Chapter Twenty-One

Cory spent Saturday afternoon developing photographs of EmJay with the rabbits. When they were dry enough, she spread the large proofs on her living room floor and stood back to consider the outcome. They were probably some of the best photographs she’d ever taken of a person. She wished Vikki were there to admire them, but she was out shopping. Should she call Mitch? He’d hinted at barbecuing together that evening, and she was hoping he’d come over to invite her, but she worried about making a fool of herself like she had at the reservoir. The memory of her antics with Evan brought a flush to her face.

When the doorbell rang, she started suddenly. Then her hand went to her hair. Silly, she thought.

Opening the door, she was surprised to see Evan. Behind him in the driveway was the blue sports car he’d rented. “Good, you’re home,” he said. “I’ve been calling your cell like crazy. Why haven’t you called me back? I have to leave town tomorrow.”

She opened the door and let him in. “I’ve been in the darkroom. My phone’s off.”

His gaze went to the pictures. “Ah, working. That explains everything. That happens to me when I write.” He flashed her a smile that once would have turned her heart inside out.

Not anymore.

He bent down to study the pictures. “These are really good. I like how her face is in the shade, but you can see the bits of sunlight on the grass around her. Very, very nice pictures. I don’t know how you do it.”

“She’s so cute—anyone could take good photos of her.”

He straightened. “I don’t know about that. I think you’re talented.”

“Thank you.” His words meant a lot to her because she knew how hard he’d been working at his own photographs. She clasped her hands behind her back and smiled.

“Look,” he said. “We need to talk.”

She remained by the still-open door, uncertain what would come next. “I don’t understand. I thought you had another pressing writing assignment.” She touched the door but didn’t shut it, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face.

“I have several, but they shouldn’t take more than a few weeks. I’d be available to go back with you to Brazil, if that’s what we decide. I could hang out, help you with your pictures. Maybe toy with writing some text for them.”

Ah, so now it comes down to it, Cory thought. She focused on his handsome face. He apparently hadn’t shaved that weekend and was working up some serious dark blond facial hair. That wasn’t like him—he was usually more meticulous about such things. Even in the Amazon he’d been clean-shaven. She shook her head slowly. “I wouldn’t expect you to do that. I know how much you dislike it down there. We probably should keep in touch over e-mail until I finish my shoot.”

“I thought you weren’t coming back.” He put his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and rocked on his heels. “At least not soon.”

“I might. It depends on how things go with my niece.” She leaned slightly back against the door frame, her eyes wandering down the street. There was no sign of life at Mitch’s place.

“Your niece or her guardian?”

Cory pulled her gaze back to Evan. “What are you talking about?”

Evan’s jaw clenched. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know. Yesterday you acted like you were glad to see me. I thought we were having a good time. But after a while I began to see that it was all for show. You were performing for him!”

“What?” Cory took a step toward him. “That’s ridiculous!”

“Is it?”

“Of course! He has nothing to do with us.”

“Nothing?” Evan reached for her, pulling her close. “Oh, yeah? Then how come you aren’t as happy to see me today as I am to see you?”

“Evan, don’t.” Cory pulled away and headed for the kitchen, leaving the door open in case she needed to call for help. At the sink, she filled a glass with water—anything to busy her hands.

Evan followed her into the kitchen. “At the reservoir, you were laughing and joking with me, but all the time you wanted to be with him.”

“That’s not true!” Cory turned. “Look, Evan. I knew you’d think I was acting weird, but you don’t get the situation I’m in. Try to understand! Mitch is the only one who can give me custody of EmJay. He decides if I see her or not. I have to convince him that I should be EmJay’s guardian!”

“By throwing yourself at him?” Evan grated. “Because anyone could see that’s what you were really trying to do. I was just a pawn.”

Deep shame filled Cory. Had it really been that obvious? “I’ll use whatever means it takes! Don’t you see? I have to be with EmJay. She’s my niece. The only child my sister will ever have. My only family. I’ll do anything to get her—anything.”

“So you don’t care for him?”

“I don’t feel a thing for him,” she lied. “Not a thing.”

“Well, I personally don’t like the guy.”

Sudden anger sliced through Cory. “Why? Because of me? Evan, he saved your life! You owe him.”

“I would have been fine.” Evan muttered a curse and added, “I was carrying him half the way back to shore. You saw how he was.”

“That was so not what happened.” Cory welcomed the opportunity to confront Evan about what happened at the reservoir. She wanted him to know how irresponsible he had been—even if that meant defending Mitch. “I saw him dragging you. And if you hadn’t been such a jerk, none of it would have happened. All of it was your fault! What if you’d hit the boat? Did you ever stop to think that we had a baby on board?”

He made a sour face. “I was just having a little fun.”

“Well, grow up already.”

He stared sullenly at her for a long moment, but gradually his expression lightened. He took a breath and held up his hands in truce. “Okay, maybe I was a little jealous, but I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. And I’m sorry. But that’s not really what’s at issue here. I’d like to know where we stand.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know my life was going to change so drastically. I didn’t know I would feel so strongly about EmJay.”

“I could help you with her.” He looked at her like a little boy asking for permission.

Cory smiled, recalling how kind he’d been to her the night she’d learned about AshDee’s death. Despite his mistake at the reservoir, Evan wasn’t a bad guy—even if she no longer cared for him. “I’m sorry. I can’t. If Mitch even suspects that you’re around, he’d never give me custody. Not after what happened.”

There was a flash of hurt in Evan’s eyes, which he quickly squelched. He nodded. “Okay, you deal with this, and call me when you’re ready. But that offer to go back to the Amazon with you is still open.”

Even if Cory suspected his reasons for volunteering, it was still a nice offer. After all, she’d acted like a bigger jerk at the reservoir. “Thanks, Evan. I appreciate it.”

They walked into the living room, Cory feeling relieved. The front door was ajar only a few inches, not nearly as open as Cory remembered leaving it, and she felt a premonition of unease. As she pulled on the doorknob to let Evan out, he took her in his arms and kissed her firmly on the mouth. “Good-bye,” he said. “Let me know.”

When he let her go, she turned to see Mitch at the bottom of the stairs, EmJay in his arms. His eyes were angry and accusing.

Evan went down the stairs. “Mitch.”

“Evan.” Mitch dipped his head slightly, but his eyes didn’t leave Cory. Remembering the open door, a chill crawled up her spine. How much had he heard?

“Come on in,” she said as Evan drove away. “What brings you here?”

The street was deserted, with only a few children riding bicycles at the end of the block. “The door was open,” he said without inflection. “I knocked, but you were obviously too busy to answer. I heard what you said.”

Cory swallowed, her throat feeling dry. “And what was that?” She wanted to reach out to him, but he was too far away.

“The bit where you admitted to leading me on to get what you want.”

She looked at him pleadingly. “Is that so bad? Is it? Considering what’s at stake?”

“I guess not.” But his eyes said otherwise. Cory felt she had hurt him far worse than she could ever have hurt Evan.

EmJay struggled to get down, catching sight of some bright rocks in the flowerbed. Mitch let her go.

Tears stung Cory’s eyes. “It’s not as if it changes anything between us.”

He walked up two steps until their eyes were even. “It does change things. You know why? Because lately I find myself wishing we could have met under different circumstances. I keep thinking that if we didn’t have to fight over custody, we might have discovered something important.” He was leaning forward, too close for comfort, but Cory couldn’t seem to back away.

“There’d still be your church,” she retorted to stave off the biting pain that had begun in her heart. “Tell me honestly—you wouldn’t even consider marrying a nonmember, would you?” She had learned that morning from the missionaries that Mormons were encouraged to marry only Mormons. She should have known; her father had felt the same about Baptists marrying Baptists. At least now she understood what Kerrianne had been talking about when she’d implied that Mitch would never be interested in her. “Well?” Cory prodded.

He sighed. She was right, and they both knew it.

“How utterly egotistical.” She shook her head in disgust.

“Not from where I’m standing. I want my family with me forever. I want someone to share my faith. I want someone who will help me pass on that faith to my children.”

“And to EmJay.” She looked down at the little girl who stood in the flowerbed on a bunch of purple pansies, her hands full of rocks.

“Especially to EmJay. I need to teach her how she can make it to where her parents are waiting. I want to help them become an eternal family.”

Cory felt no triumph over his first use of the baby’s nickname. She only felt sad, discouraged, and alone. Once more a stranger cut off in the darkness. But she had been alone a lot these past years, and she wasn’t going to let that stop her. She lifted her chin slightly. “At the hospital, you agreed with me when I said that EmJay belongs with me. Did you mean that?”

He nodded slowly. “I did, at the time.”

“And now?”

The muscles in his jaw worked. “I guess I feel the same—to some extent.”

A sliver of hope burgeoned in her heart. “What does that mean?”

“It means I’ll let you spend time with Emily Jane.”

“But you won’t let her live with me?”

His eyes dropped to the baby but not before Cory saw his silent question: Do you know what you’re asking?

Of course she knew. Of course.

“If you joined the Church,” he said, meeting her gaze once again, “then maybe we could share custody.”

“And if I don’t?”

His eyes didn’t waver. “Then you’ll have visitation, as much as we can work out, but she’ll live with me, and you can’t poison her against the Church. And you can’t take her out of Utah. I’m sorry, Cory, but I won’t bend on any of this. Lane and Ashley are her parents, and they want her to be raised in the Church.”

“AshDee and her husband are dead!”

His hands gripped the black cast iron railing. “That doesn’t mean they’ve stopped caring about their daughter.”

“Look at you!” she said, her face flushing with angry frustration. “Look at you talking about them as though they’re in the next room.”

Mitch appeared surprised at her fury. “They are, so to speak,” he said, leaning earnestly toward her. “I know I’ll see them again. Cory, it’s simple: the Church really is true. I know it!”

Her jaw clenched and unclenched. “So that’s all it takes? Joining your church? Then you’ll share custody?”

“If you really mean it.”

Cory made her voice deadly soft. “And who judges that? You? The neighbors? Your attorney?”

“No, no.” He shook his head, obviously uncomfortable with that idea. “You judge yourself. You live it, that’s all.”

“In five years are you going to take EmJay away if I’m not living up to par?”

“Of course not. If you’re converted, you’re converted. The rest is between you and God.” His eyes roamed her face with an intensity that resembled a touch.

Cory shivered.

His voice lowered. “But whatever you decide, do both of us a favor and don’t pretend you like me when you don’t.”

Before she could respond, Mitch looked over to where EmJay had started down the sidewalk. He turned and sprinted after her. Without a backward glance, he scooped up the baby and headed toward home.

Cory knew the hoped-for barbecue was canceled.

He acted so high and mighty, looking down on her for trying to charm him into giving her custody, but hadn’t he been trying equally hard to charm her into believing in his religion? Not a day had passed that he hadn’t somehow brought it into the conversation.

Well, so be it, she thought, going inside the house. If he wants it so much, I’ll believe. Her first call was to Tyler.

“Hi,” she said, a little breathlessly. Her heart raced at what must be a million beats per second. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you and the missionaries have taught me, and I’ve decided that I want to be baptized.”

The second call was to her attorney.