Luke watched Alice over the top of his newspaper. She paced in the hallway, carrying Arthur close, rocking him back and forth, while singing a lullaby to him. His eyes were fighting to stay open, while tiny fingers gripped the sleeve of her loose-fitting cream blouse; cancelling afternoon tea had some advantages. Without looking up, she pushed at the sitting room door, not noticing the usual squeak of its hinges. The low grey clouds created drabness in the room, giving it a sombre feel. She sat on the sofa and laid Arthur against the arm, where she could watch him. He gave a little whimper, so she rested her hand on his chest and hummed for a couple of seconds.
Luke closed his paper, before folding and placing it on the side table, between the sofa and the armchair.
The rustling of pages startled Alice. ‘Sorry, Father, I'm afraid I was in a world of my own and didn't realise you were home.’
Luke remained silent as he watched his daughter with his grandson. ‘You are going to make that baby soft.’
Alice glared at him, dressed in the usual brown suit, with his white shirt and brown tie. She opened her mouth to speak, but changed her mind and glanced down at the front page of the newspaper that was sitting on the table. ‘I heard a rumour at Victoria Station they’re introducing conscription; is that true?’ Alice glanced across at her father.
Luke yawned. ‘Yes, I think you'll find they have already.’
Anger suddenly bubbled inside her. Her colour began to rise. ‘For God's sake, when will this end? Enough innocent people have already died, on both sides.’
Luke stared at Alice. ‘Don't blaspheme. I understand you and your mother have been serving on the buffet table at Victoria Station.’
Alice nodded and her anger began to subside at the memory of those men. ‘Yes, it’s heart wrenching.’ She sucked in her breath. ‘The soldiers look so sad. Pain is etched on their faces; none of them will ever be the same again, you know.’
Luke sighed. ‘I don't know why you or your mother do it.’
Alice's lips tightened into a thin line, seconds before she jumped up. ‘What? I can't believe you said that. All you do is preach about doing our bit for the war. Charles is missing and it's your fault. He only enlisted because he wanted you to be proud of him, and look where that has got him. What's worse is you don't even care.’
Luke stood up. ‘Your mother made him soft, and you are going to do the same to your son.’ He took a deep breath as he wandered over to the whisky decanter. ‘Women shouldn't be left in charge of boys, because they end up making them soft in the head.’
‘I don't know how you can say that. Charles was a bright, happy child, whereas Robert bullied us, forever playing ‘the eldest’ card, so he could get away with it.’ She glared across at her father; his back stiffening didn't stop her. ‘And what's more, you allowed it because he could do no wrong in your eyes. You turned him into a bully, Father.’ She watched him pour a large whisky into a tumbler. ‘Like you,’ she mumbled.
Luke turned around and stared at her. He arched his eyebrows. ‘Have you quite finished?’
Alice took a deep breath. ‘No. No, actually I haven't. You don't care that we haven't heard from Robert since the day he signed up. Freddie was with Charles, so God alone knows what's happened to those two. You want to know why we go to Victoria Station?’ She paused, waiting for a response, but he stood in silence. ‘We go, so we can look out for the men in this family. There’s nothing else we can do to find them, but you on the other hand could be asking your so-called influential friends if they can find out anything. Any news at all would be better than not knowing. You go to that damn club every day, but you offer us nothing in the way of kindness or support. I’ve had to ask Molly's father to write some letters, because you’ve done nothing. Charles, and even Robert, deserve better than that. Call yourself a father; you’re just a cold fish that’s squashed mother's strength for years, with your tyrannical attitude. Well I can tell you, she’s got strength I didn't know about, because it was buried so deep. She's the one saying we should stay positive. She's the one out looking for them, not you.’
Luke's jaw dropped. His eyes widened as he stared at his eldest daughter. His body stiffened as he took a step nearer to her. He slammed his glass down; the amber liquid spilt over the sides and dribbled on to the table.
Seeing the glint of steel in her father's eyes, Alice stepped backwards. She ignored the fear that gripped her chest. ‘Come on, Father, have you got nothing to say?’ she taunted him. ‘Tell me, what have you been doing for the war effort?’
Luke's hands clenched and unclenched by his sides. ‘I am not answerable to you, or anyone else for that matter, and if you want to stay living in my house, you will watch your tongue.’
Alice pulled her shoulders back and jutted out her chin. Her heart pounded in her chest; the tension was tangible. ‘I can tell you what you've done – nothing.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You know, you could be visiting the men at Charing Cross Hospital. Some of them are so bandaged up, they can't read or see anything. Some of them have no families to visit them. You could be helping with some of the services, or just handing out cups of tea, but no, unless you can do the manly thing of going off to fight, it's beneath you.’ Alice saw the pulsating at the side of her father's temple, but the gate had been opened and she could no longer close it.
Arthur gave a cry, waving his arms around and kicking his legs. Alice bent down and picked him up. ‘Sshh little one, everything’s all right,’ she whispered as she rocked him back and forth again.
Luke sped past Alice, as he escaped her onslaught.
*
Sarah rushed into the sitting room. ‘What's happened?’ Her face flushed as she quickly looked around, before settling on Alice. ‘Your father has just rushed past me, with a face like thunder. I tried to talk to him but he ignored me and slammed the front door as he left.’ Her hands clenched in front of her. ‘He didn't even put his coat on,’ she mumbled. ‘He'll freeze out there.’
Alice looked sheepishly at her mother. ‘I think you'll find that it was my fault.’
Sarah raised her eyebrows. ‘Yours?’
‘Yes, I'm afraid I actually told him what I thought about him.’ Alice bit down on her bottom lip. ‘I’d say I’m sorry, but I'm not.’
‘I don't know what to say, except that I'm shocked.’
Alice gave a bitter laugh. ‘Yes, I think he was as well.’
Sarah stared at her eldest daughter for a moment. ‘Nothing has happened has it? I mean, you haven't had any news, have you?’
‘No. He told me I was making my son soft, and said you’d done the same with Charles.’ Alice sighed. ‘I think he may never forgive me, so I shall have to start looking for my own home soon.’
Sarah's eyes widened as she slumped into the chair. ‘You can obviously move out whenever you see fit, but it has to be when you want to, and not because your father didn't like hearing some home truths.’
Alice's jaw slackened as she looked over at her mother. ‘I probably did go too far, but once I’d started, I couldn't seem to control myself.’
‘He was probably more shocked that it was you. He expects it from Lily, although she does seem to have been more settled since she has gained a purpose in her life.’ Sarah shook her head. ‘I wish I’d seen his face.’ She lifted her hand and patted down the back of her grey hair.
‘It's better that you weren't here.’ Alice frowned. ‘I didn't plan it; to be honest, it caught me by surprise. I don't know what got into me.’
Sarah laughed. ‘Oh, I expect I can tell you that. You were probably inadvertently protecting your child. It's instinctive.’
Alice nodded. ‘Well, I hope you don't get any backlash from it.’ She looked down at her son, before glancing across at her mother. ‘He did say if I wanted to continue to live here, I had to be quiet, but I kept going.’
Sarah stood up and wandered over to her daughter. ‘Don't worry about it; I'll sort it out.’ She smiled down at Arthur. ‘You need the support of your family around you, at least until Freddie gets home.’
‘Where do you suppose he's gone?’ Alice frowned, now wishing she had kept her mouth shut.
Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ‘Don't worry yourself. He's probably gone to the club; he'll be back when he's hungry.’ She smiled down at Arthur. ‘He's such a contented baby.’
Alice smiled down at her son, whose big eyes were staring up at the pair of them. ‘Go on, you can pick him up if you want to.’ She laughed. ‘And you know you do.’
Sarah beamed as she scooped him into her arms and planted a kiss on his forehead. ‘It’s wonderful having a baby in the house.’ She walked around the room, talking to him in a sing-song voice. ‘He certainly takes my mind off everything else, don't you, yes you do.’
Arthur smiled up at Sarah.
She screamed with delight. ‘Did you see that? I just got a lovely smile.’
Alice laughed as she walked over to the window. She pulled the black material first, to stop any light seeping out onto the street, and then pulled the heavy brown curtains. She yearned for the longer days of spring. Alice looked round at the sound of her mother's murmurings, and smiled. Arthur was sound asleep in her mother's arms and she was still talking to him. ‘Shall I take him off you, so you can relax for a little while, before father comes home?’
Sarah looked up and gave her daughter a smile. ‘This is relaxing; I’m in my element.’ Her gaze went back to her grandson.
Alice sat down and picked up her knitting. She pulled the soft fibres of the pale blue wool flat on her lap and examined the stitches. ‘Hmm, I think I'm getting better at this knitting malarkey.’
‘What are you making?’ Sarah glanced up and frowned. ‘That looks too pale to be socks for the men.’
Alice laughed. ‘I thought I’d have a go at knitting Arthur a cardigan.’
Sarah nodded. ‘You should be all right; just take your time.’
The house shuddered as the front door slammed shut. Alice's head jerked up and she quickly looked at her mother, who had done the same thing. She braced herself for her father's anger, not taking her eyes off the sitting room door. Her body was rigid and, without realising it, she held her breath, waiting, wanting to get it over and done with. The door slowly opened.
‘Evening.’ Lily flopped into an armchair and closed her eyes, oblivious to the looks of relief that had slowly spread across her mother and sister's faces. ‘What a day. It's quite bitter out there this evening. Sorry about the door, but the wind seemed to whisk it out of my fingers.’ It was only then she opened her eyes and looked across at the other occupants of the room. ‘What's the matter with you two?’
‘Nothing,’ Alice answered quickly, forcing her attention back to her knitting.
Lily frowned and her gaze moved from one to the other. ‘Come on, tell’
‘We just thought you were Father coming in,’ Alice answered vaguely, but didn't look up.
‘Hmm.’ Lily squinted at the pair of them. ‘Don't forget I am a police officer and can smell a rat a mile away.’ She stood up and began unbuttoning her jacket. ‘Come on, let's have it.’
Alice smiled at her sister. ‘Are you going all policeman on us?’
Lily pulled her jacket off and slung it over the arm of the chair. ‘Policewoman actually, but yes I am, so come on, out with it.’
Sarah sighed. ‘It's nothing. Alice had an argument with your father.’
Lily's jaw dropped as she lowered herself back into the chair. ‘Well, I'll be…’
Alice frowned as her sister's voice faded away. ‘There's no need to be so astonished.’
‘You are kidding me, right?’ Lily fidgeted in her seat. ‘You actually had an argument with Father?’ She paused, raising her eyebrows. ‘What, a real argument, or did you just ignore some banal instruction he gave you?’
Alice took a deep breath, not really wanting to talk about it. ‘You’re talking as though I am not capable of such a thing.’
Lily laughed for a few minutes, before wiping the tears from her eyes. ‘If I'm being honest, I didn't think you were,’ she said, in between gulping for air.
Alice shook her head. ‘Well I'm clearly more capable than you thought, thank you very much.’
Lily's laughter stopped and she looked over at Alice. ‘Don't misunderstand me, I’m thrilled. It's about time the women in this family started to fight back.’
*
There was a light knock on the sitting room door, before it slowly opened. Alice winced as the familiar squeak became more pronounced. ‘We must put something on those hinges; I'm sure they’re getting worse.’
Sarah nodded as Mrs Headley walked through the doorway.
‘I'm sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering about dinner, ma'am.’ The housekeeper stood with her hands clasped in front of her. ‘Did you want to delay the evening meal until Mr Taylor comes home, or would you like me to bring the food to the table?’
Sarah glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. With a sharp intake of breath, she frowned, before looking back at Mrs Headley. ‘Thank you for the reminder. I hadn't realised time had run away so; I think we should eat now.’
‘Very well, ma'am.’ Mrs Headley nodded. ‘If you’d like to make your way to the dining room, I shall bring in the dishes.’ She turned and vacated the room.
Alice also stared at the clock, momentarily mesmerised by the pendulum swinging back and forth. She clenched her hands on her lap, before looking over at her mother. ‘Where do you suppose he is?’ Alice looked back at the clock. ‘He should’ve been home long before now.’
‘Stop worrying.’ Lily stood up and straightened her skirt. ‘He’s probably had dinner at the club.’
Alice shook her head. ‘I don't think he ever eats there.’ She glanced across at her mother. ‘Does he?’
Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ‘Not to my knowledge, but there's a first time for everything.’ She stood up, the soft folds of her skirt dropping effortlessly to her calves. ‘Well, wherever he is, we still have to eat.’ Sarah took a couple of steps to the door before turning to Alice. ‘Do you want to check on Arthur before we eat? Although I’m sure he’s sound asleep.’
‘I'll do it.’ Lily beamed. ‘Any excuse to gaze at my handsome nephew.’ She sped out of the door, before a response could be formulated.
Alice shook her head, but couldn't resist smiling after her. As she entered the dining room, she glanced over at her mother and noticed her face was quite pale. Her knuckles were white and her hands gripped each other. Alice reached out and rested her hand on her mother's arm. ‘Are you worried about Father?’
Sarah briefly looked at Alice, before lowering her eyes and licking her lips. ‘I’m sure he’s fine; stop worrying.’
Alice's hands dropped to her sides and she stared down at her feet. ‘I’m sorry I’ve caused this worry. As if we haven't got enough going on.’ She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a heavy sigh.
‘Don't blame yourself, Alice.’ Sarah smiled as she shook her head and walked stiffly over to the table. ‘Your father is used to being the voice of authority, so for you, of all people, not to show respect probably hit home a little.’ Sarah gave a hollow laugh. ‘If it had been Lily on the other hand, he probably wouldn't have batted an eyelid, although he still wouldn't have liked it.’
Alice nodded. ‘I’m so sorry; I didn't mean for this to happen.’
Lily grinned. Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she walked in. ‘That boy of yours is wonderful; so cute. I could sit and watch him all day.’ She giggled as she pulled out a dining chair from the table. ‘Right, what are we having for dinner?’
A deep golden-brown pie was sitting on a plate, in the centre of the table. Sarah picked up the sharp knife next to it and cut into the pastry. Crumbs fell onto the white tablecloth. ‘It looks like cheese and potato pie, and we’ve carrots to go with it.’ She pulled out a small wedge and steam escaped, as she balanced it on the knife, before placing it on her own plate.
‘Excellent, I'm starving. It smells delicious.’ Lily passed her plate over to her mother. ‘If it's all right, can I have a bigger piece than you?’ She laughed. ‘That little bit wouldn't keep the mouse in the larder going for very long.’
Alice and her mother shook their heads in unison.
‘You get worse instead of better.’ Sarah glared at Lily. ‘Don't talk about mice in the larder; I hate anything like that.’
Lily raised her eyebrows and gave Alice a knowing look, before glancing back to her mother. ‘You know I was only joking.’ She grinned. ‘I haven't been in the larder to know whether there’s a mouse in there or not.’
Sarah's eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but closed it again. She shook her head and continued to cut the pie, placing slices onto the plates.
The women ate in silence. Sarah pushed her food around, eating very little. Alice watched her, with a heavy feeling of responsibility.
Lily put her knife and fork down on the side of her plate. ‘Come on, Mother, stop playing with your food. You’ve got to eat.’
Alice glared at Lily, who proceeded to pull a face back. Alice tilted her head and rested her hand on her mother's arm. ‘You’re worried about him, aren't you?’
Lily squinted at her mother. ‘Shall I see if I can get someone from the police station to go to the club, to see if he's there?’
Sarah's head snapped up. ‘No, no that definitely won't do. Your father would be so embarrassed, and then we’d all be in trouble.’
‘I don't know what we can do.’ Alice paused. ‘We could cycle to all the hospitals, to see if he's been in an accident.’
Sarah gasped. ‘I hadn't thought of the hospitals. I just thought—’
‘Perhaps you upset him so much, he has caught a train to Sandringham,’ Lily threw in, as she picked up her cutlery.
‘He wouldn't have gone there; he didn't take anything with him.’ Sarah shook her head. ‘He was too angry when he left here, to plan where he was going.’
‘What’s at Sandringham?’ Lily arched her brows. ‘Why haven't we ever been there, and more importantly, why haven't you ever been there?’
Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ‘He has family up there.’
Lily leant in towards her mother. ‘Have you met them? Did they come to your wedding? How do you know he doesn't have a second—’
Alice glared at her sister. ‘Stop interrogating her.’
‘Sorry, I got carried away.’ Lily stared at her mother for a moment. ‘I’m intrigued why he has kept us all separate though.’
‘He hasn't kept us separate.’ Sarah took a deep breath. ‘He just thinks they’ll have nothing in common with us. I think he’s a little ashamed.’
Alice tightened her lips. ‘If that's true, it's terrible.’
Lily sighed. ‘Well, I don't suppose we’ll ever know, but whatever you said to him clearly hit home.’
Sarah pushed her chair away and stood up. She gripped the side of the table and closed her eyes, before taking some deep breaths.
Alice stood up, knocking her chair over. ‘Are you all right? Do you feel dizzy?’
Sarah fell like a stone, hitting her head on the table on her way down.