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The following weekend, Grant drove up to Surrey on his own. He’d spent barely a moment apart from Dare over the last few days. They’d spent the nights in Grant’s bed and the days hanging around Dare’s workshop, arranging his new career with the aid of his laptop and phone while Dare got on with his work. He’d probably have managed to get much more done alone in his flat, but these days efficiency didn’t seem to be all he’d once thought it was. Far nicer to be able to look up from his screen and see Dare there, fiddling about with engine parts and wrenches and all manner of tools Grant didn’t know the proper names for.
But on Saturday morning, Grant had to take his leave, and it was oh so hard tearing himself away from Dare. They stood in his kitchen, kissing lazily. Amazingly enough Grant had a semi-on, even though they’d shagged like bunnies several times in the night.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he complained.
“I could come with you,” Dare offered.
Tempting, but it wouldn’t be right. “Thanks, but I need to do this on my own.”
“I get you. Good luck.”
And so three hours later, he turned into the driveway of his old house, alone. It didn’t hurt anymore, though, coming back here. Because even though Dare might not physically be with him, there was a lightness and joy in Grant’s heart that connected them, no matter how far apart they were. Love was different to what he’d expected. True love. He’d fooled himself into thinking he had it with Harriet once, but this was different. Calmer, but deeper. Or maybe it was simply that he was older and wiser now.
Harriet answered the door with a glum smile. He’d phoned ahead to give her fair warning. No more ambush visits. That was part of his new resolutions for being a great ex. The next was total honesty in everything that would affect his fathering. And so they needed to talk.
They made chitchat about the girls and Harriet’s new job at the dentist’s office, and Grant waited until they were settled with cups of tea in the sun porch before dropping the big one. Well, one of the big ones. “I’ve left my job, and I’m setting up alone. It’s going to affect maintenance payments.”
Harriet set her tea down slowly. “Oh.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“My solicitor is advising that the court will probably insist we sell the house and split the profits anyway, so I was wondering if we could sort something out now.”
“Like what?”
“Perhaps your parents could buy me out? I’d be willing to give them my share at what we paid for it all those years ago. It would mean you and the girls wouldn’t have to move.”
“You’d really do that? It’s worth so much more now.”
Grant nodded. “They’d be getting a great deal. Think they’ll go for it?”
Harriet shrugged, then gave him a sheepish grin. “My dad suggested something pretty similar the other day, actually, so I’m sure they will. Might be best to let him think it was his idea, though. You know what he’s like.”
“Indeed I do.”
They both sipped their tea for a while, Grant enjoying the warmth of the spring sunshine without any of the chill breeze, and things seemed to ease between them. For the first time, they discussed the maintenance and both their new career prospects like adults—no tears or anger on either side. Something tight inside Grant’s chest eased, and he sprawled back in his chair.
But then Harriet mentioned the divorce.
“If you’d rather get it out of the way quickly and want to say I was unfaithful, I won’t dispute it,” Grant said. “It might have been with a man, but they don’t need to know that.”
“That’s such a stupid law,” Harriet grumbled. “I can’t think which idiot decided that same-sex infidelity didn’t count. Must have been a man, hoping his wife would let him watch her lesbian goings-on. Dirty old pervert.”
Grant snorted tea out of his nose. That was the old Harriet he’d fallen for. They shared a smile, and he reached out to take her hand. She raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.
“There’s something else,” Grant ventured. God, this was tough. “I don’t know how to tell you, but...”
“You’ve met someone.” It wasn’t a question.
“How did you know?”
Harriet shrugged, mostly with just her mouth. “I don’t know. Something about you. You’re happy, and it’s not just the new job.” She sighed and let go of his hand. “Please don’t tell me he’s some cute young twenty-something. I don’t think I could bear that.”
“His name’s Dare, and he’s only a year younger than me.”
“Dare? What kind of a name is that?”
“It’s short for Derek, but he doesn’t like being called that.”
“I see. And what does this Derek do for a living?”
Grant described Dare’s business, taking a strange kind of pride in seeing Harriet’s expression turn to amazement.
“Are you seriously telling me you’re in love with a skinhead, tattooed mechanic? For goodness sake, Grant. Talk about a midlife crisis.”
“It’s not a midlife crisis,” Grant insisted. “Mas was a midlife crisis. Dare is... He’s the real deal. He makes me want to be a better person. And I love him, despite everything.”
They sat in silence for a while, but again, it wasn’t uncomfortable. More of a time for reflection. Eventually, Harriet sighed deeply, and gave him a brave smile. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you care for. Is he a steady sort of man?”
“Definitely.” Grant considered that carefully. “He might not look it to the casual observer, as he’s not conventional in any way, but he’s incredibly loyal to the people he loves. And he’s a hard worker. Intelligent too, even if he didn’t go to university.”
“Maybe he can teach you a thing or two about loyalty.”
Ouch. But he deserved it. “Like I said, he makes me a better person.”
“What about the girls?” Harriet asked. “When are you going to tell them?”
While he wanted to shout about Dare from the rooftops, Grant knew he had to tread carefully. “What do you think would be best?”
“I don’t know. But it’s going to be a big shock for them. I think you should take it gradually.” She halted, a look of horror on her face. “He hasn’t moved in with you, has he?”
“No.” Not yet, anyway, although Grant had raised the topic at least five times over the last few days. Dare didn’t seem to be in any hurry, though. “He says he likes having his own space.”
“Good. I don’t want him sleeping there while they’re staying with you. Just introduce them for an hour or so to begin with. Then build up slowly.”
“I thought maybe if I mentioned him to them today, they could get used to the idea for a few weeks before they meet him in person.”
Harriet pursed her lips. “Okay, I suppose it has to happen sooner or later. Just please promise me you won’t parade him around until they both say they’re ready to meet him.”
“I promise. And I know you have no reason to trust my word, but I really do mean this. The girls are the most important people in the universe to me. I don’t want to mess this up by rushing things.”
And so that was how, an hour later, Grant found himself sitting between his daughters out in the sun room, telling them all about Daddy’s new boyfriend.
Charlie was predictably enthusiastic. “Cool. Does that mean I have two daddies now? And I’ll get more birthday presents? Does he like ponies? And One Direction?”
“I don’t think he’s all that interested in One Direction, and I don’t know about ponies. You’ll have to ask him when you meet him. He’s got a dog, though. She’s called Solly, and she’s a Rottweiler. You’ll like her. She’s sweet, just like Mabel, even though she looks a bit scary.”
“Cool! What else is he into?”
“Let’s see.” Grant racked his brains for something clean. “He likes arty stuff. Painting and tattoos. And fixing up old camper vans and going to music festivals.”
“Ooh, Daddy, can we go to a music festival? Katie went to Glastonbury with her auntie, and she said it was the coolest thing ever. Can we please? Can we, Daddy?”
“We’ll have to wait and see about that,” Grant hedged, imagining how Harriet would react to the idea. “You haven’t even met him yet.” He turned to Izzy, who’d taken the news with an unnatural calm. “What do you think, Izzy?”
Her lower lip wobbled. “I just don’t... I just don’t see why you can’t get back together with Mum.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it wouldn’t be right.”
“Don’t you love her anymore? If love doesn’t last, what’s to say you’re not going to get sick of your boyfriend after a few weeks?”
“Sweetheart, listen to me. I do still love your mother. Just not in the right way. I love her like a friend or a sister, not a wife.”
“So? Friends and sisters live together sometimes. I just don't see why you can’t try.”
Grant hugged Izzy into his side and searched for the right words. Charlie was busy picking the flowers off one of the geraniums, seeming to have lost interest in their conversation. “I agree it’s good to try and make things work, but sweetheart, I’ve been trying for years and it just hasn’t made things right. I need to be the person I really am, and I couldn’t do that while living with your mother. I’m sorry that meant I had to leave you too, but I’ll make sure we spend lots of time together, I promise.”
“Yeah, with this boyfriend of yours too. I bet we hardly get to see anything of you, coz you’ll be all lovey-dovey like Tamara’s mum and her new boyfriend.” She sounded too bitter for a thirteen-year-old.
“I promise you, you girls will have me all to yourselves until you’re both ready to meet Dare.”
“You really mean that?”
“I really mean that.” And if it meant he and Dare had to spend every other weekend apart for the foreseeable future, so be it. He could handle that for the sake of his girls.
“You’d better.” Izzy gave him a trembly smile, and he squeezed her tight. Then Charlie bundled in from the other side, followed by Mabel, wagging her tail and wanting to see what all the fuss was about. Pretty soon they were a big giggly mess.