Chapter Nine

Dominic moved quickly, ignoring everyone he knew, as he pushed through the lifeboat station and up the stairs to the crew quarters. A long trestle table had been set up in the rear office, where Jacob and two aides were counting the day’s takings. Jacob’s smile was evidence of how well things had gone. Dominic deposited his bucket with the cluster in the corner that still needed to be counted.

Jacob stacked a neat row of coins and tapped a figure into his calculator.

“Fresh supplies are over there,” he said, nodding at a pile of empty buckets.

“Sorry,” Dominic said. “I’m done for the day.”

“Are things finally dying down out there?”

“No. There’s still plenty of folk about. I’ve got something else to do, that’s all.”

Jacob pushed his reading glasses to the top of his head and his eyes twinkled.

“Oh, yes. What might that be?”

Dominic laughed. The old man’s instincts were razor sharp. “I took your advice,” he said. “Don’t look so smug about it.”

“What advice would that be?” Jacob asked, feigning innocence.

“I’m meeting someone for a drink.” He looked at the other people who were counting money. He didn’t want to be so obvious as to use Arnie’s name in front of them.

Jacob took the hint and grinned. “Then don’t keep him waiting. Go on, get out of here. Have a good night.”

Dominic dropped into the bathroom before leaving, wanting to check his appearance in the mirror. His nose and forehead were a little pink after an afternoon in the fierce sun. He brushed his fingers through his thick hair, smoothing it down, then ran the cold tap to splash water over his face. He instantly felt better.

A shower would be nice, but there was no time. Arnie was waiting right now. He’d have to take him as he was.

Dominic hurried downstairs, unexpectedly anxious. Why would meeting a guy for a drink have this effect on him? He was a grown man—there was nothing to be nervous about. He could take the boat out in the black of night, into a raging storm, and keep his cool. It was stupid to get worked up over a drink.

Then he realized this had never happened before, being nervy about a guy. Other men had excited him, made him horny for sure, but butterflies in his stomach—that was something new.

Why should Arnie be different?

Because he is.

And Dominic was wasting time when he should be in the pub with him.

As he reached the main entrance, he came to a sudden halt. Gabriel was standing right outside. He groaned inwardly and wondered if he could sneak out another way.

Too late.

“Hey.” Gabriel smiled. “I saw you going in and figured you were done for the day. How about coming over for a drink and a bite to eat? You deserve it after a day like this.”

Dominic’s problem with Gabriel was entirely his own fault. It had been obvious for a while that their no-strings arrangement wasn’t as one-sided as it should be, as they’d intended at the start. Gabriel hadn’t said as much, but it was clear he wanted more than Dominic was prepared to give, and rather than put him straight, he’d allowed things to drift as they were, hoping Gabriel would get the hint if he cooled off toward him.

It was a coward’s solution.

“I’ve got other plans,” he said. “Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”

Stop trying to play the nice guy, he warned himself. For fuck’s sake, be a man and get it over with. It’ll be better in the long run.

“How about later?” Gabriel said, stepping closer and lowering his voice. “I should be done by ten thirty. Eleven at the latest. I could drop by your place.”

Tell him. Gabriel wasn’t quick to take a hint.

“No. I don’t think so. Look, I don’t want to be a dick about this, and I know that’s how it’ll sound. When we started, we both agreed that this was nothing more than a casual thing. Sex. That was it.”

Gabriel’s smiled was gone. “I know, but—”

“Let me finish,” Dominic said. “Nothing changed for me. I like you a lot, but it was never more than sex. I get the distinct impression you want more than that. Probably a lot more.”

“No. You’re wrong,” Gabriel protested without conviction. “I’ve never asked for anything from you.”

“Okay. I’ll accept that. Maybe I’m wrong.” A lie. He said it to avoid a scene and hated himself for it. “But we’ve been seeing more of each other than we ever intended, and if we keep that up, then it’s inevitable that deeper feelings will develop.”

“Would that be so terrible?” Gabriel’s voice was full of hurt. His brown eyes glistened.

“That wasn’t the deal,” Dominic said softly. “I don’t want anything more. I think it’s best that we put a stop to all of this. I know it sounds shitty, and I’m sorry. If it’s a relationship you’re looking for, I’m not the man for you.”

“You’re wrong,” Gabriel said, standing taller, raising his chin. “We are good together. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Everyone thinks we’re a couple. You realize that, don’t you?”

“Except we’re not.”

“We could be. Everyone says we’re perfect for each other.”

“Who the hell is everyone? Look, Gabriel, I don’t care what people think. It’s gone far enough. I’m sorry it means more to you than me. I never wanted that. And you told me you didn’t either. That’s how this started, remember? Because neither of us wanted more.”

“Is it because of Arnie?”

“What?”

“I saw you talking to him, not more than ten minutes ago. Don’t deny it.”

“I’m not. We were standing right there.”

“Are you dumping me for him?”

Dominic took a deep breath as frustration built inside him. This was not going well. He could have handled it so much better if he’d had the balls to do it earlier. “I’m not dumping you, because we’re not in a relationship. I’m not your boyfriend. I never was.”

“You were just fucking me, is that it?”

“Don’t do this. We were fucking each other. That’s all.”

“So I was sufficient until someone better came along.”

Dominic had had enough. “I never promised you anything. I made my intentions clear and they haven’t changed. If you harboured a hope that it was something meaningful, then I’m sorry. And if you thought I was using you, you could have stopped at any time. I didn’t lead you on, Gabriel. Maybe I let the situation continue for longer than it should have. If I did, I’m sorry. It’s over. You need to understand that. It has nothing to do with Arnie Walker. It’s you and me and no one else.”

“Tell yourself the bullshit,” Gabriel said, backing away. “Believe it all you want, if it makes you feel better, but things were fine between us until this week, and the only thing that changed was you meeting Arnie. You got a hard-on for him and suddenly you couldn’t give a shit about us.”

“There is no us,” he said exasperatedly.

Gabriel was already walking away. “Fuck you, Dominic. You’re just a prick.” He stomped in the direction of the restaurant.

Strangers stared at Dominic. Their argument had drawn attention. God damn it. This was exactly why he avoided relationships. Too much aggravation. Gabriel had been all for their uncomplicated arrangement in the beginning. He’d said he was done with disappointment and being let down. All he’d wanted was sex without the hassle.

Dominic should have known it wouldn’t be easy.

He felt like a bastard too. Gabriel was right about one thing—Arnie. Dominic’s feelings had changed since meeting him. Things with Gabriel had gone stale. They were seeing too much of each other. It had gotten more complicated than he wanted. Meeting Arnie made him see the situation with fresh eyes.

What did he want from Arnie? He didn’t know. Maybe friendship. Maybe nothing. Arnie’s personal circumstances and fame gave him cause to think twice. Celebrity and the attention that came with it was not for him. But he couldn’t stop thinking about him, imagining them together. He was a developing an infatuation, of a kind which he’d never felt for Gabriel.

Why should he feel guilty about that? He was a free agent. He could do anything he wanted.

Right now, he wanted a drink.

The Fisherman’s Arms was a typical old pub. It had one central bar with lots of nooks and annexes shooting off from it. It was very busy when he arrived. They also served food, and it was full of families and couples enjoying an early evening meal after the busy fair.

He found Arnie at a table in the wide bay window, overlooking the marina. He’d taken off his straw hat. After wearing it all afternoon, his thick blond hair was disheveled. It suited him, messing the image of the perfectly groomed actor to present a regular guy.

An exceptionally handsome regular guy.

There were two pint glasses on the table in front of him. Arnie only had a quarter left in his. He looked up as Dominic approached, and smiled.

The smile made Dominic forget about all the shit that had just happened.

“Sorry,” he said, taking the seat opposite Arnie. “That took a little longer than I expected.”

Arnie looked at him warmly. “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going anywhere. Sophie sent a text to say she won’t have AJ home until after eight. I intend to enjoy my freedom.” He gestured to the pint of lager in front of Dominic. “It’s lost its head, but if you’re quick, it should still be cold enough.”

Dominic picked up the glass and sipped gratefully. His thirst seemed unquenchable, and he downed a third of the drink straight away. “Oh, wow,” he gasped. “I needed that a lot more than I thought.”

Arnie smiled widely, crinkling his blue eyes. In the natural light of the window, they appeared cobalt. Arnie’s looks were breathtaking. Dominic didn’t know why that fact took him by surprise each time they met—how drop-dead gorgeous Arnie was. And how his heart beat faster when he saw him.

He reached for the pint again and took another long draught.

“So,” he said, pulling it together, “does this place live up to your memories of it?” He raised his eyebrows to indicate the surrounding bar.

Arnie followed his gaze. “Some of the furniture has been reupholstered, and there’s a new carpet in the entrance. Other than that, nothing has changed. I’d have been disappointed if it had.”

“I don’t come in here much,” Dominic said. “I can’t even remember the last time. Maybe last Guy Fawkes Night when we were out collecting.” I’m rambling. He didn’t know what else to say.

“I doubt I’d be bothered with it that much if I lived here. I think I just appreciate it more because I don’t. You miss things like this when you don’t have them. Or maybe I’m getting sentimental in my old age.”

“Hardly. What are you? Thirty?”

“Thirty-four.”

“You don’t look it. Whenever thirty-four is supposed to look like. Age means nothing once you’re over twenty-five. As long as you’ve got good health and the motivation to enjoy it.”

“How old are you? If you have all this wisdom.”

Dominic chuckled. “Thirty-seven, just last month.”

“Whatever it is you do, you must tell me your secret.”

“It’s doing what you love and enjoying life. Too many people don’t. Since I came to Nyemouth, all the pieces have fallen perfectly into place.”

Arnie finished his drink. Dominic went to the bar to get another two. He touched his forehead while he waited to be served. The skin was hot. Was he blushing? Arnie certainly had some kind of effect on him. Butterflies were dancing in his stomach.

“I finished your book,” Arnie said when he returned to the table.

“Which one?” he asked, draining his old glass.

“Hard to Kill.”

Arie rested his forearms on the table and leaned forward. Dominic breathed in the smell of him—the scent of his aftershave, the masculine odor of his body. It was heady and intoxicating. He imagined inhaling it fresh off his skin, from the hair on his chest or the intimacy of his groin. Suddenly there was a picture in his mind—Arnie standing above him in a pair of snug white briefs, Dominic pressing his face against the fullness of the cotton.

“That was my first book,” he said, snapping his focus back to the moment.

“It doesn’t read that way,” Arnie said. “It was very accomplished. I’ve always shied away from the action genre. I imagined they’d be too complicated to follow and dense with technology and info dumps. Your book wasn’t like that. Despite everything that was going on, all the characters and double crosses, it was an easy read.”

“Thank you. That’s one of the best things a writer can hear. No one wants to be told they a wrote a difficult read, or that it was a struggle to follow.”

“I’m not just saying it to flatter you. I mean it. My dad has given me another one to read. Die Trying.”

“I believe you,” he said, laughing. “And thank you again. When my next one comes out, I’ll ask you to give a quote for the cover.”

Arnie sipped his beer, licked foam from his top lip then said, “You used a pen name, but the author bio at the back, that sounds true. You were in the Royal Marines and Special Boat Service, right?”

“Yes, that’s all true. It’s only the pen name that’s made up.”

“Is that because of the Official Secrets Act?”

“No,” he said, bemused. “That would only come into play if I wanted to write a memoir. Because my books are all fiction, it doesn’t matter. I decided to use a pen name for privacy. I would probably sell more copies if I put a photo on the cover and went on a publicity tour, signing books and giving readings, that kind of thing.”

“Why don’t you? If it means selling more.”

“I don’t want to, and I don’t need to. The books have done all right. Well enough for them to publish more. I’m happy to be an unknown author.”

“I understand that.” Arnie looked straight into his eyes, without embarrassment, seemingly without fear of intimacy. “How long were you in the services?”

“Fourteen years in all. I joined at eighteen rather than go to university. It was the making of me, though I suppose it was already in my blood. My father was in the RAF and we moved around a lot when I was young. I loved everything about the life. The service, the discipline, the honour and the travel. The danger and excitement. I’ve always been somewhat of an adrenaline junkie and the marines was perfectly suited to that. That’s why I applied to the Boat Service when I was twenty-six, to chase a bigger high.”

“Why give it up when you loved it so much?”

He shrugged. “Everything has its time, I suppose. I was in my early thirties and ready for something different. All I’d ever known were the services. I wanted something…normal. A house, a dog, a place to call home at last.”

“And you came here?”

“I don’t know why I chose this town over any other. I wanted space, so a city was out of the question. I wanted a project, and the house was pretty run down when I bought it, so the redevelopment kept me busy. And there was the lifeboat, which satisfied my love of the sea and my need for action.”

Talking to Arnie was easy. Dominic opened up to him in ways he wouldn’t have thought possible. The only other person he could communicate with like this was Jacob, and they had been friends for years.

“You sound like superman,” Arnie said in a good-natured way. “Your books, the lifeboat, renovating your own house. There doesn’t appear to be anything you can’t turn your hand to.”

“I’m not much of a cook,” he said with a laugh. “What about you? I feel like I’ve done all the talking. Tell me something about you.”

Arnie sighed. “I hate talking about myself. Whenever I have a movie or a show to promote, I end up doing a long round of press and answer the same old questions. Most of my answers are pre-rehearsed.”

“So, tell me something real. Not about Arnie the actor. I want to know about the man and the father.”

“That’s even harder to do.”

“Okay. Tell me what you hate. What pisses you off? I mean really drives you mad.”

He took another sip of beer, seeming to give it some thought. “I can’t stand rudeness and unprofessionalism. Even worse, when those things go together. Actors or directors who treat people on the crew like shit, like they’re nothing. Everyone had a job to do and they’re all equally important to a production. I hate it when people don’t get that.”

“What else?”

“Buffets,” he said with a laugh. “I can’t stand buffets.”

“What’s wrong with them?”

Arnie screwed up his face. “Everything. Standing in line, the indecision, piling up a plate with crap you really don’t want to eat. There’s so much waste.”

Dominic laughed. “I don’t think I agree, but I can see where you’re coming from. Sort of. Now tell me about something you do like.”

“Okay,” Arnie said, getting into it. “I love Italian food. Greek too. Especially their lamb dishes. I like red wine and vodka cocktails.”

“We’ll have to differ there. I hate red wine. I don’t much like wine at all. But I’m with you on the food. I love Greek and Italian cooking.”

“Wine goes perfectly with that kind of food. A nice bottle of red with a slow-cooked piece of lamb or beef. I can’t imagine anything better.”

Arnie looked him straight in the eyes. His pupils were large and dilated. Dominic was suddenly emboldened. What was he waiting for? There might never be another chance like this one.

“Would you like to go out with me?” The words came freely from his mouth. “If you like that kind of food, we’ve got some great restaurants all along the coast. I’d love to check them out. Maybe you can even convert me about the wine.”

Arnie’s broad smile grew straight and serious. The silence as he looked across the table was interminable. Fuck. I’ve read the signals completely wrong. He isn’t interested in me at all. Why would he be?

Arnie’s eyes were hard to read. “What about Gabriel?”

Dominic swallowed before answering. “What about him?”

“I thought you two were an item,” Arnie said, tilting his head to one side.

“An item? Why? Did he tell you we were?”

“No. Actually, he didn’t. It was my mother who did.”

Dominic let out a long breath. “That’s the downside of living in a small town. Everyone thinks they know what’s going on.”

Arnie leaned closer. “Sorry. I took her at her word. Does that mean you’re not seeing him?”

Damn it! What should he do now? Lie? No, that was not the way forward. He liked Arnie too much to lie to him now. It could fuck up any chance he might have.

“We had a thing,” he said, struggling for a way to describe the situation that didn’t sound completely sleazy. “I think your mother, and a few other people, would like it to be a lot more than that, but the truth is, it isn’t. It never was.”

“I don’t understand. Are you seeing him or not?”

“There’s no nice way of putting this, so I’ll just say it. We were fuck buddies.”

Arnie’s eyebrows shot up and he sat back in his seat.

“Sorry,” Dominic continued, watching his chances slip away. “That’s all it ever was. Just two guys helping each other out. We didn’t go on dates or buy each other presents. It was just sex. We can’t have been as discreet as I thought we were if people are talking, but that’s all that we were, friends with benefits.”

Arnie smiled and shook his head. His shock and disappointment were obvious. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”

“I want to. And I’m not asking you out because I expect the same from you. There’s nothing between me and Gabriel. I don’t want the idea to colour your judgement of me. I want to go out with you because I’m interested in you. I feel something for you. I don’t know what it is, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met last Sunday.” Now his mouth was running wild on him, but he couldn’t stop. Maybe Arnie wasn’t interested. Maybe he didn’t fancy him. He could handle that. He just didn’t want to be rejected over some misunderstanding with Gabriel.

Arnie leaned forward again. “I like you too,” he said quietly. “A lot. It’s just that there’s so much going on in my life right now. I brought AJ here to give him some stability, and I don’t think the time is right for me to start seeing someone. Not when his mother is splashed all over the media.”

Dominic would not give in that easily. “I get that, and I’m willing to take things as quietly and as slowly as you want them. Let me take you out somewhere, this week, next week, I don’t care when—just give me something to hope for.”

Arnie looked at him carefully, seemingly undecided.

“If the thing about Gabriel bothers you, why not talk to him first?” Dominic pressed. “He might not be thrilled at the idea, but I know you’re old friends. I don’t think he’d lie to you.”

“That might be an awkward conversation,” Arnie said with a hint of amusement. “Would you be okay if I went to dinner with your fuck buddy? As long you’re done with him, of course.”

“I’ll speak to him on your behalf,” he said.

“You sure are keen,” Arnie said, breaking into a broad grin. “All right. I’ll take a chance on you.”

“You will?” His soul rose up.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Let’s say this week sometime. I don’t have your freedom. I’ll need to talk someone into babysitting. I’ll let you know tomorrow when I get something arranged.”

“Any time you like. I don’t have any other plans, and if I did, I’d change them.”

Dominic’s smile was uncontrollable. Today had been a triumph in all sorts of ways, and now it had just got better.