A couple of days later we did the first-aid course. I decided that if anyone got sick or injured it had better be me, because I’d faint, run or vomit if I was faced with any of the dinky little scenarios they’d dreamed up for us to practise with. Dad, of course, bounded through the whole thing, grinning all the way. Mum kind of wafted, looking as if her mind was somewhere entirely different. Noah’s mind was somewhere entirely different. I hoped that if I did ever require first aid it wouldn’t be up to him to give it to me.
At the end of the course, Dad took us out to dinner. Noah ate a complete side of beef, then asked a question — the first I could remember him asking for about a decade. ‘How come she gets to do the filming?’
I saw Mum and Dad glance at each other and I could read their thoughts: He’s showing interest! Fantastic!
Dad punched the calm-voice button. ‘We discussed it. You’ve got a big year of school to get through. Correspondence isn’t a breeze, you know. We didn’t want to load you up.’
I pushed the button for cool and inscrutable. I wasn’t fooled for one second. Old Cara would have sized Noah up in a glance. Stoner. Don’t want him on the end of a camera. Then a thought occurred to me — why not Mum-the-artist, or Dad-the-conservation-expert?
Mum: (brief and tone not inviting discussion) I didn’t want to.
Dad: (hearty) I’m going to be too busy.
Great. I was the choice you make when you haven’t got a choice.
My first filming lesson was scheduled for the next day, but I wasn’t looking forward to it because old Cara had said no and absolutely not when I’d asked if my friends could come too. I’d decided to forgive Lizzie and even though I knew she’d perform again if there were cameras around, she was still my friend. Luckily, the others felt the same way. ‘We can handle it,’ Jax had said.
‘Yeah,’ said Addy. ‘She’s a nut, but she’s our nut.’
But no chance. Cara wouldn’t be budged and I was not enjoying myself.
‘Minna, concentrate!’ she ordered. ‘This entire enterprise is going to depend on you. I thought they taught filming at school these days.’
I dumped the camera on the floor. ‘Look Cara, I’ll do a heap better if my friends can be here.’ She was too serious, too impatient, and I didn’t like her.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Now let’s get serious here.’
‘No,’ I said, and started walking away. I realised, rather late it’s true, that I was the one with all the power in this particular exchange. She knew it too because she gave in, but not exactly gracefully.
I went home, phoning my friends as I ran.
‘Excellent!’ Addy said.
‘Tell her we want a camera each,’ Jax said.
‘Thank you!’ chortled Lizzie.
My spirits lifted. Today there would be the postcard from Seb and he’d say how much he loved me and tell me he’d wait for me.
There was nothing. I was glad to have the filming to do. It was fun with all of us there, and we got down to business once she’d told us how much the dinky little cameras cost. We were careful enough with them to not give her a heart attack every second minute.
Lizzie was definitely a pain. She didn’t want a camera, she wanted to be the star. Oh well, what the hell — it gave us something to film.
‘You’ve done well,’ Cara said at the end of our final session. ‘I congratulate you, Minna. I thought we were in trouble when you wanted your friends to come along, but I was wrong.’ She grinned at the three of us. ‘I’d be happy to let any one of you loose with a camera now.’
Lizzie sidled around until she was in Cara’s line of sight, then she pushed at her curls. Cara nodded at her. ‘There’s some very nice footage of you, Lizzie.’
Lizzie looked back at her, didn’t say anything for several seconds, then murmured, ‘Contact my agent if you’re interested in using me in the future.’ And she gave Cara a business card!
The three of us nearly died trying not to laugh. You had to hand it to Lizzie — she had class.
‘You are classic!’ Addy told her as we ran home against the wind.
Lizzie smirked. ‘She’s been useful to me, but she doesn’t do the type of stuff I’m interested in.’
So when did all this interest start? But I couldn’t be bothered asking. Instead, I said, ‘Watch out for Cara. If something’s good television, then she’ll crawl over broken glass and her dying grandmother to get it.’
‘A slight exaggeration,’ said Jax.
I stopped walking in order to make my point, which they needed to inscribe in their souls. ‘You think back to that stuff we did in the warehouse. D’you want that appearing in living rooms all over the country?’
They shuddered — Lizzie too, I was interested to see. ‘No way! Ask Cara to can it.’
‘I did. She laughed and said it was great footage.’ I rubbed my face. ‘It was a wake-up call for me. I’m not going to film anything embarrassing.’
I stayed the night at Lizzie’s house. She fiddled around after we’d eaten and I got fed up and told her to sit down. She did, then burst out, ‘Min — I really am sorry about what I did — you know, on the day Cara got your clothes. It was awful. I should have …’ Her voice trailed off artistically.
Maybe I’d have been convinced, except I remembered her advice about getting Mum sweet again. So I just said, ‘Yes, you were. Let’s not talk about it.’
Sunday rolled around — the last day of the holidays, but also the day Seb was to get home. If he hadn’t bought me a koala I’d die, I really would — plus he’d better have a damned good excuse for the lack of postcards. I collected up all my gear that had got spread between my friends’ houses and took it home.
I went looking for Mum with the intention of telling her I was going to have dinner at Addy’s house. Worth a try. She might have forgotten Seb was due home at seven tonight. She was in her studio. I paused in the doorway, wondering if it would be a good idea to disturb her or if I should just leave a note. I heard a sniff followed by a distinct sob. My mother was crying. I backed out of the room and slipped from the house. I sent off texts: Crisis mtng beautox.
In thirty minutes we sat at our favourite table, upstairs looking down on the street.
‘Spill!’ Addy commanded once we had lattes in front of us.
I turned mine around and around on its saucer and said, ‘I think Mum’s losing it.’
They put down their cups and I felt their eyes on me.
‘This stuff is foul.’ Addy pushed her cup away. ‘I’ll never develop a taste for it. What d’you mean — losing it?’
I stirred the froth into different patterns. ‘She was crying. In her studio.’
‘Why?’ asked Jax. She was the expert because her mother cried regularly for an entire orchestra of reasons.
I wriggled my shoulders. ‘How would I know?’
They said nothing for ages. Then Lizzie pushed away her cup too. ‘To hell with this. Let’s have hot chocolate instead.’
I was jumpy. There was Mum falling apart for starters, but more important, there was Seb. I couldn’t get him out of my head. ‘What if he says he won’t wait for me? What if …’
Lizzie put a hand over mine. ‘Shut it, Min. What’s the use of all the worry? He either will wait, or he won’t. Nothing you can do.’
True, but it didn’t help my state of mind. I got up. ‘Going home. Thanks, guys.’
I crept into the house, and tiptoed to my room. I hoped Mum would have it together by the time I came face to face with her. The time dragged. Seven o’clock came and went. Seb would have landed. How soon till he phoned me? Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d already decided I was history.
The phone went. Lizzie. ‘Just wanted to tell you to stop chewing your fingernails.’
Ha ha, very funny. I didn’t talk long, just in case Seb phoned. Two minutes later, the phone rang again and it was him. ‘Hiya, doll!’
‘Seb! I’ve missed you!’ Don’t cry, Min. You were crying the last time he saw you.
‘Look babe, can’t talk now. Just leaving the airport. Got you a koala. Bye now.’
‘Goodbye.’ But he’d already gone and that was it for the day. I didn’t know what to think. I phoned Jax. ‘It’s great that he phoned me. I’m so happy about that. But he didn’t say … ’
‘Yeah,’ said Jax. ‘I know. He’s a boy.’
Mum called out that dinner was ready. I hung up and wandered out to the kitchen wondering what I’d find in the way of embarrassing weeping mothers, but she was totally normal.
School started again in the morning. It was difficult to get excited about it seeing as how I was going to be out of there in two short weeks. The only reason I went was to see Seb, and that wasn’t the romantic tryst of the century either. Most days I only got to spend intervals with him and usually we got interrupted by some stupid idiot who just had to chat to him about this team or that match.
He gave me the koala on Tuesday because he forgot to bring it on Monday. It was sweet and furry and cuddly. I hoped he’d say something sweet and loving, but he just thrust it at me and said, ‘Here you are, doll.’
Every day I hoped he’d say something about loving me and waiting for me. But he didn’t, and I couldn’t ask.