THIRTY-FOUR

THE GATE SNAPPED AND GLOWED AS before, but the thin, dark fissure had widened.

Several pairs of Frostblood and Fireblood masters were combining their version of frostfire to block the opening. Against all odds, they had slowed the release of shadows almost to a standstill. Lucina was using beams of sunlight to deflect the escaping shadows, so they couldn’t possess the masters as they worked.

As I neared, I saw Brother Thistle on his knees next to Arcus’s body. My stomach flipped over, my heart ripped open again at the sight of him. For a second, I longed to give in to the Minax once again.

Instead, I moved next to Arcus, shaking as a fresh wave of grief flooded my chest. My vision blurred as I struggled to stay upright.

“He was like a son to me,” Brother Thistle said in a thin voice that sounded nothing like him at all. I wiped my eyes to see him bent over the still form, his shoulders hunched as if blows were raining down on him. As if his grief was too great even to be eased by tears. I waited until he sat back on his heels and had taken a few calming breaths before I spoke.

“I’m going into the Obscurum now,” I said, my voice thick with unshed tears. “I just wanted to say…” I swallowed, searching for the right words, then gave up. There were no right words.

“I believe in you, Miss Ruby Otrera.” As he turned his head to look at me, I saw that his blue eyes shone with a layer of mist, though he tried to force a trembling smile to his lips. “I have always believed in you. Go. Make me proud. Make your goddess proud. And save us all.”

I put my arms around him, grateful when he pressed one hand to my back, returning the embrace. “Thank you for teaching me. For everything.”

“I would do so again,” he said, his voice thick, “a hundred times over, and thank Fors for giving me the chance.”

I tried to smile, and almost managed it.

“Gods go with you, Ruby.”

Kai spoke my name, soft but clear. The sounds of battle were muffled, this area clogged with solemn quiet. He nodded at me as he and the Frostblood warrior ceased making frostfire. His skin was sheened with sweat, his eyes glazed with exhaustion. But he straightened and bowed at me as if we were meeting at court. I swallowed and nodded, which was as much as I could manage.

I knew it was time. He was giving me a few moments to enter the Gate.

Our eyes held. He smiled for a second, then his face crumpled.

“Be safe, little bird,” he said in a choked voice. “Come back to us. Remember, you are the exception to all rules.”

I rubbed my eyes. No more tears from here on, I promised myself. Too much depended on me to give into feelings that could sway my focus.

“I hope to see you again soon, Kai,” I said. He nodded, face twisting, and turned away.

I bent and planted a kiss on Arcus’s cold cheek, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

“Good-bye, my love,” I whispered.

I tried to move away, to push myself to my feet, but my muscles locked, everything in me fighting to stay. Now that it was time, I couldn’t leave him. I realized how foolish it was to think that I would leave him. I couldn’t go!

“I will keep him safe, Ruby,” Lucina stated with firm sympathy. “You must save those who remain.”

Closing my eyes tight, I pressed my forehead to Arcus’s one last time, then forced myself to stand. I walked stiffly to the Gate, feeling as if I were fighting my way against the tide.

Lucina’s arms were raised, her palms open as she protected the masters from the escaping Minax.

Just before I stepped through, she used one hand to pull a pendant on a chain from around her neck. Light spilled between her clenched fingers as she handed the necklace to me.

“Cirrus’s crystal,” she said, “to show you the way in the dark—but also to show you your light should you need it. If despair should overwhelm you in that place, I want you to have some means of overcoming it.”

“Don’t you need it?”

“It is mine to give.”

I clutched it in my fist. “Thank you.”

“Release the spirits of the dead first. It’s hanging on to darkness that keeps them trapped. If they give that up, they will be able to pass through the Gate as light and move into the afterworld. Only once they are all gone can we be sure the Gate will hold.”

I nodded, suddenly unsure whether I could do this, whether it was even possible.

“Then call the Minax to you, the ones that escaped,” she instructed. “They should be drawn to you. Once they enter the Obscurum through the rift, I’ll reseal the Gate.”

Without another word, I stepped in.

As soon as I passed the membrane of light, my ears rang with the screaming of souls.

Shrieking, frenzied spirits swirled in the air like bats, swooping and brushing past as they bashed against the Gate. I felt them as the beat of vulture wings against my back, the stinging bite of wind in my face, and the gouging rend of talons on my neck.

“Stop! I’ve come to help you!” My cries were swallowed by the din. I tried to connect with their minds, to reach out and touch their thoughts the way I did with the Minax, but disorder reigned. They were intent on hurling themselves against the Gate, on crashing through. The clamor shredded reason and turned all thoughts to chaos.

With my head bent, I fought my way forward, stumbling, searching for space, for some tiny measure of quiet. Only there were so many, so many angry, agonized spirits. The screams were too loud. Finally, overwhelmed, I shoved my fists over my ears and curled up on the cold stone floor, wishing I could burrow under the earth to escape.

As a talon slashed my ear, I gasped and put a hand up to stanch the blood. Something fell from my palm. Light exploded out. The shrieking increased in volume, but from farther away. When my vision cleared, I saw what I had dropped.

Cirrus’s crystal. It glowed and pulsed with white fire that lit a circular area about twenty feet wide. The winged and taloned shadows pressed against the outer edges as if longing to rush forward, but fearful or blocked.

I picked up the chain attached to the crystal and stood. Experimentally, I swung the chain back and forth. As the light moved, the spirits shrieked and moved with it, skittering away from the glow.

Thank you, Sage.

The Minax in my heart sent out a pulse of recognition at the spirits of mortals, cataloging some of them with satisfaction. It had caused many of their deaths over the millennium it had spent in the throne of Sud. Some of these spirits must have been trapped in the Obscurum for centuries. I wondered if they would even understand me.

“You are not trapped anymore,” I told them slowly. “I want to free you.”

Their shrieking quieted a little. They hovered in the darkness as if listening.

“Come forward,” I said, even as my hands and legs shook with fear. If I could talk to them, one by one, I might be able to help them understand.

They seemed afraid of the light, unwilling or unable to enter its beam. I closed my fist over the crystal, leaving the end exposed and pointing down to make a smaller circle around my body. The spirits immediately surged toward me, stopping just shy of the glow.

“I will help you,” I said. “But you have to give me something in return. I need some of your darkness.” They shrank back. I felt their fear, a furious, ingrained resistance to what I was asking.

I whispered, “Just a little.” I held out my cupped palm. “Fill my hand with shadows. It’s hardly anything. Not enough to miss.”

I held my breath.

One spirit fluttered forward. As it came into the light, it began to change. The winged shadow transformed into a woman wearing a black gown sewn with pearls. A gold band adorned her head. Rearing back in shock, I recognized it as Queen Nalani’s crown.

Understanding came a second later. This was how the spirit had looked in life. She was a Fire Queen from some time in the past. She might have been one of my ancestors, even my maternal grandmother for all I knew! I wished she could speak, that I could ask her questions, find out more about her.

But it didn’t matter, not really, not anymore. All that mattered was releasing her spirit so Lucina could seal the Gate. Time was running out.

“Fill my hand with darkness,” I said, watching fear and trepidation pass over her face. The longer she stayed in the crystal’s soft light, the more solid she appeared.

Her ghostly hand came over mine, palm to palm. My skin tingled then burned as silky tendrils of shadow entered my body, flowing from hers to mine. I sucked in a breath as the harsh passion of her darkest emotions flowed through my veins and into my heart.

Terror. Fury. Bleak despair. A tearing, twisted longing destined to go unfulfilled. Her memories might be long dead, extinguished by time and imprisonment, but the emotions remained. They all rushed into me at once, filling me with agony.

I shook violently as I absorbed her shadows, drawing the tendrils into my skin, pulling even as she gave, so the queen could never quite fill my cupped palm. With every second that passed, her spirit glowed brighter. Using little nudges of my mind, I coaxed her into surrendering more, even as my own spirit contorted in pain from what I was receiving.

The dark stream slowed, then ceased altogether. Her eyes met mine. She was made of pure, golden light, transparent but fully formed, every line of her face and clothing sharply detailed, like a begrimed painting that has been cleaned and restored.

“You can leave now,” I said, fighting the sick churning in my stomach, the heavy weight of desolation in my chest. “You are made of light. You can pass through and be free.”

I gestured to the Gate with a trembling finger.

The spirit’s face lit with happiness, relief, and gratitude. Hope. You will release all prisoners? Free us?

I blinked in shock; I hadn’t thought she could speak, but she had asked the question in my mind.

“I will release the spirits of mortals,” I told her. “But the Minax must stay here.”

Her brows knitted, her expression radiating concern and worry. Her outline grew cloudy as a hint of desperation darkened her eyes.

As I am, so are we all. Spirits twisted by the dark.

I shook my head in confusion. Maybe she didn’t know what else was trapped down here with her.

“The god Eurus created shadow creatures called the Minax,” I explained. “They are imprisoned here, too, and they must remain.”

No! She shook her head. There are only spirits here. All these. Spirits.

I looked around, releasing my hold on the crystal so more light filled the chamber. I caught glimpses of the spirits as they shrieked and fled to the darkness. Every single one looked like a Minax, with sharp edges and flowing tendrils around them.

“All of these are spirits of mortals?” I asked in growing horror.

She nodded, brightening again with hope.

“There are no Minax?” I pressed, needing to be sure.

One and the same, she replied. Spirits. Minax. The same.

“My gods,” I said, rocked to my soul by this realization. “He didn’t create creatures from darkness. He used the spirits of mortals and twisted them into the Minax.”

The queen nodded, satisfied now that I understood.

My knees weakened. So many creatures. Thousands. Countless. I was barely surviving the extra weight of a single spirit’s heaviest emotions in my heart. How would I survive all of them?

We suffer. We are not meant to be here. You will free us all?

“I vow I will free them all,” I found myself saying. I shook off the despair that told me I could never do it. If it took forever, I would end this. There was nothing waiting for me in the mortal world. Maybe this had been my purpose all along. Brother Thistle had believed all along that I was the Child of Light, but I was really the Child of Darkness. I would live in darkness, but the world would be safe.

The queen glowed brightly at my promise. Thank you. Then she turned, became a beam of light, and disappeared through the Gate.

Bracing myself with a deep breath, I faced the hordes of shadows pressing at the edges of the crystal’s light.

So many.

“Who’s next?” I asked, fighting a tide of hopelessness. “I can do this.”

“Can you, though?” a velvet voice said from somewhere in the murk.

I closed my eyes in recognition.

“Come now, Ruby.” Eurus’s voice was enticing, mesmeric. “You’ve freed one. There are tens of thousands more. If you keep this up, you will be one of them before long.”