I look over at the clock, again. Eleven in the morning and I still don’t feel like getting out of bed. There’s no reason.
There was a soft knock on my door earlier, sometime around nine, which I assume was Gina telling me that breakfast was ready, but I didn’t even bother getting up. I just closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep.
After the failed job search yesterday, I was planning to go back to that coffee shop with my résumé and scout out a couple more places that might be hiring.
When my phone got shut off, I completely lost all desire to do anything. I feel lost. I can’t talk to Logan or Jess and it’s killing me.
I check my phone again, for probably the fifth time this morning and still no service. I’m not sure what to do really.
There’s a light knock on the door and I lift my head. It’s Gina and even though she has been the nicest person since I got here… I don’t think I can face her. I feel too crappy and depressed.
I hear the doorknob turning. I know that I locked it, but as I peek from behind the covers I can see that it’s not stopping Gina. She pushes the door open, picks a tray up off the floor and walks toward the bed.
“Miss Amy, you can’t just stay in here forever.”
I’m still baffled as to how she got the door open.
“You need to eat something and you’ll feel better.”
I sit up in bed and prop the pillow against the headboard, behind my back. Gina sets the tray over my legs and pulls the silver top off. There is a plate of plain wheat toast, some grapes and a steaming bowl of soup.
“My mother’s chicken noodle soup. It will cure anything.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. It won’t cure my blues.
“Anything. You eat it and tell me that it doesn’t help.”
She turns and walks toward the door.
“Gina, thank you.”
She turns around and smiles at me.
“Just doing my job.”
“No, Gina. Thank you for everything. Since I left Salem everything has been… hard. And you’re the only nice person I’ve met since leaving and it means the world to me.”
She walks back over to the bed and stands at the foot and looks into my eyes.
“You’re a special girl. I can tell you’ll do great things, but you’ve had a lot of tragedy in your life. They’re just setbacks and they will make you the woman you are destined to be.”
I nod my head. I hope she’s right. I hope that I’m stronger from all of this, but I’m also so ready for it to be done with. I just want to be happy. I just want Logan to hold me in his arms and kiss me. That’s it. Is that too much to ask?
“That’s very kind of you.”
“I’m just telling you the truth,” she says, shrugging. “And I know I’m not the only nice person you’ve met since you got here. You know Mr. Baldwin and he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”
I wrinkle my nose and turn my attention to the food in front of me. I’m not really hungry, but I don’t think I can look at Gina right now. I’m sure she would be able to tell that I’m not exactly fond of Dex.
“Miss Amy, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head. I can’t tell her, not after what she just said about Dex. If I tell her my side of the story, she would probably tell him and then who knows… anything could happen. He knows I’m stuck here, for now, and if he really wanted to he could make my life even more miserable.
“It’s OK,” she says, as she sits on the end of the bed. “You can tell me anything. I won’t say anything to anyone.”
There’s truth in her voice. I just don’t know though. When I look into her eyes, I can see that I can trust her. I’m not sure why I’m being so resistant. I shouldn’t care if Dex finds out. He can’t do anything to me.
“You won’t tell Dex or my mom?”
She shakes her head, puts her hand on my foot and squeezes it.
“I won’t say anything.”
I take a bite of the toast as I think about what to tell her and how I should say it. I don’t want to be unkind about Dex, even though he was an ass to me, because she seems to think he’s a great guy.
“I… it’s just been hard.”
I pop a grape into my mouth and look up at Gina. She has a look of motherly understanding on her face.
“I didn’t want to come here, I really didn’t. I have a new boyfriend, a guy that I’m crazy about and I had to leave him.”
Gina has a confused look on her face.
“Why did you come? I assumed you wanted to come here.”
I shake my head. I wonder where she got that impression.
“My dad died and since I’m not quite eighteen, my mom made me come here. I didn’t have any choice at all.”
A look of surprise crosses her face. I find it hard to believe that anyone would be here by choice.
“A lot of girls your age would be so excited to be in Hollywood, living in a mansion.”
I nod. She’s right, but not me.
“Yeah, I’m sure they would. I’m just not one of them. I hate it here. I hate how mean everyone is. I just want to be back in Salem with Logan.”
Gina squeezes my foot and smiles at me.
“How long will you be here?”
“Only as long as I have to be.”
I don’t feel like getting into needing to get a job and make money so that I can get the hell out of here. Not to mention I’ve gotta get a new phone. I’ll never make it until my birthday if I can’t talk to Logan or Jess.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help your time here be a little… easier just let me know.”
“Thank you, Gina. You’ve been so kind. You’re the only person here I actually like.”
There’s a brief flash of disappointment on her face. She pushes the feeling away and forces a smile. I can tell she doesn’t understand how I don’t feel the same way about Dex as she does.
“No problem.”
She gets up and walks toward the door.
“Wait,” I say. “Is there a phone here?”
“No, there’s not. Mr. Baldwin always just uses his cell.”
“Alright, thanks.”
She walks out of the room and pulls the door closed. I wanted to call Logan and tell him that my phone got shut off. He’s probably already texted me this morning and is wondering why I haven’t texted him back.
I can’t breathe. I jump out of bed, push the window and stick my head outside. I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t seem to help. I need Logan. I need him to hold me in his arms and tell me that it’s going to be OK.
I grab the bottle of water off my nightstand and drink the rest of it in one swallow. I sit down on the bed and try to slow my breathing.
I feel like my world is still falling apart around me. I thought it was over, the moment I buried my dad, but it just keeps getting worse. When will it be over?
Is this what my life is going to be like? I can’t live like this.
Something has got to change. It’s impossible for me to just sit in my room until my birthday. I need to get a job and make some money, that’s the most important thing.
I take one last deep breath as my pulse slows. I don’t feel right. It’s not like I’m sick or anything… I’m not sure what it is exactly. I just feel sad. Like really sad. It’s almost impossible to describe. Ugh.
I grab my purse off the shelf in my room and sit back down on the bed. I pull out my wallet and start counting my money. One hundred and twenty-seven dollars. I was hoping it would be a little more, maybe enough to get a bus ticket back to Salem. I sigh and put the money back and put my wallet in my purse.
I run my hand through my hair as I try to figure out what I’m going to do. I need a job. The main problem is I can’t hand out a résumé with a disconnected phone number. I guess first things first, I need a phone.
Get yourself together, Amy, you can do this. Go get a phone and go get a job.
I throw on the same clothes I wore yesterday, since I didn’t exactly do much, and head out of my room.
I sneak down the front stairs, listening to see if Gina is around. The house seems silent, so I quietly open the front door and close it behind me.
Gina mentioned that she didn’t want me leaving on foot, and neither did Dex, but I don’t really care. I know he wants to get me out of his house as soon as possible, so I’m going to try and make that happen.
I glance back at the front door as the gate opens, half expecting to see Gina come running out. When she doesn’t, I turn and start walking toward Santa Monica Boulevard.
When I get there, I cross at the first intersection and head in the opposite direction from yesterday. I don’t want to walk by the coffee shop or the store with the girls, plus I need to find a phone.
After a couple of blocks I see a store for my wireless provider. I open the door and go inside. A man with a clipboard walks over to me and smiles.
“Hi, do you have an appointment?”
I frown and look around. There’s only two customers and three people working. Is he serious?
“No.”
He looks down at the clipboard and scans the sheet of paper.
“OK, it should only be a five or ten minute wait if you want to take a seat.”
He points at a chair near the door. I glare at him, but he’s already walking away. Seriously? Why would I think I needed an appointment?
I go and sit in the chair. This is what’s wrong with cell phone providers. So stupid.
A few minutes pass before one of the salesmen comes over to me with a smug look on his face.
“How can I help you today? We just got in a shipment of Smartphones in this morning. Are you looking to upgrade?”
I shake my head as I stand up. A defeated look crosses his face before the smile takes its place again. I guess he really wanted to sell an expensive phone with a plan to match.
“My service got shut off, so I was wondering how much it would be for just a basic phone.”
He nods slowly as if he was racking his brain to try and think of the best way to separate me from my money.
“Well... I can check your account and see how much it would cost to get your phone turned back on.”
I perk up. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. If it’s not too expensive that would solve all of my problems. I could keep my phone, which I’m still in love with, and not have to transfer anything.
“That would be great, thanks.”
“Just come with me and I’ll pull up your account.”
I follow him over to the counter. He walks around the end and starts to pound away on a computer. He finally looks up at me.
“If you could enter your phone number into the pin pad.”
I put my number in and press enter. He stares at the screen for what feels like forever and then he cringes, looks at me and looks back to the screen.
“Well… it’s not good.”
“What’s not?”
“Your account.”
He doesn’t say anything else. I guess he wants me to read his mind.
“OK… what’s so bad about it?”
He stares at me and then looks back to the screen, moving his lips as he reads. How does this guy have a job and I don’t?
“It looks like you are two months behind on payments… so you would have to pay those, the late fees and the fee to turn it back on again.”
He looks at me, as if waiting for me to say something.
“How much is it?”
He blinks and keeps looking at me.
“For what?” he says.
I want to scream. Is this why they charge so much money for their crappy service? So they can afford to hire mental giants like this guy?
“How much would it be to pay it all… to get my phone turned back on?”
“Right, let me just check.”
What the heck has he been doing this whole time?
“It looks like three hundred and forty-one dollars and twenty-nine cents.”
Wow. That’s ridiculous.
“How would you like to pay for that? Cash or credit?”
I turn around and walk away from the counter. Not only is this guy an idiot, but the whole company is run by crooks.
The guy with the clipboard is standing at the door with his hand on it.
“Would you like to fill out our customer satisfaction survey today?”
I look at him. I can’t take his goofy smile and empty eyes. I turn around and face the store.
“Screw you all! My dad died and so my cell phone got shut off! Assholes!”
I push by the guy at the door, opening it myself and walk out onto the sidewalk. I take a deep breath and start walking. Not toward Dex’s house, but in the way I was already heading.
I’m not going back there without a phone.
After another ten minutes of walking, I come across an independent wireless dealer. I look through the window and see displays for all the major brands, including the place I just came from.
I open the door and go inside. There’s one guy working, standing behind a counter, who glances up from a magazine and nods. I would rather ask for help if I need it.
Browsing the displays of the major providers takes only a couple of minutes. I can’t really afford any of them, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
“Do you have any phones where the plans are a little cheaper?”
“Prepaid phones,” he says, without looking up from his magazine.
“Where are those?”
He nods to the left. I walk over to a display for a company I’ve never heard of before, it must be local, and I start to look at the phones. They’re all crappy. Most of them don’t even have color screens. I sigh. Am I really going to switch from a Smartphone to one of these? I don’t really have much of a choice.
I read over the display to figure out which plan will work. They all have unlimited texting, so it really comes down to the number of minutes and the cost of the plan. I guess I should go with the cheapest one, at least until I have a job and start making some money. I could always bump up to a plan with more minutes.
I pick out the cheapest phone and grab one of the prepaid cards for the cheapest plan. I walk back to the counter and set them down. I see his eyes glance momentarily to my purchase, but he continues to read. He turns the page and finally looks up at me.
“Anything else?”
“That’s it.”
He scans the phone and the card and then swipes the card to activate it.
“Fifty-four dollars and twenty-two cents.”
I set my purse on the counter and count out fifty-five dollars. It’s a lot more than I wanted to spend, but I don’t see any other option… I need a phone to get a job. I hand over the money and he hands me the card and the phone.
I walk out of the store and turn toward home. I want to get back so I can text Logan with my new number and redo my résumé. It’s already late enough in the day that I won’t be able to look for a job now… most of the restaurants, which are the most likely to hire me, will be getting ready for dinner service by the time I could get back here.
Ugh. Another wasted day. I’ve gotta get out of here.