BREAKFAST

 

You know what they say: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hell, yeah! How else are you going to motivate yourself to stop hitting the snooze button and get moving for those early classes? And forget those grease-laden breakfasts that just make you more tired. These recipes will keep your energized and full, at least until the dining hall opens for lunch. There’s nothing more embarrassing than hearing your stomach growl echo throughout a lecture hall, but don’t worry; we’ve got you covered. The best thing about these recipes is that you can enjoy them whenever you’re in need of a little breakfasty goodness—whether the sun’s just coming up or about to go down.

DID YOU KNOW?

Eggs are horrible for your health. A single egg has as much cholesterol as three servings of beef tenderloin. (All vegan foods are cholesterol free.) Many grocery-store eggs are infected with salmonella, a dangerous type of bacteria that causes diarrhea and fever in humans. Yuck.

BREAKFAST/DESSERT PARFAIT

Perfect for those days when you can’t tell where last night ended and today began.

1/2 cup granola

1 (6-ounce) container vegan yogurt (vanilla or fruitflavored)

1 banana, sliced

1/4 cup sliced strawberries or raspberries

In a tall glass, layer all the ingredients, sand-art style.

Makes 1 serving.

MEDITERRANEAN MUESLI

Hard to pronounce, but easy to make. Give it a shot!

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup vanilla soy milk or rice milk

1 cup plain vegan yogurt

3 tablespoons chopped dried apricots

3 tablespoons chopped dates

Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl and refrigerate for 2 hours. Top with your fave type of berries.

Makes 1 serving.

“I’M, LIKE, SO EASY!” BLUEBERRY PANCAKES

Easier than dozing off in bio-chem, these tasty babies can be made in a mug, cup bowl, or whatever you have lying around. (Umm, maybe it’s time to clean your room. Ew.)

2 cups Bisquick (or any other vegan pancake mix)

1 cup soy milk

3 teaspoons egg replacer mixed with 4 tablespoons water

1/2 cup frozen blueberries

Maple syrup, to taste (optional)

Powdered sugar, to taste (optional)

Vegan margarine, to taste (optional)

Mix the first four ingredients together. Pour evenly into two mugs and microwave each for 1 or 2 minutes, until completely cooked. Add maple syrup, powdered sugar, and margarine. Voila!

Makes 2 servings.

MORNING IN MEXICO SCRAMBLE

All the great tastes of Mexico in one bite: fun and spicy, like Cabo, and a little rough around the edges, like Tijuana.

1 (16-ounce) package firm tofu, drained and rinsed

2 cups corn tortilla chips

1 teaspoon onion powder

2 cups salsa

Mash tofu and microwave for 4 minutes. Add tortilla chips and onion powder and stir to blend in with tofu. (You can break the chips up a little, if you want.) Cook for about 2 minutes and stir. Add salsa and nuke for another minute, until chips start to soften and salsa is heated through.

Makes 3 servings.

TOO-LATE-TO-GO-TO-THE- DINING-HALL TOFU MASH

Missed the breakfast hours at the dining hall? Never fear —tofu is here!

1 (16-ounce) package extra-firm tofu, drained and crumbled

1 slice vegan cheese

1 (7-ounce) can chopped tomatoes, drained

1 tablespoon mustard

2 teaspoons soy sauce

Salt and pepper, to taste

Mix everything together and nuke for 2 minutes.

Makes 3 servings.

FRESHMAN FRITTATA

So easy, a freshman could make it! Just kidding…

2 cups frozen hashbrown potatoes

1/2 cup shredded carrot (can be bought preshredded)

1 teaspoon onion powder

2 tablespoons vegan margarine

Salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 cup egg replacer mixed with 1 cup water

1/2 cup soy milk

1 teaspoon mustard 1 dash hot sauce

1 cup vegan bacon bits 1/2 cup shredded vegan cheddar cheese

In a large bowl, mix together the hash browns, carrots, onion powder, and margarine. Cover and nuke for 5 minutes, stirring once or twice. Season with salt and pepper. In another bowl, mix together the egg replacer, soy milk, mustard, and hot sauce. Stir in the bacon bits and pour the egg-replacer mixture over the hashbrown mixture. Stir everything together. Cover and nuke for 3 minutes. Give it a good stir, then nuke for another 5 minutes. If your microwave does not have a turntable, rotate the dish two or three times during the cooking process. Sprinkle the cheese on top, cover, and microwave for another minute, or until the cheese has melted.

Makes 2 servings.

FRUIT SKEWER WITH “YOGURT” SAUCE

Because all food should be on a stick.

1/2 cup strawberry vegan yogurt

1 teaspoon agave nectar (you can find it at your local grocery store, next to the honey)

1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg

2 teaspoons lemon juice (you can buy a squirt bottle of lemon juice to use instead of fresh, if it’s easier—it certainly keeps better!)

1 (16-ounce) plastic tub of pre-cut fruit of your choice

4 wooden skewers

Combine the yogurt, agave nectar, nutmeg, and lemon juice. Set aside. Thread the fruit on the skewers. Serve with the yogurt sauce for dipping.

Makes 1 serving.

GREEK NOMELETTE

Go Greek without the hazing (or the yolks) with our eggfree “omelette.”

1 cup vegan pancake mix

1/2 cup soy milk

1 1/2 teaspoons egg replacer mixed with 2 tablespoons water

1/4 cup tofu, drained and cubed

8–10 kalamata olives, pitted

1/4 cup frozen spinach, thawed

1 teaspoon garlic powder

In a small bowl, mix together the pancake mix, soy milk, and egg replacer/water mixture. Stir until blended. Add the tofu, olives, spinach, and garlic powder. Microwave for 2 minutes, or until solid.

Makes 1 serving.

TOASTY SAUSAGE SURPRISE

The surprise? Your omni friends will never know this isn’t real sausage.

1 (14-ounce) tube veggie sausage, crumbled

2 cups soy milk

2 tablespoons vegan margarine

Salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 cup flour

6 slices of bread, toasted

Mix together the sausage, soy milk, margarine, and salt and pepper in a bowl. Heat for 3 minutes, then add a dash of flour while stirring. Heat for an additional 2 minutes. Repeat this flour-adding process until the mixture is thick. Place toast on plates and top with the sausage mixture.

Makes 3 servings.

CRUMB BUM BREAKFAST COBBLER

A nutritious fruit-filled breakfast. Fill in that patchy peach fuzz with a manly granola goatee.

1 (16-ounce) can sliced peaches, drained

1 (15-ounce) can pear halves, drained and sliced

1/3 cup orange juice (optional)

1 1/2 cups low-fat granola cereal

Place the peaches, pears, and orange juice in a bowl. Top with the granola. Nuke for 5 minutes, then remove from the microwave and let stand for 2 minutes before serving.

Makes 4 servings.

THE MORNING-AFTER SCRAMBLE

After you’re done scrambling to figure out what, exactly, in the hell you did last night, whip up a batch of this eggless scramble, sit down, and try to remember where you were and why you’re missing a shoe.

8 ounces salsa

1 (16-ounce) package extra-firm tofu, mashed

Salt, pepper, and garlic powder, to taste

1/3 cup soy milk

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

Drain most of the liquid from the salsa, mix in a bowl with the tofu, and nuke for about 1 minute, or until heated through. Add salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Mix the soy milk and nutritional yeast together in a cup until thick and creamy, then add to the tofu mixture. Nuke for about 2 minutes or until hot, stopping and stirring halfway through. Eat with toast, potatoes, or a faux meat of some kind.

Makes 1 serving

BUTT UGLY STICKY BUNS

When plated, they look like a bunch of muddy guys mooning you, but try not to let that turn you off. They’re delicious, we promise.

1/3 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

3 tablespoons vegan margarine

1 tablespoon water

1/3 cup chopped nuts (optional)

1 (8-ounce) can refrigerated vegan biscuits

Combine the brown sugar, margarine, and water in an 8-inch round microwave-safe dish. Nuke, uncovered, for 2 minutes, or until the margarine melts. Stir, then spread evenly across the bottom of the dish, covering the entire surface. Sprinkle with nuts (if you are using them), and then place the biscuits on top. Nuke on medium heat for 4 to 5 minutes, or until the biscuits are firm and no longer doughy. Let stand for 2 minutes and then dump onto a plate, upside down.

Makes 4 servings.

NOT-JUST-FOR-HIPPIES GRANOLA

You don’t have to be crunchy to like this crunchy breakfast!

1/2 cup vegan granola

3 tablespoons raisins or chopped dates (optional)

1 tablespoon almonds or nut of choice (optional)

1 (6-ounce) container soy yogurt (your fave flavor)

Mix everything together and eat.

Makes 1 serving

BRAINY BAC’N CHEESE TOAST

Start your morning—okay, afternoon—off right with a gooey breakfast that’ll keep you going through that 3 o’clock class.

2 slices bread, toasted

8 cherry tomatoes, halved

4 tablespoons vegan bacon bits

2 slices vegan cheddar cheese

Top one slice of bread with tomatoes, bacon bits, and cheese. Microwave for 2 minutes or until cheese is melted, and top with the remaining slice of bread.

Makes 1 serving.

HANGOVER HELPER

Once you can stand to see the light in the refrigerator, start undoing last night’s damage by munching on this yummy breakfast bagel.

2 tablespoons vegan mayonnaise

Salt, pepper, and onion powder, to taste

8 vegan chicken strips, thawed

2 slices vegan cheese

1 bagel, sliced in half

Mix the mayo with a little salt, pepper, and onion powder and set aside. Put the chicken strips on a plate, top with the cheese slices, and nuke for 1 minute. Meanwhile, toast the bagel. Spread the seasoned mayo on both halves of the bagel and place the chicken on one half. Put bagel halves together and eat.

Makes 1 serving.

SUNDAY MORNING “SAUSAGE” IN A BLANKET

When Saturday night has left you semi-conscious, barely a biped and unable to even use a can opener, quietly put together these easy ingredients, eat, enjoy, and then crawl back under the covers.

2 vegan sausages

1 (8-ounce) can vegan crescent rolls

Cut each sausage in half, and then cut each half lengthwise. Wrap the crescent dough around each piece. Pop in the microwave for 10 minutes or until the dough is fluffy.

Makes 2 servings.

BROKE-ASS CINNAMON ROLLS

Flat broke? Make your dough go further with this cheap and tasty pastry.

1 slice white bread

Vegan margarine, to taste

Cinnamon, to taste

Sugar, to taste

Cut the crust off the bread. Flatten the bread with a can or a rolling pin and spread it with the margarine. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. Roll up like a burrito and cut into minirolls (or just leave it as a burrito, if that sounds good or you’re in a hurry). Microwave for 15 seconds, or until margarine is melted.

Makes 1 serving.

BOOTY SHAKIN’ BAGEL

There is nothing better than a bagel—especially after a long night of dancin’!

2 tablespoons vegan cream cheese

2 tablespoons jelly (your fave flavor)

1 bagel, sliced in half

Spread the cream cheese on half the bagel and the jam on the other half. Smoosh together and eat.

Makes 1 serving.

NO-NEED-TO-VISIT-A-DINER-FOR-HASH-BROWNS CASSEROLE

As fun as it is to walk two miles to suck down some weak coffee and scarf some greasy potatoes, this dish requires a lot less effort and tastes better too.

1/2 cup nutritional yeast

1/2 cup soy milk

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 teaspoon garlic powder

Salt and pepper, to taste

Olive oil, for coating

1 (20-ounce) bag shredded potatoes (can also use hashbrown-style potatoes), thawed

1 (12-ounce) bag veggie burger crumbles, thawed

1 (10-ounce) bag frozen broccoli florets, thawed Hot sauce (optional)

Mix the nutritional yeast, soy milk, olive oil, garlic powder, salt, and pepper together to create the cheesy sauce. Set aside. Take a microwave-safe container, lightly coat it with olive oil, and layer the potatoes on the bottom. Then, add the crumbles and top with the broccoli, cheese sauce, and hot sauce, if using. Microwave on high for 5 minutes or until everything is hot.

Makes 4 servings.