By lunchtime the next day, despite several more attempts to contact her, Lizzie still hadn’t shown up. It was driving me mad now – like she’d abandoned me when I needed her most – so, to distract myself, I went with Mum and Lauren to see the funeral director. They had an appointment to discuss the arrangements for next week. I was in the back seat of Dad’s BMW, which Mum had just pulled up outside the funeral parlour. It was the first time I’d seen her drive his car, rather than her Corsa. She usually claimed to find it hard to park, but today she’d grabbed the keys and muttered something about it needing a run. As Lauren undid her seat belt, I braced myself to slip out of the door behind her. But before I had a chance to grab my window of opportunity, I felt a tap on my shoulder. The shock of being touched, when I was so unused to feeling anything, caused me to lurch forward into Lauren’s arm. That in turn catapulted me back on to the rear seat. There, with my head squashed against the fabric, I found myself staring into Lizzie’s eyes.
‘Hello, William. Sorry about that. How are you?’
‘How am I? Where on earth did you get to? I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday. I thought you’d abandoned me.’
‘I know. I can only apologize for that. I’ve been … well, let’s just say things have been hectic.’
I shook my head. ‘Hectic?’
‘Yes. But I’m here for you now. Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?’
I pulled away from her before she had a chance to touch me. ‘No. Here’s fine.’
‘Okay. No problem. What did you want to discuss?’
‘How about we start with Alice coming to visit me? That was a surprise. I believe you had something to do with it.’
‘Yes. And? Did it help?’
‘Was it really her?’
‘Of course.’
‘She said that Ella would be better off without me here and asked me to join her on the other side. She said she was waiting for me. Now that I’ve had time to think, it all seems a bit convenient. Like she was saying what you wanted me to hear.’
Lizzie nodded. ‘I see why you might think that, but I can assure you there’s no conspiracy going on. Alice spoke for herself. I sent her because I’m trying to present you with all the facts before you make your decision. I think you know that I’m also the one who brought Arthur to you. It’s thanks to his advice that you made contact with Ella. Why would I do that if I wanted to push you towards passing over? My goal is for you to make that choice yourself because you believe it to be the right one. Anything less and I’ve failed.’
‘So you’re admitting your link to Arthur now, are you? Last time I mentioned him to you, you played dumb.’
‘There was a good reason for that,’ Lizzie sighed. ‘He and I both stepped outside the rules. He shouldn’t have—’
‘I know, I know. Arthur already explained. So why did you ask for his help?’
‘For you. I don’t want his fate to be yours.’
She explained that Arthur had been one of her early assignments as a guide. The sacrifice he’d made by staying with his wife and then letting her pass over without him, forsaking his own chance at happiness, had always weighed on Lizzie’s mind. She still blamed herself for it. Then I came along: someone acquainted with Arthur, facing a comparable dilemma to his own. Plus there was the fact that Lizzie and I had both been killed in cycling accidents. Collectively, it felt like more than coincidence. So she interpreted it as a sign – and decided to act on it.
‘I had to do something different,’ she said. ‘I knew as soon as I met you that there was a chance of history repeating itself. Because of that, I chose to bend the rules, hoping it would lead you to the right decision. Bringing Alice here yesterday was part of that.’
‘But Arthur’s all right,’ I said. ‘He might have given up his chance of passing over, but he seems to be managing.’
‘He puts a brave face on it,’ Lizzie replied. ‘But he’ll never see his wife again. He could be with her in paradise now. Instead he’s trapped here. Alone. I do my best to stay in touch – to keep him sane – but I fear that one day it will get too much for him and he’ll lose what’s left of his humanity. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone.’
I thought back to the ferocious spirit I’d encountered in the hospital corridor and shuddered at the idea of Arthur ending up like that.
‘So he made a mistake?’
She shrugged. ‘Arthur did what he felt he had to. What he thought was right. It was a selfless act of love. But I doubt he’d advise anyone to do the same.’
‘Where is Arthur, by the way? I can’t get hold of him. I know he’s had to be careful since the pavilion incident. He said that was under control, but … he is all right, isn’t he?’
‘Yes. Don’t worry. He’s having to keep an extra low profile for now, that’s all. Unfortunately, another guide has got wind of him helping you: Hardy, he’s called. Bit of a stickler for the rules. I think you ran into him a couple of times at the church. I’ve managed to contain the situation so far, but – well – as I said before, it’s been hectic.’
‘Oh no. You’re joking. I know exactly who you mean. Shit. Sorry. Um, I, er, think that might be my fault. I was calling Arthur’s name, trying to find him. The last thing I meant to do was land him in trouble. I didn’t tell this Hardy who he was when he asked me, but he must have worked it out. Damn.’
Lizzie screwed up her face. ‘It gets better. Hardy’s also your father’s guide.’
‘What? I don’t believe it. He never said a word to me. I … oh, don’t tell me Dad was with him in the church that last time.’
She nodded. ‘I’m afraid so. I’ve asked Hardy repeatedly if you can meet with him, but he won’t allow it. He says your father doesn’t want to and, considering the circumstances, I daren’t push him any further.’
‘Fantastic. Just brilliant. What’s that guy’s problem?’
‘He’s very single-minded. Uncompromising. It’s all about results with Hardy: getting the spirits from A to B, like a cowboy driving a herd. It’s ironic, as he was reluctant to pass over himself when he died, apparently.’
‘Really? How come?’
‘I don’t know the specifics. I wasn’t directly involved and it was some time ago. But I have heard he took some convincing to leave his family.’
‘So it’s a poacher turned gamekeeper situation.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Any good news?’
‘Um, no. Sorry. Not yet. I am working on something, though.’
‘Such as?’
‘It’s just a proposal at the moment. I don’t want to say too much in case it doesn’t come together. But put it this way: if it does, I think it might help with your decision.’
Lizzie refused to reveal anything else about this mysterious plan. I was intrigued. However, the rules of the afterlife were clear. As much as I wanted to believe her, I failed to see how any last-ditch intervention could truly ease my dilemma.