“Don’t let her wear that cat costume to the mall when you go, put her in real clothes this time!”
I could almost feel Leah sternly arch her eyebrow for emphasis as she spoke to me on the phone. She was at work, but today was my day off and I had planned on taking my little princess Emilee to the mall.
“Uh, I’ll see what I can do honey, but you know she loves that thing!”
I finished loading the stroller, baby carrier and baby bag into the car and glanced into the back seat where my daughter sat strapped in her car seat. She laughed happily and played with the tail attached to the dirty, frayed cat costume that was quickly becoming a second skin on her. I really need to get rid of that thing, it’s getting pretty nasty. It comes out of the washer looking worse than it did when it went in! I thought to myself as I climbed into the car and started the engine.
Leah’s voice sounded from the other end of the phone. “Mmmm-hmmmmm. Well I hope you two have fun at the mall, and I pray that none of the other moms at the playground there will call CPS on you for being a negligent father who let his daughter wear that disgusting ratty thing every day!” I laughed and we exchanged ‘I love you’s’ before hanging up.
The mall was only a few miles away and it took me longer to find a parking spot than it did for me to drive to the mall itself. Visitors from Sonora, Mexico were out in force today, and no wonder, I saw a sign in the parking lot announcing that today the mall was hosting a Hispanic Cultural Showcase, featuring traditional Mariachi bands, dancers and food. Great, there was nothing I loved more than trying to navigate through hordes of people while pushing a baby stroller. While I unloaded the baby gear from the car I daydreamed about mounting the M240 to the stroller and mowing down anybody who walked in front of me. After the harness for the baby carrier was strapped over my shoulders, I scanned the parking lot. Somewhere out there a couple of agents from Project 109 were sitting in their car, ready to shadow me and protect my baby should the need arise. I put Emilee in the stroller and locked the car as I walked toward the mall. It was nice to know that someone would trample over my mangled, dying body to save my daughter without even glancing down at me, but that’s the way it had to be.
The festive sights, sounds and smells of Mexico wafted out of the mall doors as we entered. Tables and kiosks lined the central area of the mall selling jewelry, food and clothing. No less than two strolling mariachi bands walked by as Emilee and I dodged the slow-moving foot traffic and gawkers all around us. I almost punched a Mariachi player when one of the bands walked by and a trumpet player swung his instrument directly into my face and blasted a long loud note that deafened me in one ear.
“Hey buttfungus--I have a baby right here! Do it again and I’ll jam that thing down your throat!” I yelled as they slowly passed by. It’s doubtful he even heard me, they were playing so loud.
Annoyed, I pushed the stroller through the milling throngs and finally reached the kiddie play area. Quite a few ankles and feet had felt the bone-crunching contact of my stroller as I Mad Max’d through the crowd with a vengeance. I took Emilee out of the stroller and let her run free in the play area, mindful of any nasty boys or girls who might try to bully my little angel. She played happily on the colorful tiny playground equipment as I sat with a few other parents on a bench that was off to one side.
Suddenly the blast of an air horn shattered the peaceful silence surrounding me. Now I was practically deaf in the other ear, and I turned to look at the culprit, seething with fury. Sheepishly, the dad next to me put down the air horn that hung suspended in his hand not an inch away from my head, a look of complete mortification on his face.
“I am so sorry!” he said, or at least that’s what his mouth looked like it was saying since I couldn’t hear. “My little Jacob ignores me every time I call his name, I don’t know if the kid is legitimately deaf or just ignoring me, but I told him when he hears this sound he better come a runnin’ or he’ll get a timeout. I’m really sorry man!” The look on my face must have spoken volumes as he inched backward away from me on the bench.
Exhaling slowly, I said, “It’s cool bro, crowds agitate me and put me on edge. We’re good.”
The man visibly relaxed after I had spoken but as soon as his son ran over I noticed that they hurried away. Emilee toddled over a couple minutes later and I scooped her up and put her back in the stroller.
“Let’s go see what else we can find here punkin!” I called down to her.
She smiled up at me and waved, her chubby little hand clenching and unclenching. The crowds had thinned out as we moved farther away from the Hispanic Cultural Festival, and we approached a circle of Fiats parked in an open area of the mall. After seeing them for the first time in a commercial I had decided I didn’t like them, but after looking at the actual cars I gotta say they weren’t too bad. A few other men and women sat in the vehicles, checking out the spec sheets on the windows. One of the Fiats had its hood open, and as we neared it I could see an elderly woman had her arm shoved down in the engine compartment with a look of intense concentration on her face.
“Are you okay ma’am?” I asked.
She replied, “Oh heavens yes, but when I was looking at the engine on this car the chain on my necklace broke and fell down inside next to the radiator. Do you think your arm is long enough to reach it for me? My daughter gave me the necklace for Mother’s Day so it has a lot of sentimental value.”
I peered down into the engine compartment and sure enough I could see the necklace near the bottom of the radiator.
“I’d be happy to give it a shot!” I told her smiling.
With Emilee secured in the stroller by my left side, I leaned over the engine and reached down to grab the necklace. My arm was just a bit too short so I stretched in even further, and when my hand made contact with the chain and I triumphantly yelled, “Got it!” over my shoulder, some joker in the car decided it would be funny to lean on the horn. My body jerked upright, smacking the back of my head painfully into the raised hood. Rubbing the knot on my scalp, I ran two steps to the driver’s side door and threw it open.
“What on Earth would possess you do something like that?!” I yelled angrily.
I didn’t care if there was a small child or a nun in the car, I was fuming mad. Confused, I searched the front and back seats, but there was no one inside the Fiat. My guess was that they bolted after hitting the horn, they were smart enough to know that whoever they did that to was gonna be torqued. I walked back over to the old lady and held up the necklace.
“Well, I managed to get this back for you at least!” I told her as I handed over the piece of jewelry.
She smiled and opened her mouth to thank me, and that was when the tattoos on my arm ignited with glowing witchfire. The old lady’s eyes rolled up back into her head and she spoke in a deep bass voice possessing an otherworldly tone that I had heard once before, almost six years ago.
“I HERALD THE ARRIVAL OF THE TRINITY OF TERROR. KNOW THIS, MORTAL--WHEN YOU LOOK ONCE AGAIN UPON THE DAY THAT YOU RETURNED THE NAMELESS ONE TO HIS THRONE, THEN WILL YOU LOOK UPON THE FACE OF YOUR DOOM. THREE TIMES THE HORN WILL SOUND, AND THREE WILL HEED THE CALL, TO REND THE SOUL FROM THY FLESH AND DRAG IT BOUND IN FIERY CHAINS TO THE FEET OF THE MASTER, WHERE YOU WILL SUFFER FOR ALL ETERNITY. TODAY IS THE DAY OF RECKONING!”
Sons of Thunder! Mariachi boy, the air horn, and car horn--they were the three horns heralding the arrival of the demon princes! The air around me crackled with a strange yet familiar energy as the mall warped into the dimensional pocket that Hell seemed to use on a regular basis. Grabbing Emilee from the stroller I stuffed her in the baby carrier strapped to my back and wildly glanced around the mall. Where were the Project 109 agents that were supposed to be protecting my baby?
The old lady stood and pointed at me accusingly, her sightless eyes unable to see me but at the same time it felt as if they bored a hole right through me. Pretty freakin’ creepy, I was just glad Em was facing the other way on my back unable to see the gnarly hag. Trying to look casual, I cast another glance around the area, but still couldn’t see any agents rushing to my defence. Now I was worried. Not only was Emilee going to be in harm’s way, but I didn’t even have the M240b, I had left it at home on the foolish assumption that I would be safe in a public place bustling with people and with agents of the Vatican nearby to guarantee the safety of my daughter. What had I been thinking? Not only is it hard to find good help nowadays, but really, you just can’t trust anyone to do their job properly.
Knees bent in a defensive stance, I awaited the arrival of The Three. El Cartero would die defending the life of his daughter against the Lords of Hades, or he would die when he got home and had to explain to his wife why he and his baby girl were involved with whatever the media said went down at the mall when it was all over. Momma wasn’t gonna like it if she thought I put our daughter in danger.
The power went out abruptly, shrouding the building in a cloak of darkness, save for the circle of light cast by my tattoos and the sickly green glow that engulfed the herald of the Abyss. A war cry escaped my lips, the anger and rage of a man who had everything to lose. I ran toward the herald and threw myself through the air in a flying sidekick.
“Hang on angel, it’s time for daddy to go to work!” I called back to Emilee as we crossed the distance with the speed and accuracy of an airborne missile and my foot connected with the old lady’s face, compressing it like a sponge. With a sickening SNAP! her head twisted sideways and she flew backward, sprawling inside the engine compartment of the Fiat.
Repeatedly, I slammed the hood of the car down on her torso, telling her, “If the kick didn’t loosen your dentures, this will!”
The old lady moaned from under the hood and I could feel her moving around slightly under the dented metal. Because she was possessed by the herald through no fault of her own, I was happy that I hadn’t killed her, the woman was merely a pawn in evil’s twisted machinations. With its mission to announce the Trinity of Terror executed, I hoped that the demonic presence would leave her body immediately. Assuming I lived through this, I would call an ambulance for this poor woman.
I was coming around to the notion that if there was any chance that the demon would exit a possessed person I had to fight, then I’d be able to justify letting them live. Looking back, it seemed like I was leaving a lot of bodies in my wake, and I wondered if any of them had been necessary. How many of those dead by my hand could have been spared?
A loud boom sounded somewhere behind me and I whirled with a speed not known to most men. I was a panther, ready to strike. My speculations on mercy would have to wait until another time, right now my daughter’s safety was my priority. Coils of fire spiraled upward where a cell phone kiosk used to sit; the kiosk was completely obliterated along with everything in a twenty-five-foot radius. Rooted by the conflagration, I gazed upon the spectacle as it ascended in a fiery orange coil, mesmerized by the hypnotic flames. The column resembled a burning tornado which made for a pretty neat effect overall, but it seemed like someone was trying just a little too hard on the showmanship. Over my shoulder I saw Emilee’s little round head bobbing merrily to some unseen music only she could hear, gurgling happily despite the Abyssal theatrics that would cause most people to soil themselves in fear.
“Hang on kiddo, daddy’s gonna get us both out of here in one piece safe and sound,” I told her softly as I ruffled the tuft of hair on top of her head.
Truth be told, I had no plan, I was drawing a complete blank. With a baby strapped to my back and my gun back at the house, this whole situation sucked bigtime. Since the whole mall had dimensionally warped I didn’t have the option of running as far away as possible with Emilee, we were confined to the mall. This one didn’t have any stores that sold firearms, although there was one called Masters of Metal that had medieval weapons, armor and knives on the second level. The weapons and armor were mostly decorative pieces for display, but they’d be better than nothing, and I sorta remembered a Competitive Edge sporting goods store on the second level as well that might have an item or two I could use. Mall layouts generally confused me, but I recalled a Game On! being next to the Competitive Edge, I always used the cool stores as compass points when shopping here.
My attention returned to the burning spiral. Three small figures stood amidst the flames fire which burned so brightly that it was hard to make out any details, but from what I could see there were no details. The figures were each about the size of an eight-year-old child, entirely made of a substance that resembled grey melting wax. Their faces were devoid of any visible features except for two hollow pits on the face where eyes would normally be and a jagged gash where the mouth would sit.
The column of flame died abruptly, only a burnt circle remained on the ground on which the Trinity stood. Behind me the old lady groaned occasionally, which eased my guilt; it sounded like she might survive the thrashing I gave her, assuming the demons didn’t finish her off.
Speaking of the demons, all three had turned to face me, and as I watched, their melty waxen features flowed into those of three normal eight-year-old children. Two were boys and one was a girl, all dressed age-appropriate and sporting the latest trendy hairstyles, clothing and backpacks. The trio looked at each other before the girl finally spoke.
“This goob is the one they call El Cartero? Please tell me there’s been some mistake. There is no way dorkus here took out six of our brethren.” She looked over at me with a sneer on her bratty little face.
One of the boys, who rocked a spiky blonde doo glanced at me and then back at the girl. “Yea, this is the one. Check out the ink on his arms and the glow bleeding through his shirt. Sioux-marked, they said. It won’t be enough to save him though.”
The third demon, a dark haired boy, put his hands on his hips and called over to me. “Gonna kill you now fella, then the baby and the rest of your loved ones. Nuthin’ you can do to save yourself, might as well just accept it and kneel before us!”
My mind raced into overdrive. Feverishly I calculated my odds of outrunning them and making it to Masters of Metal to grab a weapon, when sharp talons gripped the back of my head and pierced my scalp in a half dozen places. The baby carrier was violently torn off my back, and Emilee started to cry. An evil cackle filled the air and with superhuman effort I twisted around, lacerating my scalp further in the process. The old woman/herald stood before me triumphantly hoisting Emilee in the air with her gnarled, withered claw. Emilee bawled loudly and looked scared, but was otherwise unharmed.
The talons on my head suddenly shoved me backward where I sprawled on the ground in a tangled heap. My mind was numb with shock. I had assumed the herald had left the old woman’s body when I heard her groan under the car hood, but I was wrong. Too many years had passed without demonic incident, leaving me complacent with rusty senses, and now I would pay for it with not only my life but my family’s as well. My catastrophic personal failure drained me of the ability to think clearly or act.
On hands and knees, I crawled toward the herald, where I raised myself to my knees and put my hands together in supplication.
“Please, not my baby or my wife, I’m begging you, take me but leave them alone. It’s me you want--they don’t deserve to die because of my actions! I’m begging you on my hands and my knees, please!”
The Trinity sniggered and mimicked my pleas for mercy in their whiny little voices as the herald gazed down indifferently at my pathetic form. Her gaze shifted over my body to the three children and her face adopted a quizzical look as she asked them, “What is your will, Masters? Shall I destroy this wretch’s infant while he watches helplessly?”
After briefly conversing amongst themselves the Trinity addressed the herald. “Not yet,” said the little girl. “It pleases us greatly to see this so-called legend grovel at our feet like a whipped dog. How much more might he debase himself to spare his beloved child, I wonder?”
She motioned toward the herald, a quick gesture with her hand, and my eyes widened in terror as I guessed what was coming. The herald tossed Emilee to the little girl as if she were throwing a bundle of laundry. I lunged upward in an attempt to intercept my baby’s tiny form, but my efforts were rewarded with a swift kick to the face by the old lady.
“Oh, and by the way, my dentures are fine, thank you, but let’s see how your choppers weather my foot!”
The herald’s red size 7 Croc connected with the front of my face and snapped my head back. Blood streamed from my nose, now possibly broken for like the third or fourth time. I had quit counting early on. Once more I landed on my back in an awkward pose, and the herald followed through by kicking me in the side as hard as she could a few times before spitting on me. I curled up in fetal position to minimize the amount of target area my body presented to the still-furiously kicking geriatric hag, and out of the corner of my eye saw my world about to crash down around me even harder.
The little girl moved over to the railing surrounding the third story of the mall and dangled Emilee over the edge by her baby carrier. The two boys with her also moved to the rail and looked down.
“It is said that you move inhumanly fast for a mortal. I wonder if that’s true. Having witnessed you in person finally, I have to say that so far it seems like everything they say about you appears to have been grossly over-exaggerated. So again the question, El Cartero- are you as fast as the rumors would allow us to believe? Let’s find out.”
As the last word left her mouth, she let go of Emilee.
“Noooooo!” I scrambled to my feet and cleared the distance to the railing in two bounding steps. My body had started moving a fraction of a second before the little girl’s fingers had even started to open. I threw myself headfirst over the edge in a dive, and the flaming tattoos on my arms made it appear as if I were a fiery comet plummeting to earth. Emilee’s small form was just a couple of feet ahead of me as we both plunged downward. I stretched my right arm out as far as I could and grabbed both of her ankles, then shot my left arm out perpendicular to my body and seized a wide banner that was hanging angled from the ceiling to the floor. Jackie Chan did this sort of thing all the time in his movies, so it must work, right? Yeah but you’re not Jackie Chan and this isn’t a movie silently ran through my head, so I offered up a silent prayer that the banner would support our weight as together my baby girl and I gracefully swung through the air with a level of style and panache that would have made Spider Man jealous.
Thankfully, the banner held, and I had grabbed it at a high enough point that we didn’t smack into the floor, which would have been super embarrassing and painful.
“Daddy’s got you angel!” I whispered to Emilee as she whimpered in fear. When our swing brought us close to the ground I pulled Em up to my body protectively and let go of the banner. We dropped the remaining 10 feet to the floor where I remained crouched until my body stopped shaking.
The threat of Hell’s minions still loomed nearby, so I composed myself and buckled the baby carrier on my back. Sweet! I could see Masters of Metal about six stores down, Competitive Edge sporting goods was to my left and to my right was the Game On! If I acted quickly I just might have a very, very slim chance to turn this situation around.
Emilee recovered nicely, she playfully grabbed my hair as I jogged toward Masters of Metal, and it dawned on me that things could be worse. Besides the old lady, the Trinity hadn’t included any mall shoppers when they warped the building, so all I had to focus on was getting me and my baby outta here. Finally, I reached Masters of Metal and ducked inside.
“So, it’s true, you are as fast as they say!”
My blood froze when my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting inside the shop and I saw the three small children sitting side by side on the counter.
“Too bad we’re faster though!” The dark haired boy spoke in a snide, nasally voice.
“I sure hope when your balls drop your voice isn’t half as annoying as it is right now!” I yelled over my shoulder as I pivoted and ran back the way I came toward the sporting goods store. Okay, maybe I threw them the bird over my shoulder too. Not the finest example of parenting doing that sort of thing in front of my impressionable young daughter, but hey, she just got chucked over a railing on my watch, so I don’t think I’m gonna score high on the father-of-the-year charts.
And, darnit all if that little brat wasn’t telling the truth, because leaning against the window of the Competitive Edge were the Trinity brats, all of whom looked casual and relaxed while I sweated and panted like an angry bull.
“There is no way you can defeat us. Accept it,” the blonde boy said.
Crap on a cracker, I was in a pickle. My eyes darted everywhere while I tried to appear as if I were seriously considering their offer. And there it was, the answer to my prayers. A really bad answer, and on a quiz or test it would be the wrong answer, but I had nothing else.
“Hey, you chowderheads do any online gaming?” I threw out to the three demonspawn. They looked at each other and I could see sneers creep across their features. The little girl’s haughty voice answered, “Our clan name is T.O.T., Trinity of Terror, and we don’t just do online gaming, we define it, our skills are so leet.”
I choked back fake laughter. “T.O.T? Yeah, I’ve heard about you losers, even went up against you a few times in Battle Masters 4. You guys really suck!” I tried to sound as condescending as possible.
Anger clouded all of their childlike features and in unison the three kids drew themselves to their feet.
“And who do you run with?” the little girl demanded.
“Me? I’m with an elite group of gamers known online as TripleSquishyMadness. Our presence isn’t widely known because we’re so good that we destroy our opponents before they even know who or what hit them. We’re like freaking cyber-ninjas!” I boldly stated.
Now it was my turn to sneer. Everything I had told her was true, everything but the part about how good we were. To be honest, we were three noobs who possessed average to subpar skills in Battle Masters 4, but I needed to bait them. I pointed behind the Trinity to a poster in the window of Game On! It advertised a BM4 competition open to the public three days from today.
“I may or may not be able to beat you right here right now, but I sure as hell know I could whup the crap outta you bratty little bastards in that competition. You kids just don’t have the level of skill or experience to take me and my boys down. Heck, I’d even wager our souls on the outcome! If I win, we walk away and you never bother us again, if you win me and my family volunteer to suffer eternal damnation,” I told them. “unless you’re scared that you’re not good enough. I mean, how could you be? You’re just demons. Everybody knows that human reflexes are twice as good as demon reflexes in video games. It’s like science and stuff. You could probably Google it.”
The Trinity bridled at my comments and whispered animatedly among themselves for a few minutes.
“We’ll be here three days from now. If you’re not, we will hunt down you and your family and slaughter you like sheep. Get all of your affairs in order mailman, two days from now you die!”
After the girl had said her piece the three demons disappeared into thin air and electricity crackled in the air as the mall warped back to its normal dimension. Throngs of people streamed past Emilee and I, it was interesting to note that none of them noticed the two of us blinking into existence among them.
Two paramedics walked by with a gurney, on which the possessed old lady lay, which comforted me greatly, and nearby witnesses reported that she had been seen looking in the engine compartment of a Fiat before she slipped and fell, banging her head on the floor. Her face was bruised and swollen from our previous tussle but the paramedics assured her she was going to be just fine. I wish I could say the same for myself, but in three days I had to win an online gaming competition against the Trinity of Terror. How on Earth was I going to pull off a win? James, Max and I were okay players, but the stakes were high and I couldn’t afford to lose! The only reason I challenged them was to buy myself time, but I seriously doubted we were good enough to beat them.
Entering the Game On!, I signed TripleSquishyMadness up for the competition and wasn’t surprised to see that the Trinity had signed up right before me. I left the mall in a hurry, and on the drive home tried to imagine how I was going to explain this all to Max and James, whom I needed to enter the tournament with me. And how I would explain to my wife if I lost a video game contest our next vacation would be in Hell? It was not a good time to be El Cartero, but it was gonna be an even worse time to be a member of Project 109, who hadn’t even showed up when the crap hit the fan.
Pulling my car into the garage I cut the engine and angrily I dialed Higgins. The phone picked up on the other end, but before he could even get a word out, I lit into Higgins for not providing my baby with security at the mall. A torrential wave of four letter expletives and the foulest vulgarities I had learned in my misspent youth funneled into my phone with enough power to trigger a psychic shockwave that not only blasted Higgins but most likely neutered the Pope and everyone else in the Vatican as well.
And of course, it was at that moment that I saw Leah standing right next to my car with her hands on her hips, looking extremely angry as she pointed to the back seat where Emilee was quietly sitting.
“So, you look really pretty today, honey. Um, how long have you been standing there?” I asked, mentally kicking myself while my wife’s withering gaze emasculated me. That was seriously some pretty weak sauce, bro!
Without a word Leah took our baby from the back seat and went inside. There was a chuckle from the other end of the phone.
“Demons are the least of your problems right now buddy!” Higgins said before he hung up.
“This isn’t over jerkwad!” I screamed into the phone even though the connection was broken. But he was right. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the house.