VERONICA INSTRUCTED NESSA, SHANE, and our father to take the limo back to the church hall to join the rest of the funeral attendees for a bite to eat.
“But how will we get back?” I asked.
She swept aside my concern with the wave of her hand. “You, my dear, have some unfinished business to attend to.”
“But—”
She grabbed my arm and led me toward the Little Chapel by the Sea. “You’ll thank me later.”
❂❂❂
My hand flew to my mouth. No, it can’t be.
Whereas one sister had given me the gift of monarchs on the day of her funeral, the other had given me...
Morgan!
He smiled, then frowned at what must have been the mixture of pleasure and pain on my face. “Happy to see me?”
I moved forward in what felt like slow motion until I reached the front of the chapel where he stood. Gorgeous Morgan. I’d never seen my cowboy all suited up before.
I stepped into his arms, shivering, clinging. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Me, too.”
The door closed behind us as Veronica took her leave.
“Don’t be mad at me for not calling you,” I said. “I needed to do this on my own, without leaning on you for support. Plus, I was becoming someone you wouldn’t like, judgmental, unforgiving, and I didn’t want you to see me that way.”
“Yet your two sisters still managed to love you.”
I pressed my face into the nook of Morgan’s neck. Darn, he smelled good.
“I’m so sorry about Maya,” he said.
“I wish you could’ve known her.”
“Me, too.”
His response, so tender and softly spoken, had me finally taking Maya’s advice. “Every time you experience a death in your life, allow yourself to cry.”
“Tell me about her,” Morgan said.
“I don’t…know…if…I can,” I said, tears turning into sobs.
“It’ll help for you to talk about the person she was.”
I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his emerald green eyes, edged by a series of small wrinkles that revealed the resonance and vitality that often come with closeness to nature. He was right. Just thinking about Maya sparked the capacity for joy still available to me. “She was amazing, Morgan.” I took a deep breath to keep my voice from shaking. “The most giving and unselfish person I ever met. She…she provided support for the newly sober, made them feel heard, accepted, and…and loved. Today’s crowd was proof of how many lives she touched with her unselfish service. What will I do without her? It’s hard to hold on to the belief that all is as it’s supposed to be.”
I heard a smile in Morgan’s voice. “Sure, you can. It’s called faith.”
During a moment of stillness, I allowed myself to feel a spark of hope at the prospect of digging out of what currently felt like a deep, dark hole.
“Seems to me, your path is clear,” Morgan said.
Clear?
“Why not carry on where Maya left off?”
“You mean with the addicted?”
“With youngsters, instead of adults. They also need to feel heard, accepted, and loved. Speaking of which… Dr. Mendez asked me to relay a message.”
“Dr. Mendez?”
“We spoke yesterday when I took Joshua in for his monthly appointment.”
“Oh my gosh. Joshua. How’s he doing?”
“The doctor is cutting Joshua’s office visits down to bimonthly. Apparently, farm life agrees with him.
“That’s fantastic. I miss the little guy.” More than you know.
“He misses you, too.”
“So,” I said, fighting a new onslaught of tears, “what’s Dr. Mendez’s message?”
“A friend of his is the principal at West Coast Middle School in Menlo Park.”
“I know of the place. Actually, I went to school there.”
“They’re looking for a part time teacher, and Dr. Mendez believes the job might interest you.”
“I abandoned the dream of becoming a teacher years ago.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Guess life got in the way.”
“Okay, I get that. You abandoned your dream to survive. But, seems to me, you’re past that now.”
I’d come to Pacific Grove to meet with our father and discover his secret. To what end? Only to discover that Veronica and I had another sister and then watch her die? There had to be more to it than that. Maya had taught me about love and service, and she’d given me back my mouse totem, a sign that it hadn’t yet finished its journey.
Morgan straightened and looked at me. “You’ve already earned your teaching credential, and the way you reached Joshua when no one else could means you have a special connection with kids. So why not try substituting for a while, see if it agrees with you?”
“Taking on a teaching job would delay our wedding for months,” I said, feeling sadness, and excitement, swirl inside like the monarchs sweeping over Maya’s grave.
Morgan’s dimpled smile made me weak in the knees. “I thought we agreed months ago that I couldn’t have all of you.”
“But…”
“Consider us married in every way that counts.” He kissed me with a passion that promised unending bliss-filled days ahead. “Anyway, we’ll still have weekends.”
I was where I most wanted to be, within the protective circle Morgan’s arms. If I could isolate myself in his world, never have to make another personal choice or decision or take another chance, maybe my life would be safe, stable, and secure.
But if there was a through line in what I’d learned since setting out on my journey nine months ago, it was that I couldn’t build my foundation on someone else’s back. And that security comes with a price. Maya had opened my heart and showed me that it didn’t require special training to make a difference in the world. I had five days a week to put to use all Maya had taught me about love and service.
Weekends would be dedicated to Morgan and Joshua.