Index

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acting parents 174–84

and acceptable behaviour 178

and known behavioural difficulties 179

long stays/permanent 180–4

regular stays 178–9

routine and boundaries 175–7

activity overload 86–8

additives, food 121, 263–6

adopted children 180–4

attachment disorder 122–3

alcohol 232–4

allura red (E129) 265

apple crumble 372

Asperger’s syndrome 116–19

attachment disorder 122–3

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) 111, 113–16, 120, 122

and diet 262, 263, 265, 266

attitude 214–15

autistic spectrum disorders 116–19

autonomy 46–7

B vitamins 281

babies (0–1 year) 3–10

in day care 197–9

daytime routine 8–10

introducing yoghurt into diet 299

sleep 4–5

3Rs 5–6, 10

what not to do at night 6–8

bad behaviour, not bad child 55, 254

bad language

pre-teens and early teens 216

starting school 69–71

bagels 297, 315

banana and honey whip 378–9

banana smoothies 300

beans, baked 270, 274, 276, 303

beef and baby sweetcorn stir-fry 362

behavioural disorders 119–21

bereavement 94–7

Beslan school siege 105

‘big fish’ (9–11 years) 78–91

activity overload 86–8

children comparing parents 79–80

disciplining child’s friends 90–1

don’t compare your child 84–5

parental peer pressure 86

safety/independence balance 81–4

3Rs 83–4, 88–9, 90

bipolar disorder 121–2

biscuits, calories in 269

black pudding 303

blackmail by children 17, 146

BMI (body mass index) 270

board games 63

body language (non-verbal communication) 23–4, 147–8

boundaries 12, 73, 139, 254

acting parents 175–7

during bereavement 95–6

Boxing Day tsunami 105

bread

breakfast ideas 297–8

calories in 269

fibre in 277

protein in 274

wraps and rolls for packed lunch 314–15

see also toast

bread pudding 376–7

breakfast

for adults 310

cooked 301–10

drinks 295

full English 302–3

importance of 293, 295

leftovers for 309–10

quick, ideas for 296–301

routine 294–5

school 309

bubble and squeak 342

bulgur wheat 322

bullying 71–2

caffeine 263, 295

cake 259, 260, 269, 275

cake in custard 378

calcium 282

calories 267–70

in average portions 269–70

required for boys/girls 268

carbohydrate 274–5, 295

carmoisine (E122) 265

casseroles and hot pots 355–9

English hot pot 358

meat and vegetable 356

vegetable 357

cauliflower cheese 328

cause and effect 74–5, 253

celibacy 242

cereal

breakfast 296

calories in 269

fibre in 277

character 46–9

cheating 63–4

cheese 279, 281, 282

fillings 316

sauce 334–5, 359

cheesecake 379

chicken and noodle stir-fry, honeyed 362–3

childminders 201

closed choice 34–6, 255

reforming siblings 161

in school 191

cod liver oil 279

comparison

of children by parents 84–5, 109, 255

of parents by children 79–80

computers see television/computer sanctions

Conduct Disorder 119–21

consistency 21–2

control 24–8, 254

and bullying 72

food as means of 288, 292

maintaining, with difficult children 147–56

parent/child balance 26–8, 49

regaining, with difficult children 127–8

cooking times, meat

frying 370

grilling 369

roasting 365–6

cottage pie 348–9

couscous 322–3

crime 53, 124

crisps 259, 269, 323

croissants 298, 315

crying 4, 5

Request, Repeat, Reassure 5–6

to sleep 7–8

curry 353–5

dairy produce

calories in 270, 279

fat in 279

vitamins and minerals in 281, 282–3

decision-making 27–8

dehydration 284, 295, 314, 345

denial 75–8

desserts

dinner 371–80

lunch 343–5

diabetes 262, 276

diet 114, 255

bad 259–61

and behaviour 121, 261–2

good (well-balanced) 267–83

reducing fat in 280

difficult children 124–63

addressing key issues 128–9

allowing extra time 138

being demanding 140–1

blackmail 146

body language 147–8

confrontation 134–6

family meeting 130–1

family norm 153–5

food 152–3

impudence 141–2

interrupting and talking over 142–3

maintaining control 147–56

no excuses 155–6

parent leads 149

parent’s chair 149–50

parent’s conversation 152

parent’s phone 151

politeness 139–40

progress 138–9

quality time 136–7

reforming siblings 156–63

regaining control 127–8

routine 129–30

rudeness and aggression 140

selfishness 143–4

signs of 125–7

stepchildren 160–1

3Rs 129, 131–4, 148

throwing things 145–6

turning around 33–4, 57, 89, 124–46

zero tolerance 128

dinner (main meal) 346–81

convenience food 381

main courses 347–71

puddings 371–80

divorce or separation 97–9

Father Christmas syndrome 98–9

drinks

additives in 265–6

breakfast 295

calories in 270

at home 345

packed lunch 314

see also fluid

drug abuse 232–3, 235–7

dysfunctional families 56–7

E numbers 263–4

causing problems in behaviour 265–6

egg 302

breakfast ideas 304–7

calories in 270

fillings 316

protein in 274

egg in a nest 326–7

eggy bread 307

emotional abuse 54

excusing child’s behaviour 155–6

facts of life 70, 238

family meetings

difficult children 130–1

reforming siblings 157–9, 163

stepfamilies 170

family norm 153–5

family time 111

teens 210–11

fast food, calories in 269

fat 278–80

fibre 275–8

fighting (siblings) 162

fillings 315–17

fish

fillings 316

oily 279

protein in 274

fish and sweetcorn pie 358–9

fluid 284

see also drinks

food

additives 263–6

breakfast 295–310

calories in 269–70, 279–80

and difficult children 152–3

fat in 279–80

fibre in 276–7

fussiness/refusal to eat 153, 288–92

as means of control 288, 292

processed 121, 259, 260–1, 262

protein in 274

vitamins and minerals in 281–3

withholding 291

see also diet

foster children

absence of respect 52–3

attachment disorder 122–3

autism 118–19

bad language 69

disregard for consequences 74

‘honeymoon period’ 179, 180–1

ignorance of acceptable behaviour 56–7

impact of moving into care 100–1

initial aloofness with difficult children 189

left to cry as babies 7

promiscuity 241–2

regression 43–4

role of family members 183–4

sanctions 32–4

school discipline 194

smacking banned 13

special needs diagnoses 112–15

taking adult’s chair 150

talking over 143

tantrums 18–19

throwing things 145–6

turning around 33–4, 57, 89, 125, 150

see also acting parents

friends (children’s), disciplining 90–1

friends (parents’), looking after children 202–3

fruit

breakfast ideas 298–9

calories in 269

fibre in 277

lunch ideas (home) 343–4

lunch pot ideas 318–19

gravy, onion 352

height, average 271–2

heroin 237

homosexuality 242

hot pots 355, 358

see also casseroles and hot pots

house rules 253

differences between families 79–80, 81

reforming siblings 157

teens 220–1

young adults 246

hummus 316

humour 64

imitation 10–11

impudence 141–2

individuality 47, 79

interrupting and talking over 142–3

iron 282

kids’ hash 326

kids’ kebabs 340–2

lasagne 349–50

leading (parent first) 149

leftovers 309–10

lentil soup 331–2

liberal attitudes 124–5, 193

lunch

bread, wraps and rolls 314–17

convenience food 345

home 324–45

packed 313–24

pasta 333–9

pots 318–23

school 311–12

toast 339–40

macaroni cheese 334–5

magnesium 283

material possessions 68

mealtimes

establishing good 286–7

importance of 285–6

meat 364

braising 367

calories in 270, 280

cold fillings 315

fat in 280

frying 369–70

grilling 368–9

protein in 274

roasting 365–7

stewing 367–8

and two veg suggestions 364–71

meat and vegetable casserole 356

Mr Nobody syndrome 75

mobile phones 68

Monopoly 63

moving house 100–4

muffins, English 298, 315

mushroom soup, cream of 332–3

naan 315, 354–5

nannies 203–4

naughty chair 28–30

neglect, unintentional 54

9/11 105

non-verbal communication see body language

nursery 38–9

children’s anxieties 44–6

nursery staff 196–200

nuts

fat in 280

fibre in 277

lunch pot ideas 319

protein in 274

obesity 262

older teens (15–18 years) 227–42

peer groups influence 229–32

sex and relationships 238–42

smoking, alcohol and drug abuse 232–7

omega-3 oils 121

omelette 304

onion gravy 352

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) 119–21

and tartrazine 266

pancakes 308–9

parental attention 54

parental peer pressure 86

parent’s chair 149–50

parent’s conversation 152

parent’s phone 151

pasta

fibre in 277

lunch pots 320–1

lunches at home 333–9

main meals 347–8, 349–50

protein in 274

pasta bake 336–7

peanut butter 274, 316

peer group influence

older teens 229–32

school 67–8, 79

pepper, stuffed 327–8

pets, death of 96–7

play 62–4

teamwork and cooperation 72

playfulness 64

politeness 51

difficult children 139–40

ponceau (E124) 266

positive expectations 22–4, 254

teachers 188

potato

calories in 270

and carrot soup 330–1

jacket 311, 325

protein in 274

pots, lunch

fruit/nut 318–19

main meal 320–3

praise 32, 55, 74, 85, 254

reforming siblings 159, 163

teens 209, 215, 225

and 3Rs 15–16, 49, 118, 191

precocious children 48–9

pregnancy, teenage 241, 242

pre-teens and early teens (11–15 years) 205–27

attitude 214–15

bad language 216

bedrooms 219–20

communication 209

don’t criticise 209–10

don’t take it personally 213

don’t tease 212

family time 210–11

give responsibility 211

golden rules 208–14

guide 210

hear their views 208–9

house rules 220–1

image 217

praise 209

privacy 208

rewards 225

safety 211–12

sanctions 223–5

3Rs 210, 213–14, 215, 218–19, 225–6

truancy 221–3

unwelcome habits 218–19

preschool staff 196–200

preschoolers see rising fives

presence 186

privacy 208, 255

processed food 121, 259, 260–1, 262

protein 273–4, 295

puberty 205

puddings 371–80

see also desserts

quality time 54, 255

difficult children 136–7

young adults 252

quiet time see time out

quinoline yellow (E104) 265

reasonableness 24–6, 28

redundancy 99–100

regression

older children 43–4

preschoolers 42–3

relatives looking after children 202–3

respect 50–4, 255

children and teachers 195–6

‘respite’ fostering 115, 177

responsibility 255

for bad behaviour 75–8

siblings 109, 160

teens 211

restraining 61

reverse psychology 19

rewards 31–2

reforming siblings 158–9

teens 225

toddlers 17–18

rice 354

lunch pot 321–2

pudding 375–6

rising fives/preschoolers (3–5 years) 37–49

behaviour and character 46–9

morning routine 39–41

nursery 38–9

nursery anxieties 44–6

regression 42–3

Ritalin 114

roasting times, meat 365–6

role playing 62–3

routine 3, 4, 253

acting parents 175–7

babies’ daytime 8–10

breakfast 294–5

children with autism/Asperger’s 117

in day care 197–8

difficult children 129–30

during bereavement 95–6

preschoolers’ morning 39–41

reforming siblings 157

rudeness and aggression 140

safety

balance with independence 81–4

teens 211–12

salad

fillings 316–17

lunch pot 319

salt 260, 284

sanctions 32–4

difficult children 136

teens 223–5

sauce

cheese 334–5, 359

stir-fry 361

tomato 335–6

sausage and rice pan casserole 328–9

school see big fish; starting school; teachers; truancy

school dinner 311–12

‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ 23, 188

selfishness 143–4

separation anxiety 176, 184

sex and relationships 238–42

sexual abuse 194

siblings 36, 107–11, 255

dos and don’ts 109–11

play together and apart 62

reasons for fighting 108–9

reforming 156–63

sleep, babies 4–5

bed-sharing 6

crying to 7–8

daytime routine 8–10

3Rs 5–6, 10

smacking 13, 54, 204, 254

smoking 232–3, 234–5

smoothies

breakfast 299–301

lunch 344

snacks 382

soup 329–33

lentil 331–2

mushroom, cream of 332–3

potato and carrot 330–1

spaghetti (lunch) 337–8

spaghetti bolognese 347–8

special needs 111–23

Spock, Dr 3, 11

sponge pudding 377

star charts 32, 158–9

starting school (5–8 years) 65–78

bad language 69–71

being disliked by your child 73

bullying 71–2

cause and effect 74–5

school influence 66–8

taking responsibility for bad behaviour 75–8

STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) 241, 242

stealing 78

step-parents 164–73

being tested 169–70

bonding and fairness 171–2

don’t blame the stepfamily 172–3

don’t criticise the estranged parent 168

observe family dynamics 167–8

older stepchildren 166–7

out-of-control children 170–1

parenting essentials 173

use what works 169

young stepchildren 165–6

stir-fries 360–4

stress 92–4

manifestation in children 93

sugar 259, 260–1, 262, 275, 295

sugar high 262, 295

sunset yellow (E110) 265

swearing 69–71, 216

sweets

additives in 265–6

banned from packed lunch 313

calories in 269

reason for limiting 260

tagliatelle 338–9

tantrums 16–17

older children 18–19

tartrazine (E102) 266

teachers 148, 184–96

avoid over-familiarity 189

and children’s home life 194

class dynamics 194

don’t reward bad behaviour 192

gaining attention 187

initial aloofness 189

keep physical distance 190

no discussion 193

parents working with 66–7

positive expectations 188

presence 186

and respect 195–6

and teaching assistants 193

using the 3Rs 191

using time out 195

voice modulation 187–8

techniques 22–37, 50–64

teenagers

closed choice 35–6

time out 60

turning around unacceptable behaviour 57

see also pre-teens and early teens; older teens

television/computer sanctions 33–4

terrible twos 11–12

third person 30–1, 254

3Rs (Request, Repeat, Reassure/Reaffirm) 12, 266

babies 5–6, 10

body language 148

children with autism/Asperger’s 117–18, 119

children’s friends 90

and the closed choice 36

in day care 197–8, 199

difficult children 129, 131–4, 148

morning routine 40–1

9–11-year-olds 83–4, 88–9, 90

persistent challenges 83–4

persistent misbehaviour 23

playing fairly 63–4

preschoolers 40–1, 49

reasonable requests 24–6, 28

reforming siblings 161

and respect 50–1, 53

sanctions 32–3

at school 191

swearing 70

tantrums 17, 19

teens 210, 213–14, 215, 218–19, 225–6

time out 58

toddlers 13–16, 17, 19–21

throwing things 145–6

time out (quiet time) 57–61

adults 59

reforming siblings 161–2

at school 195

teenagers 60

toad in the hole 350–1

toast

breakfast 296, 303

lunch 339–40

toasted sandwiches 308, 340

toddlers 10–22

consistency 21–2

in day care 199–200

rewards 17–18

smacking 13

tantrums 16–17

terrible twos 11–12

3Rs (stopping unwanted behaviour) 19–21

3Rs (when child refuses Request) 13–16

tomato pasta 335–6

tooth decay 262

trifle 380

truancy 221–3

vegetable casserole 357

vegetables

calories in 270

cooking 364–5

fibre in 276–7

vitamins and minerals in 281–3

vitamins and minerals 281–3

lack of, in poor diet 259, 260, 381

steaming to preserve 364–5

weight, ideal 270–2

Welsh rarebit 307–8

world events 104–6

wrong behaviour, explaining 55–7

yeast extract 316

yoghurt 270, 274, 279, 299, 314, 344

additives 264, 265, 266, 299

young adults 243–52

enjoying 252

level of maturity 244–7

new rules and expectations 247–50

parents moving house 102–3

in trouble 250–2

zero tolerance

difficult children 128, 136

reforming siblings 161

zinc 283