HER OLD FRIEND Shelley Logan was waiting for her when Nicole arrived in Koomera Crossing. Joel had ferried her in by helicopter, saying it was no bother. He had errands to run around town. They arranged to meet up again in two hours for the return trip to Eden. That would give Nicole ample time to have coffee and a long chat with Shelley and say hello to various people in town.
Eden and Kooltar were the farthest flung of all the stations, but the advent of helicopters had made covering the distance into the town quick and easy, a far cry from the long haul overland.
Shelley was already seated in the coffee shop looking out the window when Nicole arrived. The instant Shelley spotted her friend, she stood up, her face breaking into the sweetest of smiles. The two young women embraced warmly.
“How wonderful to see you again!” Shelley said excitedly, once more resuming her seat on the banquette with Nicole sitting opposite her. “You’re more beautiful than ever!”
“I couldn’t possibly look more radiant than you.” Nicole studied her friend’s expressive face and lovely hair. “Let’s have a look at that rock,” she said admiringly, indicating Shelley’s engagement ring.
Shelley presented her left hand for Nicole’s inspection. “An emerald to match your eyes,” Nicole said. “It’s absolutely beautiful, Shelley, and it suits you so well. How is Brock these days?”
“Working very hard,” Shelley said proudly, looking relaxed and confident. “He inherited Mulgaree from his grandfather, did you know?”
“My aunt told me. I’m so glad for you, Shelley. You deserve every happiness. Your mother and father, your sister, Amanda, how are they?”
“Far more settled, though my parents aren’t entirely over their depression. I suppose they never will be, but they’re delighted I’m marrying Brock. You’re invited to the wedding, of course. I have an invitation for you right here.” She turned to rummage in her shoulder bag.
“Nothing would keep me away. I’ll have to get an outfit organized.”
“A gorgeous outfit is imperative.” Shelley laughed. “Here it is.” She passed the invitation to Nicole, who took it out of its embossed envelope to read it. “I found an old photograph of the two of us I thought you might like to see.”
“Show me!” Nicole held out her hand. “Oh, would you look at us!” The colored photograph showed two little girls arm in arm. They were wearing some sort of fancy dress with feathers in their hair. Both were smiling at the camera, Shelley about six, looking like a mischievous elf, Nicole a couple of years older, taller, auburn hair cascading around her shoulders and down her back, her head resting sideways on the top of Shelley’s short bubble of red-gold curls.
“We were playing dress-up,” Nicole said. “I remember it well. We cut up a feather boa Gran gave us.” Quietly she added, “Us before disaster struck.”
Shelley nodded. “A few weeks later Sean drowned.”
“Your darling brother. The pain never goes away, does it?” Nicole reached out to squeeze her friend’s hand.
“I’ve come to the conclusion it never will. I’m sure the same goes for you. But I’ve found the man of my dreams. Brock is my miracle. How about you? Anything to relate?”
Nicole felt herself flush. “I’m enmeshed in something that could be very risky,” she confided. “I’ll let you know how it turns out.”
“It sounds exciting,” Shelley said.
“It is.” Conscious of the heat in her cheeks, Nicole paused to slip her invitation into her handbag. “Could I possibly keep the photograph? I love it.”
“It’s for you,” Shelley said. “By the way, I’m getting in early with the news. Brock has asked Drake McClelland to be his best man. Brock thinks the world of him. How does that sit with you, given the shift in relationships?”
Nicole smiled. “Actually, I’ve spoken to Drake. He told me he was going to be Brock’s best man. We’ve decided it would be a mistake to keep up the old feud. Bitterness never gets anyone anywhere. I met up with him of all places at Brisbane airport. He gave me a ride home, which was an enormous help. I was thoroughly jet-lagged. Last week he invited me over to see what he’s done on Kooltar.”
“That’s wonderful!” Shelley looked up as the waitress came to their table. “Here I was worried about fireworks and you’ve made up. You and Drake friends again, just as you were meant to be. That makes me very happy. Brock will be, too. Now, what are you going to have?”
Nicole consulted the menu. “Vienna coffee, gourmet sandwiches, paper-thin roast beef with Roquefort and cream cheese, lots of black pepper. A sliver of orange and almond cake. How about you?” She smiled at Shelley, feeling happy they were together.
“Cappuccino, and I’ll have the buffet sandwiches, too. Chicken, avocado, peppers, lots of herbs. A slice of old-fashioned lemon pie. It’s always good.”
“Homemade,” the waitress piped up.
“How did you get on with Callista McClelland?” Shelley asked after the waitress had gone.
“Oh, splendidly,” Nicole offered, deadpan. “She thought it a marvelous idea we all be friends.”
“That’d be nice if it were true.”
“Not much better than usual,” Nicole confessed. “She’s never liked me.”
“Gosh, is she capable of liking anyone outside her own family?” Shelley put up her hand and whispered behind it. “Between the two of us, she called Amanda a slut.”
“Good grief! What brought that on?”
“Mandy is a flirt. You know that. She wears sexy clothes and she still giggles a lot. Miss McClelland thought that all added up to slut.”
Nicole grimaced. “There is a certain prudish aspect to her. Apparently she’s quite fond of Karen Stirling.”
“Not a chance!” Shelley said, shaking her head. “Though I like Karen myself. She’ll have a hard time trying to land Drake. She’s been frantically in love with him for years.”
Nicole looked up to see Shelley looking closely at her. “Be that as it may, the differences between them are many,” she offered laconically. “Now, are you still keeping up your drawing?” she asked, shifting the subject away from Drake. It was all too new, too overwhelming. “You were always filling sketchbooks with wildflowers. They were beautiful, with great botanical accuracy. Do you still do that?”
Shelley sat back a little, smiling. “Not much time lately, with all the excitement of the wedding, but I’ll get back to it. What about your painting? You’re the one with the real gift. SoHo showings I heard. A glowing review in the New York Times. I want to see it. My work is just very pleasing.”
“Don’t put yourself down,” Nicole advised. “I’d like to catch up with what you’ve done. I wouldn’t have been in the fortunate position to have a showing, but for influential friends. Wonderful friends who treat me like family. There’s always a market for good flower paintings, Shell. They have enormous appeal. With me my painting is therapy. Dr. Rosendahl first suggested it. He died, you know. He was killed in a hit-and-run accident in Sydney.”
“When was this?” Shelley seemed appalled by the news.
“Maybe six months ago. I fully intend to get the full story.”
“Did the police find the culprit?”
Nicole shook her head. “Another one who got away.”
Shelley’s intuitive green eyes didn’t move from Nicole’s face. She reached out and touched her hand. “You never did accept your mother’s death was an accident.”
“I wasn’t the only one. Someone had a hand in it.”
“You can’t say that with certainty. You were a frightened child. I remember how traumatized you were for years and years.”
“No one found the coroner’s report satisfactory. Something very odd happened on that escarpment for them to hurtle down into Shadow Valley.”
“You’re determined to find out? That’s scary.” Shelley thought for a moment. “You don’t think there’s a connection with Dr. Rosendahl’s death, do you?”
Time for Nicole seemed to slow down. “All these years later? It seems unlikely there can be, unless he uncovered some new piece of evidence.”
“Didn’t Joel go to him for a time?” Shelley sent Nicole a quizzical look.
Nicole’s head snapped up. “What do you mean? I was the one who had the ongoing counseling, not Joel, though there was a time Dr. Rosendahl spoke in depth to the whole family. He had to. Joel was only sixteen when it happened.”
“I don’t mean then, Nic, I mean more recently. I take it you didn’t know…”
“How do you know, more to the point?” Nicole asked, greatly surprised.
“Joel let it slip talking to Brock. He wasn’t confiding in Brock or anything like that. They don’t have that kind of relationship. Apparently Joel got agitated about something and mentioned going to see Dr. Rosendahl. Brock’s very quick. He figured out Joel meant professionally. Afterward he told me.” Shelley’s voice grew anxious. “I hope this isn’t going to make a difference, Nic, but Joel hasn’t been invited to the wedding. He and Brock don’t get on at all. I guess that’s why Brock took a stand against inviting him.”
Nicole put her hands on the table. “What did Brock say exactly?”
Shelley gave a slight shake of her head. “Only that Joel had problems and was under a lot of strain. He had been for years. Brock believes that’s why Joel breaks out from time to time.”
“You mean acting up in town? Joel always did have a problem with his temper.” Nicole swept back a long curling strand of her hair.
“The only person I ever saw Joel interact with is you.” Shelley rearranged the salt and pepper shakers. “He must miss you dreadfully when you go away.”
Nicole’s eyes clouded with bewilderment. “Do you know, Shelley, I’ve never really thought about Joel’s affection for me. It was just there. You seem faintly troubled by it.’
Shelley flushed. “I have absolutely no business embarrassing you. All I’m saying is how much Joel is devoted to you.”
“Is that so unusual? We were reared together. He’s my first cousin. We were inseparable.”
“Of course. He talks about you such a lot. Quite a lot.” Shelley folded her hands.
“Did you discuss that with Brock?”
“Inasmuch as both of us regard you as our friend.” Shelley’s gaze was steady.
“And both of you truly dislike Joel?”
“Not me, Nikki.” Shelley caught Nicole’s hand and held it. “I don’t know him well. Does anyone know Joel well? But I do accept what Brock told me.”
“You think I need a word of warning?” Nicole asked quietly.
Shelley contemplated her friend. “I can’t know what’s in Joel’s mind, but I can say this to you. Friends are protective of one another. What are Joel’s feelings for you, really? Maybe you’re so close to him you don’t recognize them.”
Nicole gave Shelley a look of doubt. This was so strange. First Drake, now Shelley. “You’re saying that as if Joel might in some way harm me.”
“Oh, no, no! Why did I start out on this?” Shelley looked to the ceiling for an answer.
“It’s perfectly obvious why. You have concerns.”
Shelley’s flush deepened. “That sounds terrible. I never meant to imply—”
Nicole cut her off. “Something Brock said to you gave you a reason for speaking. I should tell you Joel brought me into town. He’s taking me home.”
“Does he know you’re meeting me?” Shelley raised anxious green eyes.
“Of course. He knows of our long-standing friendship. Gosh, we were kids together. He bears absolutely no ill will toward you, Shell.” As soon as she said it, Nicole realized she didn’t actually know.
“I’m glad.” Shelley gave a faint shudder. “I don’t want him to feel bad about not being invited to the wedding, but Brock was inflexible on that point.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nicole advised. “There is a possibility Brock got that bit about Joel seeing Dr. Rosendahl wrong. He would have had to travel to Sydney. Dr. Rosendahl found time for me, but that was different. I was a child in deep trouble and Granddad paid for him to fly in and out of Eden. Seeing a psychiatrist wouldn’t be Joel’s way. In fact, given Joel’s opinion of shrinks—his word—I think it highly unlikely.”
“Who knows what strains he’s been under,” Shelley countered, glancing up as the waitress approached their table. “You can’t ask him.”
“Why not?” Nicole was wondering in what circumstances she could.
“He’ll conclude it was Brock who told you. Or more likely me.”
“And that would worry you?” Nicole studied her friend.
“Nicole, Joel may have many good points, but he does have an ungovernable temper when provoked.”
Nicole lowered her voice. “So who is he going to inflict it upon, you or me? I’m not in the least intimidated by my cousin.”
Shelley paused again, looking stressed. “I’m sorry, Nic, I wouldn’t worry you for the world, but in my opinion maybe you should be.”
“You’ve thought this through, haven’t you,” Nicole said, appraising her friend.
Shelley’s gaze was steady now. “It was a pretty hard decision to come here telling you things you wouldn’t want to hear—I’ve so been looking forward to seeing you, talking about happy things—but not telling smacks a little too much of dodging my obligation to my friend. Am I really telling you something you didn’t know, Nic?” The seriousness of Shelley’s expression lent her words special emphasis.
“About Joel?” Nicole gave her friend a curious little smile.
Shelley nodded.
“The answer’s yes.”
IT WAS A LITTLE after two when both young women walked out into the sunlit street.
“You have to find the time to spend a day with me on Eden,” Nicole suggested. “It’s been so good to see you. Thank you so much for the wedding invitation and the photograph. I’ll treasure it. Say hello to Brock and your family for me.”
“I will. I hope I haven’t upset you, Nic,” Shelley said quietly, giving Nicole a hug. “I value our friendship.”
“Friends stick together,” Nicole said, noticing the lanky young man watching them from across the street, his black akubra tilted way down over his eyes.
Shelley followed the direction of her gaze. “That’s Joel now,” she said, her smiling face turning sober.
“If you don’t want to meet up with him, go now,” Nicole urged her softly.
Too late. Joel dodged a dusty four-wheel drive to join them on the sidewalk.
He moved close to Nicole, took her arm in a gesture that anyone would have interpreted as possessive. “Hi, Shelley Logan. How’s it goin’?”
“Fine, thank you, Joel.” Shelley gave him a pleasant smile.
“And how’s that handsome dog of a fiancé of yours?”
A little pause. “He’s well, Joel. Working hard.”
“Seems he doesn’t want me at your wedding?” Joel’s voice held challenge. “How about you?”
A longer pause while Shelley began to edge away a little. “We had to keep the numbers down, Joel. I hope you understand.”
“I bet you gave my beautiful Nikki here an invitation.” Joel shifted his gaze to his cousin.
“Of course I did,” Shelley answered in a different voice. Crisp and cool. “She’s my friend.”
“Now that is being candid.” Joel looked amused. “Obviously I’m not.”
“Can’t you leave this, Joel,” Nicole broke in, not knowing where it would end. Shelley Logan was no marshmallow. She had a temper. “Shelley and I have had a very enjoyable meeting. Don’t spoil things.”
“I didn’t know I was spoiling things,” Joel drawled, at the same time giving Shelley a look of open dislike. “I’d just like to know why Shelley and her goddamn fiancé found it necessary to leave me out. Just about everyone for miles around has been invited.”
“Maybe they thought they couldn’t count on your good behavior, Joel,” Nicole said sharply, sensing more than one passerby was looking at them.
“Why, sweetheart, of course. I didn’t consider that.” Joel turned his gaze on her, grinned.
Nicole spun on him. “Have you been drinking?”
Joel nodded briefly. “It’s not a crime to have a beer.”
“Because you know you’re flying home.”
“Stop fussin’, Nikki. I’m fine. Say goodbye to Shelley now. She’s borrowed you long enough.”
Nicole felt suddenly ashamed of him, as though what people were saying was true. Joel was unstable. “It’s been lovely, Shelley. We’ll be in touch.”
“I’ll keep a day free,” Shelley promised.
“Great!”
They exchanged another brief hug, while Joel, shifting his weight from foot to foot, looked on. “See you, Joel.” Shelley paused briefly to include him, despite his obvious hostility. Nicole noted the twisted smile on his face. She was glad Shelley had told her about Joel. She watched as Shelley turned and walked quickly away.
“Are you aware you upset her?” Nicole asked Joel as they walked to the corner of the main street. They needed a cab to take them to the airstrip.
“Who the hell cares!” Joel shrugged. “She and dear old Brock upset me. The big man now with all old Kingsley’s authority. Who would have thought the penniless little Logan kid could land a cattle baron?”
Nicole felt her indignation rise. “Brock is very lucky to have won Shelley’s hand. She’s a lovely person. Clever and brave.”
“Boo-hoo,” Joel jeered. “She’s a judgmental little bitch.”
Nicole turned to him in shock. “Why ever would you say that?”
“I can see it in her eyes.”
“You deliberately upset her, Joel. When you’re in a mood, it affects everyone. You shouldn’t drink. You’re one of those people who get aggressive. You went out of your way to offend her, and there was nothing I could do to stop you.”
“Look, dammit, I was angry. I could have gone to the wedding with you.”
“Is that what it’s all about?” Nicole said in wonderment. “You and Brock Tyson have never been friends. Why should you expect an invitation?”
“What did she tell you?” Joel’s good-looking face was stony.
“About what?”
“Don’t play games with me, Nikki.” He took her arm in a viselike grip.
Nicole was shaken and embarrassed. People out in the street were watching them. “Stop it,” she said coldly. “Let go of my arm and quit flinging yourself around.”
“If anyone tried to turn you against me, I’d kill them.” He released her arm but his voice remained angry.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Nicole said. “You have to learn to control your temper, Joel. People perceive you as a threat. You scare them.”
“You don’t ever have to be scared of me.” He gave her a tender look.
“I should darn well think not,” she responded tartly. “I could toss you out of Eden if I chose to.” Immediately as she said it she was ashamed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You have as much right to be on Eden as I have. Only, Granddad left it to me.”
“Aunt Corrinne wanted me to go,” he said in a voice that seemed to come from a long distance. “Did you know that?”
“Go where?”
He grimaced painfully. “Anywhere. Away from you.”
On a reflex Nicole grabbed his arm. “She told you this?”
“She told Dad.”
A few people were waiting at the cabstand. No cabs as yet. Nicole moved to the side of the footpath, drawing him with her. “Your father?” she said incredulously. “Why wouldn’t she tell her sister? And why was she troubled?”
He touched her cheek gently. “Nikki, sometimes you are such an idiot.”
She stared at him, shaking her head. “Please explain that.”
His expression was drawn. “It’s too hard. Far too hard. The way she carried on, Dad said anyone would have thought I was going to molest you.”
“But that’s horrible!” She was aghast. The anger left her.
“I thought so, too. I wouldn’t hurt a hair on your head.”
“I know you wouldn’t, Joel.” Her eyes connected with his. “What a burden for you to carry. It makes me so sad. Whatever could you have done to make my mother think like that?”
“She didn’t want us to be happy.” His voice was hard and emphatic.
“I refuse to believe that,” Nicole said, defending her mother. “We were children together. What does Siggy say?”
“She’s always refused to discuss it. She thinks my affection for you is a crashing bore.”
Nicole snorted. “It practically is. Uncle Alan, what does he say?”
Joel took a deep audible breath. “He never stood a chance with Corrinne.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ah, Nikki, this is too much.” He looked cornered. “I know it was different for you. You were a child. I was sixteen.”
“You’re confusing me terribly, Joel.” Nicole felt truly distressed now. She gripped Joel’s arm and willed him to continue.
“Hell, it was like Corrinne was a goddess,” he said at last. “Dad used to be so happy if she so much as even noticed him or spared him a word.”
Her hand fell to her side. “She never would have noticed him except as Siggy’s husband, her brother-in-law.”
There was a faint undertone of contempt in Joel’s voice. “So relationships define the feelings one is supposed to have?”
Nicole was jolted by Joel’s words. “I’m saying there are taboos, surely. Societal constraints, if you like.”
“Anyone can fantasize in private,” Joel answered. “And falling in love is beyond our control.”
Nicole had to steel herself. “Are you saying your father was in love with my mother, his sister-in-law?”
“I’m not saying that at all.” Joel turned his head as though checking on the arrival of the few town cabs. “I’m saying he permitted himself to fantasize about her. Dad has an internal life none of us knows much about. I can’t think he was ever in love with Mum. He married her for the money. His greatest aspiration in life had to be to marry a rich woman. He certainly didn’t want to support himself. There were a lot of complicated relationships on Eden, Nikki. You were too young to see them. Corrinne was the catalyst. Certain women are like that. Beautiful, fascinating. They make it difficult for men around them to stay out of their range. Poor old Mum! She had a rotten deal. Bloody plain with a sister that looked like a film star.”
The insult to her aunt hit Nicole hard. “Siggy isn’t plain at all. She has far more to her. When she fixes herself up, she looks quite distinguished. The thing with Siggy is she doesn’t usually bother.”
“Why would you with a sister like Corrinne?” Joel asked bitterly. “No one would have noticed Mum if she did work her butt off to look good.”
“There is such a thing as intelligence,” Nicole pointed out severely. “Humor, understanding, loyalty.”
“Sure, but all in all, women are valued for their desirability. How can you doubt it? Do you think McClelland would have invited you over if you didn’t fit into that category? Beautiful and fascinating. As far as I can see it’s a view women hold of themselves, anyway. Once they lose their looks, they know they’re out of the race.”
Nicole, the feminist, was outraged. “Maybe they should stop being motivated by what men want.”
He laughed into her face. “Sex is at the core of everything, Nikki. Do you think your mother’s life would have ended as it did if she hadn’t been such a danger to the men around her?”
“How did it end?” Nicole asked sharply. “That’s what I want to know.”
Joel shrugged. “One or other of them lost control. A fight resulting in an accident? Murder-suicide? Who knows? I mean, it was a long time ago.”
“I can’t believe you said that. We’re talking about my mother.”
Joel kept looking up the street. “She didn’t like me.”
To hear such a charge against her mother was devastating. “I never saw a single instance of her being unkind to you. The reverse was true.”
“She turned on me.” Joel’s face contorted for a moment before he composed himself.
“When?”
“Don’t push it, Nikki. Please,” he warned. “You must be very careful what you’re about. You’ve brooded about this for years. You always were an intense creature. No one has ever found concrete evidence of foul play. The best thing you could possibly do is forget it and get on with your life.”
“And let a possible murderer go free?” She stared at Joel, shocked and appalled.
“If such a person was around, what’s to stop them coming after you? I couldn’t bear to think of you as a victim. Forget it, Nikki, I’m begging you.”
She simply had to ask him, “Did you ever speak to Dr. Rosendahl about the burdens that were put on you?”
His eyes flashed as if someone had turned on a light. “Why mention him? Hell, I have nothing but contempt for him and all he represents. Headshrinkers. Charlatans. They can’t help themselves, let alone anyone else.”
Urgent questions rose to her throat, but she was uncertain how to handle Joel when he was feeling this way. “He helped me greatly,” she said. “Why not you?”
Given an opening, again no response. “Why didn’t anyone advise me of his death?” she asked next. “Didn’t anyone think I’d be interested?”
“Don’t look at me,” he said moodily, staring at some point over her head. “I never spent any time thinking about him. I never liked the man. Always stroking his beard. I never liked those eyes of his, either. Black as night. They seemed to push you to the limit, probing into your soul. I didn’t trust him.”
She gave him a look of mixed anxiety and inquiry. “What did you have to hide? Tell me. It was nothing, isn’t that true?”
“Of course it’s true.” His hand came out, closed around hers. “All I want is for you to be happy, Nikki.”
For the life of her Nicole couldn’t draw her hand away, nor could she trust herself to question him further. Joel had deliberately lied to her, but he looked so loving it deeply distressed her. Cabs started arriving.
“Let’s go,” he said, animated now as if a threat had been averted. “I can’t wait to get home.”