“YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT South America,” Daire said into the night.
Lying in their bed, her head was on his shoulder, his arm curved so he could play with her hair.
Her lips rose. “How did you know that?”
“Because I’m thinking about it,” he said. “I’m happy we didn’t go when we talked about it.”
She moistened her lips and adjusted the angle of her head to bring her face nearer his neck. “You are?”
“I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I didn’t want to lie to you. We could’ve gone and I would’ve been him just to be with you, but… Every day I’d have worried you’d find out the truth. That what we had could be taken away. I prefer this. Everything out in the open.”
Almost everything.
“What do you think is happening right now?” she asked, drawing her fingertips up and down his body. “Back at the house. What do you think happened after we left?”
“I think Harry got back with the guys expecting something had gone down.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I told him I saw something. He asked if I needed back-up, I said no. He tried to insist, but I knew I’d be able to handle the amateur.”
“You were so quick. How did you have a whole conversation?”
A sheepish smile colored his tone. “We didn’t talk. We have… code faces.” She smiled, her eyes closing. “Your buddy had already driven up and down our street a dozen times earlier. When he came back, I knew he was planning something while the place was empty… And that the guy was an idiot. Didn’t miss that you were in the front seat either.”
She shifted again. “You saw me?”
“As we were leaving, yeah.”
“I wanted to hit the horn, to get your attention, but the fucker was stronger than me.” His fingers curled around the back of her neck. “Thank you for coming back… For being there when I needed you.”
“I wasn’t there when Three put you on a plane. Do we need to have a conversation about you getting onto planes without me?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. She planted her hands on his chest to crawl on top of him, tucking her head under his chin. “I won’t ever do that again. In my defense, I didn’t want to go with him. But he promised me Harry knew, and I thought if Harry knew, you did too. Then a former president showed up and… I don’t know.”
“Yeah, I probably should’ve told you that.”
“Probably?” she asked, sliding her hand up to his jaw. “Yeah. That might have been good to know.”
He turned his head to kiss her hand. “You thought he was trying to impress you with his special friends?”
“We said play along. That’s what I did. I played along. I didn’t know we’d leave the country. It didn’t occur to me for a second that we would cross an ocean.”
“It’s okay,” he said, his fingers tangling in her hair. “It was my fault. I’ll do better next time.”
“Your fault,” she said, frowning at nothing for a second before flattening her hands on him to push up and meet his eye. “How was it your fault?”
“I wasn’t there. You said it and you were right; I can protect you better if you’re in my eyeline.”
Breathing out, she rested a hand on his cheek. “I was kidding, baby. Playing on what you said to me in the cab before we… You can’t be looking at me every second.”
“I can educate you, and myself, we’ll talk and come up with procedures. Everything we do will be designed to keep you safe.”
Shaking her head, she sat up on him. “Don’t put me ahead of you. I already told you that Olympus isn’t my home. I know you’re eager to get back there, but it’s not me. You can’t train me. I’d make a lousy soldier and you know it. I talk too much, I’m messy, and completely undisciplined. I hate taking orders or being dismissed. Can you imagine a person worse suited to grueling drills and strict hierarchy?”
Had he completely missed the point of who she was and come with her for all the wrong reasons?
Squeezing her hips, he confused her with a smile. “Why do you think I fell in love with you? You’re about as opposite to Olympus as anyone could get.” He tightened his grip. “You’re the wild mare no one can tame. You’re so goddamn stubborn, so driven by your emotions, so beautiful. You feel everything. Baby, you’re freedom. Everything I couldn’t be; everything I wasn’t.”
“And you had everything I didn’t. A purpose. A place to belong. A home. You had a base, a family. Somewhere safe. You had security.”
Daire sat up, locking her in a clinch so tight that her body was trapped against his. “I am your security, Temptress. Your somewhere safe. Your home.”
She combed her fingers through his hair, bringing them around to stroke his jawline too. “Then I have to be your wild. Your stubborn… your freedom.”
Was it only a fantasy? She was too scared to ask. Being with him seduced her, he made her feel better about… everything. But she’d given him to Olympus, to the greater good, and promised not to compromise his integrity. Taking him away from Harry had done exactly that.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, trying to peer into her. “You went from relaxed and happy to tense and confused.”
Her fingers were still sweeping through his hair; her hands stroking his body in their turn. “Harry will be worried about you.”
“Harry doesn’t worry about me,” he said. “He dedicated his life to making sure he never had to… Zeus will have figured out you’re not going back. Harry will have discovered Leonard in the closet and extracted Zeus’s location from him.”
“You think they’ve killed each other, or will they be working together?”
Pondering that, he inhaled through his teeth. “Without Garrick between them, I wouldn’t put my money on the latter.”
“And without you,” she said, gripping his shoulders, admiring their breadth. “You’re his strength, you know. His greatest achievement. I understand why he’s so proud of you… I’m proud of you too.”
“You say that like you’re not proud of yourself.” The half laugh behind his smile faded when she didn’t react. “Babe?”
Sliding her hands down his arms, she pushed at them to free herself and climbed off the bed. The sudden chill of being out of his embrace brought her arms around her body, though she couldn’t be to herself what Daire was.
“In London, I… I met someone. I met a guy.”
The position was new for her. She was used to standing on her own two feet. And used to being the one out of the loop rather than the one withholding.
“You have feelings for him,” Daire said, his low voice a slow acceptance.
The hum of bass roused her hormones, so it took a second to absorb what he’d said.
“What?” she asked, spinning around to face him.
Sitting on the bed just off-center, he supported his upper body on straight arms extended behind him. “You have feelings for this guy.”
“Feelings for…?” She smiled before clambering back onto the bed, her laugh lighting the air. “No!” She crawled up him, taking his face in both hands. “God, no, you crazy…” She kissed him. “Stupid.” Another kiss. “Incredible man.” Pulling his face to hers, she kissed him once more before rising on her knees to touch her forehead to his. “Feelings for him? No. How could I? I don’t have enough. Every cell of my entire being is filled to overflowing with my love for you.” Pressing her hands into his face, she changed the angle to brush her nose across his. “You completely have my full permission to never doubt that you’re the only man in the whole universe ever allowed to touch me. The only man I could or would want to feel for. My Heart…” Relaxing her hold a little, she sank back to peer into him. “You said it would be easier to walk away if I was with another guy… Is that what you wanted me to say? Were you hoping to hear that I’d—”
“You know the answer to that question, Little Red. But I will always try to be uncomplicated for you. The Harry shit, Olympus, that’s my headache. For you, this has to be your safe space. I have to accept you no matter what. My love for you is unconditional.”
She smiled. “Right back attcha.”
Guiding his mouth to hers, their lingering kiss stretched into a sweet savoring of their reaffirmed love. They weren’t uncomplicated. No, that wasn’t fair. When they were together in the dark, there was nothing simpler. Their love and their desire were true to their cores. Outside, Olympus, Harry, Zeus, the reasons they couldn’t have traditional or be together, all of that was complicated.
Daire drew back from their kiss. “Who was he? The guy in London?”
“That’s why I’m confused,” she said, sitting, straddling his lap. “I like our honesty and you said trust is your religion. I want to honor that.” She tilted her head to the other side. “But I’m new to this secret-agent thing. I don’t know all the rules. He told me not to tell anyone about him, so I want to respect his confidence… At the same time, I want you to know everything. I didn’t tell him about the blood thing, and I told you. He doesn’t know about the Scepter, and you do…”
“You want to tell me about him because you want us to have complete trust.” She nodded and was elated to see his smile, even if she didn’t understand it. “Baby, trust doesn’t have to be about confessing every detail. When I go out on missions, I’m aware there are times I don’t know everything. That others in the ranks above know more than I do and those below know less. I trust that I know what I need to. I trust the people sending me into battle and those at my side to give me the information I need to keep my unit safe and complete my mission. Trust is going to war sure that those with you will give as much as you, fight as hard as you.” He pushed her hair back over her shoulders, uncovering her breasts. “You don’t have to tell me everything. I trust your love. I trust your heart. I trust that you would never endanger me. Just as I want you to trust that, if you want to, you can tell me anything and always be sure it will never go any further or be used against you. This unit…” He took hold of her wrists to put her hands on his chest, which he then covered with his own. “Is your shelter. Don’t worry that you’ll lose it. Don’t worry it could be taken away. I will always be your somewhere safe, even if I don’t know everything, understand?”
Her hands ascended until the tips of her fingers met his jaw. “I would die before I’d ever hurt you,” she said, setting her fierce eyes on his, trying to convey determination. “You are what I fight for now. I will do whatever it takes to give you your happiness.”
“That, baby,” he said, sinking his fingers into her hair. “That’s trust.”
A few seconds passed. They existed together. Appreciating each other. Appreciating proximity.
“We weren’t supposed to find this, to find love. Our lives weren’t meant to join,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull herself against him. “But I’m so happy that they did. Thank you for hating me enough to want me dead.”
Wearing a scowl, he tried to take her arms from around him. “Babe…”
She clung on tighter. “If you’d come to me as you, either I wouldn’t have believed a word you said or I’d have been too intimidated to trust you.”
He relaxed and after gazing into her eyes for a while, breathed out a smile. Taking her by surprise, he flipped her onto her back. “You mean you’re not intimidated by me?” he asked, stroking her nose with his before kissing the tip. “And I worked so hard on that.”
“My eyes are your downfall,” she murmured, thinking about what Styx said about Harry and her mom’s eyes. “When you look at me you… I don’t know what it is.”
“You bewitch me,” he said, brushing his lips across hers. “I’d do anything those eyes asked. I can read you, everything you’re feeling, it just flows from your baby blues.”
Lying there beneath him, she lost herself in the moment. With his weight cocooning her, shielding her, there was no way she could ever be safer. Time lost all meaning.
Her father was enchanted by her mother’s eyes. Were they like this? Completely obsessed, over the top captivated and enthralled. Loving Daire gave her a whole new perspective on her parents’ relationship. She’d judged her father for abandoning them, for not fighting harder. But would Daire do anything less for her? For their child, if they ever found themselves in the same situation.
She couldn’t even remember the last time they used protection and wouldn’t go back to that. The implant was meant to save them from unexpected pregnancies, but nothing was guaranteed.
Knowing Olympus, she could understand why her father’s first reaction to the pregnancy was that it shouldn’t go ahead. But she could understand why her mother didn’t tell him, if she’d even had a way to get in touch with him.
“I would never get rid of your baby,” she said, her mouth finishing a thought without explaining where it came from first.
Their ease dissipated as his brow lowered. “We’re pregnant?”
“No,” she said, grabbing for him when he started to retreat. “No, but I’m saying…” She breathed until he focused on her again. “I was thinking about my mom and Harry, can you imagine what they went through? If they felt anything like this, anything like us…” A tear trickled from the corner of her eye. Daire shifted his forearm on the bed to brush it away. “She must have been so scared.”
“That will never be us,” he said, absolutely sure as he clamped his arms tighter to gather her closer, offering more security. “I would never walk away from my family.”
Because his viewpoint came from the other side. He’d been the one left behind at Olympus while Harry went to be with the woman he loved.
“Even to keep me safe?” she said, hoping he’d see Harry’s perspective. It would do so much for his own dignity to know he hadn’t driven Harry away or been inadequate, unable to keep him at Olympus. “To keep our child safe?”
“Baby, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. But Carrie wasn’t safe out there. Neither of you were. Do you know how many times Zeus almost caught up with you? You moved so much because Olympus is that good and Zeus that vindictive. Would you want our child to be raised the way you were?”
Never stopping. Always moving. Lost. Untethered. Roaming.
“Would you want them to be raised like you were?” she asked.
Each of them knew the answer to the other’s question. For a score of seconds, it seemed like he wanted to come up with an answer, he didn’t. Couldn’t. After accepting that, he moved away to lie on his own side.
In silence, they lay there, facing the truth. For a minute there, she’d wanted to believe there was a chance for them. The day had been so good… After Leonard was cold cocked anyway.
But it would never be. Daire belonged to Olympus and that meant he could never belong to anyone else.
Her hand slid to her side on the mattress, accidently brushing against his. Intending to give him his space, she moved it away. Both of them needed to be smarter and stricter. They weren’t doing each other any favors by playing in bliss like it ever had any chance of being real.
The edge of his little finger touched hers. After the whisper of contact, he lingered for a beat before curling his over hers, waiting for hers to respond. Twisting her hand toward his, she curved her finger around his, each responding until they were curled together tight.
The only future she could assure was his. They’d get to Styx, retrieve the keys, and then Daire would have the power to make his Olympus everything that it should be.