CHAPTER 33

As evening approached, Tovi sat on an elaborate cushioned chair in her bedroom, looking in a mirror as Cora pinned her hair. She wore her opal necklace, which was perfectly framed by the deep gray folds of satin that wrapped her body. As Tovi studied her reflection, her mind wandered to her life not so long ago, when the colors that sparkled from her necklace were the colors that appeared in the rivers and ponds at just the right time before dusk.

What a confusing place this was. The fullness promised by BiBi had not been enough. She still felt hollow, and the necklace felt heavy on her chest.

A quiet tap on the door made her jump out of her musings. Without permission, Calix entered and asked Cora to leave. The servant promptly obeyed, and Tovi watched her go with apprehension.

Tovi refused to turn around, so she eyed Calix through the mirror. He leaned against the wall, his hands in the pockets of his fancy gray trousers. The crisp white shirt was untucked and unbuttoned to mid-chest, his feet were bare, and he hadn’t shaved that day. Tovi tried to ignore how handsome he looked in this less-severe, unkempt state.

He then spoke so softly that Tovi almost missed what he said. “I think it’s time I told you something, Tovi. And then I have an apology to make.”

She still did not turn, but she matched his gaze through the mirror.

“I am so ashamed by the way I have treated you. There is no excuse, and I have no right to even speak to you. But I beg you to hear me out.” He paused, but when she still didn’t turn, he resumed his speech. “Anger has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. I learned it from my father who used to beat my mother, my sister, and most of all me whenever he was unhappy. He died when I was young, and I was glad to see him go.”

A black tear dripped down Calix’s face, and Tovi watched it fall to his jawline. Her own anger was fading as this man opened up to her. As he continued, he walked slowly toward Tovi.

“I inherited his anger, Tovi. I hate it. His Majesty has worked for years, teaching me to harness it. And usually I can. But every once in a while, I fail completely.”

He sank to one knee beside her and reached for her hand. She finally looked away from the mirror and into his face. More tears were building in his eyes.

“I raised my hand against you, and I will never forgive myself for it. I have shown my weakness in front of you multiple times, and it is fair if you think I hate you. But that is so far from the truth. Tovi, it is the opposite. You have taken hold of my heart, and you are all that I want. So, when I have been faced with disappointments that involve you, my love, I can’t control myself. My rage is equal to my love for you. Can you see that?”

Without thinking, Tovi reached out her gloved hand and wiped the wetness from his cheek.

“Forgive me, Tovi. Please forgive me. I just want all of this to go back to what it felt like in that tree in Adia, or when we were dancing behind the hedge. Please, give me another chance to be worthy of your love.”

Tovi’s brow wrinkled as she concentrated, trying to think despite the way his words turned her mind to mush. Her heart twisted painfully at the thought of a scared little boy hiding from his father’s wrath. She saw traces of that little boy still in front of her. “I forgive you, Calix,” she said, leaning forward to kiss him softly. “But you must never strike me again.”

“Never,” he said, his eyes boldly staring into hers. “Never.” He kissed her with hunger this time, and she could hardly catch her breath. It reminded her of their first kisses after the wedding, when she had been sorely disappointed. She sighed, coming to terms with the death of her romantic ideas about how love should feel.

“It’s almost time to go. I’ll ask Cora to come back and finish your hair,” he said. “I love you, Tovi.”

An hour later, on their way to the palace, Tovi looked down for the hundredth time, smoothing silver satin over her abdomen, feeling ridiculous with her padded chest and hips.

“You look beautiful,” Calix said, leading her up a set of wide stairs. “Stop fidgeting.”

The inside of the palace was extravagant. All she had seen on her mornings with the king had been the corridors leading to the patio. Tonight, she was escorted through plush parlors and chambers. There were thick purple carpets, life-size tapestries, and the gleam of precious metals and gems. Savory aromas swam through the air, coming from golden trays held high by male servants. A large woman with long black hair stood in a corner of the throne room singing a complicated melody.

There was general chatter all around coming from the well-dressed elite of Mount Damien. Golden chandeliers with hundreds of tiny candles bathed the space in rich light. The floor was a rich, caramel-colored marble, as were the majestic columns that supported the domed glass ceiling.

Just as Thad had described the night before, all four walls—from top to bottom—were covered in scenes painted directly onto the upright stone slabs. Part of the fourth wall was covered in a dark red curtain. Tovi noticed Xanthe standing near the wall, investigating parts of the mural. As soon as she could without being noticed, Tovi slipped away and joined her. Seeing the mural up close, she realized it had to be at least a hundred years old.

Xanthe pointed at one picture in particular and whispered to Tovi, “This one must be Adwin.” She moved along, touching the same character in each scene. “Brown eyes, brown hair. Brown eyes, brown hair. Brown eyes, brown hair. It’s the same person over and over again.”

“Brown eyes?” Tovi responded, not sure what Xanthe meant. Bright blue eyes—not brown—sparkled from every inch of the mural. The hair was brown, but the eyes were definitely blue.

Their conversation was cut short as King Damien approached. He looped Tovi’s hand under his elbow and led her out of the room. He called to his butler, “Please announce dinner.”

There were several long tables set for the guests in the palace’s formal banquet hall. King Damien sat in the center and placed Tovi in the seat of honor, directly to his left, with Calix on her other side. Eryx, seated directly across from her, stayed quiet and kept his eyes averted.

Tovi could not stop thinking about the mural. Brown eyes. Blue eyes. Had Xanthe been looking at a different person? But she had pointed very clearly at the blue-eyed man. And what about the face itself? It looked just like . . . But surely not. It must just be someone who looked a lot like S—

“Tovi, answer His Majesty when he speaks to you,” Calix chastised, snapping Tovi to attention.

“I’m so sorry! I was thinking about . . . about all your beautiful artwork inside the palace. What did you ask?”

Damien chuckled. “It’s quite all right, Tovi. I’ve only just realized that we’ve spent all this time together, but I haven’t asked a thing about your family. I’d like to know more. Tell me about them.”

“I don’t know much about them really. I grew up with two guardians, not my parents. And my twin brother.”

Damien’s face went very white and his eyes flashed as if they reflected lightning. Recovering, he said, “Twins. How wonderful. What is his name?”

“Tali, Your Majesty.”

Damien’s smile was forced, and for once he was very quiet. There was a cold and exacting aura around him as he observed Tovi more closely throughout the final courses. He hardly ate.