part0018

The foundation of a good life is good health. While the concept of Extreme Self-Care can be applied to all areas of your life—career, spiritual well-being, relationships, and so on—what supports each of these areas is the care you provide for the amazing vehicle that takes you through life.

As I dealt with Michael’s illness years ago, I witnessed firsthand what happens to a family when one member is faced with a health crisis. Life as you know it comes to a halt. Roles get switched, strain gets put on a marriage, financial pressure sets in, and your whole world suddenly revolves around getting your loved one well. There’s nothing like such a crisis to drive home the message most of us have heard at one time or another: “Without your health, you have nothing.” You soon realize that caring for your body is one of the most important investments of time and energy you can make.

This month’s focus is on Extreme Self-Care and the body, but not on the areas that you typically see written about—diet, exercise, and losing weight. Instead, we’ll focus on the actions you can take to make sure your body is in the best shape it can be in right now.

When we get busy or overwhelmed, it’s far too easy to take our body for granted. In the last few years, I’ve heard from more and more people who put off making (and keeping) appointments that are directly related to their health and physical well-being. It’s not until we’re faced with a problem that we understand the value of maintaining and caring for our body before a problem arises.

There are a variety of reasons why we don’t get the care we deserve. For many, the challenge has to do with money and the lack of health insurance, which is a big issue for millions of people here in the United States. I remember very clearly what it was like not to be able to afford health coverage when I first started my business and was living alone. For years I put off whatever appointments I could, until one day I got very sick and realized that the care of my body was a far more important investment than the clothes, books, or socializing that had been on my list of expenditures. My body needed to move up to the top of that list.

Once I made the decision to make my health a priority, I went to town researching options for someone in my position: a woman with limited income, living alone, and getting by paycheck to paycheck. I found a program through the state of Massachusetts that provided low-cost medical care to those in need, depending on income. I relied on this program to provide me with coverage for two years, until I could afford to pay for insurance on my own. Then I was able to buy a policy that provided catastrophic coverage—a low-cost option that covered me for accidents or emergency services. Eventually I came to afford a higher level of insurance as my earnings increased.

The point of the story is that your health is a priority that matters. Whether you barter your skills for the services of others, such as a massage, facials, or a haircut (something I did for years); negotiate lower costs with medical providers as an uninsured patient (something I also did); find a financial-assistance program in your community (don’t assume there isn’t one); or give up spending in one area to allow for the health-care appointments you need, caring for your body is one of the best investments you’ll ever make.

For many of us, the decision to put off making health appointments also has to do with fear . . . the fear of finding out that something is wrong. Now more than ever, because of the enormous amount of media coverage and marketing material focused on illness, we’ve become hypersensitive to symptoms and disease. As a result, we suffer in silence, afraid that we might have some kind of serious problem. So we often avoid doctors altogether.

Think of your body as a classic automobile—a beautiful Rolls-Royce—and stop for a moment to consider the care this amazing vehicle might need. It’s probably high time for a tune-up, so please take the opportunity to check out the different parts of your body that may need your attention. Begin by answering the following questions:

1. Is there a health-related issue that you’re concerned about? Several clients I’ve worked with in the past have waited months (and sometimes years!) to have a suspicious lump or mole checked, out of a concern that it might be bad news. Although you may be under the false assumption that ignoring the problem gives you peace of mind, the truth is that your fear—conscious or not—is always running in the background. Like a virus or spyware program hidden on your computer, fear takes energy and resources, whether you realize it or not. If you don’t believe me, think about a time when you finally did something you’d avoided for a while, such as going to the dentist or getting a stress test. Then remember the palpable sense of relief you felt once the appointment was done and you knew everything was all right.

2. Is there something about your physical appearance that you feel self-conscious about? Do your teeth need to be straightened, or are your feet so sore that you’re limited to one pair of shoes? Maybe your hair is thinning or you feel uncomfortable about your posture. These kinds of concerns can have quite an impact on the quality of your life when addressed.

I remember working with a woman who was so self-conscious about her crooked teeth (and so afraid of the dentist) that she never smiled. That’s right, she worked hard to make sure that she didn’t show her teeth. Now imagine the effect not smiling had on her disposition and mood, let alone the quality of her entire life. It’s no wonder that once we found a sensitive dentist and she had her teeth repaired, she felt like a completely different person. Life began to smile upon her, and suddenly she was meeting new people, having fun with friends, and laughing in a way she hadn’t in years. Her willingness to face her fear and make her dental health a priority gave her a brand-new life.

3. Are you overdue for a routine maintenance appointment? Review the list below and see if there are certain self-care items that need your attention. As you read over the list, notice which items spark an “I’ve been meaning to get to that one” response:

Once you decide to overcome your procrastination or face your fear and get the tune-up you deserve, here are some important Extreme Self-Care guidelines that will support you:

The first thing you need to know when practicing Extreme Self-Care as it pertains to the body is that you have to take full responsibility for your health. No more relying solely on doctors and other health-care professionals to tell you what to do. This means getting educated about your body: listening to health podcasts or watching videos online; reading books that teach you about how your body works; exploring complementary or alternative treatment options in addition to traditional modalities; or learning about nutrition, exercise, healthy cooking, or ways to make your body stronger.

Over the years I’ve become an avid health enthusiast. I love learning about new ways to care for my body, mind, and spirit. I’ve come a long way from the young woman who feasted on fast food and sweets and only exercised when she wanted to lose weight—now I’m someone who buys organic fruits and vegetables, works out every day, loves learning about medical breakthroughs and advances, and has written extensively about the link between lifestyle choices and longevity.

Becoming an educated and experienced patient takes time and commitment, but it’s worth the investment. When a health issue arises (and chances are it will at some point), you’ll feel much more empowered and able to make smart choices if you’re a well-informed partner in your health.

Many of us live from the neck up, so overwhelmed by all there is to do that, as a result, we end up missing important signals from our body that provide us with valuable information.

How well do you respond to the needs of your own body? Do you eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, or take a break before you start to feel stressed? Learning to pay attention to such signals will go a long way in keeping you informed about what you need to do to keep your body in shape. Overlooking these signals, on the other hand, can cause trouble. For example, disregarding back pain can lead to the day when you make one little move and your back gives out altogether. Or ignoring your hunger pangs can lead to feeling so famished that you make a mad dash for the vending machine and end up eating candy for lunch.

Learning to connect your head with your body provides you with information that will not only allow you to protect your physical health but will also lead you to make better choices that honor your emotional and spiritual wellness. When you stop to check in with your body before responding to a request, for example, your body becomes a wise and trustworthy partner.

The more you practice tuning in to your body, the more you’ll respond to its needs in an intelligent way. Your feelings become powerful messengers that direct your actions toward healing. You’ll tolerate less stress because you’ll catch the symptoms sooner and take action to alleviate the source. This helps prevent illness later on. And finally, remember that when you pay attention to the sensations you feel, you shift your awareness to the present moment—the wisest place to live.

The old days of giving your power away to healthcare professionals are over. As someone who now practices Extreme Self-Care, it’s imperative that you find health- and body-care providers who treat you like an equal, mature partner committed to his or her health. Anyone who touches your body—a doctor, dentist, nurse-practitioner, massage therapist, or hairstylist—should be someone you trust and feel supported by. This means that you’ll need to do your homework to find the best fit.

Interview a variety of health-care providers to create a great team of professionals who will aid you in taking good care of your body. When searching for these providers, the goal is to find a partner , someone who will back your commitment to be responsible for your overall health and well-being, not an authority figure who tells you what to do. This person should have a good bedside manner and the ability to address all of your questions and concerns in a professional, easy-to-understand way, especially the questions that you’re most afraid to discuss. To find the type of health-care providers who will serve you best, start by asking your most discerning friends and family members for recommendations. Next, check with nurses—they’re a wonderful source for medical information and referrals. Chances are there’s someone in your life who knows a nurse.

Next, once you’ve found the right doctor, dentist, hairstylist, or aesthetician, you need to become a responsible partner—someone who recognizes that it’s ultimately your responsibility to take care of your body. This means planning questions ahead of time, inquiring about all of your options, knowing the products or equipment that will be used on your body, and being clear about your needs so that you can convey them directly.

At some point in your life, there’s a good chance that a health concern (or the need for an appointment) will arise that will make you feel anxious or nervous. This is when having support—the right support—makes all the difference in the world. Knowing whom you can turn to when you need a calming presence during a health crisis is essential in practicing Extreme Self-Care.

My colleague Pam knows that if she requires a medical test that may cause her pain, her wife is not the person to bring along. It only took one experience for the two of them to find out that there had better be a couch around to catch her when she falls. On the other hand, my husband is a knowledgeable health professional and someone who can provide solid emotional support, so he’s my first choice for comfort and guidance whenever I’m faced with a health concern.

When you get sick and need someone to turn to, you want to choose a person who rates low on the drama scale, someone you won’t have to take care of when the going gets tough. As a matter of fact, sometimes doing what’s best for you means not telling others about what’s going on until you have all of the information and details you need. If you know that your sister will freak out about the lump found on your mammogram, for instance, chances are she’s not the woman to contact once you get the news that you need further testing. Calling your best friend or your therapist might be a better choice. And if your partner or spouse gets frantic when you’re sick, you may need to have a good friend spend the night when you get home from surgery just to make sure that you can rest easy during the recovery period.

There are a variety of ways to get the support you deserve when feeling anxious about health issues. You might ask a family member to help you find a sensitive dentist and then accompany you to the appointment. (If you have a fear of dentists, you’re not alone. It’s been the number one fear of my clients as well.) Or you could ask a friend to do some Web research on a particular illness or disease so that you’re not overwhelmed or frightened by what you see.

Over the years I’ve become quite knowledgeable about reading and understanding medical test results. Because I’ve taken an active role in my health care, and because I like to know what’s going on with my body, I make it a point of working with doctors and nurse-practitioners who freely share information. Receiving test results directly may not be for everyone, however. You need to know what’s right for you. Sometimes it’s better to let your doctor (or a loved one) receive and digest the results before discussing them with you. The point is to know what you need to feel safe and supported.

Modern medicine has reached an unprecedented ability to treat and cure a multitude of health problems, not to mention the research that validates the powerful impact diet and exercise has on healing your body. These are reasons to feel empowered about taking care of your health. Your body is an amazing vehicle that takes you through this journey called life. Regular checkups, early detection, and nurturing appointments that care for it are all part of taking good care of you.

This month’s Extreme Self-Care challenge is all about caring for your body. It’s time to listen to what it needs so you can schedule those health appointments that might be overdue. I’d like you to do two things for the next 30 days:

—Practice tuning in to your body by stopping periodically and noticing how you feel. Does your neck feel tight? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Are you hungry? Are you making decisions that feel right in your gut? To help keep you focused, I want you to make two signs that each say CHECK IN WITH YOUR BODY . Hang one on the bathroom mirror, and put the other in a place where you’ll see it throughout the day—as wallpaper on your smartphone or near your computer screen. Then each morning as you brush your teeth, take a few moments to conduct a body scan. Mentally go down, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and simply notice what you feel. Pay attention to any places that hold tension, tightness, or discomfort of any sort. Throughout the day, continue to check in by asking your body what it needs.

—Close your eyes and review your body. Consider your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, torso, hips, legs, and feet—which areas are calling for attention? Do you need a haircut or color? How about an eye appointment? Is a massage in order? Has it been too long since you’ve had a physical exam or a Pap smear?

Once you have an idea of what needs to be done, make a list of the top five items you’d like to handle over the next few months. If you’re concerned about a particular issue, then the first item on your list needs to be calling a friend or family member for support. For example, when my client Leah decided to try a new way of monitoring her breast health by getting a thermogram (a test that uses digital thermal imaging to detect heat changes in the breast), she called her sister and asked her to hold her accountable for making the appointment. Then she had her sister go with her for emotional support.