Kade had kissed her. And she’d liked it. But what did it mean? Surely it meant he was growing fond of her. Did she welcome that?
She grinned. It would be nice so long as he wasn’t set on making her reform.
He had drawn her down to the ground and kept his arm around her. She clung to him. Remembering Timmy had broken down a barrier she’d created in her mind. “I was always afraid to remember him,” she murmured. “I think I feared the pain.”
“I can understand that. How do you feel now?”
She considered the question. “It hurts. I suppose I will always miss him. Perhaps that’s why I clung so doggedly to Josh. I didn’t tell you, but I cried buckets when he left.” She gave a chuckle. “I made sure to do it in private.” She shifted so she could look into his face. “That’s why I’ve always felt the need to run, isn’t it?”
He smiled, his eyes dark and full of kindness.
She rested against his chest and studied the waterfall. “What’s the name of this place?”
“I haven’t told you. How neglectful of me.”
She heard the teasing in his voice and playfully jabbed him in the ribs. “Yes, it is.”
“Ow.” He captured her hand and she made no effort to free it. “It’s called the Cascades.”
“A pretty name for a pretty waterfall.”
A cascade of memories flooded her mind. “I remember Timmy chasing me and tossing me in the air when he caught me. He read to us before he tucked us into bed. I suppose that was only after Mama fell ill.”
“I’m glad your memories have returned.”
“Me too. I can understand why I shut them away when I was young, but I should have allowed them back long before this.”
“It sounds to me like they were locked up and you needed something to unlock the door.”
“Guess that was you.” She felt him stiffen as if surprised by her observation. “How does it make you feel to know you did this for me?”
“I’m happy for you.”
She heard a reservation in his answer and sat up to look into his face. “You don’t sound convinced.” His eyes were dark and searching.
“I just realized I have locked doors inside me as well.”
She waited for him to continue, sensing that he needed time to find the words. Perhaps even to discover what to do with those locked doors. She knew when he’d reached that point as his eyes softened and smile lines creased out from their edges.
“I have been so afraid of being disappointed by people’s actions and hurt by more death that I closed myself off to caring about anyone again.”
“And that’s changed?”
He grinned. “I believe it has.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” She brushed her finger across his lips. Her heart broke into a gallop at the way he smiled.
He caught her hand and pulled her closer, looking deep into her eyes. “I think we are good for each other.”
She waited, unsure of what he meant.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have been so quick to say we wouldn’t marry.”
Stunned, she sat back and stared at him. “Have you changed your mind about marriage?”
“I’ve always wanted a family of my own.”
He’d said that before.
“There’s really only one reason to marry, and that’s because you can’t imagine life without the other person.”
They considered each other as the waterfall rumbled on without pause.
She waited a moment, but when he didn’t say anything one way or the other, she sat back against the rock, a cold inch between them, and turned her gaze to the cascading water, trying to regain the sense of peace she’d had a short time ago.
“Peace and freedom. Is it possible?” she asked.
“Love is a risky business.”
“Maybe.” She understood that love could lead to loss and pain. Why was she even thinking about love? It wasn’t that she wanted him to love her.
“I don’t think it can be rushed.” He jumped to his feet and pulled her up to follow him as he drew closer to the water. “But maybe it can be encouraged,” he murmured in her ear. Not giving her a chance to reply, he turned her toward the mist. “Let’s just enjoy the waterfall.” He stood behind her, his arms around her shoulders, leaning back so she automatically leaned into him.
She closed her eyes and let the comfort of his arms, the solidness of his body, and the murmur of the water drive away everything but this moment.
All else faded and they were as one, wrapped in the beauty of their surroundings.
Which might, she readily admitted, include being held in his arms.
She couldn’t say how long they remained thus. Time stopped until he slowly lowered his arms, catching her hand. She shivered at the loss of his body warmth.
“It’s cooling off.”
At his words, she realized he had protected her from the falling temperatures. She glanced upward. A few clouds. Surely nothing to be concerned about.
He saw her study of the sky. “The sun is dipping into the west. It cools off quickly up here.”
Flora looked about. Dark shadows clung to the boulders and climbed up the surrounding hills.
“We need to go.” Still holding her hand, Kade led her back to the horses. He didn’t immediately release her.
She looked into his face and, at the gentle smile upon his lips, she leaned forward. She couldn’t say if she invited a kiss, or wanted the comfort of his arms or if she only wanted to prolong their stay here. “It’s been a special outing,” she murmured.
“It sure has.” He caught her shoulders and pulled her close, tipped her chin up to study her, his gaze searching her eyes, down her cheeks, and stopping at her mouth.
“Very special,” he whispered before he kissed her.
She clung to him, breathing in the dampness still clinging to him, her heart unfolding like the petals on a spring flower newly emerged from the ground.
He chuckled as if reading her thoughts. “Like I said, we need to go.”
They took the reins of their horses and made their way down the rocky slope until they reached less treacherous ground, then mounted and rode down the draw.
Down the hill, the air was still warm with the sun. There seemed no need to hurry home so they took their time. Their conversation consisted of talking about the countryside, the growth of the town, and Kade’s hopes for a growing herd.
They passed the church and rode to the stable. Kade dismounted and waited as she tended her horse. Done, she spoke to him. “Would you like to join us for supper?”
He glanced at the sky. “I think I’ll ride home before dark.”
She hoped she hid her disappointment. But perhaps she hadn’t succeeded, for he caught her chin and waited for her to meet his gaze.
“I think that was one of my best days ever.”
“Me too.”
He rode away, pausing before he passed the church to wave goodbye.
She returned the gesture and stood watching until he rode from sight, then realized she smiled so broadly that if anyone saw her, they would wonder what made her so happy.
And what could she say? If this wasn’t love, it was close enough to satisfy her.
Kade hadn’t said he would return for church on Sunday but Flora hoped he would. She wore her blue dress and worked hard to get her hair into a neat roll.
“Do you want help?” Eve asked after Flora failed three times to put in enough pins to keep it in place.
“Yes, please.” Flora sat on a stool with her back to Eve and let her sister tackle the wayward curls. The others girls had already gone down. Victoria was playing the piano at church this morning and was likely already over there.
“You seem very pleased with yourself today,” Eve said.
Flora realized she was smiling. “I am. You know how I could never remember Timmy? Well, yesterday I did.” She told Eve all the things she recalled.
Eve knelt at Flora’s knees. “It always surprised me that you insisted you didn’t remember him. All this time you did, but the memories were locked up. What happened to free them?”
Flora wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell her sister but it seemed safe to say it had been because of a silly tease about sharing a fork. “I remember Timmy playing a similar game with me.” As she talked, she realized it was more than the game. It was Kade himself. His frankness with her. His steadiness. How safe he made her feel.
Would he have arrived at church yet? Her legs twitched with the need to rush over and see. She patted her hair. “Are you done?”
“Just about.” Eve put in more pins. “There you go.”
Flora bolted to her feet.
“Wait for me,” Eve said, checking her own reflection in the mirror.
Flora forced herself to keep a sedate pace as they walked down the stairs, out the front door. She glanced at the horses tied to the rail. When she saw the black horse with the white blaze across its forehead, her pace quickened so much that Eve protested and she slowed.
They stepped inside. Kade waited at the doorway. “May I escort you two fine ladies to your pew?” It was Flora he looked at and Flora’s hand he pressed hard to his side as she took his arm.
Eve chuckled.
Flora was grateful the light inside the church was muted as her cheeks burned. Not with embarrassment as others might think, but with pleasure at knowing he had waited for her.
They went three abreast down the aisle although it meant her skirts caught on the pews as they passed. They slid in beside Josie and sat down.
Flora forced her gaze to Pa and did her best to listen to the sermon knowing he often asked the girls questions about it. But the words went in and out of her brain so fast she couldn’t recall a single thing.
The service ended. Ma invited several cowboys to join them for dinner.
Flora helped serve the meal and listened as the new cowboys introduced themselves, but she knew if she later met them on the street, she would not remember them or their names.
The meal ended, the dishes were washed, and they all made their way to the parlor. Flora had hoped Kade would suggest they go for a walk but he seemed set on listening to the music.
Flora told herself she wasn’t disappointed. Why should she be?
When the others rose and said goodbye, he got to his feet as well.
She was about to think she had imagined the events of the previous day.
“Walk me to my horse?” he said.
Finally, he was showing her a bit of attention. “Of course.” They crossed the yard to the rail. The others left one after the other until only Flora and Kade stood there.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked.
“It’s Monday so we’ll be doing laundry.”
“Oh.” Did he sound disappointed?
“You’re welcome to come help.”
He laughed. “I have to take care of a few things and check on the cows but maybe I’ll ride in later in the day.”
“Okay.”
“That is, if I’m welcome.”
She drew back. “Why wouldn’t you be welcome?”
He twisted his hat in his hands. “Well, I got to thinking I might have offended you by kissing you.”
“So that’s why you’ve been acting so distant.”
The hat was taking a real beating.
She leaned close, grabbed his shirt lapels, and pulled him toward her. She planted a quick kiss on his mouth. “Does that seem like I’m offended?”
“Nope.” He grinned widely. “Sure don’t.” He swung into his saddle and raced from the yard. Before he was out of sight she heard a whoop. She forced herself to stop grinning as she returned to the house.