‘Luke, you’re still here?’
Luke glanced up from his phone to see Ruby standing in the doorway to her small living room. He steeled himself against the warmth swelling in his chest, making his throat ache.
Damn, but she was gorgeous to look at first thing in the morning. Her hair all mussed, her eyes sleepy, her skin flushed, her body barely covered by the silky robe she usually threw on to make them breakfast.
Her face was a picture of conflicting emotions. Relief and hope and happiness, all flitted across her open features, letting him see every one.
‘And you’re wearing a suit,’ she added, as her gaze roamed over his clothing.
He’d woken an hour ago, tiptoed out of her bed and down the fire escape then walked to his house in Notting Hill in his costume from last night – the house he’d only visited to change clothes in the last couple of weeks until the night before last. He’d packed and changed, arranged to have the costume Jacie had hired for him left with the rental shop and the house keys deposited with the agent, then booked a car and driver for the day. He hadn’t planned to return to The Royale. He’d already drafted an email to send to Ruby this afternoon with the details of the settlement he had put together after his conversation with Jacie yesterday afternoon. It had been Jacie’s idea he come to the screening, and he hadn’t even hesitated. He’d wanted to do it. Ruby deserved that moment of acknowledgement.
But as the driver turned on to Talbot Road on his way to the West End, he’d thought of Ruby still blissfully asleep, and he hadn’t been able to drive past The Royale.
As a result, the clean break he’d been hoping for had been screwed.
But right now, absorbing Ruby’s glorious bed hair and the jiggle of her curves under the barely-there robe for the last time, he couldn’t regret it. He wanted to remember her this way, always.
Although he wished he hadn’t put that desperate hope in her eyes.
‘I’ve got a few meetings this morning—’
‘You have meetings on a Sunday?’ she interrupted.
‘Yeah.’ He forced himself to continue. ‘Then I’m catching an afternoon flight to JFK.’
She blinked, and the hope died. He wanted to kick himself. Last night had been a dumb idea – selfish and self-indulgent. He didn’t want her to be sad.
‘I see,’ she said, but then her lips lifted in a determined smile. ‘Shall I cook you breakfast before you leave?’ she asked.
He lifted the bag of almond pastries he’d picked up from the bakery next door after deciding to get out of the car. ‘I bought supplies, so we could talk.’
The sunny smile which had been way too sunny dimmed. ‘What do you want to talk about?’
Surely there were about a hundred things they could talk about. Starting with how he’d climbed up her fire escape for three weeks straight expecting nightly booty calls – and then walked away without a backward glance on Friday afternoon.
‘Is this going to be a long talk?’ she asked, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. ‘Should I make coffee to go with the croissants?’ Without waiting for a reply she shot off towards the kitchen. ‘I hope you got almond ones?’
‘Of course, they’re the best ones,’ he said. And I know they’re your favourites.
How many times had he watched her devour the lush treats, then kissed the stray flakes of pastry and frangipani off her lips?
The surge of heat was swift and predictable.
Yeah, not going there.
He shifted on the seat and tugged some plates out from the stack Ruby kept in the sideboard because there was no room for them in her tiny kitchen.
He arranged the pastries on one, placed two other plates in the spots they had become accustomed to using, and waited for her to return.
And ignored the melancholy, at the realisation this would be the last time he’d hear Ruby making coffee in the morning. He’d been prepared for that hit two days ago. How come he was less prepared for it now?
He could hear her puttering around – filling the kettle, switching it on, waiting for it to boil. Then the aroma of coffee filled the small apartment. But unlike every other morning, she wasn’t humming a show tune.
At last she reappeared with a steaming coffee pot and a couple of cups.
Before he had a chance to begin the speech he’d planned, she dashed back to collect a carton of milk. And a teaspoon.
He poured himself a cup. Took a sip of the strong brew and waited for her to sit down. At last she compiled.
‘Yum,’ she said as she grabbed a pastry from the stack. He watched her rip into the flaking confectionary, sprinkling crumbs, and lick the powdered sugar off the top.
The hum in his abdomen became a definite buzz.
He forced his gaze off her mouth – and his thoughts away from the memory of how her lips tasted dusted with almond sugar.
Not helping.
‘I’ve arranged a settlement with my finance team for The Royale. To pay the debts and keep you solvent for the next twelve months. Once the year is up, you can plan a budget with them for the following year.’
The pastry dropped on to her plate. ‘What?’
Finally, he’d managed to surprise her. Not just surprise her, astonish her from the look on her face.
The prickle of satisfaction wasn’t putting much of a dent into the strange weight pressing against his ribs.
Why did she look so shocked? Surely, the money was the least he owed her? Something he should have done two days, two weeks, two months ago even. Why had he been so determined not to take this step?
It was only money. And it was money he might even get back in time. He could be a silent partner.
If he were an ocean away, he didn’t need to be involved. He wanted to do this, for Ruby, and for his uncle. This was the best way to give back to the guy – for the harm he’d done to him by being born. And to give back to Ruby for three weeks he was never going to forget.
‘My finance department have set up an investment fund,’ he began again. ‘They’ll pay the debts as soon as they become due, then give you access for day-to-day running costs …’
She lifted her hand. ‘Wait! Stop, you can’t do that. I won’t let you do that.’
‘Why not?’ he asked, confused.
This was not the reaction he’d expected. But then maybe he should have. Nothing Ruby said or did was ever predictable.
‘The Royale’s not your responsibility,’ she said, the finality in her voice starting to concern him. ‘It’s mine.’
‘If you’re worried about the ownership,’ he said. ‘I’m planning to sign over my share in the theatre to you,’ he continued. ‘I called Ryker on Friday after I found out what happened with those clowns at The Rialto; he’s doing the paperwork next week.’
She got out of her seat, but instead of relief on her face, all he saw was … What the hell was that? Why was she so upset?
‘When did you find out about The Rialto offer?’ Her lips were trembling. She looked more than upset, she looked devastated.
‘Right after I’d spoken to you in Brynn’s. I knew something was up, that you weren’t telling me the truth. You should have told me what was going on, I shouldn’t have had to ask Jacie.’
She sat back down, her face a picture of distress now. He didn’t get it.
‘That’s why you came back?’ she murmured. ‘That’s why you came to the screening? Because Jacie told you we were going to have to sell the theatre? And you thought you had to rescue me?’
It wasn’t the only reason.
The truth struck him hard. He’d wanted to see her one last time. Wanted to spend one more night with her. But what would be the point of admitting that now?
Her head lifted and her eyes were dry but he could hear the tears in her voice when she spoke. ‘You shouldn’t have come back, Luke.’
‘I had to,’ he said, ‘I couldn’t leave knowing you were going to lose your home.’
‘I can’t accept the money,’ she said, so simply and firmly that the pressure in his chest became unbearable.
‘That’s nuts,’ he said, leading with his frustration. Why was she being so stubborn? ‘Of course, you can.’ He reached across the table and covered her hand with his, felt the spark of connection, the sizzle of need.
‘No, I can’t.’ She dragged her hand free, and the weight in his chest sunk into his stomach.
‘I figured it out, Ruby,’ he said. ‘It’s what I was always meant to do,’ he continued, but he could hear the desperation in his own voice. ‘The theatre was in financial difficulties. Matty loved you like a daughter, he didn’t want to leave you with nothing, so he gave me half the theatre to save it for you.’
She shook her head, her eyes shiny with unshed tears now. ‘That’s not true. Matty was never that mercenary.’
‘I wouldn’t call it mercenary, more like smart.’
‘Why did you change your mind?’ she countered.
‘Huh?’ he asked, the weight in his stomach now heavier than a cannonball.
‘Why did you change your mind?’ she repeated. ‘When you first inherited a share of The Royale, you told me you couldn’t help us. That it was a bad investment.’
‘Come on, a lot has happened since then, you know why I’ve changed my mind.’ Did she want him to say it? Was that it? To make him declare he had feelings for her?
‘What’s changed?’ Yeah, she did want him to say it. He guessed he owed her this, too.
‘Everything’s changed, damn it. I care about this place now.’ He threw his arms in the air, let his gaze roam over the worn couch where he and Ruby had necked while watching a movie he couldn’t even remember, because he’d been too into her. The table where they’d eaten breakfast, sometimes with her sitting on his lap. The hallway, the kitchen. Even the poster of his father on the wall, which no longer had the power to freak him out.
‘I care about the theatre,’ he said. ‘And the people in it.’
He closed the gap she’d created between them and took her hand in his, ran his thumb across her palm – felt her shudder of response. ‘And most of all I care about you.’
There, damn it, he’d said it.
But as he lifted her hand to kiss the knuckles, she pulled her fingers free. ‘Don’t, Luke.’
Chills raced through his body at her rejection.
‘Just because you slept with me.’ Her voice was dull, flat, contradicting the heat in her face. ‘That doesn’t make you responsible for me.’
‘I know that,’ he said. But when he tried to take her hand again, she stood up, and wrapped her arms around her waist.
‘I don’t think you do,’ she said. ‘I won’t take your money. I don’t want it.’
‘Don’t be dumb,’ he said, frustration flaring now. ‘You need the money, The Royale needs the money. I’ve got lots of it. It’s the only solution.’
‘No, it’s not. I can sell The Royale to The Rialto the way I planned.’
‘But you don’t want to sell it,’ he said, starting to get desperate. She was actually serious about this? She’d rather sell than take his money? What was wrong with his money? ‘This is your place. It belongs to you. Matty wanted you to have it.’
‘Matty was a lot of wonderful things,’ she said. ‘But a great businessman wasn’t one of them. The theatre’s my responsibility now and I’m going to sell it. This place isn’t my whole life …’ She let her gaze roam around the room, but where he would have expected sentiment, what he saw was steely resolve. ‘Not anymore. I’ve been hiding here all these years. I need to get out and build a new life for myself. A real life, instead of one that only exists in the movies. You taught me that.’ Her eyes met his, the pragmatism he saw somehow disturbing.
‘But you don’t have to do that.’ What wasn’t she getting about this? ‘Why would you sell The Royale? When I can solve the problem? When I’m offering to solve the problem?’
‘Because it’s not your problem to solve, Luke. It never was. Matty didn’t leave you a share in this theatre to save it. All he wanted was for you to love it, the way he did, because he loved your father. And now you care about The Royale. Job done. Can’t you see that’s all that matters?’
Jesus, what crap. Did she really believe this stuff?
‘I refuse to be another responsibility you don’t want,’ she said, her back straightening.
‘But I do want this one.’ Almost as much as I want you.
The thought echoed in his head.
‘No, you don’t, Luke,’ she said. ‘Because then you’d have to accept the fact that I love you.’
She said the words so simply, and with so little inflection, he almost didn’t catch them. ‘What?’
‘I love you, Luke,’ she said again, clear, precise, and still with that steely determination, as if she were revealing something terrible instead of something wonderful. ‘I think I’ve known it for a while, but until last night, until you came back, I had totally convinced myself I would never have to admit it to myself. And I certainly wouldn’t have to admit it to you. But you came back, and you ruined everything.’ She crossed her arms over her chest, her ragged breathing making his own chest hurt. ‘And now here we are,’ she continued. ‘I can’t take the money because I think the real reason you want to give it to me is you feel guilty, and I don’t want you to feel that way about us,’ she finished with a huff of breath.
She didn’t look as if she expected a reply.
Which was probably a good thing, because he didn’t know what the hell to say. He could see she meant it, one hundred and one percent, but he could also see how sad it made her. And he knew why. Because she was right.
He couldn’t feel that much. Not for Ruby, not for anyone. Because it would force him into a corner he’d spent his whole life trying to get out of.
‘I think you should leave now, Luke,’ she said.
He stared at her, the softly spoken words like a blow. He wanted to take her in his arms, to make her take the money. He didn’t want to let her throw away everything she deserved, everything she’d worked so hard for. But how could he do that now without hurting her even more?
He closed his hands into fists and shoved them into the pockets of his suit pants to control the burst of need and frustration.
He couldn’t argue with her.
Or things might be said he couldn’t take back. Emotions exposed that he didn’t want to reveal. That he didn’t know how to handle.
Emotions he didn’t even understand.
‘If that’s what you want,’ he said, giving her one last chance to change her mind.
‘I do,’ she said, her voice trembling with emotion, but still firm, still sure.
‘Then I guess this is goodbye, Ruby.’
She nodded, her face a picture of regret. A regret he could feel in his own gut, and had spent a lifetime learning to ignore. But as he walked away, he felt the knife twist as he heard her murmur behind him.
‘Goodbye, Luke.’
***
Rubes? I’m outside waiting in the rain? Where r u we’re opening in half an hour!
Ruby made her way down the flat’s staircase, her head aching from a crying jag that had begun as soon as Luke had walked out of her life, for good this time, and would not stop.
Pull yourself together. Tears never solved anything. He’s gone. And you’ll survive.
‘Just opening up now,’ she shouted through the metal shutter in reply to Jacie’s text.
She flicked up the switch to lift the shutters.
Luke had reconditioned the motor and replaced the tracking last week, so the shutter lifted smoothly in half the time it used to take.
Ruby sniffed loudly, wishing she had those extra minutes now to compose herself. A new boulder swelled in her throat. Every time she worked the shutter she’d think of him.
Until you sell.
With the shutter lifted, Ruby unlocked the door and shoved it open.
Jacie turned to shake her umbrella before ducking into the foyer, giving Ruby a few precious extra seconds to compose herself. But despite her best efforts to do so, as soon as Jacie’s gaze landed on Ruby’s face she knew the sixty-second shutter lifting delay that Luke had left her with hadn’t been long enough to hide the evidence of her Luke-induced meltdown.
‘Ruby, what’s wrong? You look like shit,’ Jacie said, appalled. ‘Is Luke still here? Didn’t he tell you he’s going to save the cinema? And why aren’t you dressed yet, it’s almost noon?’
Because I’m falling apart.
Luke had only left an hour ago. So much for being strong, being a survivor, finding a new life, she was an abject failure at all three.
‘I look like shit because I feel like shit.’ She waved her arm in the vague direction of the door to her flat. ‘I’ll go get dressed. Could you open up?’
‘Wait, where’s Luke?’ Jacie asked, cutting off Ruby’s retreat.
‘He’s gone. He’s not coming back. End of story.’ Ruby scrubbed her face and talked around the sob threatening to choke her. ‘You shouldn’t have told him about what happened at The Rialto meeting. And you shouldn’t have persuaded him to come back for the screening, I’m guessing that costume was your idea.’
‘He didn’t need any persuading.’ A blush darkened Jacie’s skin, but she didn’t relinquish eye contact. ‘I thought …’
‘You thought what?’ Ruby asked.
‘I thought he was going to stay,’ she said simply.
So did I, for one brief shining moment of stupidity.
Ruby’s face collapsed, the tears rushing back.
Jacie rushed towards her and enveloped her in a hard hug. ‘I’m so sorry, Rubes.’ Her friend fished a damp tissue out of her raincoat pocket. ‘Here, blow,’ she said, holding the tissue to Ruby’s nose.
Ruby blew, attempting to clear out the sadness clogging her sinuses.
It didn’t work. She felt washed out. Exhausted.
‘Why don’t I ring Beryl and Tozer and get them to cover for the matinee today?’ Jacie said. ‘We can order in pizza, steal some medicinal Prosecco from the bar and keep working on Plan B.’ Her friend examined her tear-streaked face. ‘I’m guessing you turned down his offer?’
Ruby’s tear ducts threaten to flood again as she nodded. ‘I couldn’t take his money, Jace. Please understand.’
I told him I loved him, and he had nothing to say.
She had re-considered her decision several hundred times since he’d left an hour ago – had she just done the stupidest thing imaginable by refusing his, what had he called it, his ‘financial settlement’ – but she couldn’t make herself regret it.
Maybe her head was saying she should have accepted the money. But her heart knew the truth. Accepting Luke’s money would have confirmed what Luke had always believed: that Matty had left him half The Royale because he expected his nephew to bail them out. When she knew the opposite was true.
But more importantly, this wasn’t about Matty, anyway, it wasn’t even really about The Royale – it was about her, and Luke.
It was Luke she wanted, not his money. And she couldn’t have him. Because he didn’t want her. How could she ever move on if she didn’t confront that reality? And while what she’d said about starting a new life had been a desperate attempt to get him out of the flat before she lost the last of her resolve and begged him to want her – like she’d watched her mother do too many times to count – maybe there was some truth in it. She had been hiding at The Royale. Allowing Luke to save her, the way she’d once let Matty save her, wasn’t good enough. What she needed to do was save herself.
‘I do understand,’ Jacie said, not giving Ruby the argument she had been braced for. ‘I wish I didn’t. So, what happens now?’ she asked, but it was obvious from her expression she knew the answer.
‘I’m going to sell.’ Ruby looked around the foyer. ‘It will still be a cinema, which is the most important thing. And Gallagher has agreed to keep everyone on – on full pay – while they refurbish.’ It was a white lie, because she hadn’t had a chance to contact Gallagher yet, but she would drop the price to whatever he asked to get that much for her staff.
‘Really?’ Jacie looked surprised. ‘That’s incredible, he never struck me as the generous sort. I mean, it would have been cooler if you and Falcone’s son still owned it together, but you’ll be rich right? There’s that.’
Ruby sniffed and forced herself to smile. ‘Absolutely loaded.’ Hopefully, she’d have enough to put a deposit on a flat, and take some time out to go travelling before finding a new job. The way she’d always planned. Even if that was the very last thing she felt capable of doing right now.
Going to LA was definitely out, because being in the US would be too close to Luke.
‘So loaded, I won’t have to work for a while,’ she added. ‘The manager’s job is there if you want it.’
‘Wait a minute, you’re not going to be managing the place anymore?’
‘I decided not to,’ Ruby said, making sure she sounded jaunty rather than lost. ‘I think I’ve spent too long here. It’s just not the same with Matty gone.’ And Luke gone. ‘And I need a new challenge,’ she added. It felt like another lie now, but she knew she needed to make this break. She couldn’t stay here, she had to stop hiding, however painful that was going to be.
‘Right.’ Jacie didn’t look convinced, but what could she do about it. ‘So next week marks the end of an era?’
‘Yes, I thought we could schedule the last of Matty’s Classics for the final showing before we shut down for six months.’ Not we, Ruby. She swallowed past the lump of grief stuck in her throat.
Jacie’s brows furrowed. ‘But isn’t the only one left The Last of the Mohicans? Are you sure that’s the right choice for The Royale’s final film? It’s a really dark movie.’
‘It’s not that dark, it’s an epic romantic adventure.’ Not unlike her romance with Luke, a rollercoaster ride of emotion.
‘People get burned alive and take headers off cliffs,’ Jacie pointed out. ‘And pretty much everyone dies at the end. So I’d have to disagree with you there. Don’t you want to choose something more upbeat? Seeing as how you’ve already had your heart broken by Luke Devlin?’
‘My heart is not broken,’ Ruby said, determined to believe it. She loved him, she’d told him, and he’d confirmed what she had always known to be true: he couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to love her back. She refused to wallow. ‘We were only really a thing for three weeks.’ Goodness that was even shorter than some of her mum’s grand love affairs.
‘Hawkeye and Madeleine Stowe were only a thing for about three hours, but that didn’t stop her promising to survive a fate worse than getting her heart cut out and eaten by the acne-faced guy to be with him again,’ Jacie said pragmatically, because suddenly, she was the authority on Last of the Mohicans.
‘Losing Luke is not a fate worse than getting your heart cut out and eaten by Wes Studi,’ Ruby said, fairly sure it wouldn’t feel that way, eventually.
‘It’s not me you have to convince, Rubes.’ Jacie headed towards the auditorium to grab some medicinal Prosecco. ‘It’s you.’