Looking out her apartment window, Kathy saw the glistening sun warming everything its vibrant fingers could touch. It happened overnight. Spring decided to make its grand entrance. Daffodils’ sunny petals smiled. Trees that had been barren with sticklike fragility now had soft buds ready to burst. People were about raking and cleaning up the winter mess on their lawns. A perfect day. Maybe she would go for a run or a stroll with Dave.
Lately he seemed to fill her mind more and more. After dinner with his family and Mitch, their relationship changed from casual to intimate. The potent attraction was now something deeper, newer, sweeter. A week ago she had asked him to be patient and Dave did back off without any questions. However he now called or texted her every morning when he woke—just to say “Hi” and Kathy couldn’t have been happier. On one occasion, after discovering she loved Greek food, he surprised her with a cozy dinner for two with candles and soft music on his living room floor. They kissed passionately then he laid her back on the floor and covered her body with his. She held him tightly against her as she opened her legs so he’d fit more comfortably between them. Dave was rigid everywhere; his back, his bottom, his arms. And when his firm lips traveled to her earlobe and nipped, she wished his parents weren’t in the other room. Kathy wondered, on more than one occasion, if maybe they weren’t ever going to be together in that special way. Wanting him to touch her, hold her, and lie naked next to each other was becoming almost an obsession—a fantasy she needed to have fulfilled. The powerful want Dave created in her pushed Todd, and the moments his memories had marred with other men, away. With Dave there would be only them in that intimate embrace, no ghost of her ex and their past standing over them.
Dave believed in the little things, which only swelled her heart more with what felt precariously close to love. Every day he would bring her coffee to work with a hot cinnamon bun. Then, for no reason at all, he began picking her up so they could drive in together. He still had Jake’s car, and didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get one of his own.
With him on her mind, Kathy got in the shower. What surprise would he have for her today? There was always something. The weekend before Dave convinced her to go over to his place for a barbecue. Then he cornered Kathy with questions on the type of flowers she thought he should plant around his home. She was surprised by how much he genuinely cared for her opinion.
“I’m sick of the grass going right up to the foundation. It looks so bland,” he told her.
“I agree.” Kathy scratched her head. “I’m really not that good with stuff like this. I never had a garden.” She laughed. “Or anything close to a yard of my own.”
On a laugh he kissed her cheek. “Here’s the chance. We can figure it out together.”
“I don’t know.” She bit her lower lip and squinted at the front of his cape home. “Maybe you should call a landscaper.”
“Er. Little expensive for me.”
“Well, do you want a lot of flowers or shrubs?”
“I guess shrubs. But then I’d have to trim all the time, right?”
Kathy sat on the front steps. “I hadn’t thought of that. Umm, I guess you should go with the flowers then.”
“What kind of flowers?”
“The ones that come back and the ones that you have to keep planting,” she told him.
“Not sure. Die and thrive—maybe?” She giggled at Dave’s response. “Muffin, you’re damn near irresistible when you do that.” Placing his hands on her knees, he leaned down and gave her a kiss that seemed to touch her soul.
“Dave, stop that. Your neighbors could be watching. And you’re making me want to rip your clothes off and take you right here.”
“I don’t mind. That might be kinda fun.” He sat down next to her.
Ultimately Dave was able to convince her to help the very next day and the following weekends. Heck, it sounded as if she’d be there for the whole yard transformation. Thinking about it now, a light came on in Kathy’s head. It seemed awfully convenient, and a total ploy, that he needed help when she knew he was good with plants because the inside of his house was full of them. She made a face at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t deny the excitement running through her at the thought of spending more time with him.
The phone rang and she ran to answer it with enthusiasm. “Morning!”
“Hi, Kathy.”
Her world went still.
“What do you want, Todd? I thought I made myself clear that I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I—”
“What?” She demanded.
“I don’t like the way we left things. And I didn’t get a chance to tell you I’m happy to hear you found a job. It’s very tough in this economy to be laid off and then find work.”
“So.”
“I think it’s super.”
“Thanks,” she replied with a desert-dry tone.
Todd cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking—”
“Wow, that’s new.” It really wasn’t. Kathy had heard him use that opening line often to get people to do things for him. “Must not be doing too much of it ’cause I thought I made myself clear last time we saw each other.”
“Kathy, I miss you and I’m so sorry for the times I caused you pain. But I’m a different person now.”
“I’m sure.”
“No. I really am.” His plea fell on deaf ears and when she didn’t respond to his declaration, Todd continued. “I know it’s been a long time. Hell, years. But I still think about you and wonder what’s going on. Losing you broke my heart and now, with…” he trailed off obviously wanting her to think about him dying.
“Good-bye, Todd.”
Kathy slammed the phone down and when it rang two seconds later, fury engulfed her. “What! I don’t want to talk to you. Stop calling!”
This time when she hit the end button, she also unplugged the phone from the wall. At the burst of unexpected tears, Kathy sank to the floor. The treason of what her parents did hit her hard. How could they not stick up for her? Didn’t they want what was best for their daughter? Throughout their relationship all Todd did was lie, be selfish, break promises, and hurt her. He said he would get a job, and that the whole financial burden would not be on her. But in the end every job he got turned into one he lost or quit. No one treated him right; he was looked down upon; they didn’t appreciate his work and all he did for them. And her favorite excuse, “I don’t think working is for me. I’m still trying to find myself.” Oh yes, Todd always seemed to be “finding” himself. The stinker was that her parents “understood” him and thought she should be more sympathetic. After all they once needed to do the same thing. But Kathy was eighteen for goodness sakes! She wasn’t supposed to be taking care of anyone, they should have been doing that for her. Her parents said he was the best thing to ever happen to her. That they were so proud of her. Now he was supposedly dying. What kind of person was she to turn away a terminally ill man?
No, she wasn’t going to do this. Todd was the past and he would stay there forever. He was never there for her emotionally—only her for him. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to live like traveling gypsies and why it was so important to her to have a job with welcomed responsibilities. But Dave did. He was a stand-up kind of guy who knew both sides of this sometimes awful world. And he appreciated her, liked all her quirks, and never asked her to do anything she didn’t feel comfortable with. Why would she leave such a wonderful man to go back to that lowlife loser and her parents?
Wiping the tears from her face and pulling up her imaginary big girl panties, Kathy did an emotional moving on. Sometimes, she told herself, the only way to get to where you want to be, is to be the strongest person you know.
She stood straight and rolled her shoulders back. This was the ending of an era. From here on out she was going to be her own person. Looking out the window at the cloudless sky she did a mental midday sunset on the past and all its afflictions. No more. She was going to break all her bad habits until there was nothing left but the positive of a new day.
The powerless phone mocked her resolve but didn’t weaken it. She would plug it back in. And when he called back Kathy would inform him that there would be a restraining order issued if he didn’t stop.
Feeling a sense of relief Kathy did just that. No more running, no more being the victim; even if she never thought of herself that way, sometimes she knew she acted like one.
The cell phone in her purse began to ring—the vibration causing the small bag to dance on her counter. “Hello?”
“Kathy?”
“Oh, hi, Dave. What’s up?” Relief washed over her voice with hearing his.
“Everything all right, Muffin? I tried the house phone but—”
“Sorry about that. I unplugged it.”
“Yeahhhh. Umm. That was me on the other line.”
Kathy’s mind blanked. “Oops.”
Dave’s laughter sang through the phone. “Oops? I thought you were talking to me. Everything okay?”
She gave a heavy sigh. “Yeah.”
“Really? There’s nothing you want to share? Or do you randomly yell at people on the phone? Because if that’s what you do, let me know. We could always use it as a form of foreplay.” With a devilish laugh, he added, “Then have makeup sex.”
“Is your head always in the gutter, Mr. Sanders?”
“Absolutely.”
“At least you’re honest. My ex-husband called.”
“Why?”
“Who knows? My parents gave him my number.”
“Why the hell would your parents give him your number?”
Kathy sat with a helpless plop on her sofa. “Who knows? I never know why they do the things they do.” She inhaled a deep breath and prepared herself to tell Dave the whole truth about her ex. “As for Todd, he’s trying to get back together with me. Apparently he’s dying and wants to make amends before he goes to the fiery depths. Personally I think he needs money for his medical expenses.”
There was a small growl on the other end of the line. “Have you ever given him money?”
“No! And I don’t care what his pathetic story is. He won’t get it and I want nothing to do with him.”
“Thank God because I’m not about to give you up!”
She needed to be honest with Dave and herself and wanted him to know exactly what her heart was telling her. “I couldn’t give you up, either.”
There was silence for a moment and then, “Kathy, you mean a lot to me and I think you should be careful. He seems like trouble.”
“He’s harmless.”
“I don’t like it, Kathy.”
The dryness in Dave’s voice brought a smile to her lips. “Interesting. Are you jealous, Dave?”
“Maybe.” He laughed. “Does it turn you on?”
“Maybe.” She licked her lips and wished he was there so she could do naughty things to him.
“We’re going out to eat tonight at the Blue Room. Seven o’clock. Wear something sexy with very little underneath it.”
“Mmm… very provocative. Any particular color, Mr. Sanders?”
“I love you in all colors.”
His low throaty response sent a breathtaking shiver through her body. “And what do you have planned for after this very expensive dinner?” She couldn’t wait to hear his response and bit her lower lip in the anticipation of it—the small amount of pain bringing her pleasure.
“You’re going to have to use your imagination.”
An intense heat traveled through her at the excitement of what was to come. “I’m going to need to buy a dress.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
She swallowed hard. Was she going to be able to handle this man? “Dave?”
“Don’t be nervous, Muffin. It’s just me and you. And if you ever want me to stop, I will.”
“Okay.”
But she was as worried as a virgin on prom night anticipating becoming a woman. Even after Sophie’s help with picking out a backless deep red dress an hour later, Kathy began questioning what she was doing. She shaved everything that could possibly be, without going overboard. Then she moisturized her whole body with vanilla-scented lotion.
Anxious and jumpy she leaned over to pull up a thigh-high, lost her balance and, on a scream, went headfirst into the edge of her dresser. In a bra, panties, and with half a stocking on, her cheek sang. She sat where she landed with a hand to the already swelling area and laughed like a loon. This could only happen to her. She was just glad she didn’t kill herself. The morning paper would read: Woman Killed in Hosiery Accident. Aagggg!
Disorientated Kathy staggered to the kitchen and bumped into every wall along the way. Half a stocking dragged behind her because she feared bending over to pull it all the way up would make her head pulse more than it already was. She grabbed an ice pack from the freezer in hopes it would be her savior and stop the redness. About to go back to her room to finish dressing, she did an about-face, downed some pain pills, and found a mirror.
“The excuse ‘I’ve got a headache’ isn’t going to be used tonight,” she told herself.
Examining her cheek a little closer she began to laugh again. “Great. Now I’m going to look like my date beat me. So much for a romantic night of endless passion.” Touching the swollen area with gentle fingers she wondered if Dave would take one look at her and cancel. “Well, not if I have anything to say about it.”
Now more determined than ever, Kathy dressed the part of sex kitten. She did her best putting on makeup while holding the ice pack to her cheek. Considering she only poked herself in the eye twice, the ordeal was considered a success.
“Not bad,” she told herself in the mirror. Single-eyed, she managed to make sure her lips were the focal point of her face and not the darkening circle around her eye that she tried to cover up with concealer. Next she curled her hair into soft waves. After slipping on the five-inch black strappy heels, Kathy did a turn in front of the dressing mirror. She felt a little giddy, sexy, and ready to take Mr. Sanders on.
After cocking her head for a better examination in the mirror, a dizzying sensation bogged down her mind. With careful steps she sat on her bed just as the doorbell rang. A sigh of resolve passed her lips. “Time to face the music, Kathy. Or his utter shock when he sees what you did to yourself.”
By the clock on the wall Kathy realized Dave had come a half an hour early. Good thing she finished getting ready. Being late and ill-prepared always put her in a bad mood. But when she opened the door, it wasn’t Dave who stood there. Instead it was Detective Owen.
“Well this day just keeps getting better,” Kathy mumbled.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Miss Smith, especially since you look like you’re headed out for the evening.”
“What can I do for you, detective?”
“I was wondering if we could go over the report you filed about the bar fight.”
“Now is not a good time.”
“It’ll only take a minute. I want to tie up some loose ends.”
Owen’s eerie eyes first gazed at her legs then leisurely drew up to her breasts and then her face. Kathy did all she could to not shiver and cover herself up. The man made her feel dirty.
“No,” she replied firmly. “If you need me to do that then you should have called and asked me to come to the station. I don’t appreciate you coming to my home.” Kathy raised her chin and attempted to close the door in his face when Owen slapped a palm on it.
“I’m only asking for a minute of your time.”
With a look of annoyance, she glared at Owen’s chubby hand. “I’m sorry but I’m on my way out. I’ll be down first thing Monday. Can I help you with anything else?”
His hand dropped while his eyes narrowed. “I underestimated you, Miss Moonshine.”
“Miss Smith. You say my former name like it’s some dark secret.” She waved her hands in the air. “Oooo.”
Owen’s lips twitched, then with a nod of his head he turned his back to her and walked away. “Have a good time tonight, Karma. Hope that black eye won’t put a damper on it.”
She slammed the door then spied out the peephole. He was gone. On a sigh, Kathy went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea to calm her nerves. Damn him for getting her upset before her date with Dave! Wasn’t she already nervous enough?
Just to make sure the bruising wasn’t as bad as Owen made it out to be, Kathy went to the bathroom to examine herself in the mirror.
“Really? You had to be this clumsy today? Out of all the days?” The dark bloom on her cheek had expanded up the side of her face and now mixed with her eye makeup. She would either have to touch up the other eye and risk looking like a prostitute, or leave it alone and let the world know that she practically knocked her own butt out.
The kettle whistled loud and the screeching knocked around in Kathy’s head as she moved back into the kitchen. The rhythmic beat of her clicking heels echoed off the empty walls in her apartment. Growing up the way she did, Kathy always had very little and spending time in Dave’s home had her realizing how empty her apartment really was.
Opening a cabinet, she took down one of her four coffee cups to finish making her green tea. Leaving it to steep she took a survey of her barren place. White walls, no artful throw rugs placed or hung photos to make the place cozy. The only plant, which Sophie bought her after the divorce years earlier, sat on the tiny kitchen table that boasted two chairs. The one thing that made her home look lived in was the coffee machine sitting on the Formica counter. It was all very depressing. This isn’t a home. It’s a place to rest your head. She had no emotional attachment to it, no pull to be there when the day was too rough for words. It was all very sad, very lonely.
She sipped her tea and tried to talk herself into buying some curtains. Maybe something with bold colors and a crazy print. But Kathy couldn’t quite summon up any excitement over the prospect and decided she must really not want them, so why bother?
At the rap on the door a slow smile formed on her lips. Dave. It had to be him. If there was anyone else at that door, she would flip out.