A party just isn’t a party unless someone brings the dip—or until a certain someone embarrasses himself by dancing really, really badly. Anyway, these little numbers won’t leave anyone feeling bad about themselves the next day. And if you start whipping up these dips for parties, the invites you receive will quickly quadruple.
DID YOU KNOW?
Spinach grown on an acre of land can yield twenty-six times more protein than beef produced on the same acre.
PO PO’S PARTY HEARTY SPINACH DIP
You know what they say—it’s not a party without dip and the cops showing up. We highly recommend that first part. The second—not so much.
1 (10-ounce) box frozen chopped spinach
1 (12-ounce) container vegan sour cream
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
1 packet vegan ranch dressing (McCormick’s makes a vegan ranch packet) or onion soup mix
1 round loaf sourdough bread or other round loaf
Thaw the spinach in a bowl in the microwave for about 40 seconds on high. Using your hands, squeeze out all the water. Put the spinach in a dry bowl and stir in the sour cream, mayonnaise, and packet of ranch dressing/onion soup mix. Let sit for a couple of hours, allowing the flavors to blend. Cut the top off the bread and scoop out the middle, making a bowl. Serve the dip in the bread bowl and cut the bread you scooped out into chunks for dipping.
Makes 8 servings.
FREUDIAN DIP
A therapeutic blend of beans, vegan sour cream, and salsa. Guaranteed to solve even the biggest of edible complexes.
1 (15.5-ounce) can vegetarian refried beans
1 (12-ounce) container of vegan sour cream
1 (16-ounce) jar salsa
Jalapeños, sliced, to taste
Tortilla chips
Mix all the ingredients, except the chips, together in a bowl and nuke for 2 minutes, or until warm. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
CRAB-ULOUS DIP
Dive in—this flavorful faux crab dip is the closest you’ll ever get to a semester at sea.
1 (12-ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained
12 ounces firm tofu, drained, patted dry, and broken up
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
Old Bay seasoning
Crackers
Chop the artichoke hearts and place in a bowl. Add the tofu, mayonnaise, and approximately 1 tablespoon of Old Bay. Nuke for 1 1/2 minutes, checking to see if the top is slightly bubbly. If it’s not, nuke for another 1 1/2 minutes. Top with another sprinkle of Old Bay and serve warm with crackers.
Makes 8 servings.
SPIN ART DIP
Better-looking than that stale macaroni art you made when you were a kid—and tastier, too.
1/2 (10-ounce) package frozen chopped spinach
1 (15-ounce) jar marinated artichoke hearts (drained but not rinsed)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup vegan mayonnaise
1/2 cup nutritional yeast (you can use vegan parmesan cheese as well)
Pepper, to taste
1 bag of bagel chips
Defrost the spinach in the microwave by heating for about 40 seconds on high power, then squeeze out the excess water. Chop up the artichoke hearts. Mix all the ingredients, except for the bagel chips, together in a bowl. Nuke for 3 minutes, or until bubbly. Serve with bagel chips—and try not to eat all the dip yourself.
Makes 8 servings.
MEXI-CRAM DIP
Scare up some tortilla chips and you’ve got the perfect snack for getting your learn on lightning fast.
1 (15-ounce) can vegan chili or 2 cups homemade vegan chili
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese
1 (4.25-ounce) can sliced black olives
1 package taco seasoning
Jalapeño slices, to taste
Mix the ingredients together in a bowl and nuke for 1 minute, or until warm.
Makes 8 servings.
DARWIN’S DIP
A natural selection for that party you’re planning. Do a couple of lunges though—it’s all about survival of the fittest once this delish black bean dip hits the table.
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup salsa
1 tablespoon lemon juice (fresh or via squirt bottle)
1 teaspoon onion powder
Mash beans with a fork. Add the salsa, lemon juice, and onion powder. Stir well and refrigerate before serving.
Makes 8 servings.
SEVEN-LAYER MEXICAN DIP
Layer upon layer of deliciousness. This dip is deeper than most of your friends.
1 (8-ounce) package vegan cream cheese
1 tablespoon taco seasoning mix
1 (15.5-ounce) can vegetarian refried beans
1 cup guacamole (see page 218)
1 cup chunky salsa
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 cup shredded soy cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons dried chives
1 small can sliced black olives
Mix the cream cheese and taco seasoning together. Spread onto the bottom of a 9-inch pie plate or other dish. Layer the beans, guacamole, salsa, lettuce, cheese, chives, and olives over the cream cheese mixture. Cover and refrigerate for a least 1 hour. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
CHOW DOWN CHILI“CHEESE” DIP
This “cheesy,” spicy dip goes great with corn chips and will have even the biggest meathead on campus coming back for more.
1 (15-ounce) can vegan chili or 2 cups prepared vegan chili
1 tablespoon Mrs. dash seasoning
2 slices vegan cheese
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 bag Fritos
Put the chili, Mrs. Dash, cheese, and black pepper into a big bowl and nuke for 2 minutes. Stir, then use Fritos for scooping.
Makes 8 servings.
CAMPUS STREAKER SAUSAGE DIP
Great for when you’re on the run. Guaranteed to turn any party into a sausage fest.
1 (14-ounce) tube vegan sausage
2 (8-ounce) containers of vegan cream cheese, room temperature
1 (15-ounce) can diced tomatoes with mild green chiles, undrained
Crumble the sausage as best you can and stir it into the cream cheese and tomatoes until evenly blended. Heat in the microwave for 3 minutes, or until hot. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
CHEEZY BREEZY BEAN DIP
Because you know that dried-up tray of nacho dip stuff in the cafeteria has been there since, like, 1992.
1 (14.5-ounce) can vegetarian refried beans
1 (8-ounce) can diced chiles
1/3 package vegan cheese, grated
Put all the ingredients in a bowl, cover, and cook for about 2 minutes. Remove from the microwave and stir. Nuke for another minute or two. Stir again before serving with your fave chips.
Makes 8 servings.
UNHOLY GUACAMOLE
If the devil had a dip, this would be it.
3 large avocados, cut in half and pits removed
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 (16-ounce) jar salsa
Salt, to taste
Scoop the avocado flesh into a bowl. Add the cilantro and salsa, and mix it all together. Season with salt and eat. Serve with chips, on top of nachos, in burritos, or by itself.
Makes 8 servings.
FLOOR PARTY FOURLAYER BEAN DIP
Make up for your bad taste in late night study music by charming your fellow dorm-dwellers with an example of your good taste in food.
1 (15.5-ounce) can refried beans
1 (12-ounce) container guacamole
1 (8-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (4.25-ounce) can chopped black olives
Black pepper, to taste
1 bag tortilla chips
Spread the can of beans on a large plate and nuke till warm. Top with the guac, then the tomatoes, and then the olives. Sprinkle with some pepper and serve with chips!
Makes 8 servings.
CRAZY GUAC-ODILE DIP
A guac and jalapeño dip that packs a big bite.
3 large avocados, peeled, pitted, and mashed
1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
2 tablespoons dried cilantro (optional)
1 tablespoon chopped jalapeños (canned is okay)
1 teaspoon onion powder
Salt, to taste
Mix everything together and serve with chips or in tacos, burritos, etc.
Makes 8 servings.
ORANGU-TANGY ORANGE SPREAD
This sweet spread gets two opposable thumbs up.
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese, softened
1 (10-ounce) jar orange marmalade
Crackers
Mix the vegan cream cheese with the orange marmalade in a bowl until well combined. Serve with crackers.
Makes 8 servings.
WOWY MAUI TROPICAL FRUIT SPREAD
This creamy coco-pine-orange concoction is hanging five in Hawaii, getting lei’d, and busting out the ukulele.
1/2 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese
1/2 cup vegan sour cream
1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
1/2 cup canned mandarin oranges, drained
1 tablespoon coconut flakes (optional)
Mix everything together until well blended. Serve with crackers.
Makes 8 servings.
CHILLY DILLY SKINNY DIP
Great served with veggies and vegetarians in the raw. So lose your drawers and hope that the only thing chilly is the dip.
1 cup vegan mayonnaise
1 (12-ounce) container vegan sour cream
1 1/2 teaspoons dill weed
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Stir everything together in a bowl and let chill in the refrigerator for at least one hour. Serve with raw veggies or potato chips.
Makes 8 servings.
FIESTA IN YOUR MOUTH SALSA
Not to be mistaken with a party in your pants. Unless you’re into that type of thing.
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
1 (8-ounce) can diced green chiles, drained
1 (4.25-ounce) can diced black olives, drained
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
1 tablespoon dried chives
2 teaspoons garlic powder
Salt, to taste
Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl and place in the fridge to chill for at least 1 hour. Stir before serving with corn tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
DORM ROOM ’SHROOM DIP
Tight quarters, tight budget, tight dip.
1/2 pound fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 package vegan onion soup mix
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese, softened
8 ounces vegan sour cream
2 tablespoons vegan bacon bits
Crackers or small chunks of rye bread
Combine the mushrooms, oil, and garlic powder in a bowl and nuke, uncovered, for 2 minutes or until the mushrooms are tender, stirring once. Add the soup mix, pepper, and cream cheese, and stir together thoroughly. Nuke again, uncovered, for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in the sour cream and the bacon bits. Nuke, uncovered, for 3 minutes, or until heated through, stirring once. Serve with crackers or rye bread.
Makes 8 servings.
SPRING BREAK TAHINI BIKINI DIP
Getting baked by the sun and playing in the ocean all day can really take a lot out of you. After a day at the beach the last thing you want to do is cook, so munch on this delicious dip instead.
1 cup tahini
1 cup salsa
Tortilla chips
Mix the salsa and tahini together in a serving bowl. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
NACHO MOMMA’S CHEEZ DIP
Yo’ momma never made anything this good.
1 (10-ounce) package vegan nacho-style cheese
1 (16-ounce) container salsa
1 (12-ounce) container vegan sour cream
1(12-ounce) bag veggie burger crumbles
Mix everything together in a bowl and nuke for 5 minutes, or until the crumbles are warm and the cheese is melted. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 8 servings.
SALSA FOR BEGINNERS
Way easier than trying to con your boyfriend into taking salsa lessons with you, and cheaper, too.
3 tablespoons vegan cream cheese
1 cup salsa
Mix the ingredients together and enjoy. Serve with tortilla chips.
Makes 4 servings.
“WALK OF SHAME” SUGAR DIP
Hold your head up; we’ve all done some pretty stupid things to get some sugar. Unlike last night, this sweet dip won’t leave you with regrets or a bad reputation.
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup dry-roasted peanuts (optional)
Apple slices
Using a hand mixer, beat the vegan cream cheese, sugars, and vanilla. If you don’t have a hand mixer, use your blender, but cut the cream cheese into small pieces first. Stir in the nuts, if using. Serve with the apple slices.
Makes 8 servings.
CHEATER’S CHEESECAKE DIP
Cheating on tests? Bad idea. Pulling a fast one on your friends with this recipe? Great idea! They’ll never know.
2 cups vegan marshmallow cream (Smucker’s and Ricemellow are good vegan options)
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese, softened
Cream the ingredients together by mixing together slowly, then refrigerate for a while. Serve with fruit from the cafeteria’s salad bar.
Makes 8 servings.
BROWN SUGAR FUN DIP
Remember those “Fun Dip” packs from when you were a kid? You know, the peppermint stick you’d dip into that crackcocaine-like powder and lick until your head throbbed from the sugar? Well, think of this as Fun Dip’s older, healthier cousin.
1 (8-ounce) container vegan cream cheese
2 tablespoons brown sugar
Stir together and serve with fresh fruit.
Makes 4 servings.
FEISTY FRUIT SALSA
Part sweet, part hot, just like your latest online crush.
1 (16-ounce) tub pre-cut fruit of your choice
1 teaspoon chopped chives
1 tablespoon chopped fresh jalapeños (or use canned)
1 tablespoon lime juice (fresh or from a squirt bottle)
Put all the ingredients into a bowl and mix well. Cover and chill for several hours or overnight.
Makes 4 servings
NOTE:
if you have a toaster oven, make chips to serve with the fruit salsa by brushing flour tortillas with melted vegan margarine, then sprinkling with a mixture of cinnamon and sugar. Cut into wedges, and bake at 350°F until crispy.