“I’m not leaving,” I say. Dan turns to me. His red-rimmed green eyes narrow as he looks at me. “What?” I ask. Dan’s gaze drops to my stomach.
“Sydney, I think you should go with him.”
“What!” My voice cracks, all the damn crying I’ve been doing breaking it.
“Our power supply is unstable, Sydney. The volcano could erupt again. I think you should get off this island.”
“You have a broken leg,” I say, accusation lacing my voice.
Dan cocks his head like I’m making no sense. I swallow, realizing that I am, in fact, not making sense. “You’re about to give birth,” he points out.
“I don’t want to leave,” I say.
Dan’s mouth turns down and he swivels his chair to more fully face me. He reaches out and puts his hand on my knee. “Sydney.” His voice is gentle yet firm, like he’s talking to a good friend who is making a bad decision. That would be me, I’m the good friend making the bad decision. Dammit. “You have to go.”
“I’m not leaving until I see the body,” I say, swallowing, my brain latching onto that idea like it might save me even though I know it won’t.
“You are going to give birth soon. New life. Shouldn’t that be the priority?” Dan says, his voice low, careful, but forceful.
I shake my head, tears welling. “I have to find him.”
“He is dead.” Dan takes in a deep stuttering breath. Heat builds behind my eyes. Mulberry is up there in a charred ruin behind a sealed door. He sacrificed himself to save us. I can’t stand it. “Would he want you to stay here and search for his remains? Or would he want you to leave? To get to safety. Get your child, his child, to safety. Please, Sydney. Get on that plane and fucking go.”
“But,” I chew on my lower lip. “It’s not right, Dan. I should stay and help.” A pang in my low back makes me swallow hard.
“Help us by leaving. That way Dr. Guilder can focus on the injured. Sydney, think.” He squeezes my knee and I blink against more burning tears.
I can’t think, my throat is closing. All I can do is shake my head. Dan uses his desk to stand. He holds out his hand. I take it. He pulls me up and into a hug, pressing me against his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist. We hold each other tight—and I snuffle into his shirt. “You’re right,” I say. “I just.”
“I know, Sydney. I understand. But…” He holds me even tighter. “There is no chance he survived. Mulberry is dead.” A sob shakes loose and tears escape. “He would not want you to risk your life and your child’s life to stay here for a dead man.”
The next sob takes me, the beast powerful and hungry. I press my face into Dan’s shirt. He holds me back, squats a little so our eyes are at the same level. “You are Sydney Motherfucking Rye, do the right fucking thing. Even if it’s taking care of yourself.”
I nod, swiping at my eyes. “Okay,” I say.
He nods, straightening. “Good.” Dan reaches into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a car fob. “Take this,” he says, holding it out to me. I sniffle and stare down at it, not understanding. “That’s access to our cryptocurrency.”
“What would I do with it?” I ask. It looks like a normal car key fob, has a lock and unlock button. Dan pushes a silver slide on the side and a USB-C pops out. “I connect it to a computer?”
Dan huffs a laugh. “Yeah, this is a backup. I’m giving it to you just in case. Rebecca has one too, and she is off island, but just in case. I wanted you to have one.”
“Okay.” I take it. The fob feels light and inconsequential. I slip it into my pocket.
“Just in case, if you need anything.” Dan holds my gaze, as if he is trying to communicate without words. “Go,” he says, then pulls me back into another tight hug. I squeeze him back. Saying goodbye feels dangerous. Will I ever see him again? Dan pulls away, swiping a kiss on my forehead. “Love you,” he says.
“Love you, too. I’ll see you soon.”
He smiles at me and blinks. Something in his eyes says he’s not so sure about that. I can’t tell if it’s him or me he thinks will disappear.