MEN ARE IN CRISIS. WE KNOW THIS. THERE ARE BOOKS ABOUT it, seminars about it, retreats about it, academic conferences about it, and every kind of gathering where men sit around and talk about it. As these words are being written, men lag behind women in nearly every measurable field of achievement. If the statistics are true, and if television commercials are any reflection, men today are unhappy, self-loathing, pleasure-addicted, juvenile, and less productive than ever.
Three recent book titles tell the tale. One of them, and it is a major book by a serious author and a very serious publisher, is called Is There Anything Good About Men? Another, by a legendary sociologist, is entitled The Demise of Guys. The third? The End of Men: And the Rise of Women.
It makes you want to weep.
There are many reasons for this crisis of manhood in our time, but I do not plan to spend much time describing them. It is not what we are here to do. It is also where a great many books and men’s programs go wrong. They describe and analyze, mistaking conversation for meaningful change. They substitute words for action. It hasn’t worked.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not against words. I’ve written several dozen books myself. I’m also not against scholarship and cultural analysis. Both are part of what I do. Nor am I anti-intellectual. We need more serious thinking in our world, not less. We just do not need thought as a substitute for action. It’s killing us.
In order to explain why I believe this to be true, I should define the four maxims that frame the vision of manhood I’m urging in these pages. They are the pillars upon which every other truth in this book rests, and they give meaning to the disciplines and virtues I’m asking men to incorporate into their lives. I think they are the four pillars of true manhood, the essentials for becoming manly men.