgot to breathe as a glorious wave of golden sensation pounded through her. She rode the wave, helpless but to withstand the explosions within. One more thrust and Liam joined her. He pressed her hips close to him as he bent over her back, his erection pulsing with his own release.
They collapsed back to the bed, sweating, panting, still joined and gave themselves to the satiated peace only two halves of a whole could find.
* * *
There was no mistake. This was no mistake. This moment with Clover, what they had shared, the completion he had found was special. There was a quality about being with Clover that made him feel as though he’d found the thing he’d been searching for all these years, yet hadn’t known he’d been looking for.
That indefinable something, that place in heart and mind, that once in a lifetime connection where he was accepted for just himself. Where wealth, business, everyday worries and stresses could not find him, and weren’t of any concern. That place where he could find joy, happiness, completion — love.
That was it! That was what he was in. He realised with a start he might have been in love with Clover that day she fell into his waiting arms. A present from heaven. That was what Tania had lacked. He’d thought he’d been in love, but feeling how he felt now he knew it was only an inferior brand. Lust. Intense like. But not love.
Until now, he’d thought finding her in bed with his CFO soul-destroying. It was no more than a speed bump. He was grateful he’d never married Tania now. He might never have met Clover. For all his father’s protests and speeches, there was a deep sense of knowing that this was right.
The changes had been subtle, his developing feelings ignorant of what it all meant. He’d never been in love before. So how could he have known what it felt to be like — this? This certainty that Clover was no mistake, what they shared had to happen, and the gut feeling that there was so much more between them than mind-blowing physical attraction.
There was the certainty that there was here and now, but also the gnawing knowledge that there may not be a future they could share. Their lives were on completely different paths. But there had to be more to this than two paths crossing in a sea of chaos. This was far too special for it to be an error of fate.
He watched Clover pull some carrots from the ground. He’d never felt more at home. It wasn’t just the house, it was all her, but still, this house, with its haphazard garden full of trees and life was more homely than the mansion he called home back in the middle of Sydney.
‘Come over here and I’ll show you how to cut zucchini,’ she called.
Her hair shimmered with the setting sun, golden from behind. She was like a child digging in the dirt, but her enthusiasm was infectious. He stepped onto the soft dirt to where she knelt. She gave him a downwards glance. ‘We’ll have to get you some suitable clothes.’
He lifted his business shoe where mud was caked underfoot. Dirt coloured the hem of his expensive handmade trousers. He wasn’t dressed for the backyard.
‘Don’t tell me. You have lots of those, too.’
He grinned and he delighted in the returning sparkle in her eyes. He knelt, letting the material at his knees soak into the mud. ‘Actually. I do. Would you believe I’ve never owned a set of gumboots?’ Hers looked well worn.
‘I would.’ She handed him some clippers. ‘Time to get your hands dirty. That’s if you’re not too scared, that is.’
‘What’s to be scared about?’
‘This is a real, live garden. You’ll have to steady your nerves.’
There was amusement in her eyes that was infectious and he couldn’t help the grin that spread to his mouth. ‘Don’t worry. I’m a big boy.’
‘You certainly are,’ she murmured.
He let the comment slip with a grin. He watched her work until she glanced up at him. She gestured at the earth and vegetables. ‘Well?’
He knelt next to her and she handed him a knife. ‘You can start by cutting the dead leaves off the stems.’ She watched him fumble. ‘Didn’t you ever get dirty when you were a kid?’ Clover pulled out some weeds.
Liam shrugged. ‘We weren’t allowed in the garden.’
She lifted her head. ‘Serious?’
‘It’s Dad’s prize, the garden at the estate. He has an army of workers looking after the grounds. Regularly makes Home Beautiful magazine, much to Dad’s delight.’ Liam paused, thinking of the expression on his father face when he read the latest article. ‘No — that’s not the right word. Satisfaction is more what he feels. After all, he puts a lot of money into the place. I think he feels he should get the recognition.’
‘Sounds very beautiful.’ Her words didn’t match her tone.
‘It is. It has manicured lawns, cultivated gardens and the house is magnificent.’
‘You must like it there.’
‘It’s where I grew up.’ He paused, looking at her house and the garden of higgledy-piggledy rugged pickets, half grown plants, chickens and trees. Delicate baskets of colourful flowers hung around the back verandah, there was a haphazard method of planting that had nothing to do with aesthetics. But it was a house with heart. A real home. The home he’d never had.
‘Can you get that zucchini next to you?’
He brought himself back into the present and looked where she indicated. A zucchini grew at the base, nearly covered in mud. He slipped his hands to the base and felt something cold and wet brush his arm. He retracted his arms to reveal a big, black, wet slug on his skin. He flicked it off, jerked back and fell on his butt in the mud.
Clover sat back on her haunches and arched a brow. ‘You have a real problem with slugs, don’t you?’
‘It fell onto my arm. I wasn’t ready for it.’ He nursed his bruised ego and pushed back onto his haunches. There was a cold splat on his other arm. He reeled back and nearly fell again when he saw another slug. He brushed it off instantly. How did it…?
A chuckle brought his gaze to Clover. She barely restrained her grin. ‘Best to face big, tough, garden slugs head on.’
‘Is this your idea of fun?’ he asked.
She purposefully found another slug and set it on his arm. ‘Call it gardening boot-camp. You’re gonna get dirty when you play with the big boys.’
Liam lifted a damp leaf to reveal two wet slugs. He scooped them up and placed them on her shoulder. ‘You’ve got to learn to take as well as you give.’
She feigned serenity. ‘They don’t worry me.’
Liam scooted through the leaves. Luckily there were a plethora of slugs. He picked on up and held it in front of her face. When she didn’t move, he placed it on the tip of her nose. He laughed out loud seeing her looking cross-eyed at the insect.
She sighed deeply. ‘You know this means war.’
He frowned. Maybe he had taken things too far. ‘What do you mean…exactly?’
She dove into the slick bottom leaves of the nearest plant. ‘Slug war!’ She scooped up more of the disgusting creatures and tossed them at him.
For a moment, he knelt where he was, stunned and breathless. She turned excited eyes on him and he caught the game. Adrenaline rushed through him as he thrust his hand into the nearest plant. Feeling cold slime on his hand, he brushed the underside of the leaf and scooped up a handful.
‘No!’ she cried.
He crouched over to her, following her with the slug as she shimmied backwards. ‘You’re gonna get it now,’ he teased. He felt like the child he’d never been. And it was fun!
She screamed playfully. He showed her his handful of slugs. Her face was pure joy. She was alive in the moment, the story written on her face. He would be content to see that look on her face every day. In fact, he would fight to make sure she felt like this every day for the rest of her life. She deserved nothing less.
He wanted nothing less for her.
There was a thump on his shoulder. He looked down to see his shirt dirty with a streak of mud. The mud-ball slipped down his stomach, marking his clothes as it fell.
‘You’ve got slugs. I’ve got mud,’ she said.
‘Sneaky woman.’
‘You can’t count the ways,’ she laughed.
The mud sieved through his fingers as he followed her around the garden, throwing mud and anything else they found at each other. There was a broad smile on her face that matched his. Her eyes were gleaming, chest heaving with play, happiness etched into every angle and he knew he wouldn’t find happiness like this anywhere else in the world.
He couldn’t take her away from this. He simply couldn’t ask it of her. But his life demanded travel. He was doing the very thing he was raised to do since he was a boy. Would she give this up? Could he give up his life? Just at the moment, no matter how hard he wished it could be different, he knew it wasn’t. And for the life of him, he didn’t know how either of them could carve a future together when all he did was thank his lucky stars for one day like this. Now he knew the difference what a day could make to a lifetime. One day was not enough. He wanted a lifetime of days like this, but when he didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow, how could he plan a lifetime?