CHAPTER 23
“So good of you to come, Tovi. Welcome to my garden patio. This is my favorite spot in the whole city.” King Damien sat at a table already laden with pastries, fruit, and bright juices. He was dressed exactly like the day before.
She gazed out at the garden. There was little color except the gray-green of hedges, perfectly shaped into a complicated labyrinth. The rest of it was paved with stone and ornamented with statues of soldiers aiming spears or wielding swords .
The previous evening, after returning to Calix’s house after the fight, she had not known where she stood with Calix. Would he calm down? Or would he throw her out? She didn’t want to stay, not after that outburst that showed his true colors. But, she had nowhere else to go.
She had climbed up to the room with the tall windows and canopied bed, where Cora had dressed her earlier in the day. She wondered if this was BiBi’s room, and she sat in one of the windows to wait for BiBi to return.
But BiBi did not return to that room. Tovi heard her come up the stairs several hours later, singing a bit under her breath. The singing voice moved to the room next door, so Tovi peeked out.
“Tovi!” BiBi cried with a silly smile, stumbling just a bit as she moved toward her guest. “I had forgotten you are here. Is your room to your liking?” She hiccuped and giggled.
“It is fine. Are you sure this is not your room? Your closet is in here.”
“No, no, no. Those are just a few of my old gowns. This is my room over here. You’re in the guest room.” BiBi hiccuped again. “Which is kind of perfect since you are my guest!” BiBi rested her face against her door frame and grinned, her eyes only half open. Then, they burst wide in an instant. “Oh no, Tovi! You probably don’t have anything to wear to sleep. Hold on.”
BiBi rummaged through some drawers, producing two night dresses. “Here. These will be a bit too big for you, but they will do.”
Tovi had thanked her, went back to her room, donned the pajamas, and climbed into the giant bed.
She had woken in the morning and immediately began to cry. She had not dreamed about Tali for the first time in weeks, and she mourned this last connection to her family.
Tovi also hadn’t seen any sign of Calix since the party.
She now had a hard time focusing on King Damien over breakfast. Her mind was consumed by her dreamless night, the events of the previous day, and the significant task of avoiding Calix while living in his home.
Tovi blinked and came back to the present as King Damien was saying, “I want to make sure we educate you properly. I have arranged a few special lessons, but first we must chat about what you already know.”
Tovi gave a brief summary of the information BiBi had shared, including all that she knew about the marks of honor and how one becomes a Master. King Damien nodded occasionally to show he was listening.
“Excellent. Now, let me tell you more. You see, Tovi, the world is not such a complicated place. What I want is the very best for this mountain and the people on it. After many years of deepest thought, I know exactly what must be done in order for us to prosper and grow. That is why I hand out assignments. Each person is integral to the system of bettering our community. Some children are born with excellent brains. They must be put to the task of thinking and building and creating. Then there are those born with natural leadership and ambition who should be assigned to harness their desires and use them to better the world around them. There are those born with nothing but the ability to work hard. These skills are used so that the rest of us have food to eat, roofs over our head, and clothes to wear. So it is because of my great love for these people that I put them to work. Do you have any questions so far?”
“I don’t think so.”
“All right then. Take a look at this.” He clapped his hands, and a teenage girl stepped forward. Like the servants in Calix’s house, she wore a modest gray dress with a large hole cut out of the back. She turned so Tovi could examine her marks. “Each of these symbolizes a trait that people should pursue in order to be the very best version of themselves. All you need is to understand these seven ways of the world, and your life will far exceed anything you could ever dream.
“First, you earned your mark of Control,” he said, pointing to the hissing snake near the base of the girl’s spine. It was the same mark that adorned Tovi’s shoulder. “Leeto taught you that it is good to take control of your life, to do whatever is necessary to fully realize your potential. When you chose to leave that letter for Ganya, you finally took control. Thus, you earned your first mark before ever stepping foot on this mountain. You are very bright, and I think there is excellent potential for you to earn more marks and maybe become a Master someday. Oh, yes, I have great tasks in mind for you.”
Tovi had just taken her second bite of breakfast when Rhaxma joined them on the patio. King Damien smiled. “You will be spending the rest of the morning with Rhaxma learning about her specialty. Off you go!”
“Today we get to talk about the mark that looks like a set of scales,” Rhaxma said as they walked out of the palace. “It’s the mark of Perfection.”
Tovi only half listened. Her attention was caught by Eryx who was standing outside one of the courtyard homes. There was a bandage over his jaw, but the rest of his wounds and their stitches were exposed. His eyes followed her as they crossed the expanse toward Rhaxma’s house.
“In order for you to live life to its fullest, you should constantly strive for perfection. There are many aspects to consider, but the most important is how you look.” They reached Rhaxma’s home and went straight to a large parlor. The walls were covered in framed portraits of an entirely orange-haired, yellow-eyed family. “How you look changes everything. People will treat you with the amount of respect and honor that your appearance deserves. How you look has the power to make you a queen or ruin you. It is your choice.”
A tall mirror stood in one corner. “All right, you stand right here,” Rhaxma said, placing Tovi in front of it. She sat down on a puffy couch and rang a bell.
At this signal, a line of servants entered. “Ghita, go stand next to that mirror so Tovi can see you next to her reflection.”
Tovi noticed the girl’s face and how young yet tired she looked.
“Now, compare yourself to Ghita. In what ways are you prettier than Ghita, and in what ways is Ghita prettier than you?”
“I’m sorry?” Tovi faltered.
Rhaxma sighed and rose from her cushion. “You have so much to learn. First, look at her figure. See how it curves out right here and makes this pouch?” she asked, pointing to Ghita’s midsection. “That is not right. To be perfect, you must have a very tiny waist. There shouldn’t be any of this,” she said, pinching Ghita’s waist.
Tears were forming in Ghita’s eyes, and she was biting her lip.
“That is horrible,” Tovi said. “Ghita, you are lovely. Please don’t cry.”
Rhaxma looked at Tovi with fierce disapproval. “Do not give praise to this slumpy girl. If you condone this kind of treatment of your body, one day you will look just like her. Then, no one will ever love you, and you will be a complete failure.” Beads of black sweat formed on Rhaxma’s forehead and upper lip, and she quickly wiped them away. Collecting herself, she continued, “Now, take a look at Ghita’s eyes. What do you notice about them?”
“They are a pretty color of brown,” Tovi said, stubbornly picking out their best qualities. “They are very bright. And they do have a nice shape.”
“Correct,” Rhaxma retorted with one raised eyebrow. “They do have a pretty color and shape. However, look here,” she said, indicating the space between them. “They are too close together. And, these eyelashes are very short. Yours are much longer.”
Tovi took a moment to look at Ghita’s eyes again, then looked in the mirror at her own.
“See how her nose is wider and dips down on the end? That is not nearly as pretty as your small nose and its nice little point. Her lips are too thin and cracked, and she needs to take better care of them. Her skin has these blemishes and pock marks, whereas yours is nice and smooth. Her hair is too frizzy, her ears are too low, and her teeth are too large.
“Ghita, you may leave. Cloris, please step forward.”
They repeated the process several times through. Tovi refused to offend the servants, but she began to see herself differently when she looked in the mirror. For the first time in her life, she saw herself in bits and pieces. She was proud of some things, like her beautiful eyes and her nice little nose, but shame rose up within her as she surveyed her unruly hair and the straight lines of her body that looked nothing like Rhaxma’s curves.
“Hello in there! Anybody home?” BiBi entered the room. “Can I speak with you for a moment, Rhaxma?” The two spoke quietly in the corner, occasionally looking over at Tovi.
While they spoke, Tovi continued to stare at herself. An image of Xanthe popped into her mind. The perfect face framed by lush hair. The perfect body barely hidden beneath silk. Tovi’s cheeks grew pink and her eyes stung with the beginning of tears. Calix’s voice rang in her ears: “You are worthless.”
Would he have said that if she looked like Xanthe? Could he have overlooked the snake on her shoulder if she was more beautiful?
She rolled her shoulder, which was stinging worse than before. Her gaze moved down to her too-flat chest and her too-undefined waist. She had always been skinny, and Ganya had always wanted her to eat a little more. But for the first time, she realized how ugly her thinness made her. She wasn’t womanly like Xanthe, Rhaxma, BiBi, or any of the other women in the upper circle. They all had hourglass shapes with swaying hips, overflowing busts, and tiny waists. She glanced at the two woman in the corner and then back at herself.
She took a deep breath. Fitting in mattered only until she concluded her search for Tali. Then she could leave this place that left her feeling so inadequate.
“Tovi! Turn around and look in the mirror. You’ve earned it!” Rhaxma squealed from the corner.
Sure enough, Tovi turned to find the scales branded just below the snake. It was hard to differentiate between the pain caused by each separate mark, so she hadn’t noticed when it appeared.
“Well done, Tovi!” BiBi applauded.
Shyly, Tovi asked the question that had been forming in her mind. “What can I do to look . . . more like the two of you?”
They both burst into giggles. “You mean these, don’t you?” BiBi asked, pointing at her chest. “And these?” She gave a wiggle of her hips.
Rhaxma laughed and rolled her eyes at her friend. “Some of us have them naturally,” she said, poking herself in the chest and rear end. “Others of us . . . ”
BiBi finished her sentence for her. “Others of us, like me, need a little boost.” She reached into her dress and ripped a large pad from one of her breasts, offering it to Tovi to have a closer look. BiBi looked ridiculously lopsided without it. Then, she pulled up her dress to show Tovi similar padding tied around her waist that gave volume to her hips. “But at least I don’t have to bind my waist like Rhaxma does.”
Rhaxma smiled and lifted her dress too, revealing an undergarment that cinched in her waist. “I prefer it this way. When my clothes come off, men aren’t as disappointed as when they realize none of that is really BiBi.”
BiBi burst out in another round of belly laughter. Tovi flushed, a heat spreading across her face.
“I think tomorrow is our breakfast together, Tovi. I’m happy to take you to buy some for yourself,” BiBi offered as she replaced her fake breast.
Soon BiBi left, and Rhaxma began to train Tovi on another matter of importance: comparing other people in order to surround herself with only the best. She brought two male servants into the room. They stood before Tovi, eyes staring straight ahead.
“All right. What do you think of these two, Tovi?”
She studied their faces, the shapes of their features, the width of their shoulders. She noticed differences, but she had no idea which was better. Should she say she liked the thin one with the bony face? Or should she approve of the thicker-set one who looked much stronger?
“Come on, Tovi. Which would you choose as better?”
“I don’t know. I suppose I would choose him,” she indicated the stronger but shorter of the two.
“Wrong. Trick question! Neither of them are good enough for you.”
Tovi learned that day that tall was better than short. Muscles were better than being fat or skinny. The broader the shoulders, the better. Unless, of course, they were too broad. Skin should be smooth, teeth should be straight, and clothes should fit just right.
As the morning wore on, Rhaxma motioned for Tovi to join her on the couch. “We’ve covered almost everything. As you settle in, you will probably meet people on your own, not just our little group from our parties. There are certain things you must remember. First, never associate with any servant, unless they are actually serving you.”
“Why?”
Rhaxma sighed, exasperated. “I was worried you wouldn’t understand. That’s why I made it rule number one. Why would you want to befriend someone who is so beneath you? They are servants for a reason: they are good for nothing else. Remember that, Tovi. It is very important.
“Moving on. The second thing to remember is you must watch out for those who are new to wealth and status. They are used to living near the Bottom Rung, and often they still act like it. They lack sophistication and hardly conform to our standards. Don’t be seen out with them, or soon you will be laughing too loudly, using their terrible slang, and wearing clothes that are ostentatious rather than refined. It is better to stay with people who have been in this inner circle for a long time.
“Third, if you ever see someone with a heart mark on their palm, stay far away from them. They are common in the Bottom Rung, and they are illegal.”
Surprised and taken aback, Tovi exclaimed, “But I have one!” She started to pull off her glove when Rhaxma nearly tackled her.
“Don’t! Don’t show it to me! You could be arrested for having it!”
“But why?”
“It’s forbidden to have that heart. It’s a sign of rebellion. When someone is caught with one, they are thrown in the prison below the palace and left there until it is gone. Don’t show anyone, Tovi. Surely His Majesty would be forgiving since you are new here, but don’t take any chances.”
Hearing the chime of a nearby clock, Rhaxma led Tovi up several flights of stairs to the top floor of her home. They continued through a set of glass doors and onto a small terrace on the opposite side of the house from the balcony where they had watched the fight. A sea of gray rooftops stretched out before them. They were all nearly identical, with their small chimneys and angled walls. The closer they were to Rhaxma’s home, the better they looked. But further out, Tovi could see crumbling stone, flaking paint, and cracked windows. Beyond that was the endless barrier of cloud.
“You have been lucky. You were brought here and right away live in the best home you could ever have on this mountain. You moved into the courtyard, the closest you can be to His Majesty. I was born here, so it’s nearly the same thing. Everyone else—all those people—live out there, trying to get in. If they do well in their assignments, they might be able to get a few streets closer in their lifetime, but rarely does anyone make it to the center of the city. It just doesn’t happen. They try, and I can’t fault them for that. Everyone wants what we have, and that’s why it’s important to protect it. You must always be striving for perfection. If you don’t, he will cast you out, and you will end up out there somewhere, lost in the crowd of forgettable failures.” A black tear dropped from her eye and left a dark trail down her cheek.
“Just think what that would be like,” she continued, full of sorrow. “To have nothing. To be seen as nothing. It is my deepest and greatest fear, being nothing. As long as we are perfect, as long as we spend every waking moment staying ahead of the others, everything will be fine.” She stifled a soft sob, pressing her fingers against her lips, and blinking back more tears.
“This place could eat you alive, but if you trust me and BiBi and the others, you’ll make it. You’ll be perfect. You’ll succeed. And isn’t that what you want?”
Tovi wasn’t sure.