CHAPTER FOUR
The Power of Rhythm and Routine
I love the ocean. My perfect day is spent riding waves at the beach, preferably early in the morning or just before sunset, when the light is beautiful and the crowds are sparse. I’ve loved the ocean my whole life. Some of my greatest memories are of piling in the station wagon with my family for a long drive to the beach, where we’d spend the day swimming, playing in the sand, digging for clams, or combing the shore for shells. I’ve always been taken by the majesty of the sea; the mystery of the unseen world below; and the calming, rhythmic sound of the waves.
As I’ve often told readers and audiences, the beach is where I go for sanity, strength, and spiritual connection. I know that a quiet, meditative walk along the water will clear my head, lift my mood, and give me access to wisdom and insight rather than the misguided musings of my thinking mind. I also go there to feel more connected to God; the yearnings of my soul; and what I need to live an authentic, passionate life. In many ways, the ocean is my church.
Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about what draws people to the sea. I’ve walked by hundreds of men and women who were deep in thought as they ran or walked along the shore. I’ve stood with strangers—beach-loving brothers and sisters—to watch wild waves, 20 feet high, pound the shoreline in a winter storm. And I’ve spent countless hours with friends and fellow wave riders floating in the arms of Mother Nature, looking for the next big ride. To me, the ocean represents stability, strength, and a sense of peace and comfort that comes from consistent ebb and flow. When I spend time at the beach and in the water, I feel restored, reconnected to my core, and grounded in a way that spills over into my everyday life.
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There’s something healing about repetition and rhythm, and when I experience this in my everyday life, I feel centered and balanced, too. I was reminded of this during a time when I felt extremely overwhelmed. I was juggling several big projects, and every day seemed like one long, frustrating attempt to get to the important things I really wanted to do. Obligations, e-mails, phone calls, and requests all took up so much time that by the end of my workday, I had no time left for myself. Fed up with feeling out of control, I decided to address the problem by using a simple yet powerful coaching technique.
I sat quietly, took a few deep breaths, and asked myself a challenging question: “What one thing can I do to make better use of my time so I completely eliminate my overwhelm?”
After waiting several minutes, I had a surprising thought: Get to sleep by 11 P.M. and get up by 7 A.M. every day . Not an answer I expected. For quite some time, my sleep schedule had been a bit erratic due to traveling. I’m sensitive to jet lag, and I also had a tendency to stay up late when the world seemed quiet enough to get important projects completed without interruptions. This would have been fine except for the fact that my schedule often required me to be up for meetings during the earlier part of the day. Burning the candle at both ends had made me edgy, anxious, and angry (both at myself and at the situation). No wonder I felt so overwhelmed.
Because I’ve learned to trust my gut when it comes to things like this, I decided to change my sleep schedule for one month and see how it affected my life. The very next day, sitting in my office at 7:30 A.M. , I felt better. There’s something stimulating, almost magical, about the energy of early morning. I love the quiet and peacefulness, and the rising sunlight inspires my creativity.
One month later, during a time when I wasn’t traveling, I realized that by sticking to my new routine, my life had more rhythm and flow, and it felt good. I felt productive and energized during the day, not to mention more focused, and my mood reflected the balance and consistency I’d created in my life. I soon found it easy to spend more time on the things that mattered most.
Riding Life’s Waves
Finding a wavelike rhythm and routine reaps great rewards and can actually be a surprisingly powerful act of Extreme Self-Care. Routine adds stability to our lives and helps us feel more secure. It also provides much-needed relief from mentally managing too many responsibilities.
If you stop to think about it, you’ll probably find that you already have some established routines in place, like:
These routines become the rhythms by which you live and plan your life. And the benefits often affect you in ways you might not expect. For example, when you go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, you support your body’s adrenal system by keeping your hormones stable and balanced. A balanced body helps to create a balanced mind. As a result, peace and order begin to replace the chaos and frenetic energy of a busy life. Meeting with friends at the same time each week—be it having lunch with co-workers or working out with your pals at the gym—gives you a sense of connection and community that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
Think about the cycles of nature: seasons change, the sun rises and sets every day, and tides flow in and out. Unfortunately, our natural human rhythms are too often interrupted by our chaotic lives. We eat at all hours of the day and night. We barely get enough sleep. And we’re distracted by media, electronics, and noise, making it nearly impossible to rest or to focus our energy and attention on one thing at a time. When we’re not in our natural “flow,” our mind and body get confused, which can cause a whole host of problems. For example, our ability to concentrate is disrupted, our moods shift dramatically throughout the day, our energy levels wax and wane, or our natural process of digestion and elimination gets interrupted or impaired.
Establishing a more balanced and healthy routine might mean doing one of the following at the same time every day:
Creating routines at work is also a very effective way to increase performance and productivity. Scheduling activities at the same time each week—meetings, uninterrupted work time, or visits with clients—creates a sense of order that gives the mind a much-needed rest. Setting up regular periods of time when you’re not disturbed will give you a chance to get work done without energy-zapping distractions.
Other ways to create new rhythms on the job include:
If you currently feel that you’re not organized or grounded, there’s a good chance that the peace of mind you long for lies in your ability to create consistent routines in your life. So let’s get to it!
Extreme Self-Care Challenge: Finding Your Own Rhythm and Routine
This month is about experiencing the power of rhythm and routine. To get started, sit quietly and take several deep breaths. Then ask yourself the following question: “What one routine could I put in place this month that would improve my life the most?”
Notice the first thing that comes to mind (especially if it’s something you’d like to ignore). Once you’ve identified what it is, put it in writing on a three-by-five-inch index card and keep it in view throughout the month to remind you of your commitment.
Next, make a plan to put this routine in place for the next 30 days. For example, if you decide that you’ll meditate for 10 minutes in the morning, let family members know that you shouldn’t be disturbed. Or if you plan to return work phone calls from 2 P.M. to 4 P.M. , be sure to let the appropriate people know (such as staff, clients, and so on).
Once your new routine has been in place for a week, take some time to consider how it has affected your emotional and physical well-being by answering the following questions:
Reinforce your new habit by keeping track of positive results in your journal throughout the month.
Resources