Note: The following drinks are not the kind you’ll find in a big metal barrel—they are the refreshing and delicious kind that won’t make your head hurt the next day. Enjoy them as part of a meal, or let them stand alone in all their glory.
DID YOU KNOW?
Despite the industry’s claims, the evidence is clear that the animal protein in dairy products actually pulls calcium from the body. Population studies, including a groundbreaking Harvard study of more than 75,000 nurses, suggest that drinking cow’s milk actually causes osteoporosis.
FRUITY FRAT-TOOTIE SMOOTHIE
Sweeter than a blossoming frat boy bromance.
2–3 ripe bananas
1 (16-ounce) can pineapple chunks
1 (16-ounce) container frozen strawberries
Puree the bananas and the pineapple in a blender. Add the strawberries and mix until smooth.
Makes 4 servings.
INSTANT ENLIGHTEN-MINT CHOCOLATE LATTE
Screw finding your Zen—you need caffeine if you’re going to make it to that damn 8 a.m. class.
1 cup chocolate soy milk
2–3 teaspoons instant coffee grounds
1/4 teaspoon peppermint extract (or 2 peppermint hard candies melted in 1/4 cup boiling water)
Sugar, to taste
Mix all the ingredients together and nuke until hot, about 2 minutes.
Makes 1 serving.
FRUIT SMOOTHAPALOOZA
Make your own smoothies and save Mom’s care package money for spring break instead!
1 cup soy milk
1 frozen banana (peel and cut into chunks before freezing)
1/2 cup of your favorite frozen fruit (strawberries, peaches, or pitted cherries work great)
1 tablespoon maple syrup
Place all the ingredients in a blender and puree until smooth. Makes 2 servings.
Makes 2 servings.
NO-EGG NOG
Ho, ho—it’s faux. Soy to the world! Okay, we’re done.
4 cups soy milk
1 ounce instant vanilla pudding powder
1 cup nondairy whipping cream (try Rich’s brand)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Combine 2 cups of soy milk and the instant pudding in a medium-sized bowl, stirring until combined and thickened. Add the remaining soy milk and the nondairy whipping cream, mixing well. Stir in the vanilla, salt, and nutmeg. Refrigerate overnight.
Makes 4 servings.
MELON-BERRY BLISS
This blissful treat is not only tasty, it’s chock-full of healthy fruity goodness and perfect for breakfast when you don’t have time to sit down and eat properly. It’s so good for you we’re sure even your ’rents would approve.
2 frozen bananas (peeled and cut into chunks before freezing)
4 or 5 cantaloupe chunks (grab them from the dining hall salad bar)
4 or 5 honeydew chunks (grab them from the dining hall salad bar)
1 cup frozen blueberries
1 cup apple juice
Blend everything together until smooth.
Makes 2 servings.
SPRING BREAK VIRGIN SMOOTHIE
This sweet and chilly little number is just what you need to get yourself back on track after a week of spring break debauchery.
4 frozen strawberries
1 frozen banana (peel and cut into chunks before freezing)
1/4 cup orange juice
Put all the ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Drink.
Makes 1 serving.
NUTTY PROFESSOR ALMOND LATTE
H ighly caffeinated and slightly nutty, like that frighteningly familiar professor indigenous to all anthropology departments.
1 cup almond milk
2–3 teaspoons instant coffee crystals
Sugar (optional)
Nuke the almond milk for 1 1/2 minutes. Add the instant coffee crystals, making it as strong or as weak as you’d like. Sweeten with some sugar.
Makes 1 serving.
LATE NIGHT AT THE LIBERRY SOY SMOOTHIE
Packed full of protein and potassium, it’s the perfect pickme-up after a day spent nerding around the periodicals at the library.
8 ounces soy milk
1/2 frozen banana (peeled and cut into chunks before freezing)
1 cup frozen raspberries or berry of your choice
Put all the ingredients into a blender and puree until smooth. Makes 2 servings.
Makes 2 servings.
CHOCOLATE CELEBRATION SHAKE
You’ve just finished your twenty-page psych paper. How will you celebrate? A chocolate shake, of course!
4 cups frozen bananas (peeled and cut into chunks before freezing)
1 cup soy milk
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla
Thaw the frozen banana chunks for 5 to 10 minutes. Toss them, and all of the other ingredients, into a blender, and puree for 2 to 3 minutes. Serve immediately.
Makes 2 servings.
PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH PUNCH
Fizzy and festive even before someone spikes it.
2 (1-quart) bottles cranberry-apple juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 (1-quart) bottle ginger ale
Orange slices, for garnish
Place the cranberry-apple juice and brown sugar in a large microwaveable dish and nuke for 3 minutes, or until the sugar is dissolved. Chill in the refrigerator for at least an hour. Before serving, combine with the ginger ale in a punch bowl. Garnish with the orange slices.
Makes 4 servings.
SUCKY DAY STRAWBERRY SHAKE
Class sucked and your friends flaked. Treat yourself to this sweet shake. You seriously deserve it.
6 strawberries
1 tablespoon sugar
2 scoops vegan ice cream
1/2 cup soy milk
Sprinkle strawberries with sugar and let sit for a minute or so. Put the ice cream, soy milk, and strawberries in a blender and blend until smooth.
Makes 2 servings.