Another sleepless night. Another morning at the café with the day ahead stretching endlessly. Hospitals were not restful places to spend the night. Her bones ached as she stepped through the door. She couldn’t string a handful of thoughts together, save the nightmare of what had happened yesterday. She felt as though she had been king-hit several times, each punch pulled for a knock out.
The endless bills, the lifetime of payments, the elevated competition of Upper Crust was nothing compared to the look Liam had given her when she’d told him about Lenny. She’d purposely not told him out of fear for where that look would end.
It was the look of uncertainty, of doubt, of ambivalence. It was the look that he was about to be used for his wealth. The wall had gone up and the light of openness was shut to her. That was what she’d been trying to avoid.
The look that made her feel as though she was nothing but a user, that she saw nothing more in Liam than finance, that he was just the sum of his money. Now, thanks to Lenny, thanks to her predicament, she’d seen what she never wanted to see. It made her feel dirty.
Clover started cutting up some tomatoes, ready for the breakfast crowd. She didn’t feel the catharsis the action usually brought. There was no solace this time.
There was also no answer to Upper Crust stealing her muffin recipes and Liam’s inability to see that he had a choice. He didn’t have to accept Henry’s decision. But she guessed a lifetime of acceptance amounted to a kind of brainwashing. That was an insurmountable obstacle she couldn’t expect anyone to overcome. Henry was Liam’s father, no matter what sort of man he was. The knowledge didn’t take away the sting, but at least she understood that when he came to say he was leaving — and she was sure he would —that their relationship, whatever mess it had become, would not continue.
That was a wound she didn’t expect to heal in a hurry. Or ever.
She hadn’t wanted to embark on a relationship with Liam from the start, but she had been inexplicably drawn to him, caught in a silken, sensual web she couldn’t deny herself. It was all such a mess and at the moment she couldn’t see a way out of it that wasn’t going to end in heartache.
It had all been lies. Personal lies that would hurt for the rest of her life. He was good. She’d give him that. He’d looked so honest, so heartbroken she almost thought he might have cared. But proof was proof and it stared her so blatantly in the face she knew it had to be true. She wouldn’t be duped like her father. She couldn’t be so stupid.
She gave a self-deprecating grimace. If she didn’t know about agony before, she certainly knew how it felt now.
Holly came into the kitchen, tucked her bag onto the usual shelf and wordlessly hugged Clover. The sting of tears hit her eyes as she was wrapped in her friend’s embrace.
Sniffing, Holly stepped away. ‘How is she?’
Clover wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. ‘Blood clot. In her leg. She’ll be in hospital for another two weeks, at least. She’s bed-bound. Can’t move until the clot starts to dissolve.’
‘That’s terrible.’ Holly’s stricken look matched how Clover felt.
‘It could have been a lot worse.’
‘If she hadn’t fallen that night, she might not have said anything to you.’
‘I probably wouldn’t have been there if the worst happened. It just means Mum can’t be alone. I have to think about what I can do. Only I can’t think at the moment. Of anything.’
Holly hugged Clover again.
‘I’m lucky to have such a good friend,’ Clover said.
‘Me too,’ Holly said.
Holly was crying as much as she was.
‘We’re both as bad as each other,’ Clover said. It was enough to break the tension and they both laughed, sniffing and wiping tears at the same time.
‘We’ll build a room on out the back and your mum can come to work with us. We’ll be here to check her,’ Holly said.
‘I’ll get her working. She can make the milkshakes.’
‘And talk the ears off anyone that walks into the café.’
‘Can you imagine? Great food and even better conversation. They’ll never leave,’ Clover said.
‘Isn’t that the idea?’ Holly suggested.
Clover placed a finger to her mouth in a mock contemplation. ‘Hmmm. We might have something there.’ Clover shared a giggle with Holly.
Holly leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest. She tilted her head, watching Clover.
‘Uh-oh, I know that pose. What are you going to ask?’ Clover said.
Holly frowned. ‘How do you know I’m going to ask you anything at all?’
‘We can’t be friends all these years and not know something about each other. You lean against doorframes when you’re going to ask something I’m not going to want to answer.’
Holly straightened. ‘I do not.’
‘You don’t know you do it.’ Clover put the cut tomatoes into a container and put them into the fridge.
‘Since it’s so obvious, you’re prepared. What’s the deal with Liam?’
Clover reached for the cucumber and spring onions, and closed the door. ‘Nothing is the deal with Liam.’
‘What do you mean?’
Clover shrugged. ‘I think that Upper Crust is very important to him and he’ll head off to the next building soon.’ He probably couldn’t wait to get going.
‘What…even after…’
‘I knew what I was getting into, Holly. Did you actually think a man like that would settle in a small town with a girl like me? Time to take a reality check. It’s not going to happen, and that’s all there is to it.’
Clover sighed. There. She’d said it. Out in the open. Saying it made it seem that much more real, as though she might start to believe her own words. They added pain, but at least it made it real enough to expect, so when he came through the door and told her he was going, she would be ready.
She knew she wouldn’t see him again after that.
‘But…the way he looks at you…’
‘Holly, no-one said we don’t like each other.’ Clover swallowed. Hard. ‘But the reality is he’s Big Business and I’m battling it out here. He’s not going to change his entire life for me. I never expected it.’
Yes, you did. You expected happily ever after. You thought that somehow, some way it would all work out. Clover slammed the knife through the cucumber. Damn inner voice. She chose not to listen to it. It was only going to tear her in half.
Holly brushed her hands on her thighs. ‘I thought things were more serious between the two of you.’
Clover raised her brows. ‘And why would you ever say that?’
‘Because it’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in such a long time.’ Holly squeezed Clover’s shoulder. ‘But if you don’t think things can work out, then I’ll be here.’
Clover watched Holly getting things ready for the coffee rush in the main section of the cafe. First time she’d seen her smile? She was happy. She smiled. Often.
Didn’t she?
* * *
‘Dad.’
Henry Sinclair looked up from his desk computer. ‘Liam. What are you doing here?’
‘I just flew in.’ Liam strode into the large corner office, the streets of central Sydney clearly visible below, teeming with traffic and pedestrians. ‘I want to talk to you.’
Henry’s forehead creased. ‘Do you have an appointment?’
Liam stood in front of the large, solid oak desk. He couldn’t recall if his father had always been this gruff, or if time had made him as he was today. ‘I didn’t think I needed one to speak to my father.’
Henry leaned back in his chair, considering Liam. ‘Now you’re here, you might as well tell me what this is all about.’ He gestured to the empty chair on Liam’s side of the desk.
‘I thought we might have lunch.’
‘I have a busy day. And a lunch appointment already booked. If you told me you were coming…’
‘…it wouldn’t have made any difference,’ Liam said.
Henry paused, his gaze sharpening. ‘What did you come all the way here for, Liam?’
What…or why? He knew the ‘what’. A pair of large, velvet eyes framed with thick chestnut hair, brimming with the weight of the world filled his mind. Eyes that had seen too much, worked too hard and needed just a little bit of honesty to regain their trust in the world again. The ‘what’ he knew.
The ‘why’? Liam took a steadying breath.
‘I’m not standing by and let you rip someone off. It’s dishonest.’
He was more nervous than he thought he would be. His heart rate was up, perspiration prickled his skin. He’d always been nervous around his father, but it had never affected him physically like this. ‘And don’t ever use my name in any newspaper article I don’t personally sign off on.’
Henry’s cast a sardonic glance at Liam. ‘Is that all you have to say?’
‘It’s what you haven’t said that’s confirmed everything. Why did you do it, Dad? Why did you use my name in that newspaper article?’
Henry spread his hands. ‘Why not? You’re a Sinclair. You’re going to take over the business one day.’
‘That’s beside the point. It’s the running of it today that I’m concerned with and I don’t like my name used in things I don’t personally agree with.’
‘Don’t tell me you’re siding with that bit of fluff.’
‘If who you mean by that “bit of fluff” is Clover, then yes. Call her by her name. And to tell you the truth, I agree with her. She’d made a great point and I think Upper Crust would benefit from it. If we want to enter the suburbs, then we need to make changes to the way Upper Crust operates.’
Henry leant back in his chair and studied Liam. ‘You’re falling for it again. I thought I’d told you about women. Seems like it hasn’t sunk in.’
Liam’s eyes narrowed. A quick stab of anger licked at his insides. ‘Maybe you’re the person who should listen. But then again, no-one’s said anything about the way you are and how you run things. We all just circle you like a pack of “yes” men.’
‘I’ve been in business for a long time. You don’t get a business to the size of Upper Crust without knowing a thing or two.’
‘But dishonesty and ripping people off is another thing.’
‘Let the Fluff sue me. It’s a free world.’
The lick of anger turned into a full-scale inferno. ‘You know damn well that costs money, Dad. And you hire the best lawyers in the country.’
‘I knew it would be a woman. It’s always a woman.’
‘She’s different.’ Liam stared at his father as long moments passed.
‘They’re always different. How much has she asked you for?’
Liam shook his head. In all his anger, he had forgotten she hadn’t asked for any money from him. Even in her circumstances, she had insisted on paying for everything even though she knew she couldn’t afford it. He realised it was pride that set her apart from Tania. Pride and the belief that she could face seemingly insurmountable things and tackle it by herself without asking for anyone else to help her. And he was proud of Clover for being like that.
‘Why does it always come down to money for you? This cook-woman, as you’ve called her, has let me see the other side. And it’s good, Dad. Really, really good.’
Another way of life that wasn’t governed by an income, but by much, much more than that. He hadn’t realised how much she had affected him until he’d spoken the words, straight from his sub-conscious. Before he’d met Clover, life was a series of black and white events, each predictably strung out one after the other. Ask him then and he’d tell you he had a great life. He didn’t realise how much he’d missed out on until he’d been shown how empty his days had actually been. What he’d had with Tania was sepia compared to Clover. Now it could be a multi-colour buzz of emotion and things to look forward to. Not just planning and building and merging. Really living.
And doing what his father wanted. What Henry had planned for him? Searching for the approval he’d never get. Funny how he’d never looked at it quite that way before. No-one had ever said anything about his father to him. It wasn’t as though he was some sort of mindless robot doing what his father told him…was he?
Liam frowned, looking into his mind, staring at nothing. His mind was on a roundabout, spinning without purchase. The more he sought an answer, the more one became elusive. He had never questioned anything about his family, or his father, or the way he was brought up until Clover had made him think.
Either no-one have been brave enough or…no-one had cared enough.
He liked himself when he was with Clover. Before, he didn’t even know who he was or why he did what he did. It was mindless. He’d been groomed for it and he’d stepped into the role, as Henry had always planned for him. He realised with a start, he always did what Henry planned.
All of a sudden, he wasn’t angry with his father. Or Clover. He was angry with himself. For doing what he’d done for so many years without really thinking about the value he placed in it for himself.
‘Think what you want. I’m ringing our lawyer to write up a contract for the sale of muffin recipes. I don’t steal to earn money.’
‘Then you know nothing about the business world.’
‘And you’ve lost your touch with people. I’d rather leave Upper Crust than rip off people who don’t have the money to fight back. And about those food regulation laws. I’ve never understood why we don’t give away our bread. It doesn’t cost us anything. What’s the big deal about giving away day-old bread?’
‘The big deal is that we’re in business to make money. Giving away the profits is not about making money.’
‘You’d rather people starve?’
‘I’d rather people pay.’
Liam just blinked at his father. Moments stretched.
‘Some people can’t. It can’t just be about the profits, Dad. It just can’t be.’
‘What else is there?’
Liam thought he’d be angry at his father. He’d sat on his anger during the flight and in the taxi. Even as he’d stalked into their head office. But all the anger just drained, leaving nothing but — sadness.
‘Sometimes other things come first.’ But then again, neither Connor or he had. To Henry, it really was about the profits. Suddenly he didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to feel compassion, he wanted so much more from his life. ‘I don’t agree with you, Dad. Sometimes it has nothing to do with profits.’
‘It’s your choice,’ Henry snarled.
‘Then it’s the first real choice I’ve had. I’m leaving. I hope you sleep well at night with your decision.’
‘She’ll take you for everything. Mark my words,’ Henry said.
‘You’re wrong, Dad. She doesn’t want my money. It might be hard for you to understand, if you can at all, but believe it or not, she actually wants me. I’ve found someone, Dad. I just hope you don’t push everyone away like you have and end up a lonely old man.’
Liam strode to the office door without looking back, letting it swing on cushioned hinges behind him.