There were soldiers everywhere. Austin had instructed them to guard the perimeter. Everyone who hadn’t been dispatched with Eve or sent to Thirteen was monitoring the grounds. Seeing the vampire soldiers out, rifles with silver bullets at the ready, made me feel as though we were on lockdown. Which, I suppose, we were.
“You’ll be safe while I’m gone.” Austin laced his fingers through mine as we started our tour of the grounds. “I’m only going to take two of my men with me, and I’ll assign a full team to you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t need a team. Having them guard the castle makes more sense. I have Eve to protect me.” Beast panted as he rolled along behind us. “And Beast, of course.”
Austin wrinkled his nose but didn’t say anything. He was beginning to understand how much I really loved the gnome, and much to my delight, he’d begun to begrudgingly tolerate him. I filed away the fact that he’d included Beast in our walk. It was basically a miracle. Maybe my furry friend is growing on the prince.
Austin suddenly stopped near a garden with asters rioting in purples and pinks and an entrance lined by a low rock wall. Beast rolled into him and Austin glared down at the gnome. “Watch it, Furball.”
Note to self: maybe not.
I nudged Austin. “What do you want to show me?”
He stopped glaring and motioned toward the flowers. “This is where Rhys tried to attack you during the full moon.”
“I remember.” How can I forget? I pictured the werewolf leader snarling, saliva dripping from his jaw, and shuddered.
“I wanted to show you the path he came in on so you’d be more aware of how the wolves travel through the woods. My men are familiar with this route, and they monitor it constantly. While I’m gone, I want you to stay away from here. But I wanted to explain why I’m banning you from certain portions of the grounds so you won’t think I’m merely being overprotective.”
He led me into the center of the garden then stopped in his tracks. The flowers were trampled in a straight path toward the forest. Austin bent down and inhaled deeply. “Get behind me.”
I grabbed Beast, cradled him to my chest, and immediately crouched down behind the prince. “What is it?”
He shook his head. “Not what—who. Stay close to me. We’re going in there, and I will protect you. I have to get her. If she speaks inside your head, tell me immediately.”
“If who speaks in my head?”
“Rose.” Austin’s lips set in a grim line. “Do not listen to a word she says. The new ones lie all the time, moaning and groaning about how bad they feel. It’s a trick to get you to come closer. Do you understand?”
I nodded, adrenaline thrumming through my body. “Y-Yes.”
He nodded then clasped my hand again, pulling me into the flowers. We followed the path through the trampled plants. The stalks, still wet with morning dew, clung to my gown. Beast whined, and I shushed him.
Finally, we made it through to the other side. There was a narrow strip of lawn and then the woods. It was eerily silent, as if the forest itself was holding its breath. We walked into the tree line and Austin tucked me behind him again. He crouched as if he were ready to launch himself.
“Rose?” he called.
No one answered.
Austin motioned for me to follow him. My heart rate kicked up. The last time I was out here, I’d been a prisoner—first of the werewolves and then of Abigor. Sensing my discomfort, the prince reached for my hand once more.
We reached a small clearing, and Austin stopped. He raised himself to his full height. “Rose. I know you’re here. Come out. We mean you no harm.”
A flash of a blush-pink muslin streaked between the trees.
The prince cursed. “Rose! Come here!”
“I can’t.” Her muffled voice came from behind a large ash tree. “She’s here.”
“She’s my property, not to mention your friend. You are ordered to leave her alone. I know you have enough strength to stay away.”
She laughed, but the sound was tinny, hollow. “Then you know more than me, Your Highness.”
He cursed again. “We must get you inside and feed you. How did you get out here, anyway?”
Rose peered out from behind the tree, and I caught the first glimpse of my friend since her transformation. Her cheeks, which were often flushed in her human life, were ghostly pale. She no longer wore her glasses, and her big eyes shone with a new shimmery luster. They weren’t blazing, like Eve’s, but they were abnormally bright. Her lips looked darker, as if she were wearing a rich plum lipstick. Her hair was longer and glossier, a thick mane of brown waves cascading over her shoulder.
Rose had always been pretty, but now she was dazzling. Mesmerized, I couldn’t stop staring. “You look lovely, Rose. I’m so sorry I haven’t been to see you yet.”
Rose shook her head. “You mustn’t come near me. I’m the devil herself.”
My shoulders slumped. “That’s not true. You’re a good person—always have been and always will be. Nothing can change that.”
“Always” means something different now, Rose said inside my head. It means something I can never escape from.
I jumped.
“What did she say?” Austin hissed.
“Um… Er…”
But Rose thought-spoke into my mind again, interrupting me. I’m in so much pain, Blake. Help me! I’m so thirsty. I feel like I’m going to be trapped in this hell forever because of what Abigor did—
“Rose, no!” I tried to break free of Austin, but he held me—and Beast—back. “Everything’s going to be all right. You’ll see. Eve said she went through the same thing, but she got used to it eventually—”
Let me drink from you. I’m begging. Rose stepped out from behind the tree, her long pink gown muddied and torn. She reached for me, a wretched, pleading look on her beautiful face.
Austin crouched and hissed, his fangs showing. “Stop talking in her head, dammit. I’ve warned you about this. I don’t know who let you out, but their heads are going to roll for it.”
“Please.” She clasped her hands together and looked at Austin, begging. “How can you stand it—the smell of her?”
He glanced back at me then turned to face Rose. “You will learn, over time, that there are more important things than feeding. I know you can’t think straight, but remember this: you’re going to get past this, and you’re going to feel better. Your thirst won’t always control you—I promise you. Now, let me return you to your room. I’ll get you some donated blood immediately, and you’ll start to feel better.”
“I can’t go back with you. Her smell…” Rose put her face in her hands, weeping. “I can’t bear it.”
“I’ll go back to the castle and lock myself inside.” I looked at Austin, waiting until he nodded. “I’ll be in the library.”
He quickly kissed my lips and released me. I gave my friend one last look. “I’m so sorry, Rose. For everything.”
She didn’t look up. “Please go before I say something else I’m sure to regret.”
Beast and I fled back to the garden. Without a backward glance, we ran all the way to the castle then locked ourselves inside.
I’d paced the length of the room more times than I could count, Beast rolling behind me, before Austin came back.
He rushed to my side. “I’m so sorry—that must’ve been excruciating for you.”
“It was a bit worse for Rose, I suspect.”
He nodded, his face dark. “She snuck out while her guards changed place. They’ve been dealt with, I’ll have you know. The young ones are crafty. As we mature, we think our senses are just as sharp, but the newly born vampires see and hear everything, including every opportunity to get themselves into trouble.”
“Was she okay?” I felt miserable about the whole encounter. Rose had seemed so different, so wholly out of control, that it had frightened me.
Austin took my hand and ran his thumb over it. “She’s fine. She had something to eat, and even though it wasn’t what she wanted”—his gaze raked over me—“she’ll be all right.”
I shook my head. “She didn’t seem like herself. I thought that the transformation would be a blessing, but it seemed more like a sentence to purgatory. Or worse.”
Austin watched my face. “It will get better.”
I shivered. “The poor thing.”
“Do you understand now?”
I shook my head. “What?”
“Why I don’t want to change you?” he asked softly.
I nodded. I didn’t know Eve before she was changed, so I had imagined that she was the same as in her new life. But what if she wasn’t? Rose had seemed so strange, so wild, so different from her human self.
I peered at Austin. “Is it always that…terrible?”
He shrugged. “Each transformation is different. From what I’ve heard, Eve’s adjustment was almost seamless. But I’ve seen humans struggle with their vampire identity. Some don’t truly assimilate for decades.”
“What happens to them?”
Austin shook his head. “They live as outsiders for a while. But as time passes, they forget their human selves. And eventually, all vestiges of their former life disappear. They can’t remember what it was like to be human, and it makes it easier.”
I swallowed hard. “I guess I was being reckless when I asked you to change me. It’s…sort of a big deal.”
The prince laughed. “You think? It’s changing your body at a cellular level!”
I blinked at him. “At a ‘cellular’ level? That sounds a bit like ‘hydroponics’—new-age kerfuffery, as you might say.”
“I’m not talking about growing plants in a plastic bin. I’m talking about transitioning between mortality and immortality. It is a big deal—a monumental one.” He squeezed my hand. “There’s no reason for you to worry about being turned. Things will stay as they are. I will keep you safe, my lady. You have my word.”
“Thank you.” I nodded. “When can I see her again?”
“I don’t know. But I promise, as soon as she’s ready, you’ll be the first to know.” He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I must meet with my men and prepare for my journey. When Eve returns, I’ll come and find you both before I leave.”
My breath hitched. “You’re leaving today?”
“Yes. This afternoon. I hope it’s acceptable to you that we skip the rest of the tour of the grounds. We don’t want any more trouble, and I have a myriad of things I need to attend to.”
“I understand,” I said. One encounter was enough for today.
Austin’s cool breath wafted over me as he bent to kiss my forehead. “I’ll return before you’ve had a chance to miss me, and I’ll be thinking of you—the whole time.”
With that, he spun on his heel and left the library, his dark cape sailing after him. And I was left standing there, wondering how someone I’d known for such a short time had become so integral to my very existence.
I knew something in that moment. Love was not just wonderful—love was terrible. Austin was my heart, and that meant that my heart was walking around—stalking, actually—outside of my body and possibly heading into a vast amount of trouble.
And there was nothing I could do about it.