“Holy hell and seashells,” I muttered as the demons surfaced and swam toward the shore like bullets out of a gun.
They were semitransparent with blistered skin and enormous teeth. Their eyes were beady slits in their misshapen heads and instead of hands the demons had razor sharp claws. The smell of death wafted through the air and clouds moved quickly to cover the sun. It was now dark and ominous.
My nightmares had never come close to imagining anything as horrid as what I was now seeing.
“Don’t separate,” Archer shouted. “We fight in twos and threes. They will attack loners first.”
“Aye,” Thornycraft shouted over the wind that had picked up substantially. “Methinks I’d like to fight with ye,” he said to me with a smile. “Are ye good with that?”
“I’d be honored,” I said and gave my BFF a quick hug.
“Call the sharks, Misty,” Tallulah commanded.
“On it,” I yelled back as I raised my arms to the sky and beckoned the deadly sea creatures. “Come to me, my friends. Slow the evil. Keith call the Krakens.”
“Already done,” he said. “They’re thirty minutes out and coming in fast. Ten are on their way.”
Ariel’s mate could actually speak with the sea creatures and understand what they were saying. Me? I could only ask for help.
“Excellent,” I said, blocking the flying sand from my eyes.
Archer stood front and center on the beach with Poseidon on one side of him and Wally on the other. Pirate Doug stood next to his father with his middle finger held high in greeting to the demons. It was wildly impressive to see so many gods in one place—the magic surrounding them was intense. My heart was in my throat, but I was a warrior. My love was a warrior as well. The human world would be fucked if we lost today and Zeus would be furious.
I had no plans to lose and I knew Archer didn’t either.
“Glitter fish bombs. GO,” I called out to my sisters as I threw an exploding sparkling grenade into the water. Several more followed and Madison was on fire… literally. It was one of her gifts. She literally became a searing hot pink flame and could incinerate anything within five feet of her without even touching it.
“Oh my hell,” I gasped out as I noticed Bonar standing right next to my blazing sister. “He’s gonna get burnt to a crisp. Thornycraft, you need to save Bonar from Madison.”
“Nay,” Thornycraft said with a chuckle as he pulled a sword so sharp and large from thin air I jumped back. “Bonar will be fine. Fire doesn’t affect swivlin’ nards like him.”
“What is he?” I asked as I launched fish bomb after fish bomb at the evil demons.
“Same as me,” Thornycraft answered. “Duck!”
Bolts of black lightning struck the beach, leaving craters behind in their deadly wake. The demons didn’t come ashore. They didn’t need to. They were throwing their deadly magic from the shallows and doing just fine.
“How are we supposed to stop them from multiplying if they stay in the water?” I asked, ducking another lethal burst.
“Well, ye have a couple choices the way me sees it,” Thornycraft said, eyeing the demons with disgust. “Ye can wait for the peg legged bow bunglers to come to us… or we can go to them.”
“Let’s go,” I yelled as I sprinted to the sea. In the water I was even stronger than on land. My tail could knock the head off the strongest of foes. I was ready to find out what it would do to a demon.
“Misty, no!” I heard Archer shout.
“Yes,” I shouted back. “Send them back to Hades. I’m going to make sure there are only five.”
I was positive he would be pissed at me, but if we were going to come out of this, it was going to take a miracle. Miracles like that didn’t happen on their own…
Tallulah, Ariel and a still blazing Madison were right on my tail, followed by a war cry screaming Thornycraft, Bonar and Upton. Those arses were my kind of crazy.
“Don’t look ‘em in the beady eye,” Upton yelled as he went to behead one gunning for him.
As he sliced through the neck of the demon, three more appeared. Shit. Madison burned one to the point I was sure the demon had melted into the sea, but no. Four more popped up. Fuck. Rearing back and swinging my tail at the one who was trying to bite me, I hit the ugly thing with everything I had. His transparent head went flying and I was sure I’d found the key.
But no… five more appeared in his place.
They were taking hit after hit, but so were we. Blood filled the crystal blue water—theirs and ours. My own blood ran freely down my face due to one of the demons’ knife-like claws. My people were still alive, but it was only a matter of time before one of us perished.
And then it hit me. It was the violence they were feeding on—violence—hate—fear. Evil fed on those things. I needed the opposite to defeat them. They got through the abyss because of a lack of love. Maybe love would send them back.
“Out of the water,” I shouted. “NOW. Follow my lead.”
As the gods chanted and tried to send the evil back to Hades, the odds were not looking good. We’d started with five and there had to be at least thirty now. A few had popped and disappeared, but as fast as the gods were working, it wasn’t fast enough.
“Love,” I shouted over the strong winds as I hit the shore and dodged the black lightning. “Show your love. It will destroy them.”
“What?” Tallulah shouted, pulling Upton and Bonar from the crashing waves. “You want me to send a dove? I really think that’s a bad idea.”
“NO! Love, hold my hand. Love me,” I insisted, helping to pull the rest of our small, tattered and bleeding army from the water.
Archer was on me in a flash. “Misty,” he growled, his eyes blazing with fury. “Do not do that again. I can’t do what I have to do if I’m terrified you’re going to die.”
“I love you,” I said and pushed him back to the formation of the gods. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. Chant! Send the evil away. And remember… I. Love. You.”
He looked confused, but it didn’t matter. This would work. It had to.
“Thornycraft, I love you too. I love you with all my heart. You’re my best friend.”
“Aye. I love ye too, little hooker,” he said with a grin that indicated he knew exactly what I was doing. “Upton and Bonar, ye shites, I love ye. I will love ye till the end of time.”
“We love year scrawny arse too,” Upton and Bonar answered as they piled sand to act as a barrier against the lightning.
“Tallulah, Ariel, Madison,” I shouted and took their hands in mine. “I love you. I will love you forever and I will have your back always. I love you.”
“I love you too!” Tallulah shouted at the top of her lungs. “And I love my sisters and Keith. I love Pirate Doug to the stars and back. And I even love the inebriated, broken-peckered God of the Sea. I love Wally and I love the arses.”
“I love Keith,” Ariel announced. “I love his weird family and I love all the creatures in the sea which is why I’m a total vegan now. I LOVE being vegan.”
“I love kicking my brother Kurt’s ass. I love Ariel more than my own life and I’m learning to love doing the laundry,” Keith yelled, grabbing Ariel and kissing her soundly.
“Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it,” Archer commanded. “They’re being sucked back down to Hades even without the power of the gods.”
“I love setting things on fire and I love Piña Coladas,” Madison joined the party. “And I’m pretty sure I have a crush on a human.”
“Well, that’s certainly interesting,” I muttered with a laugh.
Archer was correct. It was working. The demon count was going down. There were only three left.
“I love my tallywhacker and I love what Tallulah can do to it. I also love my purple swimming hooker,” Pirate Doug yelled as everyone winced. “I love looking at myself in the
mirror and I love my wedding outfit. I. Am. So. Hot.”
“You’re an idiot,” Poseidon bellowed and slapped Pirate Doug up the side of the head. “But I love you. I love all nine hundred and ninety-nine of my legitimate and illegitimate children. And most of all, I love Wally even though she’s a little rough on my pecker.”
“And I love you right back, you dumbass,” Wally said as she took Poseidon’s hand in hers. “I love my son even though he needs his mouth washed out with soap most of the time. I love all of you… just don’t cross me and it will all be good.”
“Ahoy, Cupid,” Thornycraft shouted, pointing at Archer. “Ye got anything to add?”
“I do,” he said, looking at me with so much adoration in his eyes I didn’t even need to hear the words. “I love my emerald-haired Mermaid. I love her more than words could ever express. I plan to spend the rest of eternity showing her how much I love her.”
“We did it!” Poseidon bellowed, taking Wally in his arms and spinning her around. “The demons are gone.”
“Love saved the day,” I shouted and jumped for joy.
And then I screamed.
The demons were not gone. One was left and he wasn’t going home until he’d taken his revenge. And he wanted me…
The bolt came so fast it was almost invisible.
Time seemed to halt and went into horrifying slow motion.
Archer’s own scream was furious and he flew at the deadly black lightning as if his own life depended on, but he fell short.
Poseidon dove to take the hit, but failed as well. My sister’s anguished cries echoed in my ears as I tried to deflect the hit, but I wasn’t a god. I was simply a Mermaid. And apparently it was my time to go.
Closing my eyes, I braced myself to take the hit and thought only thoughts of pure love. Love for all of the people here and even those long gone. I’d be able to say I was sorry to my father soon. That was a good thing. But mostly I thought of Archer and I sent him my love with everything I had. He would be okay. He would live. That made me happy. I opened my eyes to look at everyone one last time.
And nothing happened… to me.
NO,” I screamed as Thornycraft, with the most inhuman speed I’d ever witnessed in my long life, put himself between me and the deadly blast from hell.
My friend’s body took the hit and his blood spattered all over me. My screams echoed in my head and my vision blurred. Thornycraft’s act of love popped the demon and it dissolved into a thin tendril of black smoke that blew away on the wind. But my beautiful friend didn’t fare as well as I did.
My blood thundered in my ears and part of my heart permanently died as my sweet stuffed animal loving, brilliant best friend turned to ash at my feet.
Falling to the ground and wailing with an agony so deep, I didn’t recognize myself. My tears blinded me and I had no clue what was happening around me. The thought of never seeing Thornycraft’s sweet smile again in this lifetime devastated me. My insides felt hollow and I buried my fingers in the ash that was my beloved friend. I felt Archer’s strong arms come around me and I held on for all I was worth—which felt like nothing at the moment.
Thornycraft had died saving my life. This was not supposed to happen. How did this happen. And who in the fuck was laughing?
Swiping the tears from my eyes, I stood and turned in the direction of the hideous sound. As my vision cleared I saw the perpetrators and I couldn’t believe my eyes. My fury built like a volcano inside me and I’d raised my arms to the sky. Sending a blast of magic so violent, Upton, Bonar and Pirate Doug went flying at least fifty feet in the air and landed with sickening thuds.
“What is wrong with you? He just told you that he loved you,” I ground out as I raised my hands high, prepared to zap them even harder. “Thornycraft is dead. He was your friend—for hundreds of years. You are horrid.”
“No, no, no, no,” Pirate Doug said, trying to bite back his laughter. “That’s not why we’re laughing.”
“Actually, it is,” Bonar said, rubbing his ass that had taken the brunt of my fury.
“That’s it. You will regret laughing at Thornycraft’s death,” I growled and began to send another searing blast.
And then a sound stopped me. It was the crying of a baby—a small, helpless, scared baby.
“What the heck?” I whispered as I jerked around and saw a tiny baby lying in the ashes where my friend had perished.
“That’s why we were laughing,” Pirate Doug said as he scooped the crying baby up in his arms and held him out to me. “Thornycraft is too mean to die for good.”
“Aye,” Upton agreed with a huge grin on his face. “Ye can’t kill a salty dog. Them scoundrels keep comin’ back.”
“That’s Thornycraft?” I whispered as I stared at the beautiful baby.
“Aye, little hooker it is,” Bonar said. “We always rise from the ashes.”
“Like a phoenix?” I asked, wondering if that was their species.
“Nay,” Upton replied with a laugh. “Phoenixes are wankers. Our kind is much better.”
“But Thornycraft said his mum died recently,” I said, still transfixed with the tiny adorable baby who was smiling at me. “How did she die if the rest of you can’t?”
“His mum will be back eventually. She was tired and needed a rest,” Bonar explained as he cooed at baby Thornycraft. “Looks like we’re gonna have to raise the little scurvy bastard this time seein’ as his mum isn’t around.”
“No,” I said and took the little semi-fingered baby from Pirate Doug’s hands. “You will not be raising Thornycraft.”
“And who will raise the little tar stain?” Upton inquired with a wide smile.
I looked over at Archer who smiled, rolled his eyes and laughed all in the same move.
“I am,” I said. “He’s mine and I will love him and raise him right.”
“Good luck to ye,” Bonar said with a laugh. “The little rope burn was a shite about potty trainin’ last time round.”
I held my little Thornycraft close and kissed his sweet smelling little baby head. He’d saved my life and now I would take care of his. The worst day of my life was turning out to be the best.
“I really have to take a leak,” Poseidon said, hopping up and down. “But before I do, I hereby name Misty of the Mystical Isle Pod and Archer, the demigod of love as Cupid.”
“What?” I asked as my smile grew wider. “Both of us?”
“Yep,” Archer said as he wrapped his arms around both me and Thornycraft. “Both of us. I’m nothing without you.”
“Back at ya, sexy pants. I’ll pick ‘em and you shoot ‘em.”
“Deal,” he said and kissed the top of my head. “The world will be overflowing with love now.”
“It better be,” Poseidon called out from behind a bush, clearly relieving himself. “I’ll be watching.”
“What about the tear in the abyss?” Madison asked. “Does it need to be mended?”
“Aye,” Poseidon said as he came back to the group pinning his diaper back on. “Are you up for an adventure Madison? I’ll be diving to the bottom of the ocean right after the wedding.”
“I’m in,” Madison said. “I’m totally in.”
“Well,” I said, glancing around at the people I loved most. “I think my baby needs to go down for a nap. He’s had a big day.”
“Can you say understatement?” Tallulah said.
“Umm… yep. I can,” I replied with a laugh. “So Archer… are you ready to take your family home?”
“Would you like to go to your palace on Mount Olympus or your suite at the resort?” he asked with a sexy grin.
“Oh my hell and seashells. You have a palace?”
“We. We have a palace. What’s mine is yours, my Mermaid—until the end of time.”
I was speechless, but not because I now had a palace. That was just fun. I was speechless because I was so happy. I had a demigod that I loved to distraction and the baby version of my best friend to raise. I still had no clue what Thornycraft actually was, but I would find out soon enough. My family was fine and I no longer blamed my father for something he didn’t do. I was the luckiest Mermaid in the Seven Seas and not a day would go by that I didn’t give thanks for that gift.
“Ready to start our life?” Archer asked, holding out his hand to me.
“Yes I am.”
And I was. I would follow my love to the ends of the world and back. Love did not stink.
I would never be all out of love and love would definitely keep us together. I had a bad case of loving Archer and I would never lose that loving feeling. This crazy little thing called love didn’t cost a thing. I might have a palace, but I would happily live in a shack with the demigod of Love.
Because love was no longer a battlefield.
It was what made the world go round.
— The End… for now —