AUGUST 18

Dad,

Stanford called three times this afternoon, but he didn’t say much. Actually, he didn’t say anything. He just hung up when I answered. I knew it was him from the caller ID.

I’m so glad that I’m over him. I mean, all I did was think about him, day and night. Today I was constantly not thinking about him, which means that I had a lot of extra time. I was in my room not thinking about him, and then he called. Then I had to think about him, and then I forced myself not to. And then he called again. See what a pain he is? Maybe Millicent was right when she said, “He’s not even worth a second thought.”

I can’t believe that I ever liked Stanford. Isn’t it enough that he played a really mean trick on me? Now he’s doing phone hang-ups. He’s the one with the hang-ups. Like how stupid and immature he is. I guess I’m glad he never was my boyfriend. I wonder if Juliet had this much trouble with Romeo?

Wouldn’t you know, today Alice asked me about the play?

“I returned it to the library.”

She looked up from her fruit salad. “Really? Well, how did you like it?”

I considered lying, but there has been too much lying going on here already.

“I didn’t read it.”

“Oh,” Alice said. I could see that she was pretending it was no big deal. “Well, that’s okay, I guess. It was probably unfair of me to give you a reading assignment.” She speared a grape with her fork. “You have much better things to do than hole up with a book!”

The sad fact was I didn’t have anything better to do. Not anymore.

“I haven’t seen Millie for a couple days,” Alice continued. She offered me a strawberry, but I shook my head. “She must be busy with her studies. Why don’t you invite her for a sleepover? I can order out for dinner. Millicent loves Pizza Wheels.”

“I can’t …”

“Sure you can, just call her.”

“No, I mean, I can’t. We’re not talking.”

Alice put down her fork. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Did you have a fight?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“What happened?”

How could I explain to Alice what happened when I’m not sure myself? All I know is that Millicent didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. That hurts more than whatever it was she was trying to hide from me.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Alice was quiet before saying, “Well, if you ever do want to talk. About Millicent, or anything, anything at all, I want you to know that I am here for you.”

“Whatever.”

“Emily, I am here for you, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Now can I go?”

I’ve been using my BeDazzler a lot lately, but I can never seem to finish anything. Lavender is talking to a lot of sad people right now. I’m considering calling her. If I did, I’d tell her that I am all alone.

Wait … Lavender just said something amazing.

“Now for all the lonely people out there, I want to tell you, don’t give up. There is hope over the horizon. Don’t let sadness get the better of you. You can let loneliness beat you, or you can beat it. And you know that I’m in your corner, that’s why this song is for you….”

Now she’s playing “Lonely People” by a band called America. Do you know them?

I am going to listen to Lavender now. She probably knows me better than anyone.

Emily