‘I am very surprised and disappointed, Susan,’ says Mrs Farroukh, about five minutes later. ‘I really thought we could expect better things than this from you. A dare, you say?’

Susan nods. ‘I … I thought it might be funny. You see, everyone thinks I am so boring. “Boring Susan” they call me. To my face.’ Her bottom lip starts to wobble a bit.

I have to say I haven’t heard anyone call her this. But she sounds very convincing. Susan’s voice cracks a little when she adds, ‘It’s … it is like I am being bullied.’

I see an exchange of glances between Mrs Farroukh and Mr Springham. A second later, I glance at Susan and, in that brief moment, she winks at me.

That’s right. Susan is lying for me. She is acting! I can’t believe it, but I have to.

She sniffs deeply, as if holding back tears. ‘I did not dare do it myself. But I dared Malcolm to do it. He … he got carried away.’

The bullying thing is clever. Everyone knows that teachers are terrified of bullying. There are posters up all over the school, and regular assemblies and so on. Still, I’m not sure Mr Springham and Mrs Farroukh have completely believed Susan yet.

‘Is this true, Malcolm? You did this as a “dare”?’

I say nothing. ‘Well, is it? Speak up!’ says Mr Springham and I nod the tiniest, most shameful nod I can.

‘Those things he said about you, Susan,’ says Mrs Farroukh. ‘How could you …’

‘It was all planned, wasn’t it, Malky? He did not mean any of it. It was just … banter.’ She says it like she’s trying out a foreign word for the first time.

Mr Springham’s eyes have narrowed and his gaze flicks suspiciously between me and Susan, as though he isn’t quite sure who to believe. I suppose he just can’t work out why Susan would voluntarily take the blame for something she had nothing at all to do with. He says nothing, though.

Eventually, Mrs Farroukh sighs and says, ‘There is no question that I will be writing to your parents this afternoon in the strongest terms. So-called dare or not, Malcolm, this is the sort of behaviour that we do not tolerate here at Marden Middle School. It goes without saying that you will both be withdrawn immediately from the COMMS project and, Susan, your roles as library monitor, orchestra captain and Green Team coordinator are suspended immediately …’

And so it goes on. Valerie the school counsellor gets another mention. Oh, whoopee.

Basically, though, I’ve got away with it.

I did pretty much the worst thing that’s ever been done in this school. It’s going to be talked about for years … and I’m being let off.

And all because of Susan Tenzin.

Of course, I wait until we’re out in the corridor before I smile at her. And it makes my stomach do a little flip when she smiles back.