Dave rounded the city block corner whistling. No, he never thought his life would turn out this way. But here he was ready to take the next step with the woman he loved. Asking Kathy to marry him hadn’t been a hard decision. She understood that he had certain quirks and respected them, just as he did hers.
The week seemed to pass quickly. The two of them made plans to work on the outside of his home again. And when his mother tried to give her input on what plants and flowers to put in, Dave only smiled. Maybe she was right about the bushes being a pain to take care of but she wasn’t going to talk him out of getting the yard fenced in. Someday they wanted kids, even talked about it after a sweaty romp in the hallway. Then he’d taught her how to flip burgers on the grill. They laughed so hard when the patty flew into the air and landed on the grass.
Perfect. That’s what his life was.
A crease of worry formed on his brow. Why couldn’t she come to dinner tonight? She just said there were some things she needed to take care of and to trust her and she’d explain everything later. It was too bad because his parents were looking forward to seeing her before they went back to Florida and he wanted to tell them the good news together. Kathy’s lease would be up in two months, she would be moving in with him, and they would be starting wedding plans. He imagined his parents being ecstatic. Could see his mother crying and his father cheering. Dave figured a ring for Christmas, wedding in summer, honeymoon wherever her heart desired, and a child the following year. Of course with Jake and Sophie’s news, his parents probably would have had a couple heart attacks from being overjoyed. An uncle. He was going to be an uncle. Jake looked scared, Sophie seemed tired but happy. They’d wanted to wait until Kathy was there too but Sophie couldn’t stay quiet any longer. They had found out only an hour prior and hunted Dave and his parents down to tell them.
With his feet barely hitting the ground, Dave skipped across the street to the parking lot to his new pickup truck. It was just one more thing that made his life wonderful. He had his woman, his parents, his brother, his health, and a brand new black Ford F-250.
The night had become warm and with it the night life heated up. Women with low-cut shirts and short skirts flaunted their legs with high heels. Men whistled as they walked by and flexed their muscles while smoking cigarettes. Did he miss that? Naw. He couldn’t see the purpose of it anymore; not with Kathy in his life and a future ahead of them.
About to unlock his door, Dave spotted her familiar silhouette. Walking with careful steps, Dave made his way over. Four car lengths from the couple he stopped and stared. His mind rejected the image before him while his body refused to move any closer. There she stood, Kathy, the love of his life. The woman he had been waiting for and couldn’t wait to marry standing there embracing someone else.
A dark cloud of hate shrouded his thoughts. She’d been too busy to meet him and his family for dinner because something came up. Yet here she was locked in another man’s arms while they talked closely. When the mysterious man tried to kiss her, Kathy moved her face away and exposed her neck. She likes that spot being kissed.
Taking a half a step toward them, Dave stopped. He knew he should confront her, confront them, but he couldn’t bring himself to take another step. She’s your woman, go and get her.
But as he willed his legs to move in their direction, the man’s lips captured hers. By the streetlight Dave could see Kathy’s hands fisted in his shirt. Unable to torture himself anymore, he turned and walked away. He’d gotten about ten steps when he heard her voice.
“Oh, God! No! Dave!”
“Too late!” He yelled over his shoulder and jumped into his truck.
“Dave, wait!”
He could hear her calling his name as she ran toward him but he paid no mind and pulled out of the lot. In his rearview mirror he saw Kathy and her lover standing side by side. The man put an arm around her shoulder and Dave’s stomach twisted from disbelief.
“What the hell were you thinking? Stupid!” He punched his dashboard, the pain never registering from the hit to his fist. “Idiot!”
Jesus, even his parents loved her. They were going to be devastated. The weight on his shoulders was substantial.
Instead of heading home, Dave drove to the seedier side of the city. The place he used to call home and one, he figured, would always welcome him back.
“Fuck it!” He pulled into the back of the strip club and parked in the darkest spot he could find. No use advertising his presence. Outside of the bar stood a man smoking. The nostalgic smell of cigarettes and marijuana filled his lungs. Yeah, he was home.
* * *
“No! And get your damn hands off of me, Todd!” Kathy fell against the stop sign pole. How did this happen? She just lost her dream man for the second time. How? Violent tears streaked down her face. Her heart wasn’t only broken but destroyed.
“Sweetheart. Come on.” Todd put a reassuring arm around her shoulders and tried to bring Kathy to her feet.
“You asshole!” Her fist connected to his groin and Todd went down. “I hate you! I hate you! Why did you come here?”
“I wanted to make it right,” he grunted out.
“I told you I’m with someone. I love him!” Saying it aloud startled her. At first she had doubted the love, then questioned if she was capable of being in it, now she knew she would give anything for it.
“You loved me too, once.” Todd coughed. “Damn it, Karma.”
“I never loved you like I do Dave!” Kathy swiped at the black mascara smearing across her face then ran to her car.
“What the hell? You’re going to leave me here?” Todd yelled. “He’ll never love you like I do! He’ll leave you and you’ll be back because I’m willing to forgive your limitations.”
Zipping out of the parking lot she saw a cruiser with flashing lights come roaring toward the scene. Good.
Kathy pulled out her cell and dialed the only person she was certain would know where Dave could have possibly gone. “Sophie, this is an emergency. No, I haven’t gotten into an accident but I think… actually it wasn’t me it was my idiot ex who really screwed things up. I’m looking for Dave. This is a mess. Please call me back!” Kathy drove straight through the red light and passed the strip club.
* * *
“Hey, Dave, haven’t seen you here in a while.”
“How’s it hanging, José?” Dave took a seat at the bar. “I’ll have a shot of the strongest thing you got.”
“Comin’ right up.”
José poured the dark liquor and Dave downed it. When he pointed for another, the bartender obliged. “So how’s the family, José?”
“Divorced,” Jose told him with his heavy Spanish accent.
“Told you not to marry a stripper, didn’t I?”
“I believe you did. But damn the things that chick could do.”
“Kids?”
“Naw. You?”
“Nope.” Dave stared down at his empty glass. “Thought I might someday.”
“Me too.”
José moved down to the other end of the bar after he filled Dave up. The numbing effect of the auburn liquor soon spread throughout his body. Good, don’t want to think anyway.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes. Now I think I’m dreamin’. Sanders, what the hell brought you back to me?” Charlie sniffed hard and rubbed his nose. It didn’t take a seasoned coke addict to know what the man had been doing in the back room.
“I needed to drink and a place to hide.”
“Well out here isn’t gonna do it.” Charlie gestured for Dave to go with him. “Come on.”
“You know, Charlie, I think I’m gonna stay out here,” Dave said. “Hey, José! Set me up again.”
The bartender smiled. “I can do that.”
“Sanders, when an old friend invites you to their private party, it ain’t nice to turn ’em down.”
Dave glanced at the heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’re right. I’m not partying, though. I’m drinking.” What are you doing here, Sanders? Look at this guy, he’s drunk, high, and you should get your butt out of here. Dave turned on his bar stool to face the stage. “And watching a show. Got some nice-looking girls.”
“Could get you a private dance in the back.”
“Thanks, Charlie, but I’m really not looking for that kinda fun.”
“Suit yourself. You know what to do.” Charlie nodded and walked to one of the bouncers. Dave saw the mountain of a man look at him and then back at his boss. Yup, I’m being watched. This was such a mistake.
Turning to catch José again, Dave asked for a beer.
“You know that’s gonna make you sicker than a dog tomorrow,” José advised.
“Yeah, but I deserve it,” Dave announced.
“I’m surprised to see you here.”
“I needed something familiar.” Dave watched the woman on the pole, while trying to clear his mind.
José spoke something in Spanish and turned away from him.
“What?” Dave asked.
“Nothing”
“Speak your mind, José,” he slurred as he contemplated leaving to find a quieter place to sulk. “You never were shy about it before.”
After filling an order the old friend leaned on the bar toward Dave. “You’re loco. Get out of here,” he told Dave in a hushed tone. “You got out with your life and now you’re back? Stupid, amigo. You’re real stupid.”
Dave studied the scene around him. He once thought of this place as his home—somewhere to do whatever he wanted to. Now he understood it was a lifestyle that pulls you down deep into the abyss of darkness and then chains you there. What was he doing there? Instead he should have been making things right with Kathy. He could have misunderstood the whole scene he saw. Right? Dave scoffed. He deeply wanted the whole thing to be a mix-up but he saw what he saw.
Against his better judgment Dave planted his empty beer on the bar. “Get me another, José.”
* * *
“For God’s sake, Dave, pick up the damn phone!” Kathy was pulled over in front of Jake and Sophie’s place trying to think of anywhere else Dave would be. She had already been by the Lion, his house, called Mitch, and her own apartment.
Dragging her feet and with slumping shoulders, Kathy confronted the front door with guilt, disgust, and hope. If anyone would know where Dave went, Jake would. Before she could raise her hand to knock, the door swung open and Jake stood there, hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.
“Hi, Jake.”
“What the hell is going on? You look terrible.”
“Nice to see you too,” Kathy mumbled.
Jake moved out of the way and swept a hand to signal her to come inside. “Have you heard from him? I’ve called and called but he’s not picking up. What the heck happened?”
“No, I haven’t heard from him and was hoping you’d think of a place he’d go.”
Jake shook his head “no.” “Honestly, Kathy, the guy doesn’t do much so you’d think he’d be easier to track down. What happened now?”
Kathy opened her mouth to confess the sin but Sophie came into the room groggy and a little off balance. “Have you found him?” she asked.
“No,” Kathy told her.
“You want some coffee or something?” Sophie yawned and then moved toward the kitchen. “I’m making myself some tea.”
“I’ll take coffee,” Jake announced.
“Okay, but you’re putting your own cream in it,” Sophie joked.
Kathy’s heart yearned for an understanding like that. To know each other so well that even the smallest of jokes made you smile and love the other person more. She wanted that with Dave.
“It’s not my fault you can’t get it right.” Jake kissed her on the top of the head. He then turned to Kathy. “What happened?” he growled.
“Umm,” Kathy cleared her throat. “Well, it’s this whole crazy thing with my ex.”
Sophie dropped a tea bag in her water. “Todd?”
“Yeah. You see Dave kinda saw him kissing me.” Kathy bit the side of her lip and closed her eyes tight. She didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes due to her betrayal.
“What!” Jake yelled. “What? Dave loves you. How the hell can you betray him like that?”
“There’s more to it, Jake. You have to believe me. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“Then how did it happen?” he commanded.
Instantly flushed and ready to weep Kathy opened her mouth but only a squeak came out. She already missed Dave so much. The way he’d smile at her from across the room. How he’d take her hand at random moments and squeeze. Then there was the love she felt every time he held her—she was going to miss that the most.
“Kathy.” Sophie took her hand. “You need to calm down and tell us what happened.
“Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to do that? I run into my ex who makes a mess of my relationship with the man I love then he kissed me. I tried to push him away and couldn’t, Dave saw us then sped off. I kicked Todd’s ass, and now Dave is missing. Get worked up? I’m already there!” Kathy insides were trying to rip their way out of her body from the silence Jake and Sophie were giving her. “Well?”
“We can’t find him, either.” Jake walked away from her to stand next to Sophie.
“Oh, no.” Crushed, Kathy braced herself on the counter next to her.
“Kathy, can you think of anywhere he’d go?”
“I’ve tried everywhere I can think of.” Kathy eyed Jake’s back. Somehow this was all her fault, no matter how unintentional her actions may have been. “I’m sorry Jake.”
“Yeah, well, you can make it up to me by finding my brother.” He stomped across the kitchen and poured himself a coffee.
The home became eerily quiet. Kathy’s thoughts and fears tormented her as she grasped at every ounce of hope but only found disgrace and blame. She started to weep again for all she didn’t get to say to Dave and all they might not be able to share in the future. Every part of her body shook as she struggled to find any kind of solace in her new reality—life without Dave.
Jake turned on her. “Stop crying!”
“I’m sorry!” Kathy held onto her head hoping the rotation would stop before she fainted. The tiny white lights flashed under her eyelids to let her know she was close but she refused to give into the darkness. Dave needed her, she needed him, and that was first priority.
“Jake—” Sophie darted to her friend.
“No, Sophie, I’ve had enough of her blubbering. My brother is out there hurting and I want to know where!”
“I don’t know, Jake! I don’t know where he’d go!” Kathy screamed. “I didn’t do anything!”
“You were kissing another man!”
“No, I wasn’t! He kissed me and I pushed him away. I did nothing for Todd to think I’d take him back!” She wiped her face with a damp facecloth Sophie had fetched from the bathroom.
“Jake—”
“I swear to God, Kathy, if my brother is in some kind of trouble because of you I’ll—”
Kathy became hysterical. There would be no consoling her now. She couldn’t understand the words she attempted to say to Jake but in her mind the apology and worry must have gotten through because he closed his eyes, and Kathy saw a tear slide down his face.
“I can’t lose him, Kathy.”
“Both of you stop it!” Sophie yelled. “We’re never going to get anywhere if all we do is yell! Jake, let’s go back to Dave’s house. Your parents are probably worried. And I need to lie down.”
“Why?” Kathy’s world revolved again but this time she was able to stabilize it by concentrating on Sophie’s face. “Are you still sick?”
“No. It’s wicked late and I’m pregnant. We announced it at dinner tonight.”
Kathy smiled as a genuine feeling of warmth and love bloomed inside of her while she wiped her tear-streaked face with her arm. “I’m so happy for you two.” She stood and hugged Sophie then turned to Jake. “Are you excited?”
Jake stern jaw twitched. “Yeah, sure! I’m already picking out baby names. We’re going to call him Buck Wild Sanders. Or Trixie if it’s a girl.”
To mess with Jake Kathy said, “Soph, don’t twins run in your family?”
“Awww, I think I’m gonna be sick,” Jake said while turning a light shade of green.
“Must be a stomach bug going around,” Sophie suggested. “I was sick all morning.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake. I was only kidding.” Kathy moved past her girlfriend to comfort the expectant father.
“Jesus. I can stare down the enemy. Shoot and hit a target hundreds of feet away but the thought of being a father terrorizes me,” Jake told both women.
Kathy rubbed the big guy’s back. “You’re going to be a great dad, Jake.
Sophie raised her hands in defeat. “We aren’t going to find him like this. Kathy, where have you checked?”
“I think we should drive to the Lion,” Jake suggested. “And where’s my damn coffee?” He clomped around the kitchen in search of it.
Defeated Kathy followed him, “I’ve already been there.”
“We might have to check his old stomping grounds,” Sophie told them. The emptiness in her voice confirmed it was the last thing she wanted to say, do, or think about. “Just to be sure.”
“He wouldn’t go back there,” Jake insisted. “He just wouldn’t.”
“Sophie’s right. We should think about checking.” Kathy’s stomach churned as her voice hitched. “This is all my fault!”
Sophie frowned into her tea. “He’s an adult and makes his own decisions. When we find him we may not like what he’s done but we’ll need to be understanding.”
“I’m telling you,” Jake insisted with a slam of his coffee cup. “He won’t go back to those places.”
Before another word could be spoken Kathy’s cell phone rang. In desperation she dumped her purse on the kitchen table and sifted through the pile to find it.
“Yes? Hello? Dave?”
“Actually, Miss Smith, I was looking to see if you’ve seen Mr. Sanders,” Detective Owen informed her.
“What? Why are you looking for him? What’s going on?”
“Miss Smith, please calm down.”
“Calm down! People need to stop telling me that! Dave’s missing and we can’t find him anywhere. You just happen to call looking for him and—”
“There was some trouble at a downtown strip club and Mr. Sanders’s truck is here.”
“Where?” Kathy wanted to know.
“What the hell is going on,” Jake demanded.
Kathy put a finger up signaling for him to give her a moment while Detective Owen continued to explain and give her an address. Her mind rushed in every direction as the fear of not knowing told her to panic. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“Well?” Sophie asked.
“There’s a strip club downtown called the Triple X—”
“I know the one,” Jake grumbled.
“Apparently Dave’s truck is there but he’s not. The place got robbed about a half hour ago and a bartender was shot.” But what happened to Dave? Why was his truck still there?
“Let’s go!” Jake jumped to attention and grabbed his jacket. “Kathy, we’ll take your car. I have a spare key to Dave’s so I’ll get it out of there before somethin’ happens to it.”
Sophie weaved a little as she stood. “Let’s go.”
“You should stay here,” Kathy told her and Jake agreed. “You don’t look so good.”
“I’m fine, damn it, and I’m going!”
Kathy’s brows scrunched together at her friend’s outburst. “I’m sorry Sophie.”
“Don’t be. I’m a little testy, that’s all.” She shrugged her jacket on and looked at Kathy. “Sorry.”
Twenty minutes later Dave was still nowhere to be found. If he had been in the bar no one was talking. Charlie, the owner of the place, only smirked at Jake and said he hadn’t seen him. It was obvious the man was lying.
“I don’t understand,” Kathy said to Jake. “Why wouldn’t he tell us the truth?”
“Because men like that don’t know what the truth is, Kathy. They lie so much that their views of the world are warped,” Jake explained.
Sophie looked around with a helpless frown. “Now what?”
“Don’t know,” Kathy told her.
“Kathy? What happened? And I want the whole story.” Jake asked as if reading her mind.
“Oh, this big crazy mess, Jake.”
“And?” Sophie put an arm around her friend.
“And I might have really screwed things up by not telling him the truth right away.”
Jake looked at the sky and let out a long, loud puff of air. “Lying is never a good thing.”
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him.” Her defense sounded pathetic even to her own ears. And now she might have lost the one person who loved her completely for who she was and where she’d come from—the one person who would protect her from her family. “I’m such an idiot!” No longer able to stop herself, Kathy fell to her knees in the Triple X’s parking lot. “I can’t believe this is happening. We have to find him. What if he’s dead?” she demanded while glancing at Jake.
The large man only fidgeted on his feet. “Don’t do that, Kathy. Come on, stop crying, get up.”
Sophie bent down and wrapped an arm around Kathy. “He’s not dead, Kathy. And, Jake,” she said while turning a stern look his way, “be more supportive.”
“I am!” he insisted. “Let’s go to the Lion and see if he’s there so I can choke him for making all of us worry.”
Sophie rolled her eyes at Kathy. “Sorry, this is Jake being helpful.”