With the end of the week here and a successful shopping trip done with Sophie, Kathy headed to the grocery store. She was thankful to see the crowd wasn’t as overwhelming as she feared with Easter coming the following day.
A display stand in front of the chips and cereal aisle called her over. What could she do but give in? After all just because her family never celebrated it didn’t mean she couldn’t take advantage of all the yummy chocolate that came out during that time of year. Yesterday at the end of the work day, Dave had given her chocolate-covered strawberries in a heart-shaped box. The note attached simply said “You’re beautiful.” She gushed over the card for hours and then put it away in an old wooden keepsake box she kept in her nightstand drawer. No man had ever been so sweet.
Kathy picked up a chocolate bunny and noticed the label wasn’t to her specifications. If she was going to cheat on her diet then she was going to cheat on her diet. From behind her a dark chocolate bunny with a caramel middle hopped into her line of sight. The hand holding it bounced the tasty treat.
“You want me me! Don’t go for that generic junk, you’re too classy,” Dave told her in a mock bunny voice.
Laughing, Kathy took the Godiva bunny. “You’re absolutely right. I’m a Godiva girl.” She turned to Dave with her lips pressed together in an attempt to suppress her amusement. “How about you?”
“Guess,” he said with a wiggle of his brows.
His eyes twinkled with mischief and Kathy accepted his invitation to play. That something special about him pulled at her and the closest she could come to putting a name to it was comfort. She felt that, and peace—he gave the world around him a solid foundation for all to stand on. But what intrigued her most was what she didn’t know about him. How odd that he can be both soothing and mysterious.
“I’m gonna guess jelly beans and Peeps.”
He leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. “You know me well.”
The quick kiss left her wanting more and wishing she was brave enough to kiss him back while in public. “I bet you were the kid who put the sweet yellow chicks in the microwave to see them grow.”
“Nope,” he corrected her. “I liked seeing them explode.”
“You would!”
They stood there for a moment staring at one another; silence preluding more to come.
“Kathy, would you have lunch with me?”
While her mind stumbled, her heart was confident. “Yes. But aren’t you at the Lion today?”
“I called Sue in to cover for me. Figured I deserved a two-day weekend.”
Kathy looked at her basket of groceries and Dave’s cart. “That’s a lot of food for one person.”
“Jake and Sophie are coming over tomorrow for Easter dinner and my parents will be up sometime next week. Why don’t you join us tomorrow? We’ll be eating at two.”
With one hand up in protest, Kathy declined. “I don’t want to intrude—”
“You won’t.” He took her hand, brought it to his lips, then smiled. “Have lunch with me today. Give me a chance to change your mind about joining us.”
“Are you a romantic or just out to seduce me?”
“A little of both.”
“Okay. Lunch.”
“Great. Let’s pay and get out of here.”
“But I’m not done.” Panic streaked across her mind as she glanced at her basket.
“You don’t want to buy anything perishable anyway. It’ll go bad in the car.”
“But—”
“Actually maybe we should just leave our stuff.” Dave looked as if he was seriously contemplating the idea.
“You can’t do that!”
A little wild-eyed, Dave told her, “But I don’t want you to change your mind.”
“I… no… I mean. I won’t. Promise.”
The look on his face was the picture of Christmas morning and Kathy had to smile.
“You won’t run?” he asked in all seriousness.
“No.” How could she? His presence alone had brightened her day.
“Okay, let’s go.” He dropped the chocolate bunny that started it all in his cart then nodded his head for them to go to the cashier.
“So where do you want to go?” The sun glistened off his brown hair and Kathy glimpsed the blond highlights that were sure to become lighter in summer.
“What do you like?” she asked.
“Italian, American, Chinese, sushi, you name it, I’m all over it.” His body bobbed in excitement.
“I love sushi.” She giggled, while realizing the full scope of Dave’s boyish cuteness. How come she had never noticed it before?
“Awesome. I know this great place. Let’s take my car and we’ll come back for yours.”
“Umm, okay.”
He grabbed her grocery basket and tossed it into his cart. “Come on. We’ll beat the lunch crowd.”
“Dave, slow down.” Kathy lengthened her stride to catch up with him.
“Sorry.”
The big-toothed grin he gave her on top of the disheveled hair that currently stuck out everywhere on his head made Kathy laugh harder than she had in months—possibly years.
“You laughin’ at me, Miss Smith?”
“Yes.” She covered her mouth to stop the snort that was sure to come next. “I just never realized how truly adorable you are.”
“Oh, I’m cute. And sexy,” he replied, and pulled her into his arms. “You though… you’re stunning.”
She let out a huff. “Really, Dave? You’re so going to give me a big ego.”
“It’s okay. I can handle that.” Staring into her eyes, Dave brought his mouth down to hers. Unhurried and ever patient she understood the immense need inside him when he grasped her behind and crushed them together.
“Jesus, Dave. You’re walking around like that?”
He stayed close to her, letting their breath mingle. “This is what you do to me, Kathy.”
Dave was hard. More than that—rock solid. And she blushed from the intimate knowledge. “We should probably check out and get to the car.”
“Right. The backseat is better for what I’d like to do to you, though.”
“No. no.” Horror hit her fast. What if Dave took her right there in the parking lot and she was a letdown for him like all the men before him?
“Kathy, calm down. I’m only kidding. Here, help the invalid put the groceries on the belt.”
She stood there grinning; trapped between delight that they ran into each other and wonderment that she never knew this fun side of her existed. “Maybe I don’t want to,” she teased.
“Really? Hmm, how about another kiss of persuasion?”
“Oh, you’re very good at coaxing people, aren’t you?”
“One of the best.” He cupped the back of her head with his hand and pulled her in for a slow, gentle kiss. “Now help me with the groceries.”
“Okay, Mr. Sanders. But I’m not going home with you to unpack them,” she said while helping empty the cart.
“And here I was hoping you’d come over and do some cooking and cleaning.”
“In your dreams!”
He paid the cashier and they walked out to his car together. “Lunch awaits, my lady,” he said after opening the passenger side door and sweeping a hand out in invitation for her to sit.
“I think this is our first official date, Dave.” Kathy’s insides danced with excitement as he kissed her lips once more.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been on one,” he told her. “Please be gentle with me.”
She sat in his car while taking notice that the world around them seemed to be sparkling. Was it because spring had finally come? Or was it because of the man who sat next to her?
“I was thinking,” he told her, “maybe we can neck after this. Just to make sure I still know what I’m doing.”
“Somehow,” she answered as her heart swelled inside her chest, “I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”
* * *
Kathy reeled from her date with Dave. She couldn’t hide her excitement.
“And then we went to a movie and ate a crap load of popcorn. After that he brought me back to get my car and we said good-bye. Nothing to it. Easy stuff. I don’t know why I still feel so nervous. I mean, geez, the movie had this really hot sex scene and I could feel my body turning really, really hot and when I turned to Dave, he—oh it was so romantic—he took my face in his hands and kissed me.” A long breath escaped Kathy’s lips. “I have to say, I was a little disappointed that he didn’t even try to make a move on me. But then I realized we were in the movie theater. And then—”
“Kathy?” Sophie’s soft voice sounded sleepy. “I’m really tired. Can we pick this up tomorrow?”
“It’s only eight. Are you feeling okay?” Sophie never got sick. She always had enough energy for five people to live off of. But her voice sounded weak and Kathy felt a little guilty for not realizing this earlier.
“I’m fine. Think I’ve been burning the damn candle at both ends for too long, that’s all.”
Kathy’s lips moved into a pout. “Jake should be taking better care of his woman.”
“Yeah.”
Again her feeble voice alarmed Kathy. “If this goes on for more than a few days, you should go to the doctor.”
“I have an appointment Monday morning. I’m just run-down. How about we catch up when I see you tomorrow?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
“Okay, I’ll see you at Dave’s for Easter dinner.”
Excited about her date and Easter dinner the following day, Kathy couldn’t hide her excitement as she walked into her kitchen. Suddenly her cell began to ring. The caller ID displayed a number she didn’t recognize so she shrugged and ignored it. But after it stopped ringing, her landline rang with the same unfamiliar number.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Kathy,” the quiet voice said.
She froze for a brief moment before saying, “Stop calling me, Todd.” She hung up as the revolting flavor of disgust filled her palate. When her landline rang again Kathy simply picked up her keys and left both her apartment and her cell behind. She needed to buy a dessert for tomorrow anyway, and the Italian bakery around the corner boasted about having the best baked goods in town. Hopefully by the time she walked back Todd would have gotten the clear message of “Leave me alone!” and stop calling her every damn week.
It was the aroma in the shop that hit her first and tickled her nose. Everything smelled sweet, and her mouth watered as she looked over the bakery display case in front of her.
“Hello, Karma, I mean Kathy.”
Kathy turned to the voice behind her and came face to face with her ex-husband and father’s best friend—Todd. He was much older than she remembered and his thick mane of hair had grayed and thinned. Without thinking she took a step back as ice froze her veins. Fear came first then defiance toward this unwanted confrontation with a man she never wanted to see again.
“Your parents told me you moved into this area.” He flashed his charming smile, the one that once made the teenage girl in her giggle but now made the grown woman’s skin crawl.
“They seem to have big mouths.” To not waste any more time on him, she turned and walked out of the shop door. Damn her parents! They must have given him both her number and address.
“Kathy. Please wait. I didn’t mean to—” When he took her arm with a solid grip Kathy swung a flat-palmed hand hard against his face.
“Don’t touch me,” she hissed.
Onlookers stopped to stare as Todd rubbed his check. “I can’t believe you did that. Apparently I still need to remind you of your place. You haven’t grown up very much.”
“Apparently I have. Do you still get a thrill out of knocking women around and taking advantage of young girls?”
“Kathy, you weren’t young, you knew what you were doing. You wanted me to teach you; practically begged me to.” His eyes were almost black from the contempt he obviously held for her.
“I was too young, by the standards of the law and in the mind. You’re disgusting.” Looking him up and down Kathy couldn’t remember why she’d once found him attractive. Of course any sixteen-year-old who had the attention of an older man who insisted on how pretty she was, wanted to take her away so they could live free on a beach and watch the sun set every night, would fall for the lie. He “understood” her and how she didn’t fit in with her family. She was different… special, and that’s why he loved her. Loved her? Is that why when she was eighteen she found him in bed with her parents only months after she and Todd were secretly married? Kathy’s stomach clenched from the memory.
“I lov—”
“Don’t you dare say it. Your warped sense of love isn’t real. It’s perverse.”
Todd narrowed his eyes. “Kathy, you’ve changed.”
“A lot has happened in ten years.” She started walking away in hopes he wouldn’t follow but his steps behind her said otherwise.
“I want to talk to you. Clear the air.” He tried to grab her arm again and Kathy yanked it out of his grasp.
“Go to hell. That’s where your type belongs.” Kathy made it just past the building when she stopped and turned on him. As she stood there her body quaked, snapping the restraints that had held her down for too long.
“Sweetie, I’m dying.”
She scoffed and would have been horrified with herself if this conversation had involved any other person. But this was Todd—a family friend; her father’s best friend; her ex-husband; her parents’ lover and the man who took her innocence in a deceptive way.
“Dying?” She could feel the shameless satisfaction on her face.
“I can’t believe you can be so cold-hearted to smile.” Tears sprang to his eyes, one even escaped down his cheek.
She leaned her face close to his. With a black heart full of malice, she said, “I hope whatever is killing you does it slowly and without mercy.” Her words came naturally as hatred ripened in her. “You deserve no forgiveness because you’ve never felt shame over what you did.”
Todd stepped back from her, disbelief apparent on his face. “I… how could you?”
“How can I? How could you think that coming here and finding me was a good idea? Did you think I would fall into your arms and weep?” Kathy wanted to do more than just punish him with her words, she wanted to destroy him. Have him feel what she felt, or lack thereof, for years now. This man had stunted and ruined her for having any form of a healthy relationship with a man. “You were already dead to me when I found you with my mom and dad.”
Todd rounded his shoulders back and lifted his chin. Kathy remembered that response whenever his word was questioned. “That was a misunderstanding that you blew out of proportion. I told you the truth and you didn’t want to listen.”
She sneered. “Yes, finding you all in bed naked was a misunderstanding. Not to mention the fact that my mother, herself, tried to compare sex stories about you with me! Sick. That’s what they are and that’s what you are.”
“But you forgave them.” His eyes were of a man who’d been beaten down to nothing. Yet the show of remorse didn’t soften her. Instead it made her stronger because she knew what a snake he was.
“You’re very misinformed,” she told him.
“You can’t forgive me?”
“Forgiveness is for the one who’s giving it, not receiving it.” Kathy looked around them and saw a few people standing around watching the confrontation. Even the man from behind the counter of the Italian bakery had come out. He nodded to her and she acknowledged him back.
“I need yours,” Todd pleaded.
“You came to the wrong person. I’m at peace with my parents. They are who they are and I can’t change the fact they’re my family. You on the other hand, I can cut you out and never have to think of you again.”
“What happened to you?” Todd swallowed hard and shook his head with a tsk-tsk.
“I grew up and discovered that my father’s best friend was a pedophile and my parents covered it up. How many states is it now that you can’t be in?” Kathy advanced on him quickly but halted when they came toe to toe. “You make me sick.”
Todd placed a trembling hand on his chest. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”
“No, you’re not. It was all a show then, like it is now.” Kathy took a good look at him. She started with his tattered shoes and moved up to his worn jeans that boasted many holes. His stained shirt looked to be more than a decade old and his skin’s sheen was yellowed with malnutrition. Todd looked like a homeless man. She sniffed and realized he probably hadn’t showered in a while, either.
“I forgave myself, Todd. For ever being naïve about you and me. You lived life how you wanted.”
“I had a right to and you’re no one to tell me that was wrong.”
She saw the intent in his eyes; Todd had always been a very physical man when provoked. She felt a ping of pleasure knowing he could never hurt her again.
Bringing her mouth close to his ear, she whispered, “Go ahead and push me. Hit me. I know you want to. But remember I’m not a teenager anymore. Dying or not, I’ll kick your ass.”
Where had she found this strength? Never in her life had she stood up and said, “Go to hell” to anyone. Even when she left her parents’ way of life she did it without much of a fight. Kathy simply packed her stuff, wrote a note, and moved. No fuss, no arguments. They hadn’t been happy but the one positive quality about her parents was they always wanted whatever their two children wanted. Well, that and they preferred it being just Evaan and Telia. Many times they would talk about how much fun they had and all they did before having kids. Kathy never wondered why she had attachment issues.
“I came to say good-bye, Kathy.”
“Don’t bullshit me. You came to see if I’d show you mercy. And from the looks of you, you probably hoped I’d let you stay with me.” His eyes darted to hers. “Forget it.”
With that Kathy walked away. She never looked back or had a split second of guilt over how she left him. No, the only thing she felt was freedom and the churning in her stomach.
She almost didn’t make the bathroom before she purged herself. Violent tears and gut-wrenching sobs came at once. When she was done, relief filled the empty space.
Hope sprang inside her. Maybe she wouldn’t be so defective now. Perhaps seeing Todd was exactly what she needed to finally move on with her life.