Chapter 15

 

I woke to an empty space next to me in the bed. There were no noises from the bathroom, either.

“Matt?”

Nothing.

I got up and slipped on my clothes, checked the bathroom, then went to look out the door. No car. God damn him. Here I was, all concerned about not leaving him wondering where I’d gone, and he takes off without me? I scrutinized all the surfaces in the room and even checked the floors. “Without even leaving a note.”

“Got what he wanted and skipped out on you already?” a voice behind me asked.

I swiveled to glare at Zyriel. He sat on the desk with his feet on the chair, like the imp he was. No, the fiend from hell. I opened my mouth to let him have it, then closed it again. No, I wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing he had hit a nerve. I smiled tightly. “Can’t find anybody else to get your rocks off with? Have to keep bothering me?”

“Oh, come on now, love. Is that any way to treat your devoted admirer? I love the new ‘do by the way. Very sexy, especially bed-tousled that way.”

I ran a hand through my hair self-consciously. I wasn’t used to it yet.

Zyriel’s own hair fell in carefully controlled, long, mahogany brown waves. His outfit—a brown suede jacket and leather pants—perfectly complemented it.

I snorted. “Listen, with the way you look, I’m sure you could find a million girls to drool over you, so why don’t you go flush them out and let me be?”

Zyriel was up and in front of me in a blink.

My chin went up as I stood my ground.

He merely smiled, and his own eyes followed his fingertips as he trailed them from my neck until his palm came to rest over my heart. “You have such a beautiful heart, Merry.”

The softness in his voice disconcerted me, but… he was a demon, after all. Was he talking about my choices and beliefs or literally eating my physical heart? I didn’t think demons did that, but I swallowed and stepped back. “You know, I remember some things about you, though not nearly as much as you seem to remember about me.”

He let his hand drop and tilted his head. “Do you remember why I call you Merry?”

“It’s short for Alstroemeria, right?”

“Yes, but it was your laughter that drew me in. It was… infectious.”

I snorted. “Like a disease?”

With a wry smile, he said, “No. You made me want to smile, to laugh again, too. You made me feel merry.”

He touched my hair lightly, then put his hands in his jacket pockets. “Now you’ve committed yourself to him, what chance do I have? On the other hand, what if he weren’t around?”

I sneered. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wouldn’t I?” His eyes didn’t laugh now as they bore into mine. “You might wonder what I would dare to have you back.” He abruptly sat on the bed and leaned back on his hands, his legs out, and feet crossed in front of him. “Just remember, I’m not the only one keeping an eye on you two.”

A knock came at the door. I looked over at it, perplexed. Matt wouldn’t knock, and no one else knew we were here.

“Oh, Christ on a crutch,” Zyriel exclaimed.

I looked back at him questioningly.

He smiled sardonically. “Old friend. Enjoy your visit. I’ll just be off.”

“Wait.” I suddenly remembered. “How is my cat?”

Zyriel sighed. “She’s fine. Your vet friend came and got the cat.”

And just like that, he was gone. He seemed to know who was at the door and hadn’t been afraid, just annoyed, so I went and opened it.

A man of moderate height with short white hair and dark eyebrows, dressed in a brown suit, smiled at me. “Hello, Alstroemeria. It’s so good to see you again. May I come in?”

Just to be on the safe side, I reached out and touched his hand without warning. I had an instant blasting impression of a heavenly host singing Hallelujah. It was deafening. I snatched my hand back, shaking my head like a dog that had heard a piercing sound.

He giggled and pressed his fingers to his lips. “Oh my, now that does tickle, doesn’t it?”

Bemused, I couldn’t help grinning back as the ringing in my ear faded. I stepped aside for him to enter. I didn’t know why, but I felt very much at ease with this angel. There was no doubt in my mind he was an angel, and that we had once been friends.

“I take it you are not in full possession of your memories yet?” he asked as he walked in.

I crossed my arms defensively, the reminder making me feel a tad vulnerable. “Not all of them.”

“Do you remember who I am?”

“Not precisely,” I admitted. Hell, I had no idea who he was, for certain.

He sat on the end of the bed, primly crossing one leg over the other and placing his folded hands on his knee. “I’m Gabriel. You used to call me Gabby. I’m here to give you a message and answer some questions.”

“Oh?” I perched on the desk. “A message about what? From whom?”

He smiled again. “Yes, well, let’s start with a little background overarching this… situation.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but what situation are you referring to?”

“Well, your situation.”

“My situation? Me personally, or Matt and me?”

Gabby considered the question. “It does concern Mattheus, but I’m here directly about you.”

That made sense since he was talking to me and not waiting for Matt. “Go on.”

Gabby’s cheerful countenance became grave as he began his lecture. “As you know, there is an ongoing war between good and evil. Maybe it’s more accurate to call it a tug of war. God and Lucifer, Zeus and Hades. The struggle between good and evil, the balance between yin and yang, depending on your inclination, your culture, your heritage. God has revealed himself to many people in many ways throughout time, giving them many metaphors to understand what cannot be understood from the human perspective.”

Matt had talked about something similar. “So, is there one religion that’s more accurate than another? That gives more of the facts? Or that would be more relevant to our purpose here?”

“It’s all relevant, though one may be more understandable depending on your perspective. In one tradition, I’m called Gabriel. In another religion, there is a counterpart for me. It doesn’t much matter.” Gabby swirled his hand in the air all-encompassing. “The point is that we abide by the rules, whether we win or not, no matter what. Manifesting angels here on Earth, this change in the rules of engagement, has been allowed because one side nullified that particular clause by having some demons take the place of souls in bodies that were destined for Earth. Balance must be restored.”

“So they can do that the way we did.”

“It doesn’t happen often, it’s not easy for them to intercept the soul, but yes.”

“Okay, I can see that,” I said. “Matt is a soldier. What am I here for?”

“Your purpose is not to win in any capacity, or overcome, but to restore balance. You are here to redeem the redeemable and exorcise the irredeemable. You are not destroying them, just sending them back where they came from. Their human existence will be cut short, but they still have a “life” if you want, on the other side. Even Mattheus cannot choose to end a demon’s existence on all planes. He’s a warrior, not Vishnu.”

“Vishnu?” I’d heard of the god Vishnu but couldn’t remember what his particular claim to fame had been.

Gabby smiled slightly again. “The destroyer. I know you’re still having trouble with the concept that we all exist. There isn’t one mythology, it is all one, reflections of another, all metaphors to explain what cannot be explained.”

“Reality is 99% perception.”

“Precisely.” Gabby waved a hand regally. “If you want to deal in the concrete, go ahead. It’s perfectly valid, but you’re missing out on something more, another level to your existence which can make it so much richer.”

I picked up the remote for the television and ran my thumbnail around the buttons. “I’ve been human for all my memory. Well, most of it. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. At first, I wondered if Matt was evil or just delusional. Then I decided he wasn’t delusional because my own experiences told me what he said was true.”

Gabby nodded encouragingly.

“Then I began to question what I knew. When I touched the demon Lula, I thought she was safe, then she turned out to be a serious second-level demon, the daughter of a fallen angel.”

“And what did you decide?”

“Well, there was a demon in a man’s body I hit with my car. He was still alive. I had no intention of killing him, but my only way to heal him ended up killing him.”

“Not technically.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“It might have seemed that way, but really what you did was to exorcise the soul. In that case, he had taken over a human’s body and set the soul adrift. That left the body empty. It could have been inhabited by someone else. Since that didn’t happen immediately, it began to degrade.”

“Which effectively kills it,” I deadpanned.

“Well, yes.” Gabby rolled his eyes. “But take Mattheus, for example.”

“Okay.” I’d take him anywhere, though I was somewhat annoyed with him at the moment.

“Is he evil, good, amoral, or something else?”

I worried my lower lip with my teeth as I considered the question. “I was worried about Matt at one point, but you say he’s mostly exorcising demons from bodies they don’t belong in.”

“Which could potentially kill the person within, if they are still there. And you’re okay with that?”

“Mostly, yes, he is performing his function in the balance of things.”

Gabby smiled benignly. “I agree.”

“It’s a bit tricky, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Well, demons are gaining access to Earth through an act of creation, being born. How can that be? How could God allow it?”

“The forms and function are in place. It’s a mathematical equation. One egg plus one sperm equals a zygote, which in time becomes a human mammal. Whatever soul gets there first, gets to inhabit it. The demons somehow came up with a way to get there first, before the human soul. They don’t always succeed, but they do manage it from time to time.”

I shifted slightly and crossed my arms, frowning. “Which brings me to another point. Just how many demons and angels are on Earth now?”

Gabby looked surprised, as if the question had never been asked or answered before. “I don’t know.”

“Really?” I was shocked, to say the least. Weren’t they the least bit curious who was winning this particular skirmish?

“That’s some tricky math in itself. You see, demons and angels can be slipped into the human time stream at any point. If it is or will be, then it is and always has been, for us. Therefore, though you were the first sent to Earth by the angels to live as a human, chronologically, in human time, you came later than some others.”

My head reeled as I tried to follow all of the esoteric situations and logic. “How is that possible?”

Gabby smiled angelically, then tittered. “All things are possible with God.”

I smiled bemusedly. Who can understand an angel while you’re busy being human?

“I wonder if they’ve got a Fuddy Duddy’s down here now.”

“Sorry?” I asked, perplexed at the seemingly random thought.

“Never mind.” Gabby shook his head. “It’s not important, just a chocolate shop I like. It comes down to this: this war or struggle, to find balance, will be won not by exorcising demons, but by convincing demons to come over to our side. How will we do that? Follow your instincts, my dear. That is what you are here for.” He stood up.

“But, Gabby, why? Why are the demons being born as humans if they can just show up here, far more powerful in their own form?

“That I don’t have an answer to. I’m sorry.”

My mind raced. I was sure there were other questions to ask, but he appeared ready to leave. “Wait. Are there others like me?”

“I couldn’t say how many just now, but yes, there are at least a few. There may be more soon.”

The door opened at that moment. Matt walked through, smiling, a bag in his hand, but stopped short. He looked at me questioningly.

“Have you met Gabby?” I asked.

Matt shook his head.

“It’s been a while,” Gabby said. His tone was a trifle cool toward Matt. He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

It wasn’t a normal kiss. Warmth suffused my cheek and sunk in through my body, a blessing of sorts. It swept gently over my brain like a breeze on a hot day, refreshing me and imparting some information. I suddenly knew several things I hadn’t before. I looked at Gabby in astonishment. “Thank you.”

He smiled warmly. “I should be going, let you discuss things. I’ll be in touch. It was good to see you, dear.”

“Likewise,” I replied.

“Mattheus,” he acknowledged as he passed Matt on his way out the door.

“You don’t remember him?” I asked as Matt gazed at the door, his brow knitted.

He turned to me. “He’s familiar, in a way, but no. Do you?”

“Well, I didn’t at first,” I admitted.

“At first? And now?”

“I touched him and got a good feeling off him, like some part of me remembers him. Then, when he kissed my cheek, it was like it unlocked a bunch of memories, more pieces of the puzzle.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“You also remember Zyriel fondly.”

I rolled my eyes, suddenly irritated. “And where the hell have you been?”

“I went to get some supplies,” he said mildly, setting the bag on the counter.

“I needed some things too, but I didn’t go off without even leaving you a note.”

“I did leave a note.” He walked around the bed and picked it up from the pillow. “It’s right here.”

The energy drained out of my self-righteous attack, and I took it from his hand. Gone to get food, back in half an hour. Had I missed it, or had Zyriel been playing games? I felt foolish. Of course Matt would leave a note.

I sat down on the bed, instantly contrite. “I’m sorry, I’m feeling stuck and reliant on someone else. I’m not used to it. I’m used to handling everything myself, being independent.”

Matt sat down next to me and put his arm around my waist. “I’m sorry too.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. We need to think about going back.”

“What?” He looked at me as if I’d started speaking Greek.

“I need to return. I need to face the charges.”

“And walk right back into the same situation?” Matt’s face flushed. “I can’t protect you in jail.”

“I’m going to find a way.” I was determined. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, live my life on the run. “Gabby brought me a message about my purpose here and filled me in on a bunch of things. I understand a lot better now, and I know we need to return and deal with the situation somehow.”

Matt spread his hands. “How about you share some of these revelations with me?”

I smiled. “Listen, you’ve encouraged me to trust my instincts. Gabby was able to impart some information. One of the things he showed me was how to read the markings on a soul. It’s kind of like Dungeons and Dragons. You have all sorts of souls - good, evil, chaotic evil, etc. You just have to choose wisely which ones you put your faith in and how far you trust them. When one comes over to our side, I’ll know. The marking, sigil if you want, changes. Then I can forgive them.”

“I still don’t get it. Souls who are tarnished are indebted. How can they just switch sides?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

“I don’t understand it all, but I have faith in you. You do your thing, I’m here to back you up. I’m not going to argue. I’m just asking questions to make sure you’ve considered all the angles. We’ll do it your way. I’m fine with that.”

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. I was grateful for his faith in me. Maybe it was his nature to follow the chain of command, but why he’d decided I was higher up the chain, I didn’t know. Was he just going along to get along? For the most part, I thought he believed what he said.

“Thank you, my love,” I said.

Matt smiled and kissed me back, then he got up and started pulling food out of the bag he’d brought in, laying things out for us on the desk.

I wasn’t sure who had the upper hand in this war. I had always thought God’s forces were the more righteous, but Lucifer’s army was made up of volunteers. Who was the rebel force here? Were demons thieves, grasping for things that didn’t belong to them, or had they been convinced of the righteousness of their cause by their leader, rightly or wrongly? Humans, by nature, were a wild card, though many of them fought the good fight, like the priest.

There were humans who knew, or at least suspected, about demons and angels. The hard thing was that a lot of those tended to be religious zealots. It was hard to talk with them about shades of gray.

I yawned. I would be so happy to go back to bed for about six hours. Instead, I joined Matt at the desk, opened a bottle of water, and drank half of it down.

I wanted to be totally straight with Matt, so I took a deep breath and spit it out. “Zyriel stopped by, too.”

“What?” he replied, his voice cold as ice.

I flinched.

“With Gabriel?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t think they’re on the same team. He arrived before Gabriel. I think he’s going to be very helpful.”

“Okay,” Matt said. His nostrils flared, and a muscle in his jaw jumped. “How exactly do you expect to be able to trust a demon?”

I shrugged. “Some things are worth taking a chance on. It’s what I’m here for.”

“Come on. Why on Earth would you try to work with a demon?”

I cocked an eyebrow. “I just explained that. I’m here to redeem whoever I can, and I know Zyriel. I’ve known him for almost as long as I’ve known you. I have a feeling I can trust what he says. At least, most of the time.”

Matt snorted derisively.

“It comes down to what Gabriel said—some of them are redeemable, and I believe Zyriel is one of them.”

“This feels even more dangerous than trying to banish them,” he replied.

I grimaced slightly. “It means taking more chances. Trusting more, but I think it will be worth it.”

Matt handed me a breakfast sandwich. “You’re going to need your strength. So am I.”

I unwrapped it. Mmm. Bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant. “My stepfather might be able to help me get things sorted out so we can go back home. He’s in construction, and he’s got connections.”

Matt unwrapped a sandwich and gave me the stink eye. “Like… mafia?”

I almost spit my bite of sandwich out. “No. Like lawmakers.”

“Oh.” He grinned. “Okay, we go see your parents in the morning.”

Well, that had been easy. Too easy? Hmm.