Lucy stirred the beans and then began to make cornbread for supper. The roundup was almost over, and she would be glad to get out of the dust and noise. And the smell! She wrinkled her nose. Margaret’s words echoed in her mind. Did she expect too much of herself? And she had to admit she took pride in doing more and giving more than other people.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she pressed her lips together and beat the cornbread batter as if it were the cause of all her turmoil. Tears never solved anything, but lately it seemed she was on the verge of them all the time.
While the cornbread was baking, she walked over to watch the last of the roundup. A thrill of joy shot through her as she watched Nate astride his black gelding. He’d only bought the horse last week—a magnificent animal. Man and horse were well matched. Nate’s powerful arms controlled the huge creature as an ordinary man would a pony, while his muscular thighs dared the horse to try to throw him.
Nate’s sandy hair was already beginning to lighten from the spring sunshine. He was a man who would turn heads no matter where he lived or what he did. Margaret rode next to him. She had that same vitality and vigor Nate possessed. But Margaret said she didn’t want Nate. How could any woman say that and mean it? Nate had but to crook his finger, and any woman would want him. Lucy’s heart clenched. She would earn his love somehow.
He wheeled around on his horse and saw her. A tender smile accompanied the hand he lifted in greeting. Nate cantered over and looked down at her from his saddle. “You’ve been in hiding all day. You getting used to the noise and commotion?”
She smiled. “I just thought I’d look to see how Jed was doing.” And she had a need to see her husband, but she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t get enough of looking at him lately. What would he think of that if he knew?
Nate pointed out a group of riders across the field from them. “Rusty is teaching him to rope. He’s picking it up pretty well, though on his first few attempts he managed to rope the fence post instead of the calf.”
“You’ve done so much for him. He actually likes work, and he’s got a confidence I’ve never seen him show before. Thank you, Nate.”
The tenderness in his gaze sucked the breath from her lungs. The expressions on his face and the solicitousness of his manner for the past two days had Lucy pondering. Was he really not disappointed in the bargain anymore? She was afraid to hope for that.
“Jed’s a good boy. He’ll be an asset on the cattle drive next week.” He looked over her head. “Here comes Pa with Eileen.”
Lucy turned and waved.
“I’ve missed her. She keeps things lively.”
Lucy laughed. “I think things have been plenty lively around here.”
“At least Zeke didn’t show up.”
Lucy gasped. “Um, just where did you turn that spider loose?”
Nate grinned. “Far from here. But spiders can travel a far piece. Want to take a walk in the moonlight tonight and look for him? He might come if I call.”
In spite of herself, Lucy felt the corners of her mouth turn up. “No thanks. I might have to ask you to stomp on him.”
“I’d do it for you.”
His gray eyes seemed to reach into her soul with an emotion she hadn’t seen there before. What was going on in his head? A lump formed in Lucy’s throat. “You—you would?”
His gaze caressed her face. “I reckon I’d do most anything for you, Lucy.”
How did she answer that? Before she could make a fool of herself, Eileen and Henry reached them.
“This little girl is pert near pining herself to death for you,” Henry said in a booming voice. “I tried reading her a story, and Percy even offered to let her help bake cookies, which was a big sacrifice since he never lets anyone in his kitchen.” He caught Lucy’s gaze. “Except for you, Lucy.”
Eileen threw herself at Lucy’s legs and began to clamber up them like she would a tree. “Lucy, we baked-ed cookies with raisins. Percy let me put the raisins in.”
Lucy hugged her, relishing the feel of her small body. “You’re getting to be a big girl, sweetie. Did you thank Percy?”
Eileen nodded and her blond ponytail whipped in the breeze. She gazed up at Nate’s horse. “Can I pet him?”
“How about a ride on Morgan?” Nate said. “Want to come too, Lucy?”
She glanced back at the chuck wagon. “I really should check on the cornbread.” But the thought of being next to her husband for just a few minutes was almost too enticing to resist.
“I’ll watch it,” Henry said. “You go ahead with Nate.”
The pleased expression he wore brought a smile to Lucy’s lips.
Nate held out a hand. “Pa, you hold Eileen until I get Lucy up here, then she can put Eileen in front of her.”
Eileen held out her arms to Henry. “Grandpa, you want to come too?”
Henry lifted her into his arms. “No thanks, pumpkin. That horse of Nate’s won’t let just anyone ride him. You and your sister are special.”
Eileen preened. “We’re special, Lucy.”
Nate slid back in the saddle, then gripped Lucy’s hand and lifted her up in front of him. Henry handed Eileen up to her, while Nate reached around Lucy’s waist and took the reins. He smelled of horse and leather with a hint of spice from his hair tonic. His breath ruffled her hair, and without thinking Lucy leaned back against his chest.
The shock of contact slicked her palms with perspiration, and she swallowed. Touching him just made her realize all she was missing. After taking a deep breath, she started to ease forward, but his left arm came around her waist and pulled her closer. She could feel the hard muscles of his chest against her back, and he rested his chin on her head.
“Faster, Nate!” Eileen kicked her little legs and giggled.
Nate obliged by digging his heels into Morgan’s ribs. The horse broke into a canter. Eileen loosened her grip on Lucy’s arm and clapped. They rode with the scent of sage and creosote blowing in their faces.
Finally Eileen tugged on Lucy’s arm. “I have to go potty,” she said in a loud whisper.
Lucy nodded and told Nate. He pulled on the reins and stopped beside a rocky outcropping on the far side of the men. He slid to the ground and reached up to lift Eileen down.
“Wait for your sister,” he told her.
His big hands spanned Lucy’s waist as he lifted her from the saddle. Setting her on the ground mere inches from him, she had to fight an urge to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head on his chest. What would he do if she did that? His gray eyes were somber, and his hands still held her. She stepped away. Tearing her gaze from his, she turned to check on Eileen.
A rattle sounded to their right. Eileen stood only two feet from a coiled rattler. “Eileen, no!” Lucy hurtled toward her sister. A split second later the rattler struck at Eileen, but Lucy got there first. The fangs sank into Lucy’s right forearm, then pulled back for another strike. Eileen was shrieking, but Lucy felt nothing at first. Then a boom sounded, and a bullet slammed into the snake, driving its still-writhing body away.
Nate was there instantly, kneeling beside her. Two tiny puncture wounds oozing blood was all the damage Lucy could see, so she didn’t understand why his face was so white. She felt fine. The snake must not have had much venom.
“Let me see.” His voice was terse.
She cradled Eileen with her good arm and held the right one up like a child offering a gift. Dizziness suddenly swamped her. Then the pain struck, deep, burning pain. Lucy bit her lip in an effort not to cry out. She gritted her teeth against the agony.
Nate took her arm in one hand, reaching into his pocket with the other. “Pa!” he bellowed across the field.
The rowdy, boisterous calls of the roundup faded until there was just Nate’s white face and Eileen’s keening cry. Lucy held on to both to keep herself conscious. She mustn’t frighten Eileen. Her sister clung to her and she patted her hand weakly.
Nate scooped Lucy up in his arms. Henry took Eileen, and they both ran with their burdens toward the fire. Nate pulled his pocketknife out of his dungarees and heated it in the fire. He held it poised over Lucy’s arm, an apology in his eyes.
His fingers bit into her flesh, but Lucy didn’t cry out. The deeper pain of the bite was too great. She fought nausea and breathed deeply.
“This will hurt,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, love.” Then the knife plunged down into Lucy’s arm, and he made two slits over the puncture wounds.
The pain bit into her and she cried out. Circles of blackness came and went in her vision. Nate brought the cuts to his mouth. He sucked, then spat bright blood. Again he sucked the poison from her wounds and spat it out.
Time lost all meaning for Lucy as she watched her husband battle to save her life. She felt far away, as if this were all happening to someone else. Her vision blurred and chills ravaged her. She tried to speak, to tell him not to do this. Nate was risking his own life to save hers. If he had a cut in his mouth, the poison would kill him. She had brought him no blessing. She’d been a curse instead. But the words wouldn’t come. Her numb tongue was thick in her mouth. She closed her eyes and welcomed the blackness.
“YEEHAW!” NATE LASHED the whip over the horses’ heads as he drove the rig toward home. Her head on Jed’s lap, Lucy lolled bonelessly in the back. Nate didn’t know another time he’d been this afraid. Not when the fire burned down the barn, not when the Red River flood came almost to the house. His knuckles white, he urged the horses to go faster.
Dust kicked up behind him as he jerked the team to a halt in front of the main house. He scooped up Lucy and carried her into the house and up the steps to his old bedroom. His boot heels echoed emptily on the polished wood floors. Lucy’s welfare landed squarely on his own shoulders.
He laid her in the bed. “Bring me that bowl and pitcher of water,” he told Jed. Jed sprang to obey and brought the washcloth as well. Nate loosened the buttons on her shirt and began to sponge her with the damp cloth.
Lucy thrashed and cried out. Nate felt helpless as he watched her agony. He wished he could take it for her. Rattler venom could kill even a hardy man, let alone a tiny thing like Lucy.
The front door banged, and moments later he heard his father’s voice.
“Nate, how is she?” His father’s voice was loud in the quiet room.
“Still unconscious.”
“Doc will be here shortly. I sent Rusty after him.” His pa stood at the foot of the bed, his big hands gripping the bedpost.
“Where’s Eileen?”
“Percy has her. He’ll be along with her in a few hours, once we’re sure Lucy is out of danger.”
He stared at his father. “Will she be out of danger, Pa? What if she doesn’t make it?” The question was an anguished cry from his heart. He felt like a child again, needing assurance from the one stable thing in his life. “How did you bear it when Ma died?”
His pa was silent for a moment, his dark eyes moist and faraway. “One day at a time, Nate. I made it one day at a time.” He leaned over and gripped Nate’s hand. “It will be all right, son.”
“We have to pray.” Nate felt Jed’s fingers creep into his hand, and he squeezed them with more reassurance than he felt. He bowed his head. “Oh Lord, we can only ask for your mercy right now. Don’t take Lucy from us.” His throat closed, and he couldn’t speak. Jed gave a slight sob.
His thoughts were too jumbled to even voice out loud, but he knew the Holy Spirit was there to speak them to the Lord. Jed sniffled, and Nate raised his head. They all stared at Lucy until the door banged again and the doctor came bustling down the hall.
“How’s my patient?” Doc set his black bag on the foot of the bed.
Lucy’s face was ashen against the white pillow. Doc examined her pupils, then pressed his stethoscope to her chest. Nate held his breath and continued to pray.
Doc straightened. “Her heartbeat is pretty irregular, Nate. I won’t lie to you. It’s going to be pretty touch and go through the night. Keep sponging her off with water and try to get some water down her as well.” He gripped Nate’s arm and peered into his face. “How about you? Suffering any ill effects from sucking out that poison? Any sores in your mouth?”
Nate shook the doctor’s arm off impatiently. “I’m fine. Do you think she’ll make it, Doc?”
The doctor shrugged, his brown eyes kind. “Do I look like God, son? Sometimes I feel all I do is travel around to watch him work. It’s like offering a thimble of water to help the ocean. You are already appealing to the only one who can decide that.” He snapped his bag closed. “There’s nothing I can do for her, Nate. She’ll likely wake up soon, but she’ll be hurting some. I’ll leave some laudanum here to give her. If she gets worse, send Percy for me.”
Nate nodded, and Pa walked the doctor to the front door. Jed sighed and sat in the chair beside his sister. Putting his face in his hands, he gave a huge sigh. Nate put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get through this together, Jed.”
Jed raised wet eyes to meet his gaze. “What will happen to us if—if Lucy dies?” he whispered.
Nate knelt beside him. “We’re a family now. I’ll take care of you and Eileen no matter what. Don’t you worry about anything. I love you, Jed. You and Eileen both.”
He flung his arms around Nate’s neck and burst into noisy sobs. Nate pulled him tight against his chest and patted his back.
“What’s all that caterwauling?” Lucy’s voice was weak. She struggled to sit up, then whimpered. Gasping, she gripped her stomach, and her face went a shade whiter. “Water,” she whispered.
“I’ll get it!” Jed rushed from the room.
Nate knelt beside the bed and touched Lucy’s cheek. “Feeling pretty bad?”
“Like the barn fell on me.” She tried to smile but moaned instead.
Nate smoothed the hair back from her forehead. “You’re going to be fine. The doctor was just here. We’ll have some rough next few hours, but you hang on.”
Her fingers crept across the top of the quilt and gripped his hand. “If I don’t make it, Nate—”
“Hush, don’t even think that way.” Now that she was awake, he felt a surge of hope, and not even Lucy could be allowed to dampen it.
“Jed and Eileen—”
“Don’t worry about them. They’ll be fine.”
“But if something should happen, if I don’t pull through this—”
Nate caressed her cheek. “Rest, love. I’ll take care of Jed and Eileen.”
Relief lit her face, then cramps struck her, and she doubled up in agony. Nate felt helpless watching her suffer. Remembering the laudanum, he snatched it up and uncapped the bottle. He slid an arm under her and managed to get a swallow down her. Gasping, she fell back against the pillow.
Jed brought back the water, and Nate gave Lucy a drink. Once she was sleeping again, he talked Jed into getting some rest, promising to call him if there was any change.
FOR THREE DAYS Nate sat for long hours in the chair beside Lucy, offering her sips of water between bouts of sickness and sleeping. Her chills finally eased, and a bit of color began to come back to her cheeks. Nate was bleary-eyed with fatigue, and when she closed her eyes, he dropped to the floor and rested his head against the mattress.
Lucy’s fingers entwined in his hair. “There’s room in the bed for you.”
He raised his head and stared into her blue eyes. She’d made it over the hump. He could see it in her tender smile and pink cheeks. Without another word, she pulled back the quilt and scooted back against the wall. Nate pulled off his boots and crawled into the bed.
He stretched out his arm, and Lucy curled up against his side. The sensation of someone else in the bed was a strange one, but something he thought he could get used to pretty quickly. Her breathing evened out, and he relaxed himself. She was asleep. Now if he could do the same. His mind whirled. When she was fully recovered, they would have to have a long talk. It was time to take up their lives together in earnest.
AN UNFAMILIAR WEIGHT pressed against Lucy’s waist, and she opened her eyes to find herself facing the wall in an unfamiliar room. She tried to move her arm and winced. The pain brought the memories flooding back. She looked down to see what pinned her in place and found an arm. Nate’s arm.
Shock rippled through her, and she eased away and sat up. Last night his face had been tight with worry and fatigue. Now sleep had eased the lines and tension. A wave of love swept over her, and she reached over and smoothed the hair back from his face. His eyes flew open, and she stared deep into their depths.
A smile curved his firm lips. “Good morning. How do you feel?”
She responded with an answering smile. “A little sore and weak, but better I think.” Much better, in fact. She felt clearheaded. And hungry.
He lifted his hand, and his fingers grazed her cheek. “You look lovely.”
Heat flooded her cheeks, and she tore her gaze away. She glanced toward the sunshine streaming through the window. “What day is it?”
“Thursday. You’ve been out for three days.”
She gasped at that news. She’d interfered with the ranch. “When do you leave for the cattle drive?”
“You eager to get rid of me?”
Her gaze flew to meet his again. “Of course not. I—I just thought you’d be gone already.”
“I wasn’t about to leave my wife.”
The cattle drive was important, so his desire to be with her told her as much as the tender expression in his eyes. “Where’s Jed?”
“In the kitchen. You want to see the children? They’ve been so worried.”
She nodded. “Was I so terribly sick?”
He leaned closer and pressed his warm lips against her cheek. “I almost lost you, Lucy. Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
She smiled. “I’ll try not to.”
He kissed her again. “I’ll send the children in. I need to see about finding another cook. Marcus broke his leg yesterday. I can see we’re going to have several weeks of hardtack and poor grub, but we’ll live.” He tucked the quilt around her, obviously reluctant to leave. “I’ll be right back.” He swung his legs out of bed and went to the door.
Lucy watched him leave, but a hard rock of determination grew within her. She’d failed at the roundup, but she would prove to him she could stand toe-to-toe with Margaret. Earning his love might not be easy, but it would be worth it.
NATE SHOOK HIS head as he walked to the barn to help with chores. The gal had spunk. He was almost giddy with relief that she’d pulled through. It had been touch and go for way too long.
Eileen was in the barn playing with the kittens. She sat on the straw with six kittens tumbling over her lap. “Can I take one home, Nate?”
“Not until they’re weaned from their mama.” He stooped to talk to her. “Which one do you want?”
“I like the white one.” She held it up to her cheek. “She has one blue eye and one green one.”
“So she does.”
Eileen stared up at him. Her lip began to quiver. “Is my Lucy going to go to heaven?”
He sat cross-legged beside her and pulled her onto his lap. “Not anytime soon. I just talked to her, and she ate breakfast.”
The child began to sob noisily. “I don’t want her to go to heaven. Not ever. My daddy went to heaven, and I never get to see him anymore. I want Lucy to stay with me.”
He stroked her hair. “She’s going to stay with you, honey. I love her so much that I’d fight the devil himself to keep her.”
She hiccupped, then her tears subsided. “Lucy doesn’t think you love her. You said she was too little. Don’t you like little girls?”
He hugged her. “Little girls are my favorite. I love Lucy, but it’s a secret. Don’t tell her, okay? I want to tell her myself.”
Her small hands patted his face. “Little girls are okay?”
“I love you, Eileen. I want to be your daddy and big brother all rolled into one. Is that okay?”
Her blue eyes were enormous as she stared at him. “Can I call you Papa?”
A lump formed in his throat. “I’d like that very much. Promise you won’t tell Lucy yet?”
She held up her small hand. “Pinky swear?”
He hooked her little finger with his. “Pinky swear. I’ll let you know when you can talk about it. It will be soon.”
But when? If he told her before he left, he wasn’t sure he could go.