Chapter Thirty-Six

 

Melissa opened her eyes. She was lying on her side and Darius had his arm wrapped around her waist. Her nightgown rested above her stomach. She tried to slip out of bed without waking him. A few more minutes in this position and trouble would be next.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m pregnant. I gotta pee.”

He moved his arm. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

“Not as good as you evidently.” She pointed to his erection.

“Why don’t you hurry back and help a brother out.” He put his hands behind his head and bared his chest. Last night, nestling in Darius’s arms reminded her of one of the things she missed.

Instead of going back into the bedroom, she turned on the shower and stepped under the water. Most of the night she’d pretended to sleep. But every time his rod stiffened against her, she’d wanted to reach for him. He probably didn’t even know what his body was doing, but she caught every note. If only she could get her body to obey her mind. Not only had the baby taken over her appetite, her sexual desire had taken over her ability to think rationally.

She adjusted the temperature to as cool as she could stand it and stepped inside the stall. For several minutes, she allowed the water to wash over her body and relieve her hot skin. Water cascaded over her shoulders, and her heart, flooding her body until the overwhelming desire for Darius began to decrease.

When she stepped out, she was in control. She wrapped herself in a towel and peaked into the bedroom. The bed was empty. At least she would be able to dress without him staring at her or having to order him out of the room.

She pulled on shorts and a tee shirt, then strolled into the kitchen while trying to control her damp hair with a scrunchie. Not her best fashion statement, but eating was more important than her appearance.

“You folded all those clothes? And look how neat the stacks are.”

“Yeah, I figured we needed to get some kind of order around here. I hope you didn’t want to keep any of the boxes. I took them all out last night.” He pushed the lever on the toaster.

“Thanks, Darius. That was sweet of you. And now you’re cooking?”

“I notice if you eat on time, you are a lot happier. I’m doing my part for world peace.” He placed a plate in front of her.

She sat at the glass table and popped a strip of bacon into her mouth. “I can’t argue with your logic. The eggs are cooked just right.”

He also poured a glass of milk and set it in front of her before sitting down. “Do you want to talk about last night?”

“What part? My fears or the way you poked me all night long?”

“The poking couldn’t be helped. You slept with your butt against me. But I was talking about what you said. About being worried.”

She smeared the toast with a large glob of strawberry jam and took a bite. After swallowing, she said, “I worry about being a good mother. The gallery is new/. It needs my attention. But, the baby comes first, so I don’t know how I’m going to swing everything.”

“And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re doing all your stuff?”

She put her fork down. “I can’t make assumptions about us. We are in a state of limbo. You keep ignoring the divorce papers, but everything between us is the same.”

His eyes darkened. “Melissa, sometimes I don’t think you’re even trying.”

“Trying what? We’ve been living in this two-bedroom condo for over a month and we’re both still alive. You’re not giving me the credit I’m due.”

“I think you’re failing to give me my props. My hours at the make-shift studio across town are regular. I’m home every night, whether you show up for dinner or not.” He pushed out his chest. “I’m even cooking for you. And all this from a man who used to get his meals from a can.”

She dropped her eyes to her empty plate. He was right. His transition back into her life had been so seamless she hadn’t had a chance to resist. On slow nights at the gallery, she left closing to her assistant, to come home and watch baseball with him. When had her life changed course?

“You’re right. I guess I saw it but didn’t fully understand everything you’re doing. But, I’m not ready to take your hand and run off into the sunset. You have to understand my reluctance. I still want to take one day at a time. Just having a baby is enough to handle right now.”

He pushed back from the table, nearly tipping his chair over. “I cooked. You get to load the dishwasher.”

Turbo followed him out of the kitchen, and minutes later, the front door closed behind them.

In the silence of the apartment, she cleaned the kitchen. Mim always said a tiger doesn’t change his stripes. But, Darius resembled someone different. Instead of putting himself first, he actually thought about her comfort first. Even last night, he had held her until she fell asleep.

She picked up the baby clothes and walked back to her room. After placing them on the dresser, she gathered her drawing supplies and stepped onto the balcony. Without any visible neighbors, she settled into the chaise and sketched a new version of the man she married.

****

Darius opened the apartment door and Turbo bounded inside. The place was quiet. Melissa had to be hiding in her room. He placed the leash in the entry closet.

Since she was avoiding him, he could listen to any oldies he wanted. He selected a Diana Washington and Brook Benton single and placed it on the turntable. While the two crooned You Got What It Takes, he flopped in the chair and laced his fingers across his stomach.

His understanding of pregnant women was minimal, but Melissa had created a new class. There were at least two more months before the baby arrived, and if she thought he would spend them kissing her feet, she was mistaken.

He pushed off the chair and stalked down the hall. He knocked on her bedroom door but entered before she could respond. The room was empty, but the door leading to the balcony was open.

“We need to talk.”

She put the tablet down and lifted her sunglasses. “Okay, what about?”

He sat beside her. “You’re not running the whole show. I know you think you have indignation on your side, but so do I.”

“Go on. You’re wearing your serious face, so you might as well get what’s bothering you off your chest.” She smirked.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are. You could bust a seam right now, couldn’t you?”

“I’m really trying, Melissa. We haven’t had a major blow up since I moved in. But, you only want to focus on the past. What do you expect from me, from us? You can’t fall into happiness. It’s something you build with the trials and tribulations of life.”

She adjusted her position on the chair to face him. “How many trials do you have to experience before you walk away?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask my mother.” He had to squint against the sun to see her.

She ran her finger across his chin. “You need to shave.”

Melissa could find a way to maneuver out of a grave. Her smile and touch made the point of his conversation less important.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I had everything all planned out, and you showed up again.” She trailed her hand through his stubble.

“No, you showed up. And I’m glad you did.”

She lifted an eyebrow but didn’t respond.

The slow crawl of her hand under his shirt kindled a slow simmer in the center of his soul that radiated to every extremity.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” He couldn’t hide the desire in his voice.

“I know I’m horny as hell and you’re here.” She pressed her lips against his neck and climbed into his lap.

“Aren’t you worried about your neighbors seeing you?”

“Nobody can see us.” She continued to kiss his neck, darting her tongue along her flesh.

“In that case…” He lifted her shirt. She extended her arms and slipped out of the top. Without a bra on, her large, heavy breasts filled his palms. He hoisted her higher with his knees. With gentle pressure, he rubbed his thumb over one nipple while circling the other with his tongue.

“Take off your shirt.” She pushed her hand into the elastic of his pants and held his rod with a firm hand.

He lifted her up.

“What are you doing?” She swung her legs off the chaise and stood.

“I was going to carry you inside.” He removed his clothes.

“Uh uh. I want to make love right here.” She pulled off her shorts. With the sun behind her, every curve was accentuated.

He ran his hands along her silhouette. “You are gorgeous.”

“I’m fat. Why are you staring at me like that?

“Because you’ve never looked more beautiful. You’re carrying my child and you I know now that I adore you. And I’m not afraid of that feeling anymore.” The emotion swelling in his chest was powerful. The feeling of being vulnerable was both extraordinary and scary.

“In all the right places.” He cupped his hands behind her head and lowered his mouth to her. She parted her lips just enough to accept his tongue as he laid her down on the chaise.

All he wanted to do was please and love her. He ran his tongue along her collarbone, then between her breasts. She arched her back as he continued his descent to the sweet spot between her thighs. Each time she called his name, it sounded like a song.

With each slow steady stroke, she released a groan that stroked his desire too. She grabbed his earlobes. Her legs tightened around him and her body jerked with tiny spasms.

When her body relaxed, she eased her hips down on the chair and loosened her hold on him. “Oh, Darius.”

He kissed each side of her inner thighs. “Yes.”

“What are we doing? This isn’t going to help us,” she said.

“Well, it certainly didn’t hurt us.”

She flipped on her side to face him. “You know what I mean. Sex confuses everything.”

The morning sun moved behind a cloud, allowing the terrace to cool just a bit. There weren’t any easy answers on what would happen next, and he was okay with not knowing. The casual pattern they’d slipped into worked. For now, he didn’t need to pull back the curtain and examine life closer.