When I awoke, sun was streaming through the windows. I sat straight up. The prince was gone.
His side of the bed was empty, barely rumpled. I put my face against his pillow and inhaled deeply. It smelled just like him, and for some reason, this brought tears to my eyes.
We’d declared ourselves to each other the night before. Our bond was real, and it was forever. But an icy fear pricked my heart. What if he doesn’t come back?
I shook the thought from my mind. There was no use dwelling on what-ifs and feelings of doom and gloom. The sun was shining. The prince had told me he loved me and asked me to stay with him in the North. All of my dreams, ones I’d never even dared to hope for, had come true.
I was in love. The sun was shining. So why do I have such a heavy heart?
But it was a rhetorical question. I went to the window and looked out at the grounds below. There were armed guards monitoring the perimeter, and while this was nothing new, there were more of them than the day before. Wolves howled out in the forest, and I shivered.
Beast rolled out from beneath the table and whined.
“I know, I heard them, too. Come on. Let’s see what we can find out.” I hastily threw on pants and a top, brushing my teeth in record time and pulling my hair into a messy bun. I prayed I wouldn’t run into Isabella—or worse, Giuliana. They’d have a fit if they saw me like this.
I picked up Beast, and we rushed down the stairs. The hall was unusually quiet, with only one guard on duty. “Where is everyone?” I asked.
“Good morning, Lady Kensington.” He swept into a deep bow. “Most of the troops have been deployed to the woods. Our team here at home is concentrating on the perimeter of the castle, with soldiers strategically placed inside. We’ve got everything covered, my lady.”
“And the prince?” I swallowed hard.
“He led his team into the forest before first light. He left this for you, my lady.” He handed me an envelope.
I opened it with shaking hands.
My Dearest Blake,
By the time you read this, I will be gone. I didn’t want to wake you this morning—you were so peaceful.
I need to tell you three things.
1. I’ve told the guards at the castle that you are in charge in my absence. You give them an order, and they will obey.
2. I don’t know when I will return. I might need you to do something for me while I’m gone. If that’s the case, I will send word.
3. Do not leave the castle. I understand that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, that you do not wish to be bossed around, and that you are tall and brilliant and excellent at basketball. That doesn’t make it safe for you outside on the grounds.
4. Did I say three? I meant four. I love you.
Now, forever, and always,
Austin
“Did His Highness leave any other instructions?” I asked.
“He left us with very clear orders, my lady. We are to protect the castle and guard you with our lives.” The sentinel bowed. “I would like you to know that I am at your service. We all are.”
“Th-Thank you.” I put the letter in my pocket and headed down the hall. I shouldn’t have been surprised by what Austin had said. Still, the fact that both he and Eve were gone—and I was here, actually running things on my own—necessitated a strong cup of tea and about five croissants.
Also, I wondered what he might need me to do. I wished he’d been more forthcoming. My head swam with various scenarios. I couldn’t imagine what the task might be…
But more than anything, I just wished he were with me. The night before had been amazing, but I ached painfully in his absence. As I’d told him, I needed him like air or water. When those needs weren’t met, things got complicated.
Lost in my thoughts on my way to the kitchen, I almost ran smack-dab into Robert. He wore a dark tunic and pants, a detour from his normal business-casual attire.
“Where are you off to?” I asked.
“I’m going to fight, my lady.” He raised his chin and straightened his shoulders. “His Highness has allowed me to bring Rose. He said her strength will serve them well out on the field, as will her senses.”
“What?” I clutched his arm, surprised and not at all glad to hear the news. “Is that safe?”
Robert nodded. “I don’t mean to be crass, my lady, but I expect that she’ll enjoy it. It means she gets to…” He looked away.
But he didn’t have to finish the sentence. He meant that Rose would be able to feed.
“Ah, I see.” I shivered. “Are you comfortable escorting her?”
He glanced back up, his face softening. “It’s my honor. I’m happy she’s able to move forward—it will be good for her to leave her room. I’m bringing several guards with me, as instructed by the prince. I can assure you that you and the other humans will be safe.”
“Of course.” I forced myself to smile at him. “Come see me when you get back. I want to hear all about it.” But truthfully, the idea of Rose being set free to attack the rebels made me feel sick.
“Of course, my lady.” He bowed and was gone.
A full breakfast buffet had been laid out in the kitchen, along with tea service. I put Beast down and fed him several pieces of bacon. He ate them happily, but then he sat there, studying my face.
“You can tell I’m upset, can’t you, boy?”
He whined, understanding me perfectly. He was probably surprised that I hadn’t already heaped a plate with food for myself. I sighed and sat down on the floor across from him. “It’s just that Austin and Eve are gone. And now Rose and Robert are going out there. It’s going to be terrible. People are going to be hurt, lots of them.”
I worried for my friends, but I couldn’t help thinking about the human rebels, too. They were asking for trouble by coming to the North for a battle. That didn’t make it any easier to imagine their troops being decimated.
“I don’t approve of violence. I guess that sums it up.” Beast rolled closer and blinked up at me, his pretty eyelashes curving in a way mine only did when Giuliana used those horrid curlers on me. I scratched the top of his head. “The rebels want to take back power, but all they’re going to accomplish is sending more of the people back home into mourning. It’s no choice at all, in my opinion. You can’t beat the vampires.”
“I told them as much, but they didn’t listen.” Balkyn came in and poured himself a cup of tea.
“Balkyn.” I let out a deep breath. “You startled me.”
“I’m sorry, my lady.” He frowned at me over his cup. “Although I expect we’re both going to be jumpy for the next few days, locked up in here together while the rest of them are out fighting.”
I picked myself up off the floor and joined him for tea. “Austin wouldn’t let you go, either?”
He shook his head. “He said it wasn’t safe, but I wonder if deep down it’s because he didn’t trust that I could really turn on my former army.”
I nodded. “I’d say he spared you. I wouldn’t want to be in a position like that.”
He nodded. In the early morning light, his complexion looked improved, as if he’d finally gotten a good night’s rest. “Austin is a great leader for a reason. He understands people, sometimes better than they understand themselves. Because you’re right—although I no longer believe in the rebels’ mission, I’ve no wish to harm them. I have no taste for war.”
“Are you worried for the rebels?”
“Of course I am.” Balkyn put down his tea. “I’m worried about Austin and Eve, too. And I haven’t heard a word from Gwyneth and Dallas or my parents. A lot of things are making me tense.”
“That makes two of us.” I grabbed a croissant.
“I agree with what you were saying to Beast. I don’t see what the rebels can accomplish. I mean, I know what they hope to accomplish—they want to destroy the vampires and take back the settlements.”
“Is it because they love the settlements or because they hate the vampires?”
Balkyn scrubbed a hand across his face. “In the beginning, it was love of the settlements. Our country was in bad shape before the Blacks came, of course. The government in place was corrupt and doing nothing for the people. But we couldn’t bear to have these strangers from the North take over. So at first it was love of county. Then, after we lost so many in battle and discovered what the Northerners really were…” His gaze met mine. “It turned to a campaign of hatred. The leaders made it a crusade against evil.”
I nodded. “But Balkyn, when did you join the revolution?” I wondered if he knew about what had happened in the North before the Black Guard had taken the settlements.
“I enlisted after the Blacks came to the capital. I only learned the truth about the rebels long after I’d shed blood for them.” He poured himself more tea. “My father is the one who told me we’d attacked first up here in the North. I didn’t believe him at the time because by that point, I hated the vampires fiercely. I’d seen too many of my men die to care about who’d started what.”
“What about your father—what did he believe?”
Balkyn sighed. “My father is a gentle person. He never went all-in with hate of the vampires. He’s not capable of it. So when he found out that the rebels had been scouting the North for years—and had attempted to kill the vampires before they’d ever attacked us—he was able to believe it. I was not.”
I nodded. “And now?”
“And now I see that I was blinded by my hate, which was exactly what the rebel leaders wanted. They asked for absolute commitment to abolishing the vampires. In that mindset, no one would question their actions. None of us could have remorse about what we’d done. We were brainwashed into believing that we were saving the world by fighting the vampires. Chase is the perfect example of this. She hates with her whole heart. Nothing you or I say or do will change her position. I was like that, you know. I was worse than that.” He gave a laugh, but it was hollow and humorless.
I reached over and put my hand on his. “We can all be blinded by what we believe. The only antidote is experience.”
He nodded. “It took my sister’s courage for me to see the truth. She refused to give up on me even as I blasphemed her for her love of the prince.”
“She forgives you, Balkyn. She loves you.”
“I know she does. She’s incredible, really. We need more people like her in the world—those who lead with love.” His face darkened. “I hope she’s okay.”
I sighed. “I hope she is, too.”
We set up vigil in the library, where we had the best view of the forest. Beast rolled from Shaye to Tamara to Balkyn to me, and we all scratched him and cooed over him. His happy face was the only thing that could cheer me. Balkyn found a small ball and rolled it across the floor, and Beast chased it with great aplomb.
“He’s getting a bit spoiled, I think, with all of us fussing over him.” Tamara patted her thigh for the gnome, and he spun over to her. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Shaye hopped up and started pacing. “Did you ask Austin for a gnome of your own?”
“Yes, I did. He said he would set a trap when he returned. Gave me a bit of side-eye when I told him I wanted a girl one and to make it on the fluffy side, but that’s not my problem. I’m being picky as much as being judicious.” She glared at Shaye as she continued to pace near the windows. “Whatever are you pacing for? Your nervous energy is impacting my complexion!”
Shaye groaned but didn’t stop. “It’s just that they’ve been gone for hours and with no word. What’s happening out there?” She peered out at the forest.
But of course, the woods didn’t answer. The trees were still and beautiful in the late-afternoon light.
“I know how you feel.” I sighed. “Try to focus on something else. Do you want to play chess?”
“No, I don’t want to play chess!” Shaye cried. “I want to see Lucas alive and in one piece, thank you very much!”
“Ah, there we have it.” Tamara’s eyes glittered with mischief. “I knew it all along.”
“Ugh, of course you did.” Shaye put her face in her hands. “It doesn’t help that he was so wonderful last night and that he finally brushed his hand against mine…”
Tamara smirked. “He brushed his hand against yours, and you’re a blithering idiot about it? You’ve got it bad, as they say.”
Shaye sighed. “He has the nicest hands. And face. And he’s so kind and gallant. He really cares about the settlements and our people.” She shot a quick look at Balkyn, who was studiously tending to the fire. “Sorry to get mushy.”
“No worries. I think he’s a great guy, for the record.” He laughed. “And I like mushy, actually. It’s rather optimistic.”
Tamara ran her fingers through her long, glossy black hair, sizing him up—the cat who was about to corner the canary once and for all. “Who makes you feel mushy, Balkyn, might I ask?” She flustered her eyelashes prettily
Balkyn looked at her as if she had three heads. “Uh, I’m not sure.”
She stopped batting her eyelashes. “For the record, I’m not flirting with you.”
“I know that,” he said, but he looked relieved.
Tamara harrumphed. “You’d be lucky if I was, of course.”
Balkyn coughed. “Of course. It’s just that…well…it’s nothing.”
Tamara looked less pissed and more interested. “Ooh, it doesn’t sound like nothing. Do tell.”
Balkyn laughed and sat back down. He rolled the ball for Beast. “I prefer to play it close to the vest. That way, if my feelings are unrequited, my suffering will be private and not augmented by the humiliation of dealing with it in front of my sister’s friends.” His eyes sparkled. “Okay?”
“Okay,” Shaye and I both said immediately.
“I’ll get it out of you eventually.” Tamara looked one-hundred-percent sure of herself.
Balkyn chuckled. “I’ve no doubt you’ll try.”
I was lucky that my friends were there. Our chatter filled the long void of the day. But after several more hours with no word from Austin or Eve or anyone on the front lines, my nerves began to fray. Once Shaye stopped pacing, I started.
As the sky darkened, so did my mood. What’s happening out there? Is Austin okay? What about Eve, Rose, and Robert? The others left for dinner, but I refused to leave my post.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Shaye asked.
I sighed. “I’m not, actually.”
“I’ll bring you a plate, anyway.” She squeezed my hand and left me alone.
It grew darker outside, and I stopped pacing. I stood by the window, watching as the first star came out. A wolf howled in the distance, and I shivered, wondering if that was the only update I would hear that night.
I closed my eyes and concentrated. Austin, where are you?
But there was no answer. Only the wind.