If it weren’t for the sign with the exotic Caribbean face with yellow earrings, Criolla’s would be easy to miss. But if you do miss it, well, slap whoever’s driving, because you just missed a piece of heaven on earth. The piece of heaven I’d been waiting for since we got here.
Amber pushed her way past us all. She traveled past the palm trees, past the pale stucco walls, past the lamp posts lighting the walkway with teal-green shades that match the teal-green window shutters.
As she stepped through the door, she took the breath right out of the room. She did that most everywhere she went. I slinked in behind her. I did that most everywhere she went too. Joshua was waiting at the bar in the center of the restaurant. He was leaning against a table, staring at the door. And as the beautiful lady who looked more like a goddess than a human made her entrance, I watched his eyes scan her and then cross her shoulder and meet my own. And with the smile that lit up his eyes, I knew. I knew that his heart truly was for me. Every other mouth standing agape may be drooling over the vision in jeans, ones that definitely needed washing by now, but not him. Not my man. I mean, if that man could see the amazing creature in front of me and still have eyes for the midget in the black linen sundress behind her, he had something that I had never found in a man before.
Amber reached him first. Of course.
“Oh, Joshua,” she said, starting to wrap her arms around his neck. He took her hands in his own, a vision of politeness, and returned them to her sides. She wasn’t deterred for a moment. “I’m so glad you could come.You are just going to love my family. Family,” she announced as she turned around. Paige moaned. Thomas rolled his eyes. “This is my wonderful, and extremely handsome bo—” She caught Vicky’s eye. “My lovely friend Joshua.”
Joshua was so gracious. He extended his hand to each member of Amber’s family as Amber introduced him.
Mother eyed him like an inspector inspects a house for termites. He never faltered. He took her hand, held it between his own, and said so genuinely,“Mrs. Phillips, it is a pleasure to personally meet you. And I hope my mistakes of the past will not prevent you from getting to know me for my other qualities this evening.”
I do believe her heart fluttered. He had her in the palm of his hand, literally. Unbelievable. Her very posture softened as Frank, the maître d’, led us to the round table in the far right corner that we would occupy for the evening. Joshua stayed behind for me and whispered in my ear as he placed his hand in the small of my back,“Exhale.”
I did. Loud enough for Thomas to turn around.
Joshua helped me and Amber to our seats. Thomas was ever the gentleman and sat Paige in hers while Dad did the honors for his lovely princess. “You look beautiful,” Joshua mouthed as he made his way to his own seat, chosen by Amber. Next to her. Across from me.
Criolla’s interior was completely Caribbean just like its cuisine. The pale peach walls were accented by deeper peach tones below the chair railing. Teal was the accent of choice in the seat cushions, the ceramic bread baskets, and the carpet.
My eyes caught a mother and daughter having dinner alone in a corner table. They conversed casually and laughed often. As I looked across the table at my own mother, who sat on the other side of Joshua, poor man, I realized I couldn’t even remember the last time Mother and I had shared a meal together, alone. She looked exceptionally beautiful in her vibrant orange jacket and white tank. The color made her dark eyes even more vibrant. Looking at her there, so beautiful, smiling graciously at the man who had all but stolen my heart, I decided we would have to do that soon. Maybe even this week, while we were still on . . . vacation.
“So, Joshua, tell me exactly what your intentions are with Amber.”
Or maybe we wouldn’t. I kicked Dad’s leg. I’m sure he would regret sitting next to me by the end of the evening. “Victoria, why don’t you let us order. Give yourself a chance to get to know Joshua before you interrogate him.”
“Well, I just think we need to know what he—”
“I said we will order, and then we will get to know Joshua this evening.”
We all knew what he meant. Even she knew. He meant,“Sit there like a duchess and shut your yapper!” I patted his knee. It was the least I could do. The man would be bruised for weeks.
I looked at Joshua. A light band of perspiration had broken out above his lip.“Exhale,” I mouthed. He did. Twice. Hard.
Drinks came and dinner was ordered. “So, Mrs. Phillips,” Joshua said as he buttered a piece of bread, “it’s been a pleasure getting to know your husband over these last few months. And Savannah as well.” He looked at me with that Cheshire cat grin. I turned my attention to the straw in my Coke and sucked in a burning mouthful. “What with our cubicles being side by side and all. So I would love for us to get to know each other better as well.” He turned his attention back to her.
Amber scooted her chair closer to Joshua.“Oh, you will have to get to know Miss Victoria. She has been so wonderful to me. Just yesterday we went shopping, and she had so much good advice, about . . . well”—Amber giggled—“about men and, well, not just men, but work and life and all kinds of things. You could learn amazing things from her.” She rubbed his shoulder.
He patted her hand and placed it gently yet firmly back by her plate.
Octopus might as well be on the menu.
“Yeah, you’ll love Mother,” I offered. “She’s charming and witty and very respectful of people’s private lives.” I accentuated the last part to make my point clear.
“I like to get to know people intimately,” she said, eyeing me. “So tell me all about yourself, Joshua.”
And until dinner arrived, he did. And with every word, and every story, and every time he made her laugh, she melted more and more. And by the time dinner arrived, I was certain Victoria thought he would be a perfect lifetime mate. For her new daughter at least.
Dinner arrived, also perfect. Never before was there a better meal, except maybe Victoria’s pork-loin roast with mashed potatoes and gravy. But resting before me, in a phyllo-dough tureen, was a layer of saffron rice covered in the most delicious buttered lump crab meat you’d ever want to taste. It is sinfully delicious. Most everyone ordered the same at mine and Dad’s urging. Thomas sat conspicuously quiet on his side of the table, and Paige rarely talked during meals anyway. I eyed the two of them, thinking maybe she should marry Thomas.They both loved food. But what good was food if you only ended up killing your spouse?
“So what are your thoughts on marriage and children?” I heard come from the pink glittering mouth across the table.
I felt a lump of crab lodge itself in my nasal cavity.
Joshua looked at me. I think my face had turned blue. “Are you okay, Savannah?” he asked, reaching across the table and handing me my water.
Every eye turned to me. I did the Heimlich on myself and recovered with as much grace as possible.“Fine,” I managed.
Joshua turned his attention back to Amber and spoke without hesitation. Why shouldn’t he? He meant every word he was about to say.“I think marriage and children and family are one of life’s greatest gifts.” He caught my eye. I grabbed my water and didn’t stop until I had gulped to the bottom and swallowed a lemon seed.
The table’s attention turned to me again. “Savannah, you’re going to choke again if you don’t slow down,” my father said, now patting my knee.
“Sorry,” I sputtered, longing for something stronger. If I didn’t fear my mother building an altar there in the middle of the restaurant and anointing me with olive oil, I’d have downed a bottle of wine all by myself. It was lost on her that Catholics and Presbyterians, and who knows,maybe even Methodists, actually had wine for communion. She thinks Jesus turned the water into Welch’s.
“You were saying?” Amber said, after turning her glare from me and reconstructing her swoon for Joshua’s benefit. The woman was brazen.
“I think family is wonderful. My parents divorced when I was in high school.” I saw Mother twitch. “But I had a wonderful mentor who showed me what a real family looks like. Kind of like what Thomas and Savannah have with theirs.”
“And me,” Amber reaffirmed.
“Yes, please don’t forget Amber.” Thomas finally spoke. He turned his suspicion-filled eyes to me.
What? I gestured in return. I had gone to stabbing my crab meat and simply relocating it to other areas of my plate.
What? he mimicked with a shrug.
“Ah . . . ah . . . choo!” Amber spewed daintily.
“Bless you,” Joshua said.
“I’ve got to refill my Viagra prescription,” she said, emphasizing prescription so we’d know she got it right. She wiped her nose with a tissue.
Thomas and Paige gasped simultaneously.
Mother and Dad glanced at each other.
Joshua about choked himself.“Your what?”
“She means Allegra,” I assured the rather aghast party. “It’s Allegra,Amber. Allegra.”
“Yeah, for my allergies.”As if that’s what she meant all along. “So do you like sports?” Amber asked.
“All men like sports!” I snorted, rather obnoxiously, I might add. Paige kicked me.“In fact, this table would be fabulous at soccer.” I rubbed my leg and glared at her.
“Yes, it would,” Dad agreed.
“And prime candidates for therapy,”Thomas added.“Because you are all acting very odd tonight.”
“We’re not acting odd.” I chuckled. “Who’s acting odd?” I turned to Paige.“You see anybody odd?”
“I don’t see anybody odd.”
Thomas sat back in his chair and decided to leave us to our odd selves. Maybe because I reminded him with my eyebrow that I knew his secret.
“Mother went to therapy once,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
“Savannah!” Mother said, clutching her chest.
“Well, you did!”
“What I do is not for public consumption. We have newspaper people here,” she whispered, as if the man next to her couldn’t hear her talk to me across the table.
“Ooh, I love therapy stories,” Amber said, bouncing in her seat. “I have tons. You share Miss Victoria’s. I’ll share mine.”
Dad grabbed my knee. But this just felt right, so I continued, “She started the day she left Dad.”
Mother reached across the table, trying to grab me. “Savannah, you stop right now!”
“Savannah, you’re pushing it,” Dad replied, trying not to get a kick out of the whole thing.
“Oh, Mother, it’s really cute.”
“I’m finding absolutely nothing cute about it,” she said through gritted teeth.
“We’ll let Joshua judge,” I offered.
“And me, oh, let me. I love to judge.”Amber bounced again.
Paige was doing her best to contain herself. Which was a miserly offering.
“Mother had gotten mad at Dad—”
“Jake, I swear, if you don’t stop her—”
“Mother, it is not nice to swear,” I scolded.
“Savannah, you need to stop. You’re not going to tell your mother’s business here at the dinner table.”This time he meant it. He knew every deficiency in the woman next to him. But they were not going to be told by someone else. Even if he himself knew how funny they were.
“Forgive me. I will not tell how my mother left you and rolled her luggage up the street only to find no room in the motel, and how Paige’s mother had to pick her up and let her spend the night at their house, all of which forced her into one therapy session. I promise I will not tell that story.”
“Savannah.” His lip was quivering.
I patted his knee.“I know, Dad. That would be tacky.”
The waitress came and removed our dishes, and I watched as what I had waited days for was taken out from under me with not much more than a nibble. I glared at the woman across from me.
“Okay, now me, me!” Amber said, still bouncing in her seat. No wonder the child weighed ten pounds. She couldn’t stop moving.
“The first time I went to therapy . . .”Now Mother was casting her glaring looks that meant, Child, you don’t tell the man you want to father your children about your therapy visits. Amber never noticed a thing. “It was right after the first time I lost the Miss Georgia United States of America pageant.” A collective groan went up from Paige,Thomas, and me. Joshua listened like a perfect gentleman. Mother winced. Dad ordered another dessert. And Amber talked for the next fifteen minutes about the therapist who taught her how to look into the mirror and tell herself,“Hey, you. Look at me when I’m talking to you!”
That caused the whole table to crack up. Amber really was charming in a bizarre kind of way. And she was completely enamored with Joshua, who was as polite as I’ve ever seen a man be.
“Please join us for our evening stroll,” Amber encouraged him as he pulled her and Mother’s chairs out for them.
Now it was “our” evening stroll.
“Oh no,Amber. No evening stroll this evening.”
I laughed.“Yeah, after last night’s stroll, I’m not sure anyone would want to—”
“Savannah!” Mother and Dad called in unison.
I lowered my voice.“We’re fasting from evening strolls. It’s a personal thing.”
Amber picked up a toothpick as we started out the door. Mother snatched it from her hand about the time she sucked a kernel of saffron rice from her tooth.“Women don’t pick their teeth in public,” Mother reproved.
“But I’ve got rice stuck—”
“I don’t care. I don’t care if you got rice stuck up your—” Mother restrained herself. “Throw it away,” she said quietly, trying not to force attention.
Amber chunked it in the garbage.
Joshua’s bike was sitting in the parking lot.“Do you want me to ride back with you?” Amber offered.
“Oh!” He tried to hide his shock.“No. I wouldn’t want you to have to do that.”
“I don’t mind, really,” she cooed.
Thomas touched her arm and spoke up. “That’s okay, I’m going to walk his bike back with him. I’d love to get to know him a little better.” Amber pouted at Thomas. No love was flowing between those two.
“It was a pleasure to spend the evening with all of you,” Joshua said. He shook Dad’s hand and gave my mother a tender hug.
“Oh . . .well, uh-huh, it was a pleasure spending the evening with you too, Joshua,” she said, trying not to let her orange-red lipstick spread from ear to ear.
“I hope all my mistakes are water under our bridge.”
She smiled. “Just don’t make me build any more bridges.”
He laughed.“I’ll do my best.” He reached for Amber’s hand, and she threw her arms around his neck. His responder couldn’t respond quick enough to prevent that one, so he patted her back. Then he gave Paige a hug and turned to me. I reached for his hand and shook it vehemently.“Great to see you, Joshua.” I reached up and slapped him on his arm like two players in a huddle.
“You too.” He took my hand between his and held it softly. I tried to prevent my body from melting. And it was virtually impossible. “I’ll call you soon,” he mouthed.
I nodded as imperceptibly as possible.
As everyone climbed into the car,Thomas whispered in my ear.“You owe me,Vanni.” I raised my right eyebrow. In my mind we were even.“You owe me big.”
He knew. He always knew.
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
“So how long?” Thomas asked as he laid himself across the foot of Paige’s bed. Catching sight of her face covered in a cucumber mask about sent him toppling off the side.“My word, woman, what is that?”
She stuck out her tongue. The only colored item on her albino face.“Amber gave it to me. She said it would transform me in fifteen minutes.”
“Dream—”
“Shut up!” she retorted.
He turned his attention back to me.“So, how long?”
I laid my book across my chest and cocked my head at him. “How long what?”
“How long have you been crazy about that man?”
I huffed.“You’re so silly.”
“I’m so owed after saving your man from having to tote Miss Attached at the Hip home on his bicycle built for one.”
I grinned at him. “I really appreciate it. So now we’re even. And what did he say?” I sat up in the bed and leaned in Thomas’s direction.
“He said Amber looked hot!”
I threw my pillow at him. Paige kicked him with her feet, which he had planted himself on.“Ow!” He laughed. “Actually, he said that you had been crazy about him since the day you met him.”
“He did not.” But I knew he had.
“He did too. But he did add that he had been crazy about you since then too.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, he did. Why have you been keeping this a secret?”
Paige kicked him again. “Hello. Amber was the one who invited him to dinner, in case you forgot. Not Savannah.”
“She knows he’s not into her.”
I laughed at his naiveté. “You’ve got to be kidding. That woman has no idea he is not completely taken with her. She’s certain he is the man of her destiny.”
“So tell her the truth.”
“Oh, just like that? Prance myself right in there and tell her the truth?” I leaned back against the pillow between me and my plaid-padded headboard. “This coming from a boy who’s scared of his mama.”
“I’m not scared of my mom. I just want to enjoy my vacation. I’ll tell her I broke up with Mary Francis after vacation.”
“You and Mary Francis broke up?!”The howl came from the vision in orange, who was trying to hold herself up by the door casing. She clung to her orange-clad rat with her other arm.
Thomas’s face went ashen. He refused to turn around and kept his eyes on me.
“Thomas Phillips, you will come into my room and tell me and your father what in the world you are thinking. That girl is marriage material. She’s smart and comes from a wonderful home, and I’ve already picked out your wedding china!” She forgot Maggy was in her arms as they waved up and down.
He finally turned.“Mother, it is no big deal.”
“No big deal? I’ve made plans. Called friends!”
“We weren’t even engaged!”
“That was a mistake too! I’m not sure what it is with you and Savannah that you have such trouble finding and keeping love. With what me and your father have, you’d think you’d be love magnets.”
Thomas stood up and took Maggy from Mother’s arms before the hairball got thrown across the room. Maggy looked incredibly appreciative. For a moment I wondered if the poor thing even liked having to dress to match her mother. “Go to your room and relax,” he said, patting her shoulder. “I’ll be in there in a few minutes and we can talk about everything.”
“Fifteen minutes, Thomas. You have fifteen minutes.” And with that she turned around and walked away. We listened to her heels as they departed, only to hear them turn around and head back in our direction. We all held our breath. She returned only to snatch Maggy from Thomas’s grip. I do believe Maggy reached her paws out for Thomas to save her, but it was too late. Mother’s door slammed behind them.
“Like I said, you might want to get the truth on out there, or it will blow up in your face, sunshine,” he said, leaning against the door. “But I do like him.”
“You do?” I smiled.
“Yeah. If you can keep him, you will have outdone yourself.”
Our pillows hit him simultaneously.